“Well, maybe,” I said, as my cheeks began to blush. Great, more red, I thought.
Ruby laughed again and slung her arm around my shoulder for a quick hug. Then, her eyes got very serious.
“If it was all pretend, why the crying jag? It wasn’t serious. What’s wrong? What did that bastard do?”
“No,” I said hurriedly. I couldn’t have her thinking this was Jason’s fault.
“That’s not it,” I continued, “I just ... I ...”
She looked into my eyes, and I could see her slowly come to the realization of the truth.
“You fell in love with him didn’t you?”
I nodded my head, as I fought to hold off another cry.
Her eyes narrowed with concern, then she pulled me into a tight hug again.
“Don’t worry honey,” she said, as she rubbed my back. “It won’t last. Love never does. The pain will go away.”
I sobbed into her shoulder, as I realized how wrong she was. It was impossible to think this pain would ever go away.
.o0o.
Jason
We lost that week’s football game, and then the one after that. I played like crap both games. For some reason, the fire in my belly just wasn’t there.
Life sucked, and the people around me made it worse. Marla was giving me the silent treatment. Somehow, she’d gotten it into her head that Amada dumping me was all my fault.
The worst of it was, I wanted to talk to her about Amber. How was she doing? Did she talk about me? But, every time I started to bring up the subject, Marla would toss her hair over her shoulder and stomp off.
Nick acted like I was some kind of lower life form. You’d think out of anyone he would have understood.
“She’s different,” he said, as he shook his head. “You must have really screwed up.”
I couldn’t tell him the truth. Not without making myself look like a complete idiot. I was hurting over losing a pretend girlfriend. It was ridiculous.
But, it was Tank who was the worse. Every morning when he climbed into my truck he would stare over at me and scowl.
“You need to fix this,” he’d say, then shut up. The next morning, he’d do the same, “You need to fix this.”
What could I tell him? That Amber didn’t think of me as boyfriend material. She didn’t look at me like I was worth the effort. Didn’t he realize that if there was some way I could fix it I would?
Even my mom would look at me and shake her head. You know it’s pretty bad when you lose your mother’s support.
Like I said. Life sucked.
It only got worse, the Saturday after Thanksgiving, I was still trying to recuperate from two days of too much food, too much laying around watching football, and too much time thinking about Amber.
I swear, even Uncle John looked at me strangely for a second and shook his head. And, he had more woman problems than Brad Pitt.
The doorbell ringing made me jump. I tried to remember if we had any more relatives coming over. Those who hadn’t made the big meal on Thursday, or the leftovers Friday. But, I didn’t think anyone was scheduled.
When I opened the door, my heart fell to my stomach.
Mr. Johnson. Amber’s dad. I’ve got to admit. The first thing I did was to look at his hands and make sure he wasn’t carrying a shotgun.
“Hi, Jason. Do you have a moment?” he said, indicating he wanted to talk on the porch.
“Yes sir,” I answered, as I stepped outside.
He looked a little embarrassed. My heart was pounding. Was Amber okay? What was this all about?
“So, I hear your pretty good up on a roof?” he said.
I could feel the wrinkles on my forehead. What was this all about?
“Yes, Sir.”
He took a deep breath. “Well, the thing is. I want to put up some Christmas lights. And, my wife doesn’t believe I can do it without falling off the roof. I started to do it myself, but I’m afraid she might be right. I’ll pay you fifty bucks if you do it for me.”
I let out a long breath. That was so not what I was expecting to hear.
“Of course, sir, and you don’t have to pay me. You’re our neighbor. My mom would skin me alive if she thought I was getting paid to help you.”
He smiled, “We’ll discuss it later. I was wondering if you could come over now. I’ve got the lights all laid out.”
My insides turned over. What if I ran into Amber? We hadn’t talked since the breakup scene in the cafeteria. Other than an occasional tight smile, we hadn’t acknowledged each other. What would I say now? Especially, with her parents right there.
Did she know her dad was here? For some reason, I doubted it.
“Amber and her mom are Christmas shopping,” he said, as if he could read my mind. “I’d love to have it all done before they came home. Surprise them. I might even forget to tell them you helped.”
I smiled at him as my guts relaxed. No Amber. That was a good thing I told myself. Even if a part of me didn’t believe it.
My mom’s eyes lit up when I told her where I was going. I didn’t know if it was because I was helping someone or because she thought I might run into Amber. I decided not to address the issue. I had enough things to worry about.
Following Mr. Johnson next door, I listened, as he explained what he wanted done, then I scrambled up onto the roof via his ladder.
I was standing on the peak of the roof getting ready to start stapling the lights down when Mrs. Johnson and Amber pulled into their driveway.
You could have pushed me over with a feather. I had so hoped to be out of there before they got home. I hadn’t even gotten started.
