by Alexie Aaron
“Penny for your thoughts?” Mike Dupree asked as he handed her the gin and tonic she requested. He sat down and opened a few buttons on his vest.
“I don’t get it? I thought your partner in arms was interested in me, or at least in women, but today he hasn’t said a word. He seems to be avoiding me,” she complained.
“It’s the curse of the wedding,” Mike said.
“Now you’re going to have to explain that one,” Audrey said, turning her chair to stare fully at Mike.
“There’s all this pressure if you’re a guy with a steady gal when you’re at weddings. She’s all dreamy-eyed after watching the love birds tie the knot. He’s thinking he isn’t ready. So instead of enjoying the day together, he’s running for the hills, and she’s pissed. Wedding curse, pure and simple. He likes you, Audrey, he’s just scared.”
“I didn’t take him for a fearful man,” Audrey confessed. “With all the danger you’ve been through…”
“We don’t normally enter an investigation hoping for danger. Me, I just want a blemish free day of filming. It’s just been our bad luck to run into some rather physical entities. Normally, there are some disembodied voices and a few extra creaks to debunk.”
“Enough about work. What are you reading these days?”
Mike laughed, pulled out his iPhone and showed Audrey the array of romance novels on his bookshelf. They put their heads together and scrolled through Mike’s collection.
“I’ve read that one, it’s a goody,” Audrey said.
“If that’s porn you two are looking at, I’m going to tell your mothers. Oh wait, I am one of your mothers,” Glenda said and popped Mike on top of the head.
“Ma, not the hair,” he complained.
“We were just comparing books,” Audrey explained.
“At a wedding reception? With all the mischief you can get into that no one is going to remember in the morning? I have to say, young woman, I took you for a redhead and not a read head.”
Audrey was lost for words.
“Get up out of that chair and mingle. Mike, you too. There must be a cousin of Ted’s you haven’t slept with.”
Audrey burst into giggles.
Mike made a theatrical effort of standing up, putting his hand to his brow and scanning the room. He sat down. “Nope.”
“Figures,” Glenda said gruffly. “Then come and tease a few old women. Just don’t sit there and be a wallflower.”
Audrey got up and went in search of her folks. They were sitting with the Seavers the last time she had seen them.
“Here’s our girl,” Luke McCarthy announced getting up. He pulled out a chair next to his wife.
Audrey sat down, careful of the many folds of the dress.
“You look so stunning,” Ann Seaver remarked. “Denny and I thought the opera glasses were a nice touch.”
“Ralph’s idea not ours. He’s made this whole experience so much fun.”
“He’s a dear man,” Ann agreed. “He couldn’t decide on the cake flavor, so he ordered five of them. And he insisted I make a Victorian sponge cake too. I’ve never done that before,” she admitted. “He says to stay true to myself but knock it up a notch, so I did.”
Audrey looked over at the cake table, admiring all the details Anne had added in keeping with the steampunk theme. “They look beautiful, and I know they’ll be delicious. I’ll be letting out my corset before the afternoon’s through.”
“Audrey!” her mother chided.
“This corset, Mom,” she explained, turning in her seat so her mother could see her back. “As you can see, Ralph tightened it a bit. I can hardly breathe.”
“Ah, the pain of having a tiny waist,” Ann remarked, glad that she’d married a man that liked something to hang onto.
“I don’t have a tiny waist, that’s the problem. Now Raedell and Mia, they have tiny waists. Mia can and does eat all day and doesn’t gain weight.”
“Don’t worry, in my heaven all the thin women gain forty pounds,” Ann assured her.
“Once she has kids, she’ll have to watch her calories,” Audrey’s mom informed her. “I used to be a thinny Minnie, but after you…”
Audrey looked at her mother fondly. Her father was signaling something she didn’t understand at first, but when she did, replied, “But, Mom, you are perfect. You’re the best looking woman here.”
