There was no denying him, but then she didn’t want to.
Chapter 4
Riley sat on one of the high stools at the kitchen island in the almost dark space, watching him slice vegetables and shred cheese for the omelets he was making. He usually enjoyed cooking, but with Riley watching him, every movement he made felt sexualized.
Or maybe the sexual part was making a hot girl breakfast in the middle of the night after marathon kink.
The fact that she was only wearing his T-shirt and no panties was driving him crazy, even though he was too sore to try taking her again. Having her here, so close, was far too right, and he was sure he wasn't supposed to be feeling things as intensely as he was. Although he’d thought he’d gotten over her years before, apparently he’d been fooling himself. All this time his feelings had been there, hidden underneath a blanket of faux macho nonchalance.
“I have a hard time wrapping my head around the idea that the guy who used to overcook mac & cheese for me after school now looks like he could compete on Chopped.”
“Hunger can be an extremely motivating factor in a guy teaching himself how to cook.” He laughed, and she laughed with him. For a moment he felt like he was caught in the middle of a perfect, mundane dream – as though time didn't exist and there was only Riley, him, and his kitchen.
“When Gran found out she was on her way out, she tried to teach me everything she could. I think she was worried I'd starve to death without her around to cook for me. Between her crash course, and my trial and error since then, I do okay.”
Riley smile sadly. “I really regret not being able to make it back for Helen’s funeral. You know how much I loved her, but the service and burial landed in the middle of finals and I couldn’t convince the Dean that she was family, so they wouldn’t let me come.”
“That’s okay. I was a mess anyway, I don’t think I could’ve handled seeing you on top of everything else. It was still too new and raw.”
They both fell silent for a moment, but he filled the time sautéing vegetables to cover the awkwardness.
Riley chuckled. “Do you remember when she taught us how to play poker?”
“How could I forget? As soon as she went to bed we turned it into strip poker.”
“And here I thought we were just stripping because of your unholy fascination with my tits.”
“No, no. It’s Vegas, baby. It was all about learning to be more effective poker players. Essential life skills.” He winked over his shoulder at her.
“Oh, of course. How silly of me to think you had ulterior motives.”
“Hey, you were just as bad as I was. You were constantly trying to get me to take my shirt off.”
When he looked back at her, she was eye-groping his chest. “Yeah, but that’s just because I was too shy to ask you to take your pants off.”
A vivid recollection of the first time she’d taken him in her mouth rose to mind – the tentative way she’d tongued the head of his cock, tasting him, looking up at him for reassurance that she was doing it right. His dick twitched, apparently ready to go again even though it would be a bad, bad idea. So many of their firsts had been together, but he hadn’t been the first to bind her or spank her, and that annoyed him.
As a teenager, why had he been so hesitant when she’d all but dared him to get kinky with her? He’d been so afraid of ruining what they had that he’d stifled their sexual exploration of each other and she’d found someone to give her what she wanted.
Now he wished he’d done more with his life so he’d have a chance of collaring her. That slender throat practically begged for one. How was she unclaimed, let alone single?
When the omelets were done, they ate, talked about work, their old friends, and new ones, what they normally did for fun on weekends. The conversation turned to the club, to kink, and eventually to what they were most into. He’d always imagined this conversation, but he’d never thought it would happen, let alone that it would feel so fucking right.
They slept two hours twined together before they both headed off to work. Nate resented every second of the time they’d wasted sleeping.
***
Nate slouched back in one of the two chairs across Jimmy’s desk, watching his boss discuss plans for the modifications Atlas Larson wanted done to his wife’s SUV. How a former car thief had hooked up with a hot cop, Nate would never know.
Why would Larson even think of looking that high for himself? Hell, Nate had a decent job and a clean record, but he should have known better than to think he’d had a serious chance with someone like Riley. Concert pianists didn’t date mechanics.
“Nate, did you hear that?” Jimmy asked, tossing a ball of paper at him and hitting his shoulder.
“Huh? Sorry. I missed it.”
“Poker game or woman?” Atlas asked, smiling crookedly.
“Oh, his ex blew back into town, and he’s been all twisted up for a week because he left the ball in her court and she hasn’t called back.”
“Damn. Did you fuck her?”
Nate glowered at them both.
Atlas tsked, looking amused. “Man, I told you, don’t take the kink all the way to ten the first time. It freaks them out.”
“Fuck you, Atlas.”
The monster of a man cocked his head to the side and grinned. “Hmm…I’d have to ask Mila first. We’ve been exclusive up until now, but for you...”
“Two dominants hooking up? Isn’t that usually a problem? Wouldn’t there be a fight?”
“I could take him,” Nate and Atlas said simultaneously.
Jimmy barked a laugh and shook his head, then chewed thoughtfully on his habitual toothpick. “Besides, what ever happened to wooing a woman – you know? Flowers, soft music, wine. Jewelry?”
Nate grimaced. “Fuck jewelry. I bought her a ring when we were fresh out of high school. She left me before I could pay it off. I’m just glad I didn’t propose, considering she’s ghosted me twice.”
“Ouch,” Atlas said, clapping a hand on Nate’s shoulder. “Maybe she’s into the sex, but not into you? Or she likes you but she’s pretty vanilla? Maybe she had sub drop.”
