Kym believed that her marriage to Shaun was great with it just being them, but then there was the simple matter of Jared. Jared did things for her that Shaun would never do and was satisfied with them being just as they were. He didn’t pressure her or make suggestions to try and change a good thing. He enjoyed every aspect of her and accepted her for who she was. The up side to him was the fact that he did not want to have anything to do with kids. Nothing! He would like to travel the world some day soon and having a kid or two in tow would be the nut that would throw the whole mechanism off.
These were the things that Kym loved and adored about Jared and not Shaun, but to keep carrying on with Jared the way she’d been for the past 6 months was not going to help her make things better between her and Shaun. She knew that the right thing was for her to go to her husband and work things out. She knew that she should not be so close-minded. A part of her knew this, but there was another part of her that was very defiant. There was that part that screamed that it was her body and she didn’t want to share it with another human being. She wanted to be selfish. She didn’t want to take on that role and that responsibility. She didn’t want that title defining her very existence. Why couldn’t Shaun see that? She liked her body just the way that it was. She enjoyed her curves.
She and Shaun had been unable to be in the same proximity without this discussion erupting into a full-blown argument. Neither of them would budge on their stance at opposite sides of the table. She was finding it hard to even be in the house with him. One day, she was going through some of the many purchases she’d made and that was when she came across a slip of paper that had Jared’s name and contact information. She knew immediately where it came from. She recalled the day 2 weeks prior when the mysterious Italian man took her breath away and invaded her personal space. She was smiling from inside out just by thinking about him. It had been a little over a month since she and Shaun had been together due to the arguments and she was due in the sex department. She mulled it over a bit more and decided that she shouldn’t risk even thinking anymore on it. So, she tossed the paper in the trash.
The evening dragged on and she realized that Shaun wouldn’t be coming home until well into the wee hours of the morning. So, Kym decided to get all dressed up and go out for a while. She tried calling a couple of her friends, but they all seemed to be busy, with their kids, or already out. She decided to go out on her own. She left Shaun a note that said she would be gone for a couple hours and would return soon.
She arrived at a local bar, The Night Tap, and decided she could use a drink. She walked in and sat down at the bar pulling the flap of skirt over her exposed thigh.
“Don’t cover it up on my account. I am actually enjoying the view,” the familiar deep, Italian voice spoke.
“Well, hello again. I wasn’t…I was just…” she started. Why was this man able to do that to her with just a few words?
“Ah, well, what brings you to the bar this evening?” he said as he slid to the stool next to her.
“I just needed to get out for a while,” she said, as the room’s temperature increased a couple degrees.
“Trouble in paradise?” he asked as he slid a drink in front of her.
“Thank you, but no thank you. I don’t know what that is exactly. My marriage is perfectly fine,” she said with as much conviction as she could muster and tried to get the bartenders attention at the same time.
“You don’t trust my offer?”
“I don’t know you.”
He stood and moved behind her stool. He placed his hands on her hips and spun her around to face him on the stool. He then leaned into her and gently kissed her lips. He slid his tongue across them and gently pressed it forward to enter hers. He laced his tongue with hers for several seconds and then released her. He stepped back.
“Now you know me. My name is Jared.”
Overconfident bastard! She lifted her hand in a motion to slap him and he caught it.
“Let go of me,” she said as she tried to pull away from him.
“You know you don’t want me to. You know you enjoyed that as much as I did. If you want more, my address is on the napkin under the drink you claimed to not want.” With that said he walked away, leaving her in utter disbelief of what had corresponded, actually was real. Kym turned on her stool to face the bar again and ordered a drink. The bartender began to take the other drink away and Kym stopped him. She drank that drink and slid the napkin in her bra when no one was looking and placed a clean one under the glass. She paid for her second, but opted not to drink it. She got up and walked to her car.
When she pulled up to the address that was supposed to belong to the Italian that she realized in that moment she didn’t recall his name, she didn’t expect to be in the extravagant neighborhood that he resided in. She also didn’t think she would find such an elaborate home on a grand landscape. She made her way up the circular drive to the marble staircase and rather large glass doors. He was standing in the doorway by the time she got to the doorbell. He startled her.
“Hello…uhm…”
“Jared is my name. It appears I haven’t made enough of an impression on you so that you can recall my name. So, I am glad you decided to join me,” he said gleefully as he swept her up in his arms and carried her into the main entrance, kicking the door closed behind him. He’d made a pallet for them on the floor of the living room and poured two glasses of champagne. He laid her down on her back and then laid himself on top of her. He rested the majority of his upper body weight in his arms.
“What would you like for me to do to you?”