Luke smiled and gave her a thumbs up behind his wife’s back.
“Thank you dear, but I fear the Italian bombshell has taken that prize.”
Chapter Thirty-nine
“Let’s see, tables are cleared, coffee’s served, and Mia and Ted are going to cut the tiered cake,” Ralph announced to Bernard who had finally taken a moment to sit down. “Soon we can start the dancing. I hope people will be up for it considering it is so early in the day.”
“If the amount of booze served is any indication, I’m surprised they aren’t tripping the light fantastic now,” Bernard commented, watching Raedell weave her way through the room in search of Tom. “That girl is toast.”
“Hmmmm, I see what you mean. Perhaps we better get some coffee and cake into them. I don’t want everyone passed out and miss Mia’s and Ted’s exit.”
Bernard sat up and looked at his watch. “Speaking of that, I’d better see if the vehicle is ready.” He got to his feet and put his hand to the middle of his back. “Perhaps for our wedding we can have a little less activity.”
Ralph who didn’t want to admit he too was feeling the years. “For you, I’ll scale it back.”
“Thank you, this way I’ll be able to spend our honeymoon in your arms and not in traction,” Bernard said.
“Can I be of service?” Judy asked. “I noticed you may have a disk sliding in the wrong direction…”
“You can see that?” Bernard asked stunned.
“I can. Now stand up straight,” she instructed.
Bernard did as requested. Judy ran her hand down his spine and stopped at the troubled area. “Come with me. I have to find Ed.”
Ralph followed them to a quiet corner where Ed was looking out the window.
“Ed, lift Bernard up by the shoulders so his feet dangle.”
Bernard suppressed a surprised yelp as the giant man did just that. Judy maneuvered his spine into place.
“Lower him, dear,” she instructed. “Now stand still, Bernard. Yes, that should do it. How do you feel?”
Bernard took a few steps and turned around. “Amazing. What did you do?”
“Chiropractic manipulation, Judy-style,” Ed said with pride. “We’ve been reading up on the latest techniques.”
“I’d like to use my gifts, but I have no medical degree,” Judy said sadly.
“I know a clinic that has a holistic approach,” Ralph said. “I could get you an introduction.”
“Could you? That would be grand.” Judy shook his hand vigorously.
Ralph felt a surge of energy flowing through his body. He felt years younger. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a bride and groom to round up. The show must go on!”
“I’m really surprised,” Ted said as he set his fork down.
“What by?” Mia asked, deciding if it would be bad form to ask for a third piece of cake.
“You didn’t smash the cake into my mouth.”
“Oh, was I supposed to?” Mia asked puzzled. “I find it a waste of good confection.”
Ted laughed. “You never cease to amaze me, Minnie Mouse.”
“Well good. I wouldn’t want to become predictable.”
The lights dimmed twice.
“Attention, I would like to ask the bride and groom to come to the dance floor,” the emcee requested.
“Now this is where I embarrass myself,” Mia said. “Dancing’s not my forte.”
“If you let me lead, then we may survive,” Ted teased.
The emcee played “Everything” by Lifehouse. Ted took Mia in his arms. The height of her heels made them somewhat less mismatched on the dance flo
or. By the time the song reached the first chorus, they moved together as one. The emcee motioned for the rest of the wedding party to come out onto the floor. Cid took all three of the flower girls out. They took turns stepping on the top of his feet and let him move them in slow careful circles. Bernard danced with Ralph, Mike with Audrey, and Tom managed to keep a very drunk Raedell on her feet. After that the music changed, and Charles danced with his daughter. Ted with his mother.
“I like this custom,” Ed said as he watched the couples move across the floor. “It seems sad but happy at the same time,” he observed. “Parents having one last dance before the couple leave them for their life together.”
“They say that a son is a son until he has a wife, but a daughter’s a daughter her entire life,” Amanda said.
Father Santos looked at her sharply.
“I do believe I said it correctly,” Amanda defended.
