“They’re fine. I’m fine.”
“It’s not fine. I’m so sorry – I haven’t had a blackout like that since I was young.”
She swallowed hard and nodded. “That letter was a huge shock. I’m not surprised this happened.”
His throat felt like it was on too tight. Like his emotions were strangling him.
“It could happen again. You should go to Rodrigo’s. Take the dogs.”
“No. I’m not leaving.”
His chest ached. “Damn it, Minnow, this isn’t the time to defy me!”
“I’m not leaving you alone when you need me here. If you start doing it again, I’ll lock myself in the boys’ room. Someone else should be here when the doctor comes, just in case you can’t answer the door.”
He gave a sharp nod.
“I love you, Severin. I need to be here.”
His eyes burned, and he swallowed past the pain in his throat. She loved him? It wasn’t a surprise so much as hearing her say it aloud was, especially now. He wanted to say it back, but couldn’t even though everything in him ached to.
She knew, right? She had to know it.
“Shh. I know. Just sit.”
How could she always read his mind?
He sank onto the padded coffee table where he’d branded her, looking around the room in despair. His moods were one thing, but expecting her to want to stay if the blackouts were back – that wasn’t safe. And children were out of the question. The chance he might hurt her or the dogs was bad enough. But a baby? He thought of a little girl who looked just like Minnow – thought of waking from a blackout to her beaten or dead – and panic trembled through him.
“You have to go back on the pill. I have to start using condoms too.” How fucked up would his kids be with his genetics? What the hell had he been thinking?
“Stop,” she commanded. “I’m going to make that phone call, but I can’t go to the kitchen if you’re freaking yourself out.”
“I’m okay. Call Rodrigo and tell him to come, if you won’t leave. I don’t want you alone with me, and I can’t hire you a bodyguard tonight.”
“Shut up and sit there, Severin Leduc. You’re talking crazy.” She walked away, her boots clicking on the floor as she made her way to the kitchen.
Back to the shrinks. Back to the meds. Why couldn’t he function better? He’d been safe for twenty-five years.
He hated therapy – didn’t want to start again – but for Minnow he’d do anything.
*
Severin watched the girl, wondering why the hell she stayed after all of his determination to drive her away. The warmth of the screening room was almost uncomfortable, but she was finely built and the price of dressing her to amuse himself was that he had to keep the house warmer than he normally choose to.
She knelt at his feet, her head leaned against his knee as he stroked her hair. They were watching one of his favorite alien movies with excellent special effects and gore, but very little plot.
Minnow hadn’t seen it before – hell, she hadn’t seen much of anything. It reminded him of their age disparity.
The movie’s violence soothed him, and kept him from taking out all of the ugliness inside him on the girl. He’d been too afraid to use a belt on her or even to spank her since his blackout. Even though Rodrigo had basically moved in for the time being. At least until he was more settled.
After taking Dr. Jindal’s advice, they were waiting for a response from Loïc. Severin had requested a meeting through Rodrigo a week ago, but his family had remained silent.
Waiting was difficult, especially since there was no guarantee his brother would ever answer, let alone agree to meet.
A jump scare made the girl clutch his leg, moving closer to him as though he could protect her from the CGI monster on the screen if it happened to come to life. His finger was still wet from her sucking it, and he traced the seam of her lips with the damp tip, and she took it into her mouth again, almost absently. She relaxed, melting against him, and the feel of her little tongue playing with his fingertip made his dick ache.
Rodrigo laughed and threw popcorn at the screen. “This is so stupid. Why does this guy think his knife blade won’t dissolve when he stabs one of the aliens? The crew has seen their blood melting the metal floor grates.”
“Shh. This is the good part,” Severin admonished. The hotheaded member of the team unexpectedly exploded in a rage and attacked, killing one of the aliens through sheer berserk force. He was decapitated by the creature’s blade-like tail whipping around and catching him in the neck just after he’d dispatched it, but saving the rest of his team.
“You would like that part.” Rodrigo grimaced, pushing his dark hair back from his face. “Sure he died a hero, but now he’s going to miss out on the wenching and drinking. He really didn’t think that one through.”
“Wenching? You’ve been watching too much Game of Thrones.” Minnow laughed and threw popcorn at him.
Rodrigo caught some of what she’d thrown and popped it in his mouth, then chewed it thoughtfully. “Wenching is awesome. Maybe I’ll open a whorehouse. I keep saying I should diversify my assets.”
“A whorehouse?” Minnow laughed. Rodrigo always made her laugh. Severin couldn’t recall more than a handful of times he’d even made her smile. “With a saloon and everything? We’ll have to get you a ten-gallon hat for your birthday. Just remember, though, you’re pretty. You’d be popular in jail.”
“Maybe that would be good for my ego, since you picked Frankenstein’s monster over me.” He winked. They grinned at each other. “Not that I blame you.”
Severin tried to figure out why she never looked at him that way. Probably because she and Rodrigo were friends, while he was her...owner. She and Rodrigo were so much better together, and yet she wanted Severin. She even said she loved him. Why wouldn’t she want the life Rodrigo could give her – with the parties and people and fun? He even had a close-knit family she could get invited into. They’d love her. Hell – who wouldn’t choose Ro?
