Breakaway

by Deirdre Martin

  “So are you!”

  “I love this,” Rory said, playfully biting the tip of her nose. “Our first post-sex spat.”

  “Not a spat. A disagreement.”

  “Ah.” He became reflective. “So we’re agreed? We’re back together?”

  “I already told you we were!” Erin shifted her weight beneath him so that she didn’t feel quite so pinned. Despite being on his elbows, Rory was a big man. Still, she wouldn’t change being beneath him for anything.

  To her great surprise, Rory looked relieved. “There’s that settled, then.”

  Erin was mildly insulted. “Do you think I’d sleep with you if it didn’t mean we were back together?”

  “No. Not your style.”

  “Exactly.”

  “Say the words, though. Say, ‘I love you, Rory.’”

  Erin’s eyes began to fill up. “I love you, Rory,” she whispered.

  “And I love you, Miss Erin O’Brien. I swear to God, I will do everything in my power to love you the way you deserve to be loved, to protect you from harm, to never hurt you, and to make you happy. I’m not a perfect man, I know. But I’m the man who loves you.”

  “I’m so happy,” said Erin, sniffling as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

  “I feel like I’ve just said my wedding vows,” Rory joked.

  “I know.”

  “We’ll figure out soon when to do them for real, yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  It was really going to happen, Erin thought deliriously. They were going to marry. There really was such a thing as fate.

  “Not that I don’t love lying atop you in the backseat of an SUV, but I’m thinkin’ we might want to get dressed and resume your lesson.”

  “No,” said Erin resolutely. “No more lessons for today.”

  “I think I’ll drive back into town buck naked.”

  I dare you, Erin wanted to say. But she knew Rory would take the dare.

  “I’ll walk, then.”

  “Ah, you’re no fun.” He slithered down her body till he was standing, and took her hand, helping her out of the car.

  “Ballycraig’s Adam and Eve.”

  Erin smiled. Perfect day. Sun, and the lazy hum of bees, which she’d failed to notice before. And Rory’s beautiful body in the sunshine. She changed her mind.

  “Go on. Drive into town starkers.”

  Rory looked pleasantly surprised. “Seriously?”

  “Seriously. Who’s going to see you? The windows are tinted.”

  “I’m not driving back into town starkers by myself. I want my naked queen beside me.”

  “All right,” Erin agreed. Every day, little by little, she was chipping away at the good-girl facade. It dawned on her that their split really had helped her in many ways. She hadn’t really felt like a woman before the split. She’d still felt like a girl. Rory Brady’s girl. Now she was her own person. She didn’t need to be with him to feel complete.

  Naked, laughing their heads off, they headed back into town.

  “This is so daft. I love it!”

  “We used to do stuff like this all the time,” Rory reminded her, squeezing her bare thigh. “And we’re gonna keep on doing it till we’re old and gray.”

  “Promise?”

  “Promise.”

  24

  Nothing could steal Erin’s joy as she let herself in to the B and B through the kitchen door, or so she thought until she saw Diana Everett sitting at the table, stiff backed and poker-faced.

  “Hey, you all right?” Erin asked, even though she knew the answer.

  “No. We need to talk.”

  Erin sat down. “What has she done?”

  “What hasn’t she done?” Diana said bitterly. “My workday never ends. She keeps coming up with more and more things for me to take on. She thinks I’m her personal slave. I know she’s a tough nut, but if I didn’t know better, I’d swear she was trying to break me.”

  “She probably is,” Erin agreed gloomily.

  Diana looked at Erin uncomprehendingly. “But why would she do that? I’m not a mad egotist, but I think she’s lucky to have me.”

  “Oh, believe me, she is.”

  “Then why is she doing what she’s doing?”

  “Because she mistakenly thinks that if you quit, I’ll rush in to help again.”

  “And if I do quit?”

  Erin’s heart sank. “Please, Diana, don’t. I swear I can make things right. Just give me a chance to talk to her.”