“Uhm, I really don’t know what I am doing here,” she stated honestly as she tried to reposition herself so that she could feel less of him. With every motion she made he repositioned himself to remain in a place where she knew he could feel the heat he was making her feel.
“Do I make you uncomfortable?”
“A little.”
He kissed her neck. “Do I make you feel desirable?”
“Yes,” she stated responding to his lips on her neck.
“Do I make you feel sexy?” he said as his tongue made a line from her neck to the indentation between her breasts.
“Yes,” was the word she whispered!
“Do I make you want to make love to me right here and right now?” he whispered as he nibbled on her ear.
“Yes,” she barely breathed the word. He slowly undressed her and himself and did just that. She awoke the next morning feeling more refreshed and rejuvenated than she felt in a very long time. Then all she felt was remorse. She quickly dressed and ran to her car. She drove home as quickly as she could without killing anyone. When she arrived home, relief washed over her when she saw that the letter sat untouched and the message light was blinking on the machine. Shaun had been called away on a business trip earlier that evening. She wondered how she missed that the day before. She also wondered what she was going to do about her affair with Jared? She knew she couldn’t tell Shaun. She made up in her mind that she just wouldn’t see Jared again.
It would’ve worked too if her mind could just stop replaying the night they shared together. Or even if Shaun were home that evening or the next? By the third evening, she couldn’t take it anymore. She was in heat and her very being was weak. She rummaged through the trash and found Jared’s number. She met him at his house within an hour of her calling him. The pattern was set. Any time Shaun was out of town or away on business in any way, she and Jared would meet.
She was lying next to her husband one night and realized that it was one of those rare occasions that they were in bed together. They’d slept together maybe once every couple weeks. He would come home and they would be together and that was it. In between those moments when they gave in to one another, there was the argument, which would draw them further apart. They became accepting of their aggressive, take the edge off sex and took to barely speaking beyond that. As a result, Shaun spent more time away and she spent mor
e time with Jared.
How could this form of an epitaph be her life?
Shaun and Kym had been arguing nonstop for at least two weeks. It had begun to effect their home and sex life. Shaun recalled that it had been at least a month since he’d been with his wife. If they carried on much longer, it would be even longer. He knew that they didn’t have to start a family right away. He didn’t want to pressure Kym, but she wasn’t budging on the whole “no kids” discussion. He wished he could get a woman’s perspective on the issue, but he knew if he talked to his sisters then they would presume there was an issue between he and Kym. They would be correct, but he didn’t want to give them any more ammunition against his wife. They already couldn’t stand Kym. Why egg them on?
In that moment, he remembered the business card of the gorgeous “table” with the large, beautiful gray eyes. He called her up and they met for lunch. As he sat across the table from her, he was instantly entranced again.
“Hello Ming,” he said taking her hand in his and shaking it.
“Hello Shaun. It’s nice to see you again,” she said as she sat down. When she spoke, a hint of her Asian heritage could be heard.
“You’re probably wondering why it is that I called you,” Shaun stated, smiling at the thought of being so close to someone so timidly beautiful.
“I am, but I have to say that I’m glad that you finally called.”
“I am too. I needed another woman’s honest opinion. I also wanted someone who didn’t know any of the parties involved,” he said, smiling back at her.
“Sounds serious. What’s the thing that you need my opinion on?” she asked, with a hint of curiosity in her voice.
“Well, I wanted to know if a man, a married man wants to have children and the wife does not, I mean is adamant about not having children, how should he handle the situation?” he looked into her eyes hoping for some type of guidance.
“Well, as a female who does want children and doesn’t know any who don’t…wait, how adamant?” she paused and waited for a response.
“Very! He wants children and has wanted them for quite some time, but wanted to give the relationship time to grow,” he said hoping that it wasn’t a dead give away that he was the man in question.
“I am sorry. This may be a hard pill to swallow, but it seems like this should’ve been something that was discussed before the marriage took place. This is something that these two people should have already known about the other. Lastly, if two lions are fighting over a piece of meat eventually, they are going to either tear each other apart or split the meat in two,” she said poignantly and took a sip of her tea.
“Whoa, okay. Point taken,” he said, as he took a sip of his water.
“So, when did you and your wife discover this impasse that you’ve come to?”
He laughed at her quick observation. “About two months ago,” he finally said.
They continued talking over lunch and agreed to meet again soon. Shaun gave her his cell number, under the premise of her possibly ever needing a male friend to talk to. He felt good after talking with Ming. They shared a love of family, especially a large one. They had similar interest in art, music, and business. She was a fascinating woman. He felt right when he was with her. As if they were simpatico.