Well...he hadn’t. Couldn’t. But that was different.
For Minnow, the choice made no sense, so he couldn’t trust she’d stick to it. He wanted better for her.
The problem was, as much as she was locked into his collar, she was free to make her own mistakes, even if he was one of them.
Rodrigo caught his eye and grinned, trying to include him in their joking. The five o’clock shadow suited him. It wasn’t often the man let himself relax, and sometimes Severin wondered if that was why he hung out with him out here.
The movie credits started to roll, and Rodrigo got to his feet and started to gather up the popcorn he’d thrown around.
“Tell me I can stay here and don’t have to go to my sister’s art exhibit,” Rodrigo begged.
“You love Mayte’s work!” Minnow admonished, throwing more popcorn at him. He arched a brow at her in the typical dominant fashion, but picked her mess up too.
“I can’t stand stuffy parties. I have to go to my place and shave and put on dress clothes and make myself presentable.”
Minnow smiled, but maybe it looked sad. Did she wish she could go too? She could meet Rodrigo’s crazy family. As much as he complained the party would be stuffy, nothing was ever stuffy if Rodrigo’s family was around. They were wild and fun, and Severin loved when their paths crossed, even though he’d heard Mayte call him la bestia behind his back. The beast. At least she said it quasi-affectionately.
“You should go as his date,” Severin said to the girl.
Rodrigo and Minnow looked at each other then back at Severin.
“What?” Minnow asked, frowning up at him.
“Wouldn’t you like to go to a party?”
She opened her mouth then closed it. “Not without you, Master, and I have nothing to wear to something like that – I wouldn’t even know what to wear.”
“Rodrigo could tell you. It wouldn’t take long to pick something out. You could have fun instead of bei
ng stuck here.”
She glared at him. “You said I wasn’t allowed to leave the property without you. Were you lying?”
“I trust Rodrigo to take care of my slave.”
“Maybe we’ll go sometime, but that means you too. Not just me with Mr. Solis.”
“As much as you like to share her with me, the two of us are just friends with benefits, Sev. You’re not going to trick us into getting involved with each other and leaving you to rot in peace.”
They both glared at him.
“Quit trying to get rid of me,” Minnow grumbled.
“I just thought you might like to go,” he said.
“He wants you to hurry up and fall in love with me so it will hurt less when it inevitably happens.”
Severin felt his bottom jaw stick out more, and he clenched his teeth. “Go to your party, Sigmund. Maybe the crowd there will enjoy your psychoanalysis more than I do.”
Rodrigo stood and bowed his head formally, as though he was a servant. “Should I tell Mayte you send your regards?”
“I sent flowers from him,” Minnow said. “Severin told me to have them sign the card la bestia but wouldn’t say why.”
Rodrigo turned back to Severin, his dark eyes twinkling. “Always listening, hey, Sev? We should get you business cards that say that. Severin Leduc, la bestia. Appropriate. Succinct.” Rodrigo gave him a hungry look. The man was in incorrigible flirt.
Severin raised a brow. “A bit melodramatic.”
“That makes you Beauty, Minnow. All you need is a huge yellow ball gown and you’re all set.”
“The beast would just muss it up – although that could be fun.” Her white teeth caught at her plump bottom lip, and the subtle violence of it aroused him.
They walked Rodrigo out, delaying him with conversation until he had to rush to get home on time to dress for the gallery. He’d become a fixture in the house. Things would be very different when he started dating someone seriously again. His previous girlfriend hadn’t liked Severin much. It had made it difficult to hang out. Eventually Ro had ended things with her because of it.
When they were alone, Minnow turned her back to the door, and knelt in the foyer like a good little girl.
“You look like you want to ask me something.”
“I do, Mister Leduc, but I doubt you’ll approve.”
Did she want to go with Rodrigo after all? “Why?”
“I want to do something to you, but you’re going to say no.”
To him? “Like what?”
“You still don’t let me touch you.”
“Yes I do. A bit.”
“Don’t you like being touched?
“No.”
“But what if I like touching you?” She crawled to him, slinking like a cat, sexy and self-possessed – a woman who’d crawled to a man before and knew the power it held. The sensual movement of her body offset the demeaning nature of her position, making her seem more femme fatale than demure submissive. Not for the first time, he wondered which of them was truly in charge. Using her sensual beauty against him was completely unfair. She could get him to agree to almost anything, if she played her cards right.
“What if I black out?”
“Dr. Jindal is on speed dial on my cell. So is 911, just like you wanted. You can’t avoid being intimate with me forever. I won’t allow it.”
Brat. He chuckled, even though he was uncomfortable with the idea. It was true, though. If he wasn’t going to send her away, he was going to have to trust himself a little sooner or later.
“What do you have in mind?” He reached down to grip her arm and dragged her to her feet, ruining the effect of what she’d been doing and taking back the power in their dynamic. “You’re making it sound like I won’t approve.”
She gazed up at him, looking less certain. “I thought – I just thought...”
He waited while she muddled through her sentence.
“Would you let me give you a massage?”
