Logan glanced over his shoulder before turning back to me. “He’ll hurt you more than I ever did.” He dropped my arm and pushed past Ryder on his way back to the bar. Ryder glared at him, and I could tell he was contemplating going after Logan. I pulled his arm and he turned to me, his angry expression softening.
“That guy’s kind of an asshole.” He looked back at the bar where Logan slammed down a shot and shouted out to the bartender for another.
“Yeah, he is.”
He looked back at me with a hint of a smile. The air between us sizzled, and I needed to be closer. I could still feel his smooth skin under my tongue. I had done it to get under Logan’s skin, to make him see we were truly over, but the electricity between Ryder and me was unmistakable. Every second with him was embedded into my mind, and I wanted him to stay there.
I tried to walk past him to return to Shelby, but he yanked me to him, his fingers digging into my hips. “Why do you always have to test me?”
“I wasn’t trying to test you, Ryder,” I managed to say as his warm breath caused chills to race up my spine. He nipped my neck, and I yelped as I pulled back and glared at him.
“You come here dressed like that, knowing it will drive me crazy. Then you use me to fuck with that prick. And if that wasn’t bad enough, you let him put his lips on you. That show you put on wasn’t necessary. I’m not going to let anyone else have you, Lexi.”
I tried to shove him away, but his hold on my hips was firm. “You’re not my boyfriend, Ryder. You’re not even my real brother, so you can’t control my life.”
He molded my body to his and ground his unmistakable arousal against me. “Does this feel like brotherly love?” he hissed. “I don’t want to be your brother, and I don’t even need to be your boyfriend. I just have to be the only man who lies between those sexy legs and feels you wrapped around me.”
He ran his warm tongue down my neck, and I swore I was seconds away from combusting on the dance floor. The crowd around us became a blurry haze as the music flowed. Ryder licked at my collarbone, and then he moved down between my breasts.
“Ryder,” I moaned as I tried to push him away. I needed a little space to gain a logical perspective, but he denied me. He held on and sucked on the skin at the top of my breast. If the dance floor wasn’t so crowded, I was sure we’d be making a huge spectacle of ourselves.
His hands finally loosened on my hips, only to shift around and cup my ass. He held me prisoner, but I was an all-too-willing captive.
“Ryder, we can’t do this here.” I didn’t even recognize my voice as it rasped out.
He finally pulled away, only to rest his head against my forehead. His eyes were so dilated they no longer looked blue. He stared at me, his breaths heavy with need.
“Let me take you home so we can stop pretending we don’t need each other more than anything else.”
“Yes,” I managed to whisper. His lips brushed against mine, and he took a deep breath before grabbing my hand and dragging me back to the bar. We said our goodbyes quickly. Shelby and Ty gave us knowing grins before returning to their conversation. Logan was still there, shooting daggers my way with his narrow-eyed gaze. Noah was leaning over the bar, whispering to him. I found it weird because Noah hated Logan but Ryder pulled me toward the door before I could question him.
I was more nervous getting on the back of Ryder’s bike this time. It was much easier to flirt with him when I was intoxicated. The attraction between us was a lot stronger than we’d like to admit, and I was definitely afraid there may be some emotions that would be hard to keep locked up once we slept together.
When we got to his place, I followed him silently onto the elevator. I knew this was my last chance to turn back, but I couldn’t if I’d wanted to. My body was highly in tune with his, and it took over my mind. Ryder glanced at me, then at the door sliding shut, and pounced at me. He backed me up against the elevator wall so quickly I held on to him to keep my footing.
He lifted me, wrapping my legs around his waist as his tongue invaded my mouth. Tonight I was getting full-force Ryder, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. The door slid open, and he broke the kiss as he fumbled in his pocket for his keys. I immediately latched onto his throat, running my tongue along the vein that was straining on his thick neck, and then I sucked on his skin. He tasted better than I’d remembered. He pressed my back against the door as he tried to get his key into the lock.
