“I didn’t give a fuck if you were thirty. I wasn’t going to spend the night trying to get a bunch of horny guys to back off.”
“Well, you ate dirt for it.” I’d wrestled him down and actually managed to hold his head in the sand for a couple seconds. It was amazing how strong you got when the guy you loved pissed you off.
“I let you drop me.”
“No, you didn’t. I took you down, Ryder Hayes, and don’t you forget it.”
“Baby, you can take me down whenever you want. I’ll even let you tie me down and have your way.”
“Really?” I sat up and looked at him excitedly.
“But only if I get to tie you first.” He laughed at my eagerness.
“You’re so unfair.” I shook my head at him for crushing my fantasy with his. I dropped my head back down on my pillow, and he scooted in closer.
I’d fallen asleep until I felt Ryder pulling away from me and getting out of bed. It was dark and quiet, but it was still pretty early. “Where are you going?”
“I have to make a few phone calls and make sure we’re all set to go home tomorrow. The reception is pretty bad up here, so I’m going to step outside for a minute.”
“All right, baby.” He kissed my forehead and left. The bed still smelled like him, so I buried my face in it and dozed off again.
He woke me when he came back. I felt him standing over me, thinking. I wondered what had him so deep in thought. I opened my eyes and turned toward him. Noah… why would Noah be—oh shit. His face brought back flashes of the night I fell. He was angry. I’d fought him. He’d pushed me. He pushed me!
I saw him moving in closer in the dim light but was slow in reacting. A pillow covered my face, smothering me. I panicked. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t call out for help, and I was sure I was making the situation worse by thrashing, but I had to fight. I clawed at his hands, but he was a strong man, and I only had one good arm.
All of a sudden, I could breathe. I gasped and sputtered like a fish out of water. I heard a commotion in the room. “I’ll fucking kill you!” Ryder screamed as he slammed his fist repeatedly into Noah’s face.
Before I really grasped everything that was happening, people were running into the room and the fight was separated.
“He was trying to kill her—let me go! I’m going to finish that son of a bitch.”
“The whore deserved to die. They all do,” Noah cried out as they restrained him.
Cops were called. Noah was handcuffed, and Ryder was taken to the police station for questioning. The police took my statement and told me they’d get back to me about what charges Noah would face.
Mom came back shortly after, because Ryder called her on his way to the station. David was with Ryder, and I was glad Ryder let him be there for him. I knew he was furious, and maybe, just maybe there was still hope in repairing their relationship.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Ryder
I can’t believe she’d been with that bartender and never told me.
The night I went to talk to Logan, I’d sensed Noah had a thing for Lexi, but I never realized he’d already been with her. Just thinking about it made me want to pull him out of his cell to go a few more rounds.
The asshole confessed to everything. He admitted to vandalizing Lexi’s car after he’d watched her leave with me. He was even responsible for the spray paint on the gym window. The man was disturbed, and I didn’t know how Lexi hadn’t sensed his crazy in over a year of knowing him. He’d been stalking her. He’d even watched her the night she walked back to my place from the bar. If anything had happened to her that night, it would’ve been my fault for letting my anger rule me.
David pulled up in front of the hospital. He’d waited for me at the police station and talked me down from my heightened level of rage. I wasn’t leaving that station until I knew that bastard wasn’t going to get bail and go after Lexi.
David took me to the house afterward, and I grabbed our bags. He drove to the hospital to pick up Lexi so we could head to the airport. The faster we got the fuck out of Vegas, the quicker we’d leave all this bad shit behind us.
“Thanks,” I said as I reached to open the door.
“Anytime, Ry.” I paused when he called me by my childhood nickname. I glanced at him, and he looked nervous but kept eye contact.