“No, it’s just strange coming from you. Tell me, Amanda, are you still a daughter?”
A cloud of memories seemed to move behind her eyes, and she turned away from him.
Ted walked over and asked his new mother-in-law for a dance.
“Yes, son, I would enjoy that,” she said, relieved to be away from the table and Father Santos’s probing questions.
After the emcee opened up the dancing to the guests, Mia walked quickly out of the hall to get ready for their exit.
Ted sought out Murphy and found him examining a small group of birch trees. “Those are beautiful trees. I like the way the bark curls,” Ted remarked.
“They’re not from here.”
Ted looked around the ornamental lawn of the club and agreed. “I don’t imagine much of anything planted here is from here. I suspect in your day this was prairie.”
“Not sure, never been here,” Murphy commented. “You’ll be leaving soon.”
“Yes. I wanted to say goodbye and thank you.”
“Thank me?”
“I know that if you held your friendship with Mia over her head and told her not to marry me, she may have faltered,” Ted told him.
Murphy shook his head. “No, Mia knows her own mind. She would have given me the boot.”
“You may be right.”
“Take good care of her. Outside she is iron. Inside she is mush.”
Ted nodded. “I promise.”
They heard a strange sound approaching out of the west. The two of them witnessed a large hot air balloon just clear the roof of the building. The pilot brought it gracefully down to where several handlers were running to catch ropes to secure the balloon to the tie-down stakes they had quickly driven into the sod.
“That’s my ride,” Ted explained and took off running towards the balloon.
The emcee’s words were lost amongst the oohs and ahs as the guests caught sight of what had landed on the east lawn. They moved to the windows and out onto the large deck, grabbing coats and sweaters on the way.
The pilot and handlers were dressed like the groomsmen in Victorian pilot costumes. Tom reluctantly put on his helmet and joined Cid and Mike at the entrance to the building. Ted tossed his topcoat into the basket and strode forth dramatically as Ralph had instructed. He put away his fear of ridicule and replaced it with drama as he put his hands on his hips and called out, “Has anyone seen my bride?”
The crowed turned this way and that, looking for Mia.
“Here I am!” they heard from behind them.
Mia appeared between the arms of Cid and Mike. Tom carried an old-fashioned carpet bag behind them. Mia had abandoned her wedding dress and now wore an ice blue Victorian traveling costume replete with white silk bloomers. The feathered hat, affixed to her head with several hat pins, was further secured from the wind with blue netting. The men lifted her up and deposited her on the edge of the basket. She sat dramatically, lifting her skirts up, showing off the blue garter which now rested on her left thigh just above the knee high boot.
“Attention single gentlemen,” the emcee announced, his words sounding inside the hall and out on the deck. “Would you please congregate on the east lawn for the garter toss.”
Mia watched as the male guests moved down the steps of the deck and out onto the lawn. Ted waited until the emcee had started an all too familiar burlesque tune. Mia laughed, and as Ted approached the balloon, the pilot raised it off the ground, dropping a rope ladder at the same time. Ted climbed the ladder and took hold of Mia’s offered leg and stripped off the garter. He then turned around and tossed it to the crowd of men.
Mia watched as it sailed into the throng. I think everyone was surprised when Mike came up with it.
Ted climbed the last rungs of the ladder, jumping into the basket. He gently lifted his bride off the edge of the gondola. He waited until her feet were securely on the floor before nodding to the pilot. The handlers loosened the guide ropes and the balloon climbed higher.
“Ladies, ladies, we haven’t forgotten you. Please come to the east lawn for the bouquet toss,” the emcee instructed.
There was a rush of women of all ages across the lawn, gathering under the balloon. Mia took her traveling bouquet and tossed it into the air, watching as a tiny parachute opened, and the flowers floated slowly down.
Ted stood beside Mia as she watched the flowers drift a moment in the wind and then settle into the hands of the Countess of Sardinia.