“A massage,” he repeated. It was a common enough thing even in vanilla relationships, from what he could understand, but the idea of having someone running their hands over him made him shudder with apprehension.
Minnow looked so hopeful, though, and he knew that his hang-up about touching bothered her. She deserved affection, considering everything he put her through, but it was difficult for him to allow it. Over time, she’d gotten him used to the feel of her mouth and hands on his cock when she gave him a blowjob, and her touch on his back and shoulders when he was deep inside her. She cuddled him sometimes, but maybe she noticed how uncomfortable it made him even though he’d thought he was doing a good job faking it. Sometimes he wasn’t faking, though. Sometimes he loved it.
“Does it trigger you, or is it because you’re not used to being touched?” she asked cautiously.
He blew out a long breath and gazed at the ceiling. Letting her into his head was always a chore.
His first inclination was to deny there was anything wrong with him other than typical male standoffishness, but Minnow was one of the select few who knew better.
“It’s both.”
“Can we try?”
His stomach churned, but he didn’t let himself walk away. There was a flash of irritation that she was pushing this, but he had to admit that if anyone could help him work through this it was Minnow.
“Yes.”
She nodded, but didn’t gloat or give him pity. She was a no-nonsense girl, and she knew him well enough to keep condescending sentiments like pity to herself.
“If you ever want to talk about it more, I’ll listen.”
He had no intentions of spilling his guts to her regularly. She didn’t need more gory details. She already knew more than anyone else ever had – at least, anyone who hadn’t been there. When he didn’t answer, she reached for him, letting her hand hover over his chest before she laid it there. His skin crawled, and he ground his teeth together against the unpleasant sensation.
“Shh... It’s okay. Come on.” She held out her hand, he took it then let her lead him up to her room. “Sit in the chair. I’ll start with your shoulders and you can leave your shirt on, okay?”
“Exposure therapy?”
“Exactly.”
He sank into the chair, anxiety making his chest tight. This felt like being led to the gallows. Minnow regarded him and pursed her lips.
“You need a distraction.” She grabbed the hem of her T-shirt and peeled it off over her head. Her bra came off next, putting him more or less eye level with her pert breasts and their rosy, upturned nipples with the sexy piercings he’d helped put in. Blood surged to his cock, and his mind blanked.
“Better?” Her voice broke through his distraction.
He grabbed her ass under her short skirt and pulled her to stand between his knees, biting the fullness of the underside of her breast and watching her nipples pucker as her breath caught.
“Don’t be rough,” she reminded him. Her nipples were still incredibly sensitive, and Rodrigo had warned it could be a year before they were fully healed.
He snapped his teeth at her right nipple and she pouted and thrust her breasts closer to him, daring him to do it.
“If you stay around long enough for those to be healed, you are so fucking doomed.”
She sighed in frustration. “You broke your toy the first day. Bad boy.”
He smacked her ass and she chuckled. Cheeky little thing. She liked teasing him. Maybe she chummed around with Rodrigo, but around Severin she was like a bitch in heat. He fucking loved it.
“I’m going to massage your shoulders, okay? Can I sit on your lap?”
“Yes.”
She put one knee by his hip then threw the other one over his lap, straddling him. A small squirm forward and her pussy pressed against him. He could feel her heat immediately, even through his jeans. Was she wearing panties?
“Why is your pussy so warm?”
She ground it against his shaft.
“I just spent an hour sucking your finger and fantasizing about sucking your cock. I’m a little turned on.”
Her hands came up to his shoulders, and he flinched. She was in an awkward position to massage him, but having her to look at helped. She kneaded his muscles. Did she understand she was making him more tense, rather than less?
He kissed her, and her hands moved from his shoulders to the back of his neck. Instinctively, he pushed her hands away and brought his shoulders up.
“Too soon for the neck. Gotcha.” She flicked his lips with her tongue, and he struggled with the urge to unzip and jam his dick into her. “Ah, ah. I can see what you’re thinking, Master, and that’s not the point of this exercise.”
“Did I agree to doing an exercise?” he asked, clutching her hips and rocking against her.
She whimpered. “Um...I think so? I can’t remember right now.”
“Fine.” He let her go, and enjoyed her groan of disappointment. “I haven’t fucked you in days, but apparently you have other priorities.”
She worried at her lip, as though weighing her options, but eventually grimaced. “This is important to me too. I like affection, and I want to be able to touch you sometimes without it needing to be related to sex.”
“Get on with it,” he grumbled. Maybe he should start getting Rodrigo to cuddle with her more when he was over, but the idea that he couldn’t meet her needs himself rankled.
“May I take off your shirt?”
He sat forward and stripped it off for her. Eyes half-lidded, she checked him out.
“Master?”
“Yes?”
“Can I make a rule that you have to be naked in my presence?”
“My clothes are present for your safety.”
“For my safety? I think we’ve established I can handle your dick,” she said smugly.
“Good. It’ll be in your ass later.”
“Uh unh.”
He’d put a bigger plug into her ass this morning, and she’d whined and whimpered so much he’d almost come in his jeans.
“The plug I used this morning is almost my size.”
“No, it’s not!”
Feral King (The Dominant Bastard Book 1) Page 27