by M. A. Hunter
The sound of low voices from beneath the floor told Natalie that it was likely her dad had fallen asleep in front of the television again, and probably the sound of glass was emanating from the television set. Sitting on the top step, she gently lowered herself down the staircase on her bottom as she had done earlier, but stopped just as she was about to open the door to the living room.
‘I know all that, Bill,’ her dad’s voice carried, ‘but I’ve tried, and she really doesn’t know where Sally ran to.’
‘One of them must know,’ Lieutenant-Colonel Havvard’s voice boomed. ‘Let me speak to Natalie directly. I need to know where she’s gone, Geoff.’
‘With all due respect, Bill, I will handle my daughter.’
‘Do you think she knows where Sally went? She’s your daughter; you must have an idea if she’s lying or telling the truth.’
‘Cheryl says she’s telling the truth. That she really doesn’t know where Sally ran off to.’
‘But you have doubts, don’t you? I knew it! Just let me have five minutes alone with her and I’ll have her singing like an angel.’
‘No, Bill! I will speak to her.’
Natalie had no doubt they were discussing her, and wondered whether Louise and Jane’s parents were receiving the same level of pressure.
‘Do you want a refill?’ her dad asked next, followed by the clinking of the decanter against two glasses. That must have been the sound that had woken her – they were drinking whiskey – but Natalie hadn’t even realised they were on first-name terms.
‘I don’t know what I’m going to do if we don’t find her,’ Havvard continued, now sounding further away from the door. ‘The secrets that girl could spill would be… well, it could be the end for all of us.’
Natalie froze. What secrets could Sally possibly know to jeopardise someone as important as the Lieutenant-Colonel Havvard? Could Sally have overheard him discussing top military strategy with her dad Owen? What possible motive would Sally have to share that with anyone?
‘What’s Owen said about it?’ Natalie’s dad said next. ‘Has he given any reason why she would run away?’
There was a momentary silence before Havvard spoke again. ‘He says he doesn’t know, but there have been rumours before – all hearsay as far as I’m aware – but I don’t believe things were quite as cosy at home as he would like the rest of us to think.’
‘I know the rumours you’re referring to, Bill, and I raised my own concerns with you about Owen and his violent temper, and you assured me you had dealt with it.’
‘I had. I mean, I have dealt with it. He was given a final warning about his behaviour and ordered to attend anger management classes.’
‘Where was he on the night she disappeared though?’
‘At home in bed with Diane of course.’
There was anxiety in her dad’s voice when he spoke again. ‘But how do we know she didn’t make it home that night? What if Owen did hear her return and confronted her about sneaking out? I know from my reaction to finding out about Nat’s trip to the woods how incensed I was. What if Owen had been drinking and things turned violent?’
‘Owen couldn’t kill his own daughter. Don’t be absurd, man!’
‘It could have been an accident. They do happen, remember?’
Natalie stirred at the tone her father was now using.
‘This isn’t like that, Geoff.’
‘No? How can you be so sure? Listen, I know you didn’t mean what happened, which is why I helped you sort it out. How can you be so sure history isn’t repeating itself now?’
Natalie started at the sound of a tumbler being slammed down against a table. ‘That is a very serious allegation to be making about a friend of ours, Geoff, and unless you have a shedload of evidence to back up your theory, I wouldn’t go mentioning it again.’
‘Okay, Bill, I’m sorry. You’re right, I know you are. Owen couldn’t kill Sally and then cover it up. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any offence.’
‘And the less you say about that other thing, the better,’ Havvard growled. ‘You don’t want to get on my bad side, Geoff. You know what I’m capable of.’
Natalie couldn’t stand the suspense any longer, and hurried back up the stairs on her bottom, making it up barely seconds before Havvard emerged from the living room, slamming the front door as he left.