When the door finally opened, he stumbled into the apartment and slammed the door shut behind us. His big body pushed me against a wall, and his breath caressed my ear. “Last chance,” he whispered. “You can still get away before I ruin this.”
“Ruin what?” I asked in a shaky voice. The adrenaline pulsing through my veins made everything feel magnified. His scent was delicious, spicy, and dangerous. I needed to taste. I flicked my tongue out, and he inhaled sharply as I caressed his soft skin with my tongue. He tasted sweet and salty, opposite flavors that complimented each other.
“Ruin everything you’ve been trying to hold on to. The innocence of our relationship will be over. I’ll never let you be with another man. You’d never stop comparing, anyway,” he said with a wicked smile.
“Cocky much?”
His lips smashed down onto mine as if trying to prove a point, and I opened up to his prying command. His tongue was as lethal as promised, because I was beginning to lose my thought process as he consumed me, sucking and drinking from my mouth like a man dying of thirst. His fingers gripped the back of my thighs as he carried me effortlessly through his home. I automatically tightened my legs around his waist, clinging to his shoulder and hair.
Our lips stayed attached until he tossed me onto the middle of his large bed. I heard a click, and the room was suddenly filled with soft light. Before my eyes could adjust, he was on me, over me, kissing me and rubbing his massive erection between my spread thighs. He was a lot to handle, overwhelmingly aggressive, attacking all my senses at once. I tasted him in my mouth, I felt his hands exploring my body, and his scent lingering in the air was making me delirious. His groans tempted me to push him onto his back and really make him roar.
I kept my eyes shut because I knew the sight of him towering over me would be my undoing. His soft features had a rough edge. He was one big anomaly. Nothing like the guys I was used to being around. He was unique in every way, surpassing any man I’d ever been with, and he had barely even touched me yet.
His hand skimmed over my breast. I arched up toward him. The effort to get him to ease the ache in my erect nipples was futile because he was in charge and was only giving me little pieces of pleasure at a time. He pulled his mouth away from my lips, and I missed the sensation immediately. I peeked at him under heavy lids as he knelt between my wantonly spread thighs and bit on his bottom lip.
God, that’s sexy.
He reached out, and before I could stop him, he gripped the top of my dress, right between my breasts, and tore it down the middle.
“What the hell?” I gasped as I tried to sit up and look at my favorite dress, but both his hands cupped my bare breasts, and I immediately fell back to the bed, weak from the pleasure of it. He pinched my nipples, and I swore it felt like he’d stroked my clit. Jolts of pleasure ran through me as my head tossed from side to side on the pillow. Just when I thought I was at my breaking point, his warm tongue enveloped one of my sensitively rigid tips. He gently sucked on it, my moans echoing through the room. He bit and soothed it repeatedly before doing the same with the other. I was on the verge of something huge, but I needed him to let me go over that peak.
“What do you need?” he mumbled against my tortured nipple.
I forgot to be embarrassed as I whimpered. “I need to come. Please let me come,” I begged. His hand was instantly at my panties, pulling the crotch aside.
He glided his fingertips over the wet flesh between my legs while moaning, brushing over the hood of my clit ever so lightly. He plunged two thick fingers into
my tight wetness, and I lost my breath. He sucked hard on my nipple, his fingers nudging at my magic spot perfectly. A gasp slipped through my tightly shut mouth, then I exploded. I was sure I was having an out-of-body experience, because I felt like I was on another plane. My mind shut down, and all I could do was feel the rush of dizzying sensation flowing through me.
As I came back down, I felt him tugging off my panties. I lay limply on the bed because I didn’t have the ability to move. Just as my eyes grew heavy and began to close, my body jolted straight back into high arousal as his tongue stroked my clit. He made lazy circles with his tongue over the swollen bud, bringing me right back onto that wild ride to ecstasy. He pulled back, and my hips rose to follow him and that wicked tongue he’d taken away from me. I groaned in frustration as he dodged my efforts. He leaned forward and licked each nipple.
