by Alexie Aaron
Mia looked back at the restaurant and sighed.
“What’s the matter, getting cold feet?” Ralph asked.
“No, but I think I better have a cold shower after that kiss,” she admitted. She sat back into the leather seats and sighed again.
“When we get to the hotel, you’re to get a good night’s rest. Tomorrow starts early for the bride,” Ralph warned.
Bernard patted Ralph on the knee. “But not as early as it is for the Man of Honor, I assure you.”
“Ralph, you try your best to reel it in or nobody is going to glance my way,” Mia pouted.
“Oh, you little liar, with that dress, all eyes are going to be on you. And then me, then you, and me again…”
Chapter Thirty-six
The day dawned bright with a cloudless sky. Slightly warmer temperatures than normal were forecast, but a light coat was suggested for the denizens of this foreign state of Illinois. The unfaltering Kansans congregated in the dining rooms of the local motels debating whether the term Indian summer was still politically correct, and if so, where in the GDamn world did it come from? Glenda Dupree was noticeably absent, which eased the backs of some of the older women but caused others to watch their backs. The group would board their buses for the short hop to the Dupage Golf and Hunt Club for the outdoor wedding at 11:30 central standard time.
Ted’s great aunt Mildred sat at a small table with Sheila and Mindy. She ordered a light breakfast sans eggs - she didn’t want to break wind during the service. Sheila was sporting a new hairdo which gave her a youthful appearance. Mindy, following the fashion of her new object of emulation Jennifer Lawrence, had a new pixie cut.
“You look like a boy,” Mildred commented loudly, causing other diners to look their way.
“Mother, it’s style. Leave the girl alone,” Sheila said in hushed tones.
“Who are you to talk about style, sitting there mutton dressed like lamb,” Mildred sniffed.
Sheila put a defensive hand to her hair and blushed.
“I think you look great, Ma,” Mindy said and glared at Mildred. Kowtowing to her grandmother for the sake of her mother’s inheritance was tiring but necessary. Mildred was the sole supporter of Sheila since her husband’s early demise at the hands of Jack Daniels and a midnight ride on the John Deere tractor. “Grandma, you may want to take out those pin curls before leaving the room next time. People here in Illinois are posh and don’t run around in curlers,” said Mindy, who got all her information from the blogs and forums of her favorite internet site. Some of them had contributed to her skewed sense of the world.
“I don’t give a fig how I look at the motel. I want to be picture perfect for the wedding. Millicent and Reginhard must be represented well by family.”
Mindy looked around at the Martin side of the family filling up the restaurant and remarked, “I think a hundred of us will more than give the Cooper clan cause to take notice. What are there, three of them attending?”
“I think only the parents could make it. But Mia has quite a varied group of friends,” Sheila said. “Millie said that there will be two priests…”
“Catholics!” Mildred raised her voice in outrage. “I didn’t know Mia was a Catholic?”
“Mama, lower your voice. There are a couple Romans in the Martin clan,” Sheila whispered. “Mia’s not anything, according to Millie. She prefers to… how did she put it… Oh yes, she prefers to have a one to one relationship with God. There will also be a Broadway designer, museum curator, eye ‘talins, a few childhood friends and dozens of clients.”
Mindy noticed her mother didn’t mention that the Broadway designer and the museum curator were a male couple. Her grandmother would never understand that.
~
“Mia, if you drink any more coffee, you’ll pee yourself during the service,” Ralph said as the two of them partook of a gourmet breakfast in their suite of rooms at the hotel.
“If I don’t have enough coffee, I’m going to fall asleep before we even get to the I dos.”
“Do you have your promise memorized?” Ralph asked. “You can’t write it out on your arm, your lace sleeves will cover it up.”
“Don’t be so nervous. Yes, I know what I’m going to say.” Mia cleared her throat and began, “Ted, thanks for marrying me before you knock me up. Simple and to the point.”
Ralph paled. “You’re not…”
“Of course not, although it would give his great aunt a heartattack. It wouldn’t be a bad idea though; it would free Sheila and her daughter from the woman’s tyranny.”
“Mia Cooper!” Ralph exclaimed. “Bernard, can you do something with the child? She is giving me angina.”
