When I stood up, wiping at my eyes, he watched me with a softened expression. I felt sorry for myself, and I would for a while. And it was a little comforting he felt bad for me, too. This wasn’t a life he chose, either. So we had that in common. He let me have my time to grieve, and I didn’t feel judged for it. That was all I could ask from him, really.
We stared at each other in silence before he said, “She was a good friend to you?”
“Yes,” I whispered. “I was never really able to make friends…I thought this was finally someone I could hold on to.”
A muscle in his jaw ticked. “I’m sorry you had to say goodbye.”
I sniffed. “Me, too.”
He jerked his chin down in a nod, then kept walking.
I followed, already feeling less like Tendra Parrish and more like…the Sanguivita to the Gregorie clan.
Whatever that was. Either way, it was my new life.
Chapter 6
Athan
I’d let Tendra walk in silence for close to an hour. I thought about how I’d react if I was forced to be cut off from everything I once knew, and I wasn’t sure I’d take it well at all. Tendra was handling this better than I would have thought, all things considered. “I’m sorry you’re upset—”
“Look,” she said, her voice a little shaky but firming up. “All humans are different so here’s a little bit about me. I haven’t gotten this far in life without showing emotions. I’m human, and I’m all that entails. I get pissed and I yell, I get upset and I cry. I do all those things because that’s how I process.” She pointed behind us. “That little crying jag? I needed that. I feel better now.” She wanted me to understand, her big eyes peering up at me, her lips parted. She dipped her head. “If I clam up and shut down, that’s when you know I’m not dealing well. Does that make sense?”
It didn’t in my world. “That’s not how I work—”
“No shit,” she muttered under her breath.
“But it makes sense for you. Yes.”
She brushed the back of her hand along mine, and the heat of it made me flinch. “Do vampires cry?”
“Of course we cry.”
“When’s the last time you cried?”
I stared straight ahead, swiping the flashlight beam back and forth. I’d often wondered how much I held on to my humanity once I was turned. How human was I when I couldn’t remember the last time I cried? “I don’t remember.”
She sighed heavily, but didn’t press. As we walked on, she seemed to have collected herself, and her curiosity was once again taking priority. “So how many of you live here?”
“A couple thousand. It’s a big city and there are several levels underground.”
“Wow,” she said. “And how many vampires are alive in the world?”
I shrugged. “Millions.”
“How the hell do humans not know about you?”
I raised my eyebrows. “You make movies and write books about us.”
“Yeah, but that’s made up,” she insisted. “We don’t think you exist.”
“Some of you do.”
“Yeah, and we call them whack jobs.”
I barked out a laugh. “I don’t know what to tell you. We’ve had hundreds of years to practice blending in with humans and hiding who we are.”
She kicked a small stone and it bounced along the bare track until Brex pounced on it. “Do you ever think about what it would be like if we knew? And all coexisted peacefully?”
“Sure, I think about it, and it’s great in theory, but I don’t think it would ever happen. Humans have their battles, and we have our own. Combining them wouldn’t make anything any better.”
“Good point,” she said.
She was more transparent than she believed, because I understood her thought process. “I’m sorry that you can’t have both lives.”
Her head jerked up, and she studied me for a minute before she made a clucking sound. “Can’t hide anything from you, can I?”
“I’m sure you could if you tried harder.”
“Eh, I’m expending enough energy. Speaking of…” She pulled some sort of energy bar out of the bag that Zeb had supplied her with before we left. She unwrapped it and ate as we continued on.
Footsteps echoed off the walls ahead of us, and I gripped Tendra’s arm and pulled her closer to me. The tunnel we were in wasn’t heavily traveled, but I knew it was a possibility we’d run into someone. Still, I wanted Tendra as close as possible.
I strained to listen. The footsteps were coming fast, but they were light—a kid running.
I trained the beam of light ahead and soon a figure came into view. It was Henry, an older vampire who took care of the newly turned. When the light landed on him, he froze, then squinted at me. “Athan? Is that you?”