  “Fair enough. One chance. But if it doesn’t work, I’m afraid I am going to have to quit, Erin. Life’s too short, if you know what I mean.”

  “I do,” Erin said. “If you’re done for today, then go. I’ll handle my mam. Truly.”

  “Thanks so much.”

  “Things will be better when you come in on Monday, I promise. Now off with you. Go enjoy the sunshine while it’s still here.”

  * * *

  Erin waited until the evening to have the chat with her mother. She’d had a feeling all along she was going to have to do this, even though Erin had told her mother flat out that she wasn’t going to ever come back to work at the B and B. Her mam was banking on Erin’s guilt kicking in. Too bad that particular well had run dry.

  Her parents were in their cozy flat, watching the latest episode of Time Team. Her father was already slack-jawed and asleep in his recliner, as was often the case. Her mother sat on the couch in her puffy pink bathrobe, sipping Horlicks.

  “Hello, love,” she said to Erin quietly. She gestured at the telly with her mug. “You’ve come in just in time for a new one. Mick and Phil think they might have found the remains of an eleventh-century monastery in Sark. Tony is skeptical. Of course.”

  “Mam, all they ever seem to do is find remains of monasteries.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “I need to talk to you.”

  Her mother patted the empty space beside her on the couch. “Sit. We’ll have a good chat at the commercial break.”

  “No, now,” said Erin, taking care to be firm but not bossy. “You know I wouldn’t bother you during Time Team if I didn’t think it was serious. Just record it; you can finish watching it later.”

  Her mother picked up the remote. “I’m not really sure how to work this thingy.”

  “Hang on.” Erin took it and set the DVR to record the rest of the show.

  “There we go.”

  Her mother looked anxious. “Are you sure that works?”

  “Trust me, it will, okay? You should just have Da teach you. It’s simple.”

  “Ah, I’ve got enough clogging up my brain without adding all that technology to it.”

  “Suit yourself.”

  Her mother rose, following Erin downstairs to the kitchen. As always, Erin was creeping down the steps quietly, so as not to disturb any of the older guests who might already be in for the night.

  “Cold in here,” her mother said, rubbing her arms as she sat down. She was right—it was a bit chilly. Erin turned up the heat.

  “Better?”

  Her mother took a sip of her Horlicks. “Yes. So what’s the big hullaballoo?”

  “It’s not a hullaballoo. It’s a mystery.”

  “Oh, I like mysteries.”

  “Well, you won’t like this one, trust me.”

  Erin sat down beside her.

  “Here’s the mystery. Why are you trying to drive Diana to quit when I’ve told you I’m not going to replace her?”

  Her mother pulled a face. “I don’t like her.”

  “What’s not to like? I saw how hard she worked when I was showing her the ropes, and so did you. She even had that letter of recommendation from the last B and B she worked at.”

  “She’s not family,” her mother maintained stubbornly.

  “Dad’s apprentice isn’t family, either.”

  “That’s different.”

  “How?”

  Her mother got defensive. “I don’t know, but i
t is.”

  “That’s not a very good answer.” Erin was suddenly thirsty and went to the fridge to get some ice water. “Could you give me a better one?”

  Her mother sighed. “I told you ages ago. Your da and I bought this place as a family investment. It should be family running it.”

  “And I told you ages ago that I had no intention to stay in Ireland.”

  Her mother shook her head obstinately. “I’m still not getting that one, Erin. If you just took your eyes off your studies a minute, you’d see—”

  “I’m back with Rory.”

  “Please tell me I’m getting all addlepated and I didn’t hear that.”

  “We’re back together. We’re getting married. We’re going back to New York at the end of the summer.”

  “I didn’t raise you to be stupid. That boy—”

  “He’s not a boy; he’s a man. And I’m not stupid.”

  “What fool would take Rory Brady back after what he did to you?”

  “A forgiving one. One who believes everyone deserves a second chance.”

  “And what if he does it again?” Her mother looked anxious as Erin slid back into her chair.