“Mia can’t give you that. I think it’s another word you’re thinking of. Besides, it’s her day, let her enjoy it,” he counseled.
“I love being talked about like I’m not here. Hey, did my parents make it to their rooms last night?”
“Yes, I talked to Charles this morning. He was busy uploading your mother’s latest addition to her blog site.”
“So, unless she gets another idea, she may actually be conscious enough to notice that I’m getting married. That is, if she can remember which one I am.”
“Don’t be so hard on her. She’s been making an attempt,” Bernard advised.
“It’s true. You didn’t see the Amanda we saw when you were abducted. She’s a very complex, narcissistic bitch, but she does care,” Ralph said.
“Speaking of Amanda,” Mia started, “Do you know she has a sister?”
“No,” Bernard and Ralph chorused.
“Living parents?” she asked.
“No,” they repeated.
“How do you know all this? Are you two talking?” Ralph asked.
“No, Sabine found out.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? We should have invited them to the wedding,” Ralph worried.
“I only found out this week, too late for an invite. Besides, there must be a reason why mommy dearest never mentioned them,” Mia said, taking the last pastry off the plate.
“How do I look?” Charles asked his wife.
Amanda looked at her husband standing with his arms akimbo. He was dressed in a Victorian archeologist’s costume. He had a white pith helmet under his arm and tinted sand goggles around his neck.
“I think those goggles are supposed to sit on top of the helmet,” Amanda said, taking charge of the helmet.
Charles pulled the goggles off and handed them to her.
“To answer your question, you look like a mature Brendan Frasier, dear.” Amanda handed him back the pith helmet. “I do think it was very on the nose for Ralph to attire you in this garb,” she said approvingly.
“How do I look?” Amanda asked, twirling in a girlish fashion. Her wide blue skirt fanned out and she giggled. “Did you see the tiny typewriter on my belt?” Amanda raised her arms. “Where did the man get all this cool stuff?”
Charles was silent. Watching Amanda twirl took him back in time to another day when his bride wore a different type of dress and had flowers in her hair. “You are so beautiful, Mandy.”
“You haven’t called me Mandy in years…” Amanda said, plucking a Kleenex out of her sleeve and dabbing at her eyes.
Charles moved towards his wife and took her in his arms. “You are my Mandy, always in my heart.”
“And you’re my hero, saving me from myself,” Amanda said putting her head on his shoulder. “How did we ever manage a daughter is beyond me.”
“We had Ralph. If left up to us, Mia would still be in diapers crawling around that mausoleum of a house.”
“Whatever happened to that house?”
“Mia burned it down,” Charles said offhandedly.
“Oh. I supposed she had a reason.”
“Suppose so. Look at the time, we better get over to the club.”
“Remember, you’re to text Ralph when we arrive,” Amanda instructed, looking at the itinerary Ralph had engraved for her on a
scroll that was attached to her belt beside the typewriter. “Amazing man. I feel like I’m in the Wild Wild West.”
Ted stood nervously at the entrance to the club. Soon the buses would arrive, and the groomsmen would escort the parties to the seats on the east lawn of the country club. The morning sun had burned off the dew, and the assistant wedding planner, Tristan, had it all in hand. Ralph may have drawn the blueprints, but Tristan would be in charge of everything today, leaving Ralph to enjoy the respectable spectacle that he laboriously planned for Ted and Mia.
The local invitees had started to arrive. Ted smiled as Gwen was rushed into a side room, so no one would see her outfit. Nathan arrived with Ann and Denny Seaver. The couple brought the cake through the back entrance, and Nathan awaited them in the lobby of the club. He was Burt’s plus one, much to Audrey’s annoyance. Ted was baffled how fast the comic book collector and Burt had bonded. He thought Nathan was a drip, but he would hold his tongue for the sake of the group.
Tom wandered in and whistled, looking over Ted’s outfit. Tom was dressed, like Cid and Mike, in brass-button-topped brown pants and a white shirt with a leather Airship Flying vest over top. He held on to his leather flying cap, feeling a bit stupid with it on.