I lowered the flashlight. “It’s me.”
“Oh, thank God.” He hurried toward me, not even sparing Tendra a glance. “I was coming for Zeb, but I was hoping you were in the city. I have a human who’s been bitten. I’d like you to see her.”
“Is this urgent?”
Henry winced. “Yeah, I would say so.”
Tendra followed along silently as we walked to Henry’s apartment. “Wyatt found her at night running from Valarians. He rescued her and as he was bringing her underground, she collapsed. She just woke up and won’t drink. It’s been hours and if she doesn’t feed soon, she’ll go rabid.”
“Rabid?” Tendra whispered.
“Feral,” I explained. “Out of her head. Eventually she’ll die, but not before she attacks every living thing she sees.”
Tendra walked closer to me. I gripped her shoulder. “She’s got a couple of days before it happens. And she won’t get to you if I’m there. I can take on a newly turned hungry vampire.”
“Why did they want you instead of Zeb?”
Before Athan could answer, Henry glanced at me over his shoulder. “Athan is the most capable vampire I know. We do what he says, because when Athan talks, we listen. If anyone can get through to this newly turned vampire, it’s him.”
Tendra muttered something under her breath and I swore I heard, “Apparently humans do, too.”
When we reached Henry’s apartment, I knocked. Wyatt answered the door, a distant cousin to Zeb. He grinned at me. “A!” he said. “I didn’t know you were in Mission!”
“Well, I am,” I said as I pushed the door open farther. I strode inside, Tendra at my heels. “This is Tendra. She’s coming with me to the mansion, so just ignore her.” I glanced around the apartment. “Where is she?”
Wyatt made a face and pointed to the corner. I hadn’t noticed her because she was huddled in a small ball, knees tucked into her chest, long hair draped over her legs. I drew closer. And slowly, her head came up.
She needed to feed. Her lips were crusty and dry, and her cheeks were sunken and sallow. I knelt down, and she recoiled from me, baring her teeth. Her fangs were down, and I knew from experience they ached. “What’s your name?”
She hissed at me, like a cat.
“I’m trying to help you,” I explained.
“Help me?” Her voice was craggy. “Help me? You fucking turned me into…into…this!”
“Well, a vampire did, yes. But I don’t change humans against their will—”
She began to laugh, a high-pitched cackle. Fuck, she was already half-cracked. “I’ve heard vampires make promises before. They told me I’d love being bitten, that I’d have the best sex of my life, that I’d learn about this secret society of vampires where I wouldn’t have to live on the streets anymore.” She spat on the ground. “Fuck your promises, bloodsucker. They nearly killed me before I got away, and then when they caught me, they did this.” She pointed to a bloody bite on her neck, leaking pus. “And then they thought it’d be fun to hunt me after I turned.” She leaned closer. “So fuck! You!”
She lashed out with a growl, but I caught her hand mid-swing before she connected with my face. I squeezed until she cried out, an
d her glare of hatred seared me to the bone. Even though I knew exactly who had done this, the Valarians were still vampires. I was still one of them, and I felt that guilt deeply. “I’m sorry,” I said slowly. “I can’t take back what they’ve done, but you have to understand we are not those vampires. We don’t feed from humans or turn them against their will.”
Her wild gaze shifted beyond me and landed on Tendra. She sniffed, nostrils flaring, before she licked her lips. Yep, she was hungry. But she wasn’t getting a taste of Tendra. “Find a human,” I said over my shoulder to Henry. “Now.”
“I thought you said you don’t feed from humans against their will,” the vampire said to me.
“These humans are paid for their blood and are happy with the arrangement, but nice try attempting to prove I’m lying.”
“What about that one?” She nodded at Tendra, who was watching the exchange with her hands fisted at her sides, the color drained from her face.
“That one,” I said, leaning closer to the vampire, “is off-limits. Now, can I drop your hand or are you going to try to hit me?”
She studied me for a long while, and then finally she said, “Anya.”
