“It certainly looks like a gym,” Janeen said.
“Cafeteria’s just next door where they serve the grossest food in town. You know, you can’t get worse food than at Louisville Elementary. We’re number one on the map.”
Janeen laughed. “Are you always like this?”
“Like what?” Rayleigh asked.
“Nothing.”
“Well, that’s about it. Probably just like the school you came from, huh?”
“Pretty much the same, yup,” Janeen said.
Rayleigh smiled and looked at the clock on the gym wall. It had taken twenty-five minutes to show Janeen the computer rooms, offices, the music room, the art room outside on the east side of the building, and every other room she could think of.
“Are you sad you moved?” Rayleigh asked.
Janeen nodded. “It’s okay, I guess. I miss Nicole. She was my best friend.”
Rayleigh nodded. “You can still call her.”
“Yeah. I can call her, I guess,” Janeen said.
“Where did you come from?”
“Aurora. Dad kept complaining about the drive into work, so we moved here. He works in Boulder.”
“Where at?”
“Flatirons Refrigeration.”
“What is that?”
Janeen shrugged. “Beats me. He fixes refrigerators or something. Heaters, too. Something with heating and cooling.”
“Sounds cool,” Rayleigh said. “I guess.”
“It’s a living,” Janeen said.
“Huh,” Rayleigh said. She drew a circle on the entrance to the gym with the toe of her shoe. “So, you like scary movies?”
Janeen nodded vigorously, eyes widening. “Yeah. But Mom won’t let me watch them.”
“You should come over and watch the Big Chill Theater sometime. You could spend the night. My Mom doesn’t care.”
“That would be cool,” Janeen said. “We can say we’re doing each other’s hair.”
“Good idea. Come on, we should get back to class.”
~
Rayleigh knew the moment they started talking about vampires that she and Janeen were going to be good friends. Someone who enjoyed the same things she did! Although, if Janeen liked vampires as much as she said, how come she didn’t dress like one? Rayleigh wondered if Janeen were going along with everything she said just to be polite.
Their first week, they sat together in class, ate lunch, and spent time on the playground talking about boys and scary movies. Janeen though Harrison Ford in the Star Wars films was a dream. Janeen’s mother came to pick her up after school during Janeen’s first week, and Rayleigh started walking home. Ricky hollered after her, asking her to wait, and offered to carry her books, which he was doing now.
“The new girl seems cool,” Ricky said.
The air was brisk. Clouds moved in, sunlight winking in and out of sight. Laughing, shouting children filled the air, waiting for rides or walking home.
Rayleigh had been ‘going steady’ with Ricky Bradford for two months now. To Rayleigh, it seemed like a lifetime. They talked about when they were going to get married. It was a fairy-tale world, and everything was perfect. She believed she loved Ricky Bradford, and she enjoyed kissing him, even though he tasted like cigarettes sometimes.
“Yeah,” Rayleigh said. “I like her. I think she should come over and watch scary movies. I like to corrupt the innocent.”
“Does she like scary movies?”
Rayleigh nodded.
“How come you don’t invite me over to watch scary movies?” Ricky asked, feigning petulance.
“Are you crazy!” Rayleigh said. “Mom would kill me for even suggesting it. I think she’s nervous you’re still walking me home.”
“Good thing there’s the field and the oak tree.”
Rayleigh looked at Ricky and smiled. “Last one there has to lick Mr. Weis’ jockstrap!” Rayleigh bolted toward the field and the oak tree.
Ricky quickly followed, hampered by all the books. “Oh, man! You’re disgusting!”
~
Rayleigh’s heart beat fast. It was rhythmic, the thrill of first love.
Finally, taking a breath, Rayleigh pulled away. Ricky tried to bring her back, but Rayleigh was firm. “Let’s stop,” she said.
He consented, though a confused look crossed his face. He reached into his backpack and pulled out a pack of Marlboros.
“Ricky!”
“What?” He put one in his mouth and lit it with a Bic.
“How did you get cigarettes?”