Ted wore a splendid brown cashmere duster over his Victorian, striped trousers and engineer’s vest. He carried a rich brown stovepipe hat with goggles attached to the crown along with a bevy of gears. On his feet were rich, soft, brown leather boots that matched the footwear of his groomsmen. “One thing you can say for Ralph is, he is theatrical,” Ted said. “I have to give him credit though. He knew about my love of inventing and managed to work it into the wedding theme. The guy’s a genius.”
“Have you seen Burt yet?” Nathan asked, walking over.
“No I haven’t,” Ted said before he introduced Tom to Nathan.
“He’s got on this amazing outfit. He’s dressed like a Victorian photographer. He’s got all this antique equipment attached to his belt.”
Ted wondered if this new bromance was going to get in the way of Mike and Burt’s long standing partnership. He pushed the thoughts away as Bernard breezed in through the doors.
He was dressed in black striped trousers, a black leather clockwork-adorned vest over a white silk, ruffled shirt. His long duster coat was also cashmere, and he looked amazing. He smirked and put on the stovepipe hat of black silk. “Do I not look like the master of ceremonies for a circus or what?” he asked laughing. “Sometimes, I think Ralph goes too far, but in this case he has me down pat.”
“Have you seen my bride?” Ted asked nervously.
“Oh yes, and you have the right to be nervous, son. She looks so beautiful that we had to stock up on handkerchiefs on the way over, as Ralph went through a dozen already. Well, I see the buses arriving. Ted, you need to head for the rocket silo. I’ll send Cid over as soon as I find the rascal. Tom, you’re with me.”
Nathan watched the men vanish quickly in both directions. He was left standing there pondering if he had really heard the mention of a rocket silo?
Chapter Thirty-seven
Stephen Murphy couldn’t help being amused by the theme of the wedding. Cid had taken great pains to select and locate movies done in the steampunk genre for him to watch. The combination of machines and Victorian clothes was interesting. He didn’t have the heart to remind Cid that he’d lived through part of the Victorian era. The clothing the wedding party wore was a bit contrived and much more elegant than he was used to seeing in his day.
Daisy arrived when Mia did. She was pulled there by her desire to be with Mia and the large ruby that Mia promised to wear. Murphy walked over and held out his arm, wishing he wasn’t so underdressed for the occasion. Daisy was wearing what she died in also, which helped Stephen to not feel too back-woodsy. He walked over to where Ralph had a few benches set especially for them and offered a seat to Daisy. She smiled and produced a handkerchief from the folds of her gown, ready to use it as the bride arrived.
Daisy pointed to the back entrance of the building and said, “Crow.”
Murphy looked and saw that Angelo had arrived with Father Santos and Father Alessandro. On his arm was a stunning, curvaceous Italian woman of middle years. How old was the crow anyway? Murphy asked himself. Could that be his date on his arm or his sister? Angelo looked over at them and nodded his head in recognition before taking his seat.
Reg followed Millie Martin who had taken the arm of Mike Dupree to walk down the aisle. Reg was dressed as a Victorian land owner and Millie as his prosperous wife. If truth were to be known, it was Millie who was the prosperous one, but for the sake of the day, they would keep this error of Ralph’s to themselves. Millie worked for a stockbroker firm and, through her eavesdropping and attention to details, managed to amass a small fortune.
Tom brought Amanda Cooper down the aisle and sat her in the front, which signaled the other guests to settle down. The wedding was about to begin. The guest chairs were arranged facing a covered platform. Just to the right side of the platform were two large brass-colored rocket shells. To the left was a small pipe organ. The organist walked quickly out of the building, her heels clicking along the path to the platform. She wore a Victorian church dress and a stove pipe hat adorned with a cluster of organ pipes. She sat down, and with the flourish of the Phantom of the Opera, began playing the fanfare Ralph had written by one of the composers he had previously worked with. The music started off light and built quickly into a frenzy of dramatic runs as the organist’s fingers flew along the keyboard.
In the center of the platform jets of smoke shot out until the whole deck was opaque with white smoke. Fans were cleverly placed to keep the smoke flowing away from the guests. The organist’s fingers pulled sinister strands out of the machine as something rose out of the middle of the smoky stage.
