by Rebecca King
Trenton stared at her in horror, and realised then just how badly he had misjudged her. He had also made a colossal mistake in not being entirely honest with her from the very start of their relationship.
“Please don’t keep things like this from me, Trenton. I need to know if he is around so I can keep an eye out for him. Not telling me puts me even more at risk. I could have engaged him in conversation without realising just how dangerous he is.”
“I know, I am sorry,” Trenton sighed. He had to concede she had a point. “It’s the Neanderthal in me wanting to protect you, I suppose.”
Ursula nodded but was aware of the stilted silence that lay between them throughout the rest of the journey home.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Ursula looked over the top of her book when her aunt sighed deeply.
“Alright?” she asked, knowing Adelaide most certainly wasn’t.
“No. I am bored. Isaac is fussing too much, and I haven’t seen my friends for too long. At my age one must take advantage of every opportunity to keep the mind alive. I shouldn’t be sitting here waiting for God to realise I am still going,” Adelaide declared dourly.
Ursula bit back a smile and put her book in her lap. “So, what would you like to do with the evening?” She glanced at the clock and prayed Adelaide didn’t want to go to someone’s ball, but it was still early in the evening. They had time to do so if Adelaide insisted on it. “It is too late to accept anybody’s invitation to dine or anything, and you are not recovered well enough to go to any balls,” she warned darkly.
“I have two tickets for the theatre,” Adelaide declared with a crafty smile. “It would be a shame to not use them. I have heard so much about this play that I should like to see it for myself. Just so I know what everyone is talking about.”
“It is a dire spectacle from what I have heard,” Ursula replied, suspecting that they were going to go to the theatre.
“Well, let’s go and find out for ourselves. It is hardly a taxing endeavour to go to the theatre, now is it? I cannot just sit here all evening. I am bored already,” Adelaide argued even though Ursula hadn’t objected.
“Then the theatre it is,” Ursula agreed with a sigh.
An hour later, Ursula stepped inside the brightly lit entrance hall at the Apollo, and sighed in delight as she studied the brilliantly lit opulence of the theatre and its assorted patrons. The patrons were milling in the entrance hall, exchanging pleasantries and small talk before they found their boxes. She tried not to stare as she followed Adelaide through the crowd, but it was difficult given the plethora of colours, sights, sounds and infectious feeling of expectation that lingered in the air.
“We will take our box seat straight away, I think,” Adelaide declared over her shoulder. “I want to see who is here before the lights go down. Oh, there is Myra Thornton. I must say hello while we are here.”
Ursula sighed and followed her aunt as she forged a path across the room. She curtseyed to Adelaide’s friends politely and stood patiently to wait for her aunt to move on. While Adelaide conversed, Ursula turned her attention to the guests within the grand entrance hall.
In one second, her entire world screeched to a halt, and began to crumble around her. A gasp escaped her. Her stomach dipped. She blinked and stared in shock, unsure at first that her eyes weren’t deceiving her.
“Trenton,” she whispered, staring at him in stunned disbelief.
When several people blocked her view, she moved to one side so she could get a better look. Sure enough, Trenton was there along with his friend, Hugo something or other. That didn’t bother her at all. He was just out for the evening. That was all; nothing to worry about. She wouldn’t have worried either, if it hadn’t been for the very clear fact that the men were escorting two beautiful young women; one of whom Trenton had been so earnestly wrapped around the night of the Andover’s ball. Right now, he was laughing down into her face with carefree abandon that hinted at an intimacy between them.
The wave of hurt that swept through her was so strong that she struggled to take a breath. When she realised she was staring she forced herself to look away. Unfortunately, like a moth to a flame her gaze was drawn back to them time and again. There was something in Trenton’s face; an easy-going enjoyment that she had never seen when he was with her. When he was with her he was always tense; watchful even and had certainly never tossed his head back and laughed with such carefree abandon before.
“Come along, my dear,” Adelaide murmured quietly.
Ursula jerked and looked at her aunt. She blinked away the salty sting of tears and nodded, painfully aware that her aunt had also seen Trenton.
“Would you like to make their acquaintance?” Adelaide asked as she studied the group.
“No! God, no,” Ursula snapped in a voice that quivered with a mixture of outrage and hurt.
How could he do this to her after what they had shared? Had it not meant anything to him? She glanced about the room blankly, unsure which way to go or what to do.
“Would you like to go home instead?” Adelaide turned around until her back was to the group, effectively blocking Ursula’s view of them.
Ursula seriously considered whether to leave. She wanted to run and keep going until she could get that betraying image out of her head. As it was, something within her refused to allow him to see how much devastation his treachery had wrought. Closing her eyes against the pain, she gave her aunt a smile that was as brave as it was tentative.
“Let’s go and find our box, shall we?” she whispered, and swallowed the tears away while they made their way up the stairs to their private box.
“Are you alright, my dear?”
“Yes, thank you,” she replied woodenly.
“Did you not know he was here?”
She could see no reason to lie to Adelaide. “No. He told me he had some business to attend to. Why did he lie? Why is he with her?”