“My older brother. He gets them for me sometimes. Want one?”
“No.”
“Are you sure? They give you a buzz.”
“They do?”
“Yeah,” he said. Like a pro, Ricky lit the cigarette, inhaled, and blew out smoke. He handed her one. Rayleigh took it, put it to her lips, and took too deep a drag, which made her hack instantly.
Ricky laughed. “You have to take it slower. Like this. Watch.” He grabbed the cigarette, took a drag, and paused. He sucked air into his lungs and blew out smoke. “See?”
“Give me that!” Rayleigh demanded, wanting to prove she could do it. She took a drag, paused, sucked more successfully, and then blew out. She emitted a single cough.
“Easy,” he said.
“Let me have one. I want to practice.”
Ricky smiled and gave her a cigarette, lighting it.
Rayleigh practiced, coughed, practiced blowing smoke out, then coughed again. By the time the cigarette was halfway done, she had it down.
“You’re a natural,” Ricky told her.
“Smoking’s kinda cool,” she said.
“Yeah. And it kills you quick.”
“Groovy,” she said.
“Totally,” he said, and they started laughing.
She had fallen in love with Ricky all over again. He was a rebel.
“Jesus,” Rayleigh said. “What if my mother smells it?” Her eyes were large and terrified. Even her father wouldn’t let her off that easily.
“I have some gum,” Ricky said, giving her a cinnamon stick.
“Gum’s not gonna do it! I’m gonna have to take a shower!”
“Tell your mom you started your period, and you need to take a shower and do some laundry. It was a bad day.”
“You’re impossible!”
“Do you want another one for later?” he asked.
“Well, duh?” she said. “I’ll just wait a while before I go home.”
Clouds covered the sun, and they continued to smoke in the shadow of the oak tree. Rayleigh thought about Bandit. She leaned her head against Ricky’s shoulder.
“Do you have a buzz?” he asked.
“My head feels all fuzzy.”
“Cool,” he said.
“I feel like I’m gonna throw up.”
“Even better,” Ricky said.
“We should do this more often,” she said.
“Definitely,” he told her.
Shadows failed to emerge, no whispers in her mind. She was surprised she’d had a somewhat pleasant day. For Rayleigh, they didn’t come often.
8.
Book of Poems
“It’s good to see her with a friend,” Dorothy said.
“She’s too pretty to have friends,” Rex said. He was sitting in his favorite chair, the television on.
The workday done, dishes put away, bellies full, the parents of Rayleigh Angelica Thorn sat in the living room discussing their daughter.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Dorothy asked.
Rex grunted, lifted the brandy to his lips, and took a sip.
“Rex! I don’t believe it! You’re jealous!”
Rex looked at the television, face flushed, and shifted in his chair.
“Did you think she would stay Daddy’s little girl forever?” his wife asked.
“Of course not,” Rex said, petulantly. “I think it’s great. I’ve been worried about her. She doesn’t hang around a
ny particular group of people. Have you noticed that? Is she still seeing that boy?”
Dorothy nodded. “As far as I know. Doesn’t that worry you—a girl her age? I thought I smelled cigarette smoke on her jacket the other day. Rex, she’s only eleven.”
“Eleven is the experimental age. She’ll grow out of it.”
“You don’t seem too concerned.”
Rex shifted in the chair again. “Rayleigh’s a smart girl. She knows what’s best. I don’t really worry about her.”
“But you’re jealous.” Dorothy smiled.
“I wish you’d quit saying that,” he said, picking up the remote to divert his attention. “There’s never a damn thing on at night. You’d think a guy could at least get a baseball game after a hard day’s work.”
“Quit avoiding the subject.”
“Okay!” Rex said, fed-up. “I’m jealous. My daughter doesn’t curl up with her dad like she used to. She’s growing up. I knew it would happen. I just didn’t know I’d feel this way when it did. Not like this. Jesus. She’s here every day and I miss her!”
