“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see when we get there.”
When they pulled up in front of a jewelry store. She was floored and didn’t want to get off the bike. “Greg, what are we doing here?”
“You’ll see. Just come on.”
As they walked in, he signaled to a gentleman and the man went to his post and opened a case.
“Day, I know that you have obligations and responsibilities. I know that I was the idiot who let you go. I know that this is probably not something that you particularly wanted to have happen right now, but I know that if I don’t at least do this I am going to hate myself.”
“Greg, what is it that you want to do?”
“Day’ja Renee, I want you to have this ring. It is a promise of my love for you. It is a promise of the life that we should’ve had together. It is a promise of who we have been for the past week and who we were and we will always be if we are supposed to be.” In a whispered, trembling voice he said, “I love so much and always have. I know that you are married, but what we had this week was fantastic and I am not saying that it will always be. I let you slip away before and I am not going to let it happen again. If circumstances change and certain things come to fruition then you know that I am here, waiting.”
“Greg, I can…”
“Day, I don’t want an answer now. I just want you to have this. You don’t have to wear it on your hand. You can wear it on the chain that I bought to go with it. I love you, Day.”
“Greg, I love you too, but I…”
“No, don’t say it. Just take it.”
He refused to let her talk about it. They then said their final goodbyes in the car on the way to the airport. When she got home that evening, there was a message from Brad that he would be home in a couple weeks and that they needed to talk.
He came home and they talked about everything. She admitted to him what happened between her and Greg. She only told him about them having sex not the gory details of the number of times, locations, or even the promise ring. He told her that he and Jasmine had gotten drunk one night and ended up together. He said when she refused to talk with him it happened a couple times more. She yelled and called him names. She said that she didn’t think that she would be able to trust him again, but had to relent because she was still keeping Greg’s promise to herself. They agreed to work on their relationship, but she refuse to sleep with him until he had been tested. He refused for a while, but gave in after a couple days of sleeping next to her naked body and not being able to touch her. Things were good for about a week and then the letter came. Then her missed period, the sudden out of town trip, and then Greg’s visit happened, all in consecutive order.
The letter was addressed to Brad. She always opened his mail, just to make sure it wasn’t some crazed stalker or something. She wished she hadn’t read it at all though. It was from Jasmine. She stated that she’d missed her period and enclosed a copy of a letter from her doctor as confirmation that she was expecting their child. She crumpled it into a ball on the couch. In thinking about their having a child together, she realized that she hadn’t been visited herself. She checked her calendar to see when was her last period and reviewed the time that she was with Greg. She scheduled an appointment that afternoon. She didn’t want to take any chances. Brad came home that evening. They sat in the bedroom with one another after having just had sex. She didn’t know what to say. He had just said that he had to go out of town suddenly and he would return in a couple days. He’d never done that before. They usually had sex before he left especially when it was an extended period of time. It was like a ritual. They went through the motions, but there was nothing behind it. They were both distracted.
“Brad, I need to tell you something.”
“What is it?”
“A letter came for you today.” She pulled the letter out of the drawer. She had attached to Jasmines’ pregnancy results her own pregnancy results. After he finished reading everything, he finally spoke.
“What does this mean?”
“It seems that the girl that you are “dating” and I am quite sure you’re going to see on this “business” trip is pregnant. It also seems that your wife is pregnant and with another man’s baby,” she spat the last statement at him as if she were hurling a knife at his heart and intended to seriously wound him.
You could see the flash of anger that crossed his face. You could tell that he was ready to explode. It was evident that he wanted to unleash the great nocturnal beast that he’d kept under wraps all of this time. He didn’t because he knew that there was an even greater beast beneath her calm exterior that would squelch any fire he unleashed. Fury was replaced with turmoil and then tears streamed from his face.
“How are we supposed to do this? Am I supposed to take care of this child who is in another country? Is he supposed to spend time with his in this house? How do we explain to the kids that…”
“that they have two siblings on the way. One by mommy and one by daddy, but not by them together. I really don’t know. I don’t know how any of this is supposed to be. This is a completely dysfunctional situation”
“You’re tellin’ me. I’m so sorry.”
“I am too.”
“Really, what do we do?”
“I have to tell Greg.”
He left that next morning. She told Greg and he nearly jumped through the phone. He was so excited. She told him that she had a follow up appointment the following week. She’d just gone in for the test the day prior, but the doctor wanted to start her prenatal work up. He said that he wanted to be whatever she needed him to be. She still didn’t know what that was.
She was in the kitchen cooking when her little Melanie came to her and said there was a man at the door. She was surprised to see that it was Greg.
“What are you doing here? You can’t be here. Why are you here?”
“You have a doctor’s appointment today and I wanted to…can I come in or am I going to have to remain on this side of the screen?”
“Uhm…sure. Come in. Why…how did you get my address?”