He went home that evening and a wave of the cold chill that he’d been receiving from Kym washed over him. He found himself wanting to return to that comfortable place he was earlier that afternoon. He wanted to want to be near his wife, but even the motion of coming near her drew him further away from her. She wasn’t that welcoming woman anymore. He turned around and walked back out the door. Shaun dialed his home line and told Kym that he’d been called away on business and he would return as soon as he could.
He fell into Ming’s world that night due to the fact that his wife refused to give him the one thing that he wanted beyond anything else in the world. He was there that one evening because he wanted to let off some steam. He didn’t want to use her, but that was where his mind was that evening. He just needed to be anywhere else, but with his wife. He had enjoyed his prior conversations with Ming on the phone and in the restaurant. He knew that she would be what he needed that evening, a listening ear and a quick fix. He hadn’t expected for it to be an all night conversation between the two of them. They lay together that evening and slept. Nothing else just slept. He awoke the next morning, stopped by the dry cleaners on the way in to the office, and changed. He found himself smiling at the mere thought of her.
He returned to her the next evening. She stood in the door with a smile on her face. She was as excited to see him as he was to see her. He could tell that she had recently arrived home. She stated the night before that the first thing she did upon getting home was shower. She was wearing nothing but her robe when he arrived. There was a chill in the air when he entered. A breeze swept between them and he saw her breasts react, which caused him to react as well. He crossed the threshold into her home, closing the door behind him. He was in her personal space, breathing her in. He took her face in his hands and kissed her eyes, nose, cheeks, lips, chin then neck. He heard her voice, but couldn’t make out the words. He slid his right hand beneath her robe and cupped her left breast, pricking the tip just a bit. He slid the other hand to the other breast, and then took it in his mouth. He slipped her robe off and guided her to the couch and undressed himself. They were there together that evening until the next morning. He spent a half-day at work and replayed the feel of her body over and over in his mind.
He reprimanded himself for thinking of another woman and then being with another woman, a woman that wasn’t his wife. Over time though, he found he wouldn’t admonish the side of him that desired to be next to Ming more than Kym. Over time, it became easier to sneak away and be with Ming. They spent all of his “business trip” time together. He and Kym slept together just so that he wouldn’t feel guilty or neglectful towards her, but it was rare. It usually came in moments of rage. It was more angry sex than anything else. It’d been 6 months since the affair started and he couldn’t bring himself to end the relationship with Ming.
Ming was a loving and attentive woman. She was very nurturing and giving. She lit up his world, but he was married. Kym was the love of his life and made him more than happy, at one time. If she would only be willing to see how wonderful adding to their family unit would be? She hadn’t budged on the whole having a baby discussion. She wanted to globe trot and be “free.” He wanted to take family vacations, enjoy the beauty of being a father. How did we get this far? How is it that we have gotten to the point that we want two totally different things? How did this dichotomy become the plague of his existence?
Kym decided the best thing for her to do was to get away for a while. She needed to be alone and take some much-needed time off. Her job was driving her kind of crazy and she was tired of arguing with Shaun. She needed to wrap her mind around the answer to solve how to deal with the situation they were in. She decided to take a sabbatical from her job and travel to Prague or even Italy. She was with Jared one night telling him that she wouldn’t see him for a while. She wanted some alone time even before the trip to make up her mind. Jared said that he is fine with whatever she needs. He was there if she needed him.
Upon returning home, she is met by Shaun at the door. She notices that he looks distraught. He invites her in and asks her to sit down with him because they need to talk.
“Kym, I love you and I have always loved you,” Shaun says as he sits across from her at the dining room table.
“I love you too, baby. What’s the matter?” she questions noticing that his hands were trembling.
“Kym, we have come to a crossroads. We can either continue in the same pattern of life that we are going or we can try and salvage what is left of this marriage?” he stated this as if he were posing a question to her.
“What are you saying, Shaun?” her heart catching in her throat as he pulled out papers from his jacket pocket.
“A Bill of Divorcement? Shaun, you want to get a divorce?” Kym asked as tears welled up in her eyes. She had never thought that it would come to this between the two of them. She figured it would if Shaun had found out about her and Jared, but she didn’t think that it had. Had he? No, he couldn’t have. He was much too calm about the situation.
“Kym, I didn’t say that, but I can’t keep going the way that we are going. We barely say two words to each other. If we do, then it’s a knock down, drag out, battle royal. I am tired of it, aren’t you?” he asked. His eyes were filled with sorrow.
“Yes, I am. I am just as tired. I just didn’t think that we’d gotten here, to this point” she said as she pointed to the papers.
He looked at her, then at the table. “Plus, I can’t go on living with you and sleeping with another woman. I don’t want to keep dividing myself anymore.”
She was shocked and a flood of anger and resentment moved through her. She caught herself. She realized that she was just as wrong and could not cast any blame towards him because she’d fell into the arms of another, herself.
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