Dorothy smiled and sat on the arm of the chair, putting her arm around her husband. “We could have another little girl,” she said.
“We should have done that a long time ago.” Rex stared miserably at the television, pouting.
“You are the sweetest man I’ve ever known, Rex Michael. And you’re my husband. For that, I'm very proud, and very lucky.”
“Sweet? Why are you doing this to me?”
“Because I never met a man who loved his daughter, Rex, the way you love Rayleigh. It’s killing you she’s growing up.”
“Well, goddamnit! She’s my little girl. She’s not anyone else’s little girl. She’s your little girl, too, of course, that’s okay. But that’s my Rayleigh-girl, and she will always be my Rayleigh-girl, and no one else will ever have her but me. She’s mine-mine-mine!”
Dorothy threw her head back and laughed so hard she started to cry.
“I have half a mind to send that Janeen-what’s-her-name-home.”
“Rex! You’re impossible.”
“I get it from Rayleigh,” he said. “We’re close, she and I.”
“Why don’t you take them to a baseball game or something. The Centaurs are playing now, aren’t they?”
“That piddly high school. They can’t throw the ball more than forty miles an hour.”
“Well, why don’t you take them to a Nuggets game?”
“Rayleigh doesn’t like basketball. She can’t get excited when they score so many times. She yawns through the whole game. And I have to agree.”
“So, you’re just going to sit here and sulk?”
“That was my plan from the start, yes.”
Dorothy leaned over and hugged her husband. “I’m your girl, Rex. I’ll always be your girl.”
“Well, thank God for...”
Not realizing what he was about to say, Dorothy looked at him, mouth agape.
“Uh,” Rex said, trying to save himself. “I mean…yeah…uh…that’s true. Here, come hang out with me.”
Rex grabbed his wife, pulling her off the arm of the chair, and onto his lap. Dorothy laughed and put her arms around her husband’s neck, kissing him loudly on the cheek. Grabbing the remote, he said, “I know there’s a baseball game on this damn thing somewhere.”
~
Every thought of you I see. You are everything to me.
Janeen had already gone home for the evening.
In her room, Rayleigh stared for a second at the Salem’s Lot poster hanging on the wall. An avid video junkie, she frequented Reel-to-Reel, a local video store, and was good friends with Chester Duchense, the sixty-year-old man who owned it. Chester let her rifle through old posters in the storeroom after he took them down. Salem’s Lot had been rolled up in the back collecting dust. Rayleigh had also found a classic Halloween poster, Alice Sweet Alice, and Prom Night. Her mother cringed every time she walked into her room.
Van Halen’s “Running With the Devil” issued from a small radio in the corner. She was fortunate enough to have a thirteen-inch color television, a bargain her mother had found for her at a garage sale. The Big Chill often showed cheesy horror movies, but every now and then, a decent one would air. She hated the censorship, the constant commercials, though, which hardly made it worth it sometimes. Nothing was more infuriating than being engrossed in a movie only to be violently thrown into underwear ads and Palmolive commercials.
Her friendship with Janeen had been a blessing, everything she’d been missing, it seemed. She was excited to have someone to hang out with finally besides Ricky. All Janeen and Rayleigh did was spend time together, helping each other do homework, talking about metal bands, boys, and scary movies. It was everything Rayleigh had been hoping for.
She’d invited Janeen over for dinner after her first week at school, and she got along surprisingly well with Dorothy and Rex. Rayleigh had spent several nights at Janeen’s house as the school year came to a close. Janeen’s parents were okay, Rayleigh thought, but her mother seemed to ooze an air of disapproval whenever Rayleigh was around. Instead, Rayleigh invited Janeen over to her house, where they could watch all the horror movies they wanted.
Approaching the end of the school year and anxious for summer, Rayleigh sat in her room, waiting for The Big Chill Theater to begin.
“And I believe in you, know you, think you’re special.”
It doesn’t matter what happens from here. We’ll begin by shedding some light in this dark corridor. You are, after all, bigger than this.