“I missed you, Dad,” I admitted. Saying it was a lot easier than I expected, and actually meaning it lifted a weight off my chest. I had no more fight left in me when it came to David. Uncle Drew was right; my anger kept me from seeing David as a man, not some kind of paragon to look up to. He’d made mistakes, and it wouldn’t be right if I continued blaming him when I’d made a shitload of mistakes. It seemed for me and my dad, falling in love with the Cole women was inescapable. We just needed to learn to stop fighting against it and let them have the hearts they already owned anyway. David appeared shocked by my words but recovered quickly.
“You know, no matter how I feel about Vanessa or your mother, you’re my son. And my love for you never changed.”
I nodded. “Well, I’m a temperamental asshole, but no matter how angry I was… I always knew that.” I smiled as I opened the door and stepped out right after I saw a huge grin spread over David’s face. We were going to be all right. It was just going to take some time.
I swiftly navigated the halls to Lexi’s room. When I pushed the door open, she was throwing things into a small bag with one hand.
“It seems like you’re a danger zone. I’m going to have to spend the rest of my life fighting to keep you alive,” I said with a smile on my face. I was glad I had time to calm down and was joking about it. The night before, I was angry at Noah, but I was also pissed Lexi never mentioned him.
“What happened at the station? Did they tell you anything about Noah?”
“Turns out your boyfriend—”
“He was never my boyfriend,” she corrected as I held the door open for her.
“But he was something to you?” I raised an eyebrow in challenge.
She nodded as we continued down the hallway. “Yeah, he was something, but he hasn’t been in a while.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about him?”
“As if you would want to hear about anyone I’d slept with.”
“I don’t, but when someone’s bashing in your car windows, it would be good to know all the suspects.”
“Noah never crossed my mind. I mean, it was always casual between us. We had an understanding, or at least I thought we did.”
“Well, his real name is Nolen. He moved to California from Texas. He apparently killed his longtime girlfriend, Hannah, when she left him for another man. There’s a warrant out for his arrest, and he’ll probably be extradited to face those charges after the Vegas court system is done with him.”
She stopped walking as we stepped out of the elevator and stared at me, a bit dazed by the massive amount of information I’d just dumped in her lap. “He’s a murderer?” she whispered.
“Looks like you were right about Logan, though.” I took her hand and continued down the hall.
“Yeah, Logan may be a cheating asshole, but he’s no psycho killer.”
“I’m still not on board with that friendship.”
“Logan’s harmless. He even came by a few days ago and told me he hopes you keep me happy.”
Now I stopped walking and looked down at her with a frown on my face. “He came here?”
“Yeah, he heard about what happened and wanted to make sure I was all right. He waited until you left so you two didn’t get into another altercation. He told me about the alleyway incident, by the way.”
“He’s still sneaking around my girlfriend. I definitely don’t like him, killer or not.” I threw an arm over her shoulder as we walked out of the hospital, hoping to leave behind all the turmoil that followed us there.
Epilogue
Alexis
I’d never become accustomed to being in the arena during a c
hampionship fight. This time we were in the Baltimore arena, and there was a massive turnout. Not long after we got home from Vegas, Carter joined a new training camp and challenged Ryder for the title. The rigorous training began again, but this time Ryder was more severe. This battle was personal, even though it was being put on display for the public.
Turned out Leah never stopped seeing Carter. She really was pregnant, and the baby was his. They’d become a couple, but I always got the feeling Carter was only trying to make Ryder jealous whenever we’d run into them. The fight was inevitable. Those two men needed to get into that cage and prove who the best fighter was once and for all.
What a difference six months made. Life had settled down. No more vandalism. No more Leah pushing her way into Ryder’s life. Even Logan had been off the radar.
David was sitting next to me, nervously tapping his foot. He was completely tenderhearted when it came to Ryder. We often spent Sunday afternoons with him and Mom, and they were a lot more relaxed around each other.
Ryder had been so busy during the last week we’d barely seen each other. Media Day had been hectic. Since this was the third time Ryder had been challenged for the title, the media went crazy covering all the details of the fight. It wasn’t long before they zeroed in on our relationship, and more specifically, my past.