Natalie had seen the bruises on Sally’s torso when she’d been changing for PE once. Natalie had even asked her what had caused such patches of yellow and purple. Sally had laughed it off and said she’d missed a step and fallen down the stairs the week before, but there had been something in her voice that had made the memory stick in Natalie’s mind. What if her dad was right? What if Sally had made it out of the woods and back home? What if all her worrying about the spell going wrong was just teenage angst?
There was only one way to find out. Waiting until her dad had gone to bed, she snuck back out of her room and down the stairs, finding the empty decanter and two empty glasses still on the small coffee table next to the sofa. Reaching for the phone, she covered the mouthpiece with her sleeve, and dialled 999.
‘I’d like to report a murder,’ she whispered into her sleeve.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Now
Weymouth, Dorset
My attention is drawn back to proceedings by Cheryl’s whimpering when the administrator invites Sam up to the stage to say a few words about Natalie. He squeezes Cheryl’s arm, before heading to the small podium and microphone.
‘What can I say about the brilliant and beautiful Natalie Sullivan that will adequately summarise who she was and what she meant to all of us? The woman I met was shy and vulnerable, and kept a high defensive wall, but once that was scaled she was funny, and smart, and had so much love to offer. But there were problems in her life too; I’m sure that will come as no surprise to any of you here. She struggled with her mental health, and whilst for a time she found balance, trouble was never too far away.’
Cheryl sobs quietly beside me and I place an arm around her shoulders in an effort to provide some level of comfort. I really wish Rachel was here now; she’s so much better with emotive situations like this.
‘When Cheryl called and told me how Natalie had died, I have to be honest, I wasn’t surprised. Devastated, but not surprised. Sometimes those who appear strongest and most able to cope with anything are just putting on a show, and I think that was definitely the case with Natalie when we were together. I wish, when she reached the point where she knew she couldn’t go on, she’d just picked up the phone and called me. I don’t think I will ever forgive myself for not being there when she needed me most. I…’ He stops and squeezes the bridge of his nose. ‘I’m sorry, Cheryl, I can’t do this… not with them here.’
He is now staring directly at Louise and Jane and there is a definite sudden chill in the room.
‘How the two of you have the audacity to come here and mourn the woman that you broke as a girl is beyond me. How dare you sit there and pretend to weep at her passing!’
I glance over my shoulder and can see that Louise has buried her face in her hands, but Jane is staring directly back at Sam, who now leaves his post at the podium and returns to Cheryl’s side.
‘I’m sorry,’ he whispers. ‘I know I promised I wouldn’t say anything, but they shouldn’t be here. Natalie would never tell me what happened when she was younger, but she would occasionally mention their names and it would make her so upset.’
‘It’s okay, Sam, it’s okay,’ she whispers back, resting her head on his arm.
The shuffling behind me is confirmation that Louise and her husband are leaving, and I so desperately want to go after them and confront Louise about that night fifteen years ago, but I can’t abandon Cheryl like this either.
The administrator returns to the podium and does his best to return to the order of service, which continues in a more abrupt fashion, ending with Natalie’s favourite song as the coffin is lowered into the
hatch beneath it, ready for the fire. Both Sam and Cheryl sob while this happens, and even I feel my eyes tearing up, even though I only spent a couple of minutes in Natalie’s presence. Crematoriums can be like that though – so heavily charged with emotion that it’s difficult not to get sucked into the maelstrom.
As we stand to leave, I’m surprised to see Jane Constantine is still sitting towards the back of the room. Despite Louise’s early exit, she has remained and, as we pass, she makes a beeline for Cheryl.
‘I’m so sorry for your loss, Mrs Sullivan.’
‘You shouldn’t even be here,’ Sam says, stepping between them, clearly not one who cowers at confrontation.
‘I know I don’t deserve to mourn her, but despite what you may think, Natalie did mean a lot to me and I genuinely feel the world has lost a great spirit in her.’
Sam leads Cheryl out of the large room but I hang back and nod at Jane. ‘It’s Jane Constantine, isn’t it?’
Jane considers me before nodding briefly. ‘Sorry, have we met?’