“You taste amazing.” He gripped my thighs and dove back in. He left nothing untouched, licking and sucking my folds, then latching on to gently suck my clit in between his lips. My hands gripped the sheet as I came harder than before. At the sound of my first scream, he pushed a finger into me and I ruptured anew. I felt my muscles tightening around his finger as he maneuvered it in and out, still gently lapping up my come.
Spent. I was totally and completely spent, and I hadn’t even fully had him yet. The bed shifted as he climbed off, and I watched him as I tried to catch my breath. He quickly removed his shirt and jeans while I took in the sight of his sculpted body. His fingers slipped into his boxer briefs, and I sat up on my elbows, excitedly watching him reveal this part of himself.
He pulled them down his lean, muscular thighs, and his thick member jutted out proudly. He wasn’t scarily long, but he was frighteningly thick. A nervous shiver passed through my body when I thought of how wide he’d stretch me. And how will it feel with that piercing?
The men I’d slept with before him were quickly appearing to be over-aged boys in comparison. I was doing exactly what he said I would. I was comparing him to the other men I’d been with and finding them lacking. It seemed he’d already ruined me without even fully possessing me.
As he climbed onto the bed and crawled between my thighs, I noticed the tattoo I couldn’t completely see before. Right on his hip was a crescent moon etched in black ink. “Is that…?”
Oh my God! He has a tattoo of the moon? My moon. How did I not notice that before?
I reached out, running my hand over the dark design. It was almost exactly like the one I wore on my necklace, except his moon looked like puzzle pieces put together.
“Why’d you do this?” I looked up at him, my head swimming with questions.
“Can we talk about it later?” He was completely riveted by the moisture between my legs. He ran a finger across it, and I shivered.
“Can we talk now?” If that tattoo meant what I thought it did, we needed to talk immediately. He looked at me, then resigned.
“Honestly, I couldn’t stop thinking about you after that night in the ocean. It felt right.”
“Why is it like a puzzle?”
“You told me Alec thought you were his moon, but that night you were shattered. The tattoo is the pieces of you put back together.”
What? I mean… wow.
His eyes were serious as he leaned over me and grabbed a condom off the nightstand. “I need to get inside you, Lexi.”
He was desperate to claim me, but that tattoo really shook me. All this time I thought I was an afterthought to him. It seemed I was as much on his mind as he’d been on mine. He tore the packet open and began rolling the latex down his shaft.
His warm skin covered mine as he lay over me. I felt him nudging at my center, and I tensed up. He looked into my eyes, placing a soft kiss on my lips. “Don’t be scared, baby. I’ll take care of you.” In that instant, fear overwhelmed me. Not a fear of anything physical, but of the emotions that swelled in my heart. In his eyes, I’d seen and felt something I’d hidden from for years. I was terrified of the possibility of being hurt in a deeper way than physically. This man would make me want more.
He’d already made me feel more in this last week than I’d felt in three years. I knew if I let him take me this way, he’d consume my life. I’d want to feel the myriad of sensations he could coax out of my body every single day. His five-o’clock shadow grazed my face as he nuzzled my neck, and his thick shaft pressed at my entrance.
“Stop,” I whispered, causing his body to freeze up and his head to rise. His expression was hungry as he stared down into my eyes. His blue eyes were small slivers under his heavy lids as he fought to restrain himself.
“What’s wrong?”
I shook my head against the pillow and pushed against the tense muscles of his chest. “I can’t.”
“Talk to me, Lexi.”
“I just can’t.” He looked into my eyes with longing, sighed heavily, and rested his forehead between my breasts.
“Give me a minute,” he murmured against my skin. His shallow, steady breaths caressed my hardened peaks, and I fought the urge to push my hips up and let him sink all the way in. When he finally pulled away and swung his legs off the bed, my pussy protested and called me all kinds of names for letting the one man I knew would show me paradise walk away.