“I don’t know, my dear,” Adelaide replied frankly. “You do know who she is, don’t you?”
Ursula shook her head, not really wanting to know but determined to find out for herself before Trenton told her any more lies. Or rather kept even more secrets.
“That is Serena, Hugo’s sister. Hugo has been Trenton’s friend since they were young boys. It caused quite a stir when that Barbarella girl started to put it about that she expected an offer from Trenton. People had always assumed that Serena would be Trenton’s choice for a bride. They often go out together. The other lady, Melvina Davenport, is Hugo’s intended. They make a foursome, and regularly attend social engagements together. It is nothing new.”
“Why did you not tell me?” Ursula whispered. Each word Adelaide had spoken had felt like a hammer blow to her tender heart. She realised just how much of a fool she had been to place her trust in someone she barely knew, but couldn’t be sure whether to be angry with him or herself.
“I thought you knew, my dear. I had hoped that once he made your acquaintance, and realised how wonderful you are, he would end his association with Serena and look toward you.” Adelaide frowned across the theatre to the box where Trenton was in the process of seating the ladies.
Ursula knew she was looking at the people they were discussing but didn’t want to look at them. She didn’t want to see just how much he had betrayed her again.
“Why would he lie about going out tonight? He told me he had business to conduct,” she said somewhat peevishly. He never said that the business was another woman.
“He probably didn’t want to hurt your feelings. After all, he could hardly tell you that he was going to take Serena to the theatre, now could he?”
Ursula wondered if he would have told her he had taken Serena anywhere and rather suspected that he wouldn’t. If there was one thing Trenton apparently liked to do it was keep a secret.
What should she do now though? She could hardly challenge him because he hadn’t made her any promises. He had fulfilled his obligation to take her to the picnic,
albeit he was late and distracted at first, but he had turned up. There was no reason why he should call to see her again at all. He had made no offers for her and had not done anything publically that would damage her reputation. He was perfectly able to see who he chose.
But he has ruined you, a small voice reminded her. Several times in fact, and you let him.
“Try not to let it ruin your evening,” Adelaide warned. “There is most probably a perfectly reasonable explanation.”
Ursula snorted. “Yes, he is a liar,” she declared flatly. “I don’t care what he does. I hope I shall never see him again.”
“You care for him, don’t you?”
Ursula hesitated. She wanted to lie and deny it, but if she did then her aunt wouldn’t understand her aversion to meeting with him again. Besides, Adelaide had already done so much for her that Ursula couldn’t bring herself to be dishonest. She nodded slowly.
“I always have in a way. Even from childhood, I knew I was wishing for rainbows expecting him to notice me. I am not connected to anyone other than you, and living in Yorkshire that doesn’t really count for much. Now that I have met him, and gotten to know him, he is better than I had ever dreamt he could be. Or I thought he was.” She glanced across the theatre one last time. “It appears I was wrong. My ridiculous childish infatuation with him should never have been acknowledged. It should have remained in Yorkshire with the memories.”
She jumped when Adelaide’s hand settled comfortingly over hers. She gave her aunt a quivering smile to assure her that everything was alright, but tears loomed anyway at the sympathy in the older woman’s gaze.
“Love can be a very strange creature at times. It brings out the best and the worst in people. It can render some people useless to fight their desires while in others it makes them stronger and more capable. Those who argue they don’t acknowledge it are the weakest, if you ask me. Unfortunately, the majority of the ton don’t marry for love. These people focus their entire lives around money, connections and titles. Those with the most go the furthest. It is as simple as that. Someone like Trenton will have been raised as a young boy to marry someone of his ilk and not settle for anyone less. Serena is Lady Inglemere.”
“Someone of his ilk,” she whispered, feeling more betrayed than ever.
“Don’t feel so bad, Ursula. Someone who doesn’t have the wisdom to see the woman you are and appreciate you doesn’t deserve you. There will be someone somewhere along the way for you, I have no doubt. I have to say that am surprised at Trenton. I had hoped he would be more estimable than that. Even I had the impression that he was keen on you. It appears that I was wrong.” Adelaide’s voice changed from being soft and sympathetic to one that was harsh and filled with disgust.
It barely penetrated the thick fog of misery that had settled over Ursula, who was lost to her misery. Aware that the theatre was now full, she took one last look at him. Her heart lurched when she realised he was staring straight at her. She stared back, but was thankfully prevented from having to acknowledge him by the dimming of the lights.
“I won’t ask you here, my dear, but I think you had better be entirely honest about exactly what has happened between you and Trenton Calderhill,” Adelaide declared as soon as they were encased in darkness. “I won’t settle for anything less than the full truth. Then we can decide how best to handle the situation.”
Ursula closed her eyes and realised then just how thorough her fall from grace was.
“This is awful,” Adelaide whispered half an hour later and shared a rueful look with her niece through the darkness.
Ursula swiped the tears off her face and shook her head. “You were told that it was,” she challenged.
Now that her initial hurt had started to fade, anger had replaced it. She was furious with Trenton for his deceit, and wished now she had probed a bit deeper into the business activities he had mentioned. No wonder he had been so secretive about things; clearly he had matters he wished to hide.