Whatever, whoever it was, made no sense to Rayleigh. But she heard it quite clearly. She couldn’t tell if it was good or bad. A dark presence came to life in her mind, but she ignored it. Too many good things were happening for her to pay attention: her grades, Janeen, and Ricky.
But whatever it was, wouldn’t leave her alone.
Vampires pried her brain apart. Ghosts whispered in her ear.
You should plan something. Walk through graveyards with Janeen. She’d like that. You would, too. You’re both demented enough. Call it initiation.
“That’s not a good idea. It’s not good enough. But we should do something. Something...wicked.”
You are it, and it is you. Be careful of your dark gift. You don’t know what you’re capable of. It isn’t always what you think. It is much, much more.
“That’s because you’re under the surface. I shouldn’t be listening to you anyway. I am Corona of Blue.”
Her words silenced the voice, whoever it was.
The Big Chill Theater came on. She pressed the stop button on the radio, silencing Van Halen. Rayleigh liked the theme to the Big Chill, Time by Pink Floyd. It was perfect, providing a chilling cinematic ambiance. Rayleigh thought they should use it in every horror film.
She watched, entranced: the girl screaming from Friday the 13th, David Naughton in An American Werewolf in London completing his transformation, Jack Nicholson announcing his return as Johnny, in The Shining. Rayleigh thought the previews to The Big Chill scarier than the actual movies. She never missed the beginning. It was her favorite part.
Breathe into me, and I will breathe into you.
She thought about the voice again, not a witch-like voice, simply madness and inspiration.
Everyone had it.
Didn’t they?
A girl ran terrified through the woods as Jason from Friday the 13th gave chase. Michael Myers sauntered as slow as ever, undeterred. How come Michael, with his snail-like crawl could kill everyone in town except the one girl he was after? Didn’t Michael know how to run?
Rayleigh giggled. Maybe she could be in the movies. She liked the idea, but theater intimidated her, getting up in front of all those people. She would only want to play villains and vampires anyway. Maybe a ghost. She wouldn’t need any make-up. They could just throw her in front of the camera.
Tonight’s creature feature was The Changeling, and her mouth did everything but
hit the floor. She couldn’t believe it!
“I don’t believe it!” she said, aloud, staring dumbly at the television, grinning from ear to ear.
“I don’t frickin’ believe it!” she said, and laughed, hoping her mother wasn’t downstairs doing the laundry. She looked toward the door.
The Changeling was one of her favorite movies. She went to the light switch and turned it off. Only the glow from the television now illuminated the room. The Changeling, after a bout of commercials, was about to start. The looming horror posters in her room seemed to expand with life.
Lying on her stomach, her head at the foot of the bed, she rested her chin in her hands. She reached out to turned up the volume, glued to the opening scene.
She wished Janeen were here. It was Friday after all, and Rayleigh was hoping she could’ve stayed the night. But Janeen and her family were driving to Denver to go to the zoo early tomorrow morning. Her parents had been planning it for weeks. Janeen’s mother wasn’t comfortable letting her daughter stay home by herself either, despite being old enough.
“You’re practically an adult,” Rayleigh had said.
“I know,” Janeen had said, earlier that day. “She doesn’t trust me. She thinks I’m going to throw a big party or something. I’m surprised she lets me come over here as much as she does.”
“Parents are geeks,” Rayleigh said.
“No kidding,” Janeen said.
Rayleigh sighed. Janeen had never seen The Changeling because Rayleigh had asked her about it several weeks ago. Of all things, it was on now.
You can’t go on ignoring me forever. I am too much a part of you. If you’ll ask, I’ll tell. What do you want from me? Just name it.
“I want you to shut the hell up so I can watch this movie,” Rayleigh said.
The voice was playing tricks on her, bombarding her with thoughts of madness, before coaxing her into submission.
She tried to watch the movie, giving it all her attention and tuned everything out but the screen.
Her room brightened. The presence had form, and it showed itself to her now, a barely perceptible circle of blue light hovering under the ceiling.
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