“What?”
“My name is Anya.”
I dropped her arm, and she held it against her body, watching me warily as I explained. “So you either feed from a human, or you die. I know right now you might want to, but we live underground here. We have a whole community, and we’d be happy for you to be a part of the Gregorie clan.”
“You’re trying to convince me to live like this?” She gestured to her mouth.
I heaved a sigh. “We’re vampires but we can still feel. We can still love, and fear and do almost anything humans do. We just have to live a little differently. We’re not all that different, humans and vampires. You have what’s called humanity, but you have to remember, a lot of us were human once, too. At least half-human. He was human.” I pointed at the door where Henry had left. “And Wyatt was born a hybrid. So was I. We all have some humanity in us.” I shrugged. “Some vampires choose to leave their humanity behind. But we don’t.”
Anya’s expression was softening, her gaze drifting around the room to take in its occupants.
“So you can choose to die, or you can choose to live a different life. It’s still a life. A really long one.”
Anya didn’t speak for a long moment, until finally she swallowed and nodded.
Henry arrived with a human. “This is Matt,” he said, gesturing toward the young man who was bopping his head with white earbuds in his ears.
“Hey.” Matt wore a pair of torn jeans, boots, and a wrinkled button-down. His dirty-blond hair hung over his green eyes. He looked up from his phone, and his gaze took me in as I rose to my feet. His eyes widened in his thin face. “Whoa, whoa. You told me I was feeding some newly turned woman. Who the hell is this massive fucker?”
Tendra actually snorted. I glared at her. She covered her mouth, but her eyes sparkled over her hand.
I faced the human again, who was edging toward the door. “I’m not feeding from you.”
He relaxed slightly, but still looked uncertain.
“This is her first feed, and I’m helping out. Wash up, please, then come out to the living room.”
The human nodded, then turned to wash his hands at the kitchen sink.
I led Anya to the couch, and checked her bite wound. The Valarians hadn’t take any care to heal it. Probably because they intended to kill her anyway. They’d let her go through all the pain of turning and then hunted her for sport. My hatred for the Valarians burned even hotter.
When the human sat down beside her, he hadn’t bothered to remove his earbuds. He held out his wrist with a yawn.
Anya eyed his arm like it would bite her.
“Now, I know the Valarians gave you somnus to put you out when they fed, right?” I pointed at my wrist.
Anya nodded. “Yeah.”
“Well, we give our humans somnus, too, but only a small amount. Not enough to put them under, but enough to protect them from being turned. No somnus means they will turn, got it?”
Her hand went to her neck, and her lip trembled. “Yeah, I sure as hell get that.”
Right, they would have bitten her without it. “All right, so Matt’s already had somnus, right, buddy?”
Matt ignored me, his lips moving to music. I punched his shoulder. “Hey!”
Matt nearly leaped out of his skin as he pulled an earbud out of his ear and rubbed his arm. “Damn, what?”
“You’ve had somnus, right?”
He pointed to Henry. “That one gave me some.”
I gripped his wrist and held it in front of Anya’s face. “All you have to do is bite down. And drink. I know you feel sick right now, and your stomach is cramping, and your brain feels slow and sluggish. If you drink, that will go away.”
Anya’s eyes shifted from Matt’s wrist, to me, then back again. Finally, she slowly lifted her hands, held the human’s arm, and bit down.
Matt flinched, but continued to lip-sync to his music. I watched Anya’s throat, waiting for that first swallow. And when I saw it, Anya groaned against Matt’s skin, then began to drink more.
Tendra
I couldn’t take my eyes off the scene before me. Matt sat there, completely happy listening to his music and eating a candy bar he pulled out of his pocket while the female vampire was attached by mouth to his wrist.
I wasn’t sure which urge was stronger, to run outside and cover my ears, or to stay and listen to the soft sucking sounds as Anya drank.
Athan had been amazing with her, and all the things he’d said about humanity rang in my head. He rose from the couch and walked toward me, his expression cautious. “You okay?”