Still, if there was one bright side to all of this, it reconfirmed her belief that she should never just hand her future over to a husband, no matter how good his connections were. Men were deceitful; it was as simple as that. If she ever doubted it, she only had to look at Brompton and Alfred Sinnerton’s behaviour. She wouldn’t trust them either.
“Are you ready to go, my dear?”
“Yes, please,” Ursula declared fervently. She had no idea what the play was about because she hadn’t paid the slightest bit of attention to what had been happening on the stage. She was, however, awkwardly aware that he continued to stare at her throughout the entire play. It was a relief when she was able to leave the box and turn away from the prying eyes and leave the theatre behind.
“I don’t want to know details, but you have been intimate, haven’t you?”
Ursula gasped and stared at her aunt across the dim confines of the carriage. Her cheeks blushed guiltily butt she couldn’t deny it. Instead, she jerked her head up and down and let the tears flow.
“I am not as ignorant to what goes on as you might think,” Adelaide murmured. “I have never married purely because I haven’t found anyone within the ton appealing enough to want to share my life. However, I am a woman, and will admit to you now, strictly between us, that I have dallied with men on several occasions. Trenton is a handsome man. You are an impressionable young woman, entirely eligible, but someone who is new to the heady social whirl of London.” She sighed and stared out of the window for a moment. “I am partly to blame for what has happened.” She held a hand up to halt Ursula’s instinctive protest and shook her head decisively. “I trusted Trenton. I felt that he would understand just how alien this kind of life is to someone unused to the sights and sounds of London. Especially given that he is from Yorkshire too. I had heard the gossip regarding Barbarella; everyone has, but felt relatively confident that you were safe with him. I had hoped that he would introduce you to some of his acquaintances and further your quest to find a husband as per your father’s dictates. However, it appears that my trust was misplaced. He took advantage of you himself instead. Now, I cannot help but think that the gossip surrounding him and Barbarella might be true.”
“I should have gotten to know him a little more,” Ursula whispered. “I felt that I could trust him. He is the son of the local Lord. Gentry. I shouldn’t have allowed matters to progress the way they have. It’s my fault.”
They lapsed into silence until they reached home, where they took a seat in the private parlour.
“We are all to blame.” Adelaide handed her a sherry and took a seat opposite her in front of the fire. “Now, what do you want to do about it? I don’t think we should say anything to your father. I know this changes any offer he might accept for you, but it must remain a secret for now. I have to tell you, Ursula, I don’t agree with your father’s behaviour of late. I mean, ordering you to find a husband is downright archaic behaviour, and not something I would expect from Jeremiah. However, he has pushed you to at least get out and about, and that is what you have done. Given that you have already been ruined, I think that you cannot actively seek a husband while you are here. Your lack of purity would raise a few eyebrows on your wedding night.”
“I have no intention of marrying anyone,” Ursula interrupted. “I was opposed to marriage even before I met Trenton. Most of my life has been dictated by others. Where I go, whom I see, who I talk to is all directed for me. Here is not much better because I cannot even walk down the street without having to remember at least ten different set of rules and restrictions. It is quite claustrophobic at times, which is ridiculous really, but there it is. The last thing I will ever agree to do is exchange the dictates of my father for the dictates of a husband.”
“Quite,” Adelaide murmured. “I quite agree.”
Ursula lifted her brows and stared at her aunt who nodded.
“My sentiments exactly. You take after my side of the family. I have already said that you can remain here for as long a
s you want to. Meantime, I think that we should wait and see what Jeremiah does. If he pushes you to go along with a wedding to a man of his choosing then I think he has to be told, although I shall leave it to you as to how much you wish to tell him.”
“You won’t mention it to him otherwise?”
“I think that it has to remain between us. If you do meet anyone you wish to have a future with then we will discuss this matter further. Meantime, you must tell me what you intend to do with regards to Trenton. He is aware now that you have seen him tonight. I think it is safe to assume that he will call by here as soon as possible to offer his excuses.”
Ursula looked at her aunt defiantly but was unable to do anything about the hurt lingering in her eyes. “I don’t care what the man does. I have no intention of listening to him.”
“Very well,” Adelaide replied with a nod, and sat back in her chair to study the fire thoughtfully. “Then we shall endeavour to thwart his plans too.”
The following morning Ursula turned the broadsheet over and settled back against her pillows to finish her toast. It was rare for her not to be up and about this late in the morning, but Adelaide had assured her that their morning walk was cancelled and she could remain in bed. As a result, Ursula was able to spend some precious time to herself so she could decide what to do about Trenton.
The deep rumble of a voice downstairs brought a frown to her face. She didn’t need to go to the top of the stairs to know exactly who it was: Trenton. Aunt Adelaide was right; he had called by to try to explain to her why he had not told her about taking Serena to the theatre. As far as she was concerned though, he could go to Hades with his explanations. She wasn’t interested in anything he had to say. She had seen more than enough with her own eyes; the whys and wherefores were really insignificant. Betrayal was betrayal; it was as simple as that. Determined to ignore him, she picked up her toast and broadsheet and resumed her breakfast.