‘No,’ I quickly reassure her. ‘I’m…’ – how best to describe my role here today? – ‘I’m a friend of the family. Are you in a hurry to get away, or would you be able to spare me a few minutes to talk about Natalie?’
She crooks her arm and the sleeve of her jacket rolls up, revealing a diamante-encrusted watch. ‘I’ve got time. It’s not like I’ll be very welcome at the wake.’
I usher myself past Jane and sit down on the seat beside her. ‘You went to school with Natalie, right?’
Jane smiles briefly, nodding. ‘Supposed to be the best time of our lives, right? It was for a while, but growing up on that base was so stifling. I didn’t realise it at the time, but since I’ve moved away, I now see it was suffocating me.’
‘Did you remain on the base for a long time after Natalie left?’
‘I was there until I turned eighteen, and then I left to go to university. My mum retired from active service shortly after, and she and my dad relocated to Norfolk to be closer to where I was studying.’
‘Have you managed to remain in touch with Louise Renner? I saw her here earlier, but I think she rushed off.’
Jane looks around the large, empty room, as if searching for something. ‘I haven’t seen her since I left for university. The last I heard she was planning on taking a gap year, and then we just lost touch. I didn’t even realise she’d be here today, but I suppose it shouldn’t be such a surprise.’
‘How come?’
‘We were good friends once upon a time – me, Louise, Natalie and… Quite the little crew on that base. I thought we’d be friends for life and that nothing would separate us.’
‘You were there in the woods the night Sally Curtis disappeared, weren’t you?’
Her eyes widen in sudden panic, and this time she checks over her shoulder as she takes in the entire room. ‘Who did you say you were again?’
‘My name’s Emma Hunter and Cheryl asked me if I would attend today.’
Her eyes are practically on stalks as her brain makes the connection. ‘I know you! You’re that writer who’s always on the television. You wrote that book about them kids in the boys’ home.’
‘Yes, I am, but that isn’t why—’
‘Sorry, luv,’ she says, hoisting herself up, ‘I ain’t talking to no reporters about any of that business.’
‘Please,’ I say loudly enough for her to look back. ‘I was with Natalie when she took her life.’
‘You some kind of sicko then, or what? Like one of them killers returning to the scene of the crime?’
Something has her rattled and despite my best efforts to calm her down, she’s only growing tenser. ‘I’m sorry, luv, but I have nothing further to say to you.’
She’s moving towards the door. I can’t keep beating about the bush: directness is the only answer. ‘Before she died, Natalie made me promise I’d find Sally and tell her she was sorry. You were there in those woods when Sally died, and I know the four of you were practising some kind of witchcraft, Jane.’
She stops, but doesn’t turn.
‘I think Natalie was under the impression that the spell you all cast somehow caused Sally to vanish, and she’s spent the last few years trying to unravel whatever it was you did. You should have seen her room. It was a shrine to Sally – maps and clippings of other mystical events from the years littered the walls. I’m not here to expose your secrets, Jane, I just want to live up to the promise Natalie demanded. I need to find Sally.’
This last statement has Jane turning back to face me. A line of saltwater is barely clinging to her false eyelashes, but she’s not the only one. My own vision is misting as that’s the first time I’ve admitted that I need to find Sally. Despite trying to convince myself that it would be impossible, and that I didn’t want to offer Cheryl and Diane false hope, the truth is I now need to find Sally. My mind and soul won’t allow me to rest until I do.
‘Natalie wasn’t right in the head in those later years,’ Jane says coldly. ‘What we did… the reason we were there was kids’ stuff. It had nothing to do with Sally disappearing.’
I shake my head. ‘No, there’s more to it than that. Natalie blamed herself for what happened… to the point where her only out was death. You can’t belittle what happened when it caused such pain and hurt to one of your coven.’
Her mouth drops. ‘We weren’t a coven!’ she shouts. ‘We were four stupid girls who got mixed up in something none of us could comprehend. Yeah, we made that clearing look proper with oats and chalk, and stones and tree decorations… I probably went over the top with all that shit, but all we did was say some words. It wasn’t real; none of it was.’