“Your mom gave it to me after I had to answer several questions.”
“I really have to talk to her,” she mumbled. “I’m making some food. The kids just went up for their nap. My husband…doesn’t even sound right saying it now…is out of town for a couple days.”
“Okay. Why are you so nervous?”
“No reason,” she responded before she thought about the question. “I’m not nervous. Do I seem nervous? I guess I am just shocked you’re here.”
“I had to come and see you and to be perfectly honest my manhood…”
“Don’t say it! I really don’t know what is going on right now. I am still…we are still trying to figure this all out,” she said backing away from him.
“So, my being here complicates things.” With one step he was in front of her, pulling down her panties and undoing his pants, simultaneously. He’d started kissing her before she could protest. She managed to slide away, but not before he’d unhooked her bra.
“Greg, I can’t do this.”
“You don’t love me? You don’t want me just as bad as I want you?”
She tried to look everywhere but at him because there was his heart and everything else exposed. “Greg, as much as I love you and as much as I want you. Oh my God, do I want you. I can’t…”
He was there in front of her again, this time lifting her breast out of her bra and dress and placing her against the counter. He was lifting one leg and inserting himself in her by the time she finished saying how she couldn’t do what he wanted to do. It seemed like they were there forever, but only several minutes had past. Long enough for both of them to orgasm and catch their breath. He told her to meet him at a nearby hotel. He said if he knew nothing else, he knew that she wanted to be with him and her mouth couldn’t protest enough for him not to know the truth.
She went. She was supposed to be going to end thin
gs with him. She was supposed to return the ring. She was supposed to say how she loved her husband and their kids. She was supposed to say that they could be there for their child but that was all that they could be to one another. She had it all laid out. She had planned the words. She’d repeatedly rehearsed them in the car on the way to the hotel. When she arrived at the hotel, she asked the hotel clerk for his information and was handed a key. She went to his room, knocking first. There was no response. So she let herself in. She walked in and took a seat at the table. There were candles and dinner trays. There were flowers for her and the bed was made with rose petals set on top. There was a gown hanging on the back of the door. She nearly cried and got up to leave when she heard the bathroom door open. She turned to look upon a completely naked and very excited Greg. She went to speak the words that she’d rehearsed, but froze. That was his cue. It gave him ample time to get to her and make her forget everything she wanted to say. They made love once and that was all it took to lay them both out for the evening.
He caught her at the door and she looked into his eyes and spoke the words that she hated herself for speaking. She allowed them to be together once more. She went home that evening, showered, and cried herself to sleep. Brad came home that evening and stated that he and Jasmine were over. Jasmine didn’t want to have the baby if he wasn’t going to be around. He went there to tell her that she could just sign over custody to him, but she had already taken care of it. He told Day’ja that he would be there if she chose to have her baby and suggested they see a counselor. He just wanted to know where Greg stood.
Where did she and Greg stand? She’d told him everything, but he still professed his love. She knew she wanted this baby and that Greg was not going to walk away from her or their baby. She knew that she couldn’t be near him and not succumb to him, but she truly felt she wanted to work on being true to her husband. If there were no Greg, then she would do everything in her power to work things out with Brad. Brad said that he wasn’t going to be doing any more movies for a while because his focus was on them and their relationship. Could she honestly return the sentiment? Yes. After all, Brad was her husband and they had both made mistakes. Hers would be a living breathing reminder in a short time coming, but she loved Brad and Greg would have to just deal with her decision.
In their bedroom she stood with the letter that she’d written to Greg and placed the promise ring and necklace in a box to be given to their child at a later date. The letter explained her plans and apologized for any pain it caused him. It also detailed what she and Brad had worked out for visitation. She and Brad agreed that it would be best if Greg picked up the child from her mother’s to limit her interaction with Greg. As she sealed the envelope, she sealed away the feelings that she had for Greg and prepared her mind for the counseling session she had with Brad the next day.
Momma, You are
September 6, 2008
“What?!!” was the only verbalization that I could muster when she told me the news.
“Ms. Tomlinson, if you could…” began Dr. Addison.
“What do you mean? I thought there was something definitely wrong with me and you’re telling me this! Of all things, this!” I interrupted, almost yelling at the good doctor. I had to get up. I had to wrap my brain around what she was telling me.
“Rosaline, I assure you…” she began again.
By this time, I was up, out of my chair, and grabbing the handle to the door with purse and jacket in hand. “There is no way that this could be possible. I would know if something like this…” Tears began to flood my eyes and I knew it wasn’t going to be long before I couldn’t control the flow. So, I walked out the door without another word.
“Ms. Tomlinson, we need to…” I heard her yell after me, but I couldn’t allow myself to stop until I at least made it home. I wouldn’t think of what she told me until that moment. I didn’t count on my phone ringing.
“Rosie, how did it go?” Rachelle questioned. The girl could make a squirrel nervous just by the breath of one word.