I ignored all the messages my body was sending me and used my head to formulate an escape plan. My dress was ripped down to my midsection, so there was no way I could leave here like this. The sound of the water running in the bathroom meant I’d have a few minutes to change, grab my things, and get out of here without an uncomfortable conversation. I jumped off the bed and grabbed his T-shirt off the floor, tugging it over my head. I found a pair of sweatpants I’d left on the bed earlier and pulled them on. As I balanced on one foot to put on my shoes, I stumbled backward, bumping against a hard wall of muscle. The shower was still running, so I guessed he hadn’t gotten in yet.
“Leaving without saying goodbye?” he growled into my ear, his hand at my midriff pulling me back to him.
I spun around and wished I hadn’t. He was still in all his naked glory with an angry hard-on that really needed to be tended to. After the two amazing orgasms he gave me, I felt awful leaving him in this state. I wanted to put him in my mouth and relieve his pain, but if I did, I’d be too far gone to stop things from going further. Everything about this man was addictive, and I knew his taste on my tongue would never be erased.
He reached out, running his hand through my hair, and then his grip tightened as he brought my face within an inch of his. “Don’t go anywhere. We need to talk. If you’re gone when I get out, I’ll find you and drag you back.”
“Ryder, I don’t think I should stay. Maybe we both need some space.”
He leaned in and ran his nose over my neck, breathing me in.
Why does he have to be so intense and compelling?
Goose bumps covered my skin as his tongue flicked out and teased the skin underneath my ear.
And utterly seductive.
“I need you here.” His voice was husky and heavy with lust. “Don’t. Go.” Just as abruptly as he showed up, he turned and disappeared through the bathroom door. Against my better judgment, I got back into bed, but knew I was too wound up to fall asleep.
Chapter Nineteen
Ryder
Before I even opened my eyes, I knew she was gone. The warmth of her body was missing, and I was sure I wouldn’t find her anywhere in the apartment. What happened the night before was untamed, wild, and maybe a little alcohol induced. I’d been battling against what I felt for her for a long time.
I managed to convince her to stay the night, but she was so quiet and stiff I knew we’d hit a brick wall. I wasn’t even sure if I could be angry she’d run off before the sun came up, because the connection I felt with her scared me, too. I’d gotten myself into a situation where something beautiful could turn into something ugly and destroy both of us.
I went down to the gym, thinking I would chase away my problems with Lexi
with vigorous exercise, but instead, I walked into disaster. My heart plummeted, my breathing stopped as I looked on. One of the huge windows at the front of the gym was shattered. It was still together, but the ribbons of tangled lines made it apparent someone had tried to smash it. The other window wasn’t cracked, but something was written on it. A few of the fighters who arrived before me were discussing it. When I walked in, they turned silent, everyone watching me, waiting for a reaction.
I dropped my bag and walked straight out the door. On the outside, it looked worse. The words ‘she’s a whore’ were spray-painted on the glass. Fire boiled in the pit of my stomach. I wanted to kill someone. I wanted to grab whoever was responsible and smash their head against the shattered glass. The thought of someone threatening me and then hiding enraged me.
Ty stepped out the doors and hissed. “Damn…” He looked at me with a nervous gaze. “You all right?”
“Fuck no! Do I look all right to you?” Unfortunately for Ty, he always took the brunt of my agitation. “Lexi walks out on me last night, then I come down here and have to deal with this shit. The pussy wasn’t even man enough to say it to my face.”
“Why don’t you let me handle this?” I let him. I walked away from the building because I needed some air. By the time I got back, Ty had already filed a report and called someone to come out and fix the windows. It would take three days to repair, and I knew every day I had to look at it would piss me off that much more.
“Let’s go for a run,” Ty said as soon as I stepped in the gym. The crisp morning air and the burn in my muscles should’ve been helping get my mind off everything, but it wasn’t working.
“She’s breaking me apart,” I heaved as Ty and I ran up the hill. Ty paused and then doubled up to catch up with me.
“You think this is funny?” I frowned at his amused face.
He shook his head before saying, “There’s nothing funny about love and the pain that comes with it, but it’s a little amusing to watch it happen to someone like you.”
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