It was a shit-storm. There were stories of my being unstable, how I caused him to pull out of the championship years ago, and they even got witness statements saying I’d jumped from the terrace in Vegas.
Ryder had been uncontrollable in his anger. I couldn’t calm him down once the stories started pouring in. He’d considered retiring, but I wasn’t having it. To pull out would’ve made him seem weak. Especially since Carter had already challenged him. I explained to him that I wasn’t frail. I could handle whatever the press threw my way, but what I couldn’t handle was Ryder giving up his dream for me.
The stories died down in the following months but resurfaced once Ryder and I arrived here for the fight. There were jokes about how I’d handle my boyfriend losing the title and how they hoped the hotel didn’t book us in a room past the second floor. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt to be the brunt of the joke, but I had to be strong. Ryder would pull out of the fight without a second thought if I got overwhelmed.
The contender’s back was slammed into the mat, and I held my breath. His opponent wrestled with him as he took a shot to his face. His opponent got his arm wrapped around his neck, and minutes later, it was over. The contender tapped out, and I surged to my feet as Jacob was announced the winner.
I screamed and shouted as Jacob hopped around the cage. He’d been picked up by UFC months ago, and this was his first fight. After Leah moved in with Carter, Jacob got his own place a few blocks down from the gym. Ryder wasn’t too ecstatic we remained friends, but he wasn’t so jealous because Jacob had toned down the flirting. I turned my head, and my eyes fell on Leah who was seated a few rows back. She rubbed a hand over her extended stomach and smiled slightly before looking back to Jacob as he exited the cage.
A few short minutes later, Carter was announced, and I sneered as he made his way to the cage. Carter made my skin crawl. I wasn’t fond of Leah, but I didn’t wish Carter on her. The man was a creep. They lived way too close to us, so I was constantly running into him, and he made it obvious he’d do anything to get me away from Ryder. He’d propositioned me in so many different ways that I expected something new every time, and he didn’t fail at the challenge.
When Ryder’s name was called, my eardrums almost ruptured from the thunderous roar. As usual, he was calm, collected, and entirely focused. Me? I was literally at the edge of my seat when the bell dinged.
They squared off, danced around a bit, and then Carter went in with a right hook and several other blows Ryder easily deflected. Ryder watched him. His eye was sharp and his moves were viciously calculated, whereas Carter was hostile but thoughtless in his demeanor. He was too eager for the win, but Ryder was driven.
Carter took a jolting blow to the face but reciprocated with a head kick. I gripped my chair and held my breath. Ryder seemed unfazed by the kick as he continued to advance on Carter.
I couldn’t take much more, and I didn’t have to. Ryder hit Carter with an uppercut, and blood poured from his mouth. Ryder held him at the back of his head, raised his knee, and it connected with Carter’s nose. I flinched from the amount of blood covering Carter’s face, but Ryder wasn’t done. The attack continued as he got Carter backed up against the gate.
Ryder’s fist connected with his face over and over. And though Carter was an asshole, I could barely watch the beating he was taking. Carter stumbled and fought to keep his arms up to deflect the blows. I prayed he’d just drop, and he did. He fell to the mat in a heap, but Ryder didn’t relent. The ref pulled Ryder back, and he stood in the middle of the cage, spread his arms out, and let out a roar that could be heard over the crowd’s chants of, “Hawk, Hawk, Hawk.”
My Ryder was always at his best when he was in his element. He was a beautiful hulk of a man, and my heart swelled knowing he was mine. He scanned the crowd and stopped when he found me. He pointed and mouthed, “For you.”
Ryder hadn’t been happy Carter was hitting on me. If it hadn’t been for this upcoming match-up, he’d have bashed Carter’s face into the ground already. It took some convincing, but Ryder realized he needed trust me to keep Carter at a distance and wait for his chance to tear him to pieces. And he’d done just that.