Bernard walked out of the smoke and greeted the awestruck guests, “Welcome to the wedding of Mia Cooper and Theodore Martin. Enjoy.” The smoke cleared behind him, revealing the Honorable Judge Elizabeth Ann Williams sitting in a replica of James Orwell’s time machine. Bernard walked over and assisted the woman out of the machine, taking care to spread the corseted black-and-white-striped long skirts as the Judge walked forward. She had a small black silk hat perched jauntily on her head of shiny, gray-streaked brunette hair.
Oohs and ahs were heard amongst the guests before being hushed by the anticipation of what was going to happen next.
Judge Williams nodded to the organist who tripped along the keys to the strains of Rocket man. The two rocket shells turned around slowly, revealing Ted and Cid standing inside. They walked out casually as if they had been doing it all their lives.
Great Aunt Mildred said, “How clever,” before she was shushed by Sheila.
The music transitioned into “Everything’s Up To Date In Kansas City” from Oklahoma, as a strange sounding beeping horn was heard to the right of the guests. Driving out from the side of the building in a 1920 Stanely Steam car was Mike and inside the open convertible were the three little flower girls. They waved madly as they circled behind the platform and stopped to the left of the guests. Mike exited the vehicle and lifted the youngest girl, Zoe, out of the car first. She stood shyly, hanging on to Mike’s pant leg until Tammy and Gwen were safely placed on the ground.
The girls were wearing little frothy white lace gowns, belted with fawn silk ribbons, with brass and silver tiaras on their heads. They carried small baskets of autumn flowers. They ran to the back of the aisle and danced their way forward as the organist played “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.”
While they danced, a 1909 Baker Electric car appeared, following the same path of the steam car. Inside, Raedell sat while Audrey navigated along the track Mike had set. Tom joined Mike, as Audrey pulled the car to a stop. The men helped the bridesmaids out of the vehicle. Raedell and Audrey were gowned in lush green, plaid skirted gowns that were pulled in tight by brown leather corsets that showed off the women’s figures and the red an
d auburn of their hair. On top of their heads each wore a forest green riding hat with matching forest green netting twisted around the headpiece. Instead of flowers, the women carried long stemmed, tinted opera glasses decorated with autumnal colored ribbons. As they walked to and then down the aisle, Rae and Audrey peered at the guests through the opera glasses, which brought twitters of delight from the women and appreciative glances from the men.
As soon as they were settled on the platform, the organist, supported by a sound engineer, played the theme from Lawrence of Arabia. As they brought forth their rendition of this moving epic, a 1907 Rolls-Royce Silver Ghost circled behind the platform. Ralph, wearing an elaborate Victorian Chauffeur’s costume replete with goggles and a myriad of brass buttons, parked the car. He hopped out of the vehicle and assisted Charles who carried a woman shrouded in a white satin, hooded cloak out of the car.
As soon as her white leather, high heeled boots hit the ground, Ralph pulled away the shroud, unveiling Mia Cooper.
She was dressed in a long-sleeved, high-necked lace gown. Her trim waist was pulled in with a white leather corset. Around her neck she wore a strand of mismatched pearls and an antique chain supporting a beautiful blood-red ruby. Mia’s makeup was understated, her moss green eyes supported with a little liner and lush lashes. On her head of Nordic blonde hair, Mia wore a tall stovepipe hat with white veiling wound around the brim, supported by a pair of brass goggles. On her hands she wore a pair of white, soft leather gloves. Ralph unwound the veil before he handed her a bouquet of orange, red and yellow roses intermingled with watch parts and brass gears. Ribbons that matched the bridesmaids’ opera glasses trailed from the bouquet, each ribbon tied with a love knot.
The music continued, and Ralph took up a position in front of Mia and her father who had put on his white pith helmet before taking his daughter’s arm.
Ralph walked down the aisle, leaning on a walking stick topped with a pair of binoculars. His feet moved with grace and elegance in the highly polished boots he wore. He looked splendid in the brown jacket and trousers. As he walked up and stood next to Raedell and Audrey, he encouraged the little girls to sit down in front of them, facing the guests. Even Mildred had to admit that this Man of Honor with the bridesmaids and flower girls presented a pretty picture.