“You know what happens next,” Ted said, pulling his coat on.
“Ralph told me that the guy that catches the garter has to put it on the girl who snagged the bouquet,” Mia said. “I wonder how Angelo is going to deal with that?”
“Depends on whether the Countess is his sister or his date, I imagine,” Ted said, pulling Mia close. “I would snap off Mike’s fingers before letting them climb up your leg.”
“Ooh I like when you talk all brutish, Popeye,” Mia squealed.
“You know, me loves yah, Olive,” Ted said and followed with, “Yuk, yuk, yuk , yuk, yuk.”
The pilot of the balloon lit up the exterior of the craft. Mia snuggled close to Ted.
“Let’s wish Mia and Ted Martin calm winds on their honeymoon journey,” the emcee instructed.
Mia smiled as the crowd on the lawn and the people who remained on the deck waved to them as the pilot took them higher and higher. They cleared the tree tops and continued to travel east, away from the golf club.
Ted pulled Mia into his arms and kissed her long and hard. “I love you, Mia Martin.”
“I love you too,” Mia said and held on tight to the man who determinedly entered her life and refused to leave. He brought her more than love and laughter. Ted Martin would be tickled to know that he also brought her peace.
Burt held the camera focused on the balloon until it flew out of the telephoto focus ability. He refocused on the milling people below the deck.
“I swear that camera is growing out of your head,” Audrey said behind him.
He smiled and set the camera down. “I’ll have you know, I’m taking my job as photographer very seriously. Ralph is paying me big money.”
“Do you have the need for big money?” Audrey asked. “Doesn’t chasing ghosts pay enough?”
“Not enough if you’re planning on courting a Second City girl,” he said, taking her into his arms.
“Gee, how is Nathan going to feel about you having a girlfriend?”
Burt flushed. “You noticed my admirer. I’m just being a nice guy. I can’t help it if I’m irresistible to men and women.”
“I thought you were avoiding me,” Audrey pouted.
“A little maybe,” he said honestly. “I found myself in a rather grumpy mood and didn’t want to rain on your good time.”
“Well, your not being around did that anyway.”
“Oh, sorry,” he said.
“Care to tell me what made you grumpy?”
“No. It passed. How come you weren’t down there fighting for the bouquet?”
“Oh, you noticed.”
“Yes,
I have been following you around all day. Mia will wonder why there is so much footage of you.”
“No she won’t. Since you asked, I didn’t fight for the bouquet because I know that fate isn’t swayed by bouquets caught at weddings. It delivers love to those that go out and seek it.”
“Tell me, Audrey, are you seeking love?” Burt asked, moving an errant curl away from the side of her face.
“I think I may have found it, but it’s early days yet,” she answered seriously.
“Be patient with me, my beautiful love, I’m not very good at this,” Burt asked.
“I’m not going anywhere, Burt, but I won’t wait forever,” she warned.
He angled his head and studied her face.
Audrey wasn’t sure why she told him that, but her private thoughts had escaped her lips before she realized it was too late to edit them. She explained, “I want more out of life than casual relationships. I think I have found the right partner in life. I know we have to examine other areas of our relationship, to seek out whether or not we are compatible, but we need to take the next step.”
“Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson?”
“Yes, I am.”
“I have to admit to being flattered by your advances,” he said leaning down. He kissed her lips softly. “Are you traveling back with your parents, or can I suggest an evening at Villa Hicks?”
“As long as I don’t end up in the guest room by myself,” she teased. “I want to get me some of that great sex Mia told me about.”
Burt pulled back surprised.
Audrey started laughing. “She is too much of a lady to say anything, but she hinted that your time together was wonderful and would never be forgotten. I decided I wanted to get me some of that!”
Burt waffled between irritation and amusement. “I hope I don’t disappoint. Just in case, snag a bottle of bubbly on the way out the door. I look better through tipsy lenses.”