I couldn’t take my eyes off Anya and Matt. “Um, yeah.”
“I’m standing here trying to view this from your eyes, and I can see how it’s a bit weird.”
I gave him a look.
He had the decency to look chagrined. “Okay, very weird. But this is us. This is our lives.”
“And mine now,” I said, despite a dry throat.
Athan’s voice was softer now. “And yours.”
“I thought you said there was…arousal.”
“Ah,” Athan said. “Anya’s saliva isn’t quite strong enough for that yet.”
“I see,” I said. “So Idris…” I was trying to process what was happening and how that would play out in my own future. “Will he use somnus on me so I don’t turn?”
“Yes,” he said. “He’ll only turn you if you want him to.”
“But then how would I feed him?”
“You’re Sanguivita. Your blood will feed him whether you are a human or vampire. Other vampires cannot feed each other, though, no.”
I held my hand up to my neck. “Okay, so I can stay human if I want.”
“You can.”
I tried to imagine Athan as a child. “So you were born a hybrid?”
“I was, but Idris and I were raised knowing we’d be bitten and turned once we reached adulthood.”
“You look older than eighteen,” I said.
He laughed. “Do I? Well, hybrid children have accelerated childhoods. You should have seen me at twelve.”
“I think I’ll demand to see the family photo album when we reach wherever we are going, thank you very much.”
He smiled at that. “If we had one, I’d show it to you.”
Anya was still drinking. “What was it like the first time you fed?”
Athan’s jaw clenched. “It was not bad, but the only reason was because I had a kind, experienced human to show me what to do. My father couldn’t be bothered, and if I showed fear, he would have beat or burned me.”
I hadn’t even realized I’d reached out and touched his arm until my fingers closed around hard muscle. “That’s fucking mean.”
He murmured under his breath, “That’s the least of the mean things he’s done.”
The
magnetic pull that I’d felt since we first met in the bar had me leaning in closer, intrigued beyond belief by Athan Gregorie. His heart was bigger than his biceps. “But you took the time to help Anya.”
A muscle in his jaw jumped. “Maybe my father made the right call as king. He is that for a reason. I don’t know. But that wouldn’t have worked for Anya, and it wouldn’t work for most vampires.”
I smiled up at him, unfettered by his irritation. “A good king understands that everyone responds to authority differently—whether it’s a strong hand or a soft hand.”
“I’m not their king.” His tone was final.
Right, Idris would be. His brother. And I’d be by his side, gripping his arm. My stomach twisted painfully and I dropped Athan’s arm. “Well, they’re lucky to have you.”
Movement on the couch alerted us that Anya was done drinking. She pulled off Matt’s wrist, leaving behind two small punctures, out of which blood immediately pooled.
“Seal up the bite with a swipe of your tongue,” Athan said.
“Oh.” Anya’s cheeks flushed, and she ran her tongue over the wounds.
Matt didn’t even flinch as he checked his wrist and slipped his earbuds from his ears. “Feel better now?”
It was unmistakable that Anya needed that. Her color was flush, eyes brighter. When she grinned at us, her teeth were bloody as her fangs retracted. “I feel like I could fly right now.”
Athan lifted his eyebrows. “That’s great but you can’t. Henry here will get you set up with an apartment and show you around, give you the rules. You’ll be assigned a mentor for a couple of weeks until you get settled in.”
I was impressed they had a whole system. Anya stood up, a little shaky on her feet, and took Henry’s offered arm. “Thank you,” she said, eyeing Athan. “I didn’t catch your name?”
Henry laughed softly. “Honey, this is Athan, and his family rules this clan. Not every day new vampires get an introduction to this world from Athan Gregorie.”
Athan rolled his eyes and gave Henry a wave. Anya watched him from over her shoulder until they were outside the door. Matt followed them, sending us a sloppy salute.
The other vampire—Wyatt—stood beside Athan, his hands on his hips. “Thanks for helping us out,” he said. “Do you need anything?”
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