“I really don’t…want…to…talk…right…now,” was all that I could get out before I hung up and lost control of my body. The phone immediately rang again. I rejected the call and silenced my ringer before throwing the phone back into my purse. I drove myself home and fell onto my couch, which was where I remained. I sat there on the couch for the rest of the day. The phone rang incessantly. I finally got up to pick up the cordless and check the I.D. to see who called. Rachelle called 3 times. My mother called me twice. Alex called 7 times. Of all the people to call me that many times, I would not have expected it to be him. I wondered why he called that many times, but not enough to call him back. Rachelle would’ve been the one that I would think would’ve blown up my phone. She worries a lot and tends to be even more mothering now that she has children. She usually would be the one that I would share something like this with, but I needed someone who was going to be as shocked as I was and understand how upsetting this is. Especially since this was not the way that my life was supposed to turn out. She would be the one who would try to find the up side of it all. I don’t want to hear that right now. Her and her optimism would drive me to want to shoot myself right now. Chelle believes that since her life is going better that everyone has a chance.
My mother would try and get me to come by her place, sit down, and discuss my options. Her thing now is to try and be a “friend” to me. She wants me to talk to her about every thing and I refuse to have my mother be the one that I share my life and all of its trials and tribulations with. I cannot share intimate details of my life with the woman who gave birth to me. Alex and I have been friends forever and there are still things that I refuse to share with him. Why would she expect me to share anything with her? I know that I can’t talk to Alex or anyone else right now. I am not strong enough to focus on it, myself. I refuse to even try. I need to put it out of my mind for a while.
I made myself something to eat and turned the ringer off. I turned the television on and set up shop to just veg out for a couple days. I had already emailed my co-workers to let them know that I wasn’t going to be in the office for the next couple days. I had my office manager rearrange my schedule and cancel any major functions as well. I wanted to just sit and mope and lose myself in the boob tube for a while. Just as I settled in to lose myself in the abyss I so wanted to create, I heard the click of my locks being unlocked and knew who it was immediately.
“What do you want? Why are you here? I didn’t answer the phone for a reason,” I didn’t want to be around anyone or have them anywhere near me.
“I figured you would probably try this. I also couldn’t handle Rachelle or your mother calling me anymore,” Alex said as he took a seat in the chair and picked up the bowl of popcorn. “So, what are we watching?”
“I was just putting in a Smallville season DVD. Why do you want to watch it with me?”
“Yeah, sure. You know how much I like that kind of stuff.”
“Uh uhn, so you don’t want to talk to me about anything or call my mother or Rachelle and give them an update?”
“No, why? Do you want to talk to one of them or something? Look, if you wanted to talk about it then I wouldn’t have made it across the threshold without you laying me out with whatever the issue is.”
“You know that key was supposed to be used for emergencies.”
“And you don’t call you lockin’ yourself in your home and cutting off all communication with the outside world an emergency. Nobody had heard from you in over 5 hours. You know, in our world that’s cause for alarm.”
“Yeah, if my mom doesn’t get a response after 2 calls, she tends to overreact.” Then it happened. I laughed. It was the first time I’d laughed all day.
“Well, do you want to talk about it or do you want to sit here and watch T.V.?”
“Alex, I don’t think that I am ready just yet.”
“Okay, well, I’m here when you’re ready.”
And
he was. He stayed with me for the rest of that evening and into the next morning. He didn’t leave until I promised that I would meet him for lunch that afternoon.
“If you don’t leave now, then you will never get any work done, Mr. Architect. Let’s make it a late lunch, okay?” I said as I pushed him out my front door.
“Fine, I’ll go. You better be there. It’s your favorite place, so bring your butt.”
“Yeah, I got it. I’ll be there. I have no intention of passing up crab salad. Especially since you’re paying.”
“Hey, I didn’t agree…” I closed and locked the door before he could finish.
“What exactly are you saying Alex?” I could hear the venom spewing from my lips and across the table at him. We were sitting in the bistro having lunch when I shared the news with him. He sat there just as calm and peaceful as if I hadn’t just told him that I was having his baby.
“I’m saying that if you want to have this baby then I would be more than willing to be what I need to be for this child,” he said it and yet I still couldn’t believe that he’d spoken the words.
“So, in spite of the fact that we are not a couple and just friends…by the way how is Sharonda responding to all of this? Wait, before you answer that…you are saying that in spite of all that is going on in our lives and the friendship that we have, you would be willing for me to have this baby and be a father to it?” I couldn’t believe that it could be that simple. It couldn’t be. None of this could be. What would Sharonda think? They had only been going out for a little over 3 months and now he would have to tell her that the best friend that she suspected might be more than a friend actually is. She is now his “baby mama” and would like to leave their friendship just as is, with nothing more.
A Dreamer's Today Page 9