A small gale blows in as Louise Renner opens the door to the hall; she’s frowning. ‘What’s going on in here? I heard shouting. Jane, are you all right?’
Jane wipes the tears from her eyes, her acrylic nails catching and almost tearing off the false eyelash. ‘Louise, I… I didn’t say anything.’
Louise holds her hand up to cut her off. ‘I recognise you, don’t I? You’re someone famous?’
‘Not exactly,’ I say, the introvert in me taking over.
‘What were you two arguing about?’
‘We weren’t arguing,’ I say defensively, uncertain why I suddenly feel so intimidated to be in this woman’s presence. Is this what it was like for Natalie all those years ago? Is that what Sam meant when he verbally attacked Louise and Jane at the podium?
‘I heard raised voices. Jane is my friend and if anyone comes after her, I will put myself forward to help her.’
Jane is nodding now, almost gloating at me as she cowers behind the other woman. I wish I had my own guardian to come to my aid. Why didn’t I bring Rachel with me?
‘I was asking Jane about the night Sally Curtis disappeared,’ I say, channelling my inner Maddie. ‘You were there, Louise, along with Jane and Natalie. I am trying to find out the truth about what happened to Sally that night. I mean, what really happened to Sally.’
Louise looks from me to Jane, glaring at her friend before returning my gaze. ‘That’s all ancient history. What gives you the right to go dragging all of that up, especially on a day like today?’
‘Natalie’s last words were to ask me to find Sally, and to tell her she was sorry. You tell me why she would say that.’
‘How would I know what was going through that woman’s twisted psyche? She was mentally unwell. You do know that, right? She’d been sectioned in a psychiatric hospital.’
‘She was a troubled young woman,’ I counter, ‘and I believe her troubles stemmed from whatever the four of you did that night. All I’m trying to establish is what happened, so that maybe I can find her and bring her home to her mum and dad.’
Louise scoffs. ‘You wouldn’t want to if you knew what they were really like.’
This is a new angle. The only accounts I’ve had of Sally’s home life have been from Cheryl and Diane herself.
‘Why?
What was life like at home for Sally?’
Louise scoffs again but doesn’t immediately answer.
‘What do you mean, Louise?’ I try again.
‘What I’m saying is that you should get your facts straight before you start coming after three naïve schoolgirls. If you really want to know why Sally took off that night, you need to look for what she was running from.’
‘So, if nothing happened in those woods, and Sally left of her own volition, why all the secrecy? Why all the lies about playing truth or dare that the three of you clung to all these years? If you knew Sally had run away, why not tell the authorities that?’
Louise shakes her head. ‘Come on, Jane, let’s get out of here. We should probably make some kind of appearance at the wake. Despite all her flaws, Natalie was a good friend once upon a time.’
Jane doesn’t take a second look at me before interlocking her arm with Louise’s and the two saunter off like they are somehow above my questions. I’m about to chase after them when I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. Answering it, I head out of the room so I won’t lose sight of Louise and Jane.
‘Miss Hunter? It’s Pam Ratchett, one of the nurses from your mum’s home.’
I freeze, a tight ball of dread inflating in my gut and rising through my ribcage.
‘Is she…?’ I can’t finish the sentence.
‘Your mum’s had a fall, Miss Hunter. She’s conscious, but she’s in a bit of a bad way. We thought you should know, in case you wanted to see her.’
‘I’ll come straightaway,’ I say without hesitation.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Now
Weymouth, Dorset
Having made my excuses and apologised to Cheryl for not attending the wake, I hop into a taxi and head straight for the nursing home on the other side of Weymouth. I often try to walk to the home but I desperately need to check on Mum. I’ve been meaning to call in on her but have kept making excuses, and now the guilt is overwhelming. Maybe if I’d gone to see her today instead of to a stranger’s funeral she wouldn’t have fallen. I’m being irrational but it’s only because I know that recently I haven’t been the daughter she needs.