“Maybe.”
Things had been awesome – or so he’d thought. They’d hung out in bed, talking and laughing. She’d been quiet when he kissed her goodbye in the parking lot, but he’d thought it was exhaustion. Maybe she regretted what they’d done?
He’d texted her and left a voicemail message, but that’s as far as he’d let himself go, even though he really wanted to show up at her mom’s house and make a romantic ass of himself.
In the morning he’d been so happy and tired that maybe he’d missed something important.
Or maybe she realized she didn’t want to be owned by a blue collar dominant.
Nate let Atlas and Jimmy sort out the rest of the SUV details and got back to work on the bike he was redesigning. He wished he could do badass, Mad Max-ish motorcycles like the one Loke had commissioned by that crazy French blacksmith, Severin Leduc, but he’d settle for catering to customers with slicker tastes. Hell, he could use some of Leduc’s money or fame right about now, but Nate’s work either wasn’t as good, or he just hadn’t had the same luck.
“Why don’t you go talk to her?” Atlas said, strolling into the actual garage a few minutes later. “You didn’t get answers last time. You deserve them this time.”
Nate picked up a wrench, wishing he could beat the piss out of the bike instead of making it long and sleek.
“I’m pretty sure it’s the money. I’m not exactly a catch.”
“You’re a talented artist, Nate, and you make a decent living at it. Maybe you don’t have a mansion yet, but no one actually needs one. And to be honest, if she’s that shallow, she doesn’t deserve you.”
It was one of the nicest things anyone had ever said to him. He didn’t think of what he did as art, but he supposed it was to some people.
“Thanks, man,” he finally acknowledged, feeling awkward.
“Awww… Like a fucking Hallmark card,” Jimmy said, feigning a sniffle.
Atlas snorted. “Toxic masculinity is destroying men’s relationships, Jimbo. Read some Buzzfeed.”
Nate flipped Jimmy off and got back to work.
Was Riley shallow? Hell no. She’d been, and still was, one of the best people he knew. She wasn’t petty. But if the problem wasn’t the kink this time, and it wasn’t the money, what was it?
Chapter 5
“Now that’s a sexy car,” Riley’s mom said, peeking out the curtain to the street in front of the house. “I always liked a souped up Mustang.”
Riley heard the purr of the engine and joined her mother at the window, taking the edge of the curtain from her to stop the fabric from fluttering so wildly. She didn’t want the neighbors to know they were spying.
“Thanks. I was afraid I might accidentally summon a bull with all the flapping. Good thing the curtains aren’t red.” She elbowed Riley. “Besides, it would be terrible if the rug didn’t match the drapes.”
Her mother laughed at her own joke, and her horsey laugh made Riley laugh too – until the Mustang pulled into the driveway and parked.
“Oh shit. Shit, shit, shit!” Riley jerked the curtain closed and steered her mother and her walker away from the window. Mouthwatering Nate fucking Sexton was strolling up their walkway. The man had no business looking that good in a black T-shirt and low slung jeans. And the boots. She could lick those boots. She’d love for him to make her do it.
Fuck. She had to stop him at the door and tell him to get the fuck out of her life.
“What’s going on?” he mother dug her heels into the living room’s taupe area rug.
“The guy, Mom.”
“Is he bad news?”
“Only the baddest! It’s Nathanial Sexton.”
“Whaaat?” Her mother used the handbrake on her walker to foil Riley’s attempt to chivvy her out of the front room. “Why would Nate come over?”
“I might have…had sex with him a few days ago.” She cleared her throat. “Accidentally.”
“Aw…Nate. Sweet boy. He has a car now?”
“Mom, he’s twenty-five.”
“Does he work?”
“He’s a mechanic.”
“Oh, well that would come in handy.”
“Mom!”
“What? It’s true. For a mechanic I’ll throw an extra goat into your dowry. Good thing he’s not a plumber. Even I can’t afford that many extra goats.”
“My god, woman! Don’t you have something to crochet?”
“No way. I want to watch this. Can I make popcorn?”
“No popcorn!”
“You’re such a drag.”
The doorbell rang.
Riley huffed out a breath as panic tried to seize her.
“For the love of God, behave, mom. And FYI, no one says things are a drag anymore.”
“Yeah, well no one says FYI anymore either, you little popcorn hater.”
Riley stared at her side of the door, trying to slow the drumming of her heart.
“This part of the show is boring. Fast forward to where you open the damned door,” her mother stage whispered.
“Shh!”
Pasting a pleasant smile on her face, she opened the door, bracing for how hot he was. Even after mentally preparing herself, the crackle of sexual energy between them as soon as she their gazes met was completely indecent.
“Hi,” she said, impressed she could string two letters together.
“Hi, yourself.” He leaned against the brick wall beside the door, and she had to stifle the whimper of desire that threatened to make itself heard.
“Holy shit!” came the inevitable response from behind her.
“Mom!”
“The boy is ripped!”
“I’ve noticed.”
“Make it two goats.”
“Mother!”
“You’re my only child. It’s the least I can do.” She laughed manically. “Hi Nate! Good to see you! I want grandchildren before I die!”