  “He won’t.”

  “You don’t know that. A leopard can’t change its spots.”

  “Really? So Da still gets off-his-face drunk every weekend?”

  It was dangerous territory, Erin knew, but she needed to go there to make her point. For years her da was a heavy weekend drinker. Say the word, Erin, don’t pussyfoot around it. Alcoholic. It finally came to an end when he got in a fistfight with her brother and near demolished him. The next day her father had stopped drinking completely. He never touched another drop.

  “That’s different,” her mother repeated.

  “No, it’s not, and you know it.” She put her hand atop her mother’s, surprised by how loose and dry the skin felt. “Why can’t you just be happy for me?”

  Her mother’s expression was hard. “Family should always come first.”

  “I disagree,” Erin replied, shocked to find a sense of nervousness creeping in. “I love my family, but not at the price of my own happiness.”

  “Your father’s going to go mental when he finds out you’re back with him.”

  “I don’t think he will, because he knows about second chances and he cares about my happiness.”

  “And what’s that supposed to mean?” her mother snapped.

  “I know you love me,” Erin replied, choosing her words carefully. “That’s never been in doubt. But you haven’t always liked the choices I’ve made, because they’re different than choices you’ve made. Just because I want something different from you doesn’t mean I look down on what you do. It’s not a judgment or a rejection of you.”

  “I don’t know as that I agree,” her mother said stiffly as she rose. “Would you mind if I got back to Time Team, love? I know you recorded it for me to watch later, but I’d like to see how it all works out before I go to bed.”

  “Go on,” said Erin, giving up the fight.

  “’Night, love.”

  “’Night. Don’t forget: I meant what I said.”

  Her mother didn’t reply. Whether her mother didn’t hear her or was pretending not to hear, Erin didn’t know. All she knew was that she couldn’t keep twisting her guts into knots over it anymore.

  * * *

  “I expect to see Noah floatin’ by,” Sandra joked.

  “I know,” Erin agreed. She knew the rain would come eventually. This was Ireland, after all. But she was expecting the usual gentle rain, not these great lashings of water pouring down from the skies.

  They were in Sandra’s living room, which was surprisingly clean. “What happened here?”

  “Bored one night. Told Oona I’d give her five euros if she helped me out. She’s golden, that one.”

  “LJ, too, when you think of it.”

  “I know. He’s a good lad, all things considered. He’s gonna be dead depressed when camp is over, but it’s given him confidence to try out for the football team at school.

  “Before you ask, Lucy is at her boyfriend’s. That’s going to end badly, I can tell you. I wouldn’t listen to my mam for shit, and now look where I am.”

  “She’s younger than you were, San. It’ll all sort itself out in the end.”

  Erin tried to hide her amazement at the dusted shelves, the kids toys all tucked up in one corner, the clean rug. It reminded her of when Sandra first married that moron: she was so concerned about being a “good” wife. That faded fast, and a good thing, too.

  Sandra flashed a look of indignation. “You’re a mean one! That text you sent me—‘Hot sex in the car. Back together, more later’—was downright cruel! I sat here all weekend champing at the bit for the details, so you better start talking.”

  Erin told Sandra about the driving lesson, which had Sandra dying with laughter. She was more sketchy about the sex; she didn’t think Sandra needed to know every detail, just the general stuff about how Rory was as skilled as ever.

  Sandra looked envious. “You lucky cow. I might as well sew up my nethers. I doubt I’ll ever get any again.”

  “Don’t be such a drama queen. Doesn’t suit you.”

  “You want it plain? I’m an unemployed woman with no job and four kids. What bloke is gonna want to poke that? Answer: none.”

  “I’m not gonna try to convince you of anything different, because it just goes in one ear and out the other.”

  Sandra looked tired. “Don’t mind me. I’m just in a bad place right now, what with Larry and the money stuff and all that crap. Even this free course…yeah, I’m learnin’ and all, but I don’t quite have a job yet, do I?”

  Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. You’re an idiot, Erin O’Brien. “You’ve got a job right now if you want it.”

  “What the hell are you on about?”

  “At the B and B. The woman there now can’t handle my mam. She’s going to quit this week. I can feel it. You should take the job. My mother knows you, she trusts you, and we can work it out so you’re only there three times a week. Or whatever you want.” Erin was getting excited. “This is so perfect! I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before! I’m such a twit.”

  Sandra pursed her lips. “Hmm. It’s tempting, I’m not going to lie. There’s just one stumbling block as far as I can see.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Your mam knows me, but she doesn’t like me.”

  Erin frowned. “That was when we were younger and she was jealous you were my best mate. She’s gotten over it.”

  Sandra looked doubtful. “If you say so.”

  “I do. Look, you know your way round my mam, just like I know my way round yours. We’ve both been handling them for years. Plus, there’s the added benefit that my mother very much cares about what other people think. If she fires you, a lot of people in town won’t regard that kindly, will they? Everyone knows about Larry and the mess he caused even before he legged it out of here. It’s perfect. Seriously.”

  Sandra looked thoughtful. “I’d want weekends off to be with the kids.”

  “We might have to work around that. Would you be willing to work Saturdays, at least?”

  Sandra hesitated, then nodded. “I would.”

  “We’re all set, then.”

  “Slow down, girl! I do need time to mull this over!”

  “C’mon, San,” Erin implored. “This is so, so perfect.”

  “I’ll give it serious consideration, I swear. Let’s get back to you and Rory. Foregone conclusion you’re back with him, then?”

  “Yeah.”

  Sandra looked sad. “Off to America.”

  “I know. But I was going to do that anyway.” The sadness in her friend’s eyes was contagious. “It’s not like I’ll never come back. My parents are here. You’re here. I’ll visit every year.”

  “Depending on how much money you make, and how many days you get for your holidays, when you find a job,” Sandra
pointed out despondently.

  “Exactly.” God, her exams were just weeks away. She really had to hunker down.

  Sandra managed a tease. “Well, I hope it takes this time with you and Rory. I don’t think I can go through this a second time.”

  “Nor can I. You decide about the job, and then I’ll talk to my mam and get this sorted. In the meantime, let’s go out and have some fun when Gina wakes up.”

  “Ooh, what do you have in mind?”

  “Exotic trip to the green grocer’s.”

  “Count me in, sister.”

  25

  Rory stood in front of a long, rectangular glass case filled with engagement rings and wedding bands. He was at Morgan’s, the jewelry store where Erin used to work. He decided that since they were making a fresh start, he’d ask Erin to marry him again. He brought Sandra with him to help pick out a ring. He still had the original ring he bought that he’d never given to give her, but when he mentioned it to Sandra, she looked at him like he held the title for Stupidest Man on Earth. “New start, new ring,” she’d declared adamantly. “Sell the one you bought first time round quick smart, believe me. You don’t want it hanging round, sending out bad vibes.”

  Rory was confused. “Since when did you care about energy and vibes and all that shite?”

  “I saw a show on the telly. It was amazing.”

  Sandra’s eyes scanned the row of rings. Rory found the selection overwhelming; two minutes and his eyes were already becoming blurry.

  Sandra tapped a luridly purple fingernail atop the glass case. “Can we see that one, please?” She was pointing to a ring with a huge, square cut diamond. The saleswoman smiled and obliged. Rory remembered Erin saying how much she hated helping men looking for engagement rings. “You’ll be standing there for hours,” she said, “and you have to smile the whole time.” Her jaw would hurt by the time she was done.

  The saleswoman handed Rory the platinum ring with the big diamond in the center. He had to admit: it was magical, especially when the light hit it. But it wasn’t Erin.

  “Don’t think so. That diamond’s way too big.”

  Sandra looked at him like he was mad. “What are you on about? It’s a gorgeous ring. She’d love it.”