I glanced back at Leah, and she wasn’t looking my way, but a smile played on her lips. I couldn’t really understand the smile since her boyfriend was still laid out on the mat. Hopefully this would get them to back out of our lives, because the last months had been way too full of Carter and Leah. I was ready for more Ryder and Lexi without them as a distraction.
It seemed like Ryder was trying to hold on to the belt until he couldn’t fight anymore. Everything was lining up for us. I went back to school, and I was working on my marketing degree. A position opened up at the advertising firm where I’d interned, and I actually landed the job. Shelby thought it was ridiculous that I wanted to work when I had Dad’s inheritance, but I’d sat home and sulked for three years. It was time I lived life, so I took the bull by the horns and rode it. Harder than ever before. I did it for my mom. I did it for Ryder. I did it for the memory of my brother, but most importantly, I did it for me.
After the fight, we spent the night cooped up in the hotel room. Ryder didn’t rent out a house and refused to throw an after-party. He took me hard, then slow, and made sure I knew no matter how many people screamed his name, the only scream that mattered to him was mine when he ravaged me over and over.
It was a long flight back to California, and when we got there, we collapsed in the bed, exhausted by the last few months. In the morning, he woke me and told me to pack for a light vacation but wouldn’t tell me where we were going.
“So where are we going?” I nagged as he pulled out of the garage.
“We're going to the beach.”
“Really?” I asked, unenthused. We lived in California, and the water tended to be cold. Besides, we had access to a private beach at Mom’s house.
“I’m taking you to a private island where I can keep you naked all day long and not have to worry about anyone hearing you screaming.”
“You’re insatiable.” I scolded him, but I loved the idea.
“With incredible stamina,” he pointed out with a confident smile.
“Babe, as much as I appreciate the gesture, you cannot afford this on a fighter’s salary.” Professional MMA fighters made nowhere near as much as professional boxers, so I didn’t want him to overextend himself.
He glanced at me and shook his head. “You don’t know what I can afford. Uncle Drew taught me how to invest wisely from day one. I own that gym free and clear and also have some other pretty smart investments going on the side. So don’t think because Daddy left you a fortune, we
’ll be going Dutch on vacations or anything. Ever.”
“Okay.” I shrugged. I just didn’t want him to think he needed to impress me with money, but it seemed he had everything under control. “Can we make a stop first?”
“Sure,” he said, following the directions I gave him. When we parked, he realized what I was doing and looked at me nervously. “Are you sure?”
I nodded, and he helped me out of the car but stood at a slight distance as I leaned down and brushed my hand over the etched words on the smooth stone.
Alec Cole Jr.
“I miss you.” I started with a broken breath. I didn’t want to get too choked up, but it was harder than I’d expected.
“I wish you were here every day. It feels wrong to be happy again without you, like I’m cheating on our memories, our bond. It’s illogical, I know, but you were always the rational one. You balanced me out.
“Maybe one day we’ll be together, and I’ll feel complete again. I know I’ll always feel this empty hole in my chest, but some days it doesn’t seem like a dark abyss anymore. I was afraid it would suck me up into its depths until there was nothing left of me.”
I pulled on the little weeds growing around the stone. “I think you’d want me to be happy. Love again. Maybe one day I’ll have a little boy, and he’ll have your smile and fantastic hair.”
I choked on my laugh as tears ran down my face. “Oh, and you wouldn’t believe who I ended up with.” I looked back and smiled at Ryder as he blushed. He actually blushed. I guess he was a little bashful when listening in on our private conversation. I turned back. “You always did tell me he’d come back when he was ready.”
I wiped the tears away and held a palm to the cool stone one last time. “I love you, Alec. I don’t know how to say goodbye forever. You’re me and I’m you. I’ll live for you… I’ll live for us.”
I got up and dusted off my hands before Ryder grabbed them and pulled me close. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I think he’s happy I’ve got you now.”
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