Nate’s cheekbones stained red, but he took her joking in stride. “Hi, Mrs Dawson. It’s nice to see you again.” His smile was blinding and Riley was helpless to look away.
“It’s good to see you too!” Her mother beamed for a long moment, and Riley could tell she’d decided Nate was the answer to all of her prayers. “Well, I’ll leave you kids alone so you can talk.”
“Mom, if you listen at the door, I’m not paying for your therapy.”
Her mother chuckled. “Got it. Oh, and no sex on the new couch.”
The sound of her mother’s walker hitting the doorframe into the kitchen, then the hiss of the sliding door to the back deck made Riley fairly certain they had privacy.
“What are you doing here?” Riley asked rudely.
“I spent too many years wondering what I did wrong the last time. This time I want closure.”
The anger she’d been stewing in since she’d left his place bubbled up. Why she’d expected new Nate, who lived above a BDSM club and looked like a fitness model, to not be a cheater, she’d never know.
“You told me you were single. I’m not interested in being that girl.”
“What are you talking about? I am single.”
“Bullshit.”
He blinked at her, probably trying to figure out how she’d found out.
“What on earth are you talking about, Leelee?”
The old sadness and feelings of betrayal flared back to life. Here she’d thought she’d worked through it all.
“If you’re about to propose to someone, you’re not fucking single, Sexton. Not by any stretch of the imagination. If you think you are, you need to reconsider whether you’re the marrying kind.”
“What?”
“Oh, and don’t tell a girl you’re single and then bring her back to your place and leave an engagement ring box open on your shelf. That was just shitty planning.”
His mouth opened slightly, and realization lit his eyes.
“Oh. The ring.”
“Yeah, the ring. And don’t try to tell me it was your grandmother’s or something.”
He smiled, which seemed mean and unnecessary. “No. It wasn’t my grandmother’s.”
Pain twisted through her. She couldn’t believe she’d let herself hope for some sort of serious second chance for them to be together.
She’d let him go too easily last time. They’d both been so busy, and he’d been working so many hours, she’d assumed he was sniffing around other girls and cut him loose to roam free. She was going to be gone for years, and he couldn’t ditch his grandmother and follow her to Julliard. He hadn’t really argued with her about it when she’d suggested they end things. Besides, she’d been serious about her studies and Julliard wasn’t exactly a party school. Her professors had given no fucks about students’ long-distance relationships.
She hadn’t realized that when they broke up, she was cutting her anchor. Eventually she’d pulled herself together, but she’d never found anyone else who made her feel the way he did. When she’d come back to town she’d wanted to look him up, but was afraid he’d be happily married with a zillion beautiful kids.
One chance meeting and one night together and she’d let herself dream. Stupid girl. Even now she almost wanted him to tell her a better lie so she could go back to dreaming about a future with him.
He was still fucking smiling.
“Did you try the ring on?”
“What? No! That’s…weird and creepy. Why would I do something like that?”
His mouth twisted in a wry smile and he sighed. “Oh well. I always wondered if it would have fit. After seven years I almost had my answer.”
She blinked at him, and couldn’t quite remember how to close her mouth.
“I’m not sure why you left me the last time, Riley, but I don’t even care anymore. Give me another chance and you won’t be sorry.”
“That ring was for me?”
>
“From when you were at Julliard. Why do you think I was working so many hours?”
“I thought you were seeing someone else.”
He braced his hand against the door, then stalked into the house. She backed away from the ferocity in his gaze, but he kept following until a wall stopped her. With another man maybe she’d be afraid, but all this was doing was making her heart beat faster and her lower belly clench with arousal.
He didn’t kiss her even though he was almost close enough to. She could tell he was being careful to give her room to slide away from him if she wanted to, but with him looming over her in that delicious way he had, she had no interest in going anywhere.
“You really thought I’d deliberately ruin the best thing in my life?”
“I – thought you’d found someone you liked better, and couldn’t bring yourself to tell me.”
He barked a laugh, blinked, looked at the ceiling, then back at her, as though he couldn’t believe what an idiot she was.
“And I thought you’d found someone who could give you a pretty life.”
“I thought our life was pretty but then you stopped calling and you were always at work. I was so far away, and stressed out all the time from my classes, and my roommate told me you had to be screwing around. I didn’t want to believe it, but then…I did.” Shame and grief flooded her.
“Fuck, Leelee,” he said, looking sad and lowering his forehead to hers. “Why didn’t you just ask me?”
“I…sort of did, but you were being all mysterious and evasive.”
“I didn’t want to tell you about the ring until it was paid for and I could propose for real. Four more payments, then I had to save for a plane ticket. But then…you were gone.”
“Oh my god,” she whispered. “I kept picturing you kissing some other girl and it made me crazy.”
“No.” He laughed in what sounded like self-derision. “I stayed faithful to you for like a year after that, hoping you’d change your mind.”
“Oh.” Tears welled in her eyes, making them prickle. She raised a hand to his cheek and stroked the rough stubble there. He leaned into it like a cat. “And you kept the ring because I’m an idiot and I never deserved you in the first place.”
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