Swallowing tightly, I nodded to Amber, as she got out of the car. Her eyes were bigger than Texas. She scowled for a moment, then shot her father one of those death ray stares of hers before she hurried into the house.
Mr. Johnson and I worked most of the afternoon. He was going full out. Each dormer had to be framed in lights. Each edge, each window. I didn’t mind though. It felt good to be working. Better than sitting around watching TV. Besides, my insides were able to relax once Amber had gone inside.
After I finished the roof, I began to help him frame the downstairs windows when Amber stepped out with a platter of sandwiches.
“Mom said I had to bring these out,” she said. It looked to me like she had the same scowl she’d had when she’d seen me there earlier. Great, I thought. She is pissed. And, all I did was agree to help her dad.
“Thank you, honey,” Mr. Johnson said, as he continued untangling the lights.
I gave her a quick smile and tried to focus on what I had been doing. But, for some reason, I couldn’t remember how to operate a construction stapler anymore.
The woman was as beautiful as ever. Long auburn hair pulled back in a tight ponytail. A red top and jeans that were a killer. Pure death.
“Listen, I’ll be right back,” Mr. Johnson said, as he gently lowered his ball of lights. “I’ve got to check something inside.” He disappeared into the garage before either Amber, or I knew what was going on.
“But ...” she said, as she watched him disappear, holding that platter of sandwiches like this was the last place on earth she wanted to be.
I glanced at her from under my brow and agreed. Awkward didn’t begin to describe the tension in the air.
Chapter Fourteen
Amber
I was going to kill my father. No jury would ever convict me. How could he do this? Invite Jason over. Then abandon me here like this. A plate of sandwiches in my hand. Like I was some kind of grocery store sample person.
My stomach was as tight as a ball, and my hands were shaking, I was so upset.
When we came home, and I saw Jason up on top of our roof, it brought back memories of him laying shingles for his father. That broad chest and those strong arms. My entire body had jumped into overdrive before I could remember that he wasn’t mine. He would never be mine.
Even now. Those eyes of his and
that silly smile still melted my heart.
And, my mom. How could she do this to me? She knew what was going on. Yet, she forced me to take this food out here. Now, I couldn’t figure out a place to set the plate so I could get back inside.
“I’m sorry,” Jason said from the middle of nowhere.
My stomach clenched even tighter. What did he mean?
“Why?” I asked. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It was my father. He shouldn’t have asked you to help.”
“Not that,” he said. “I’m sorry for everything.”
Now I was confused. Was he sorry for asking me to be his pretend girlfriend? Why? I’d agreed. He’d been right. I’d gotten instant social status. First, as his girlfriend, and then as the girl who let him go. I’d learned a million things about being in a relationship. The most important of which was to avoid the whole fake thing.
I knew that for the rest of my life, I’d never do anything I wasn’t really committed to.
I still couldn’t believe I was standing here with a plate of sandwiches talking to Jason. “I don’t understand,” I said, as I shook my head. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Then, why do I feel like I need to apologize?” he said with a shoulder shrug.
I gave a heavy sigh. The look of pain on his made me want to cry, and I refused to do that in front of him. Instead, I got mad. At him, at me, at the world.
“Listen, Jason,” I said, “I’m not some silly little girl. I knew what I was getting myself in for. And, everything happened exactly like you said it would. No muss, no fuss, in and out.”
He frowned and looked at me for a long moment. His eyes stared into mine, as if he was trying to understand the meaning of life.
“Then, why do I feel like I lost the most important thing that is ever going to happen to me?”
My mind froze. Came to an instant stop.
What was he saying?
I looked back at him, as I tried to fathom what he was talking about.
He gave another shoulder shrug and turned to finish the lights.
“Hey,” I said, as I reached out to pull him around to face me. “What did you mean by that?” I asked.
He looked at me grimaced. “It doesn’t really matter. Forget it. You lived up to your end of the deal.”
“No,” I said. I refused to let this end there. We always did that. Let that wall of awkward keep us from talking. Really talking.
“No,” I said again. “What did you mean by that? That you felt like you lost something.”
He smiled sadly, “Just that the day you broke up with me. I was thinking of seeing if we could maybe change the arrangement. But, you caught me in time. Reminded me that it was only pretend.”
“Well, that was what we agreed to, remember?” I said, as my heart began to race. “It was you who didn’t want a girlfriend, who wanted pretend.”
“I know,” he said, as he nodded his head. “But, at the time, I was an idiot.”
The silence between us grew, as I tried to understand what he was saying.
“Jason,” I said in exasperation, “just tell me what you want to tell me.”
He looked at me for a long moment. I stopped breathing while I waited.
“I wanted to stop pretending,” he said with a small smile.
“Well, we did that,” I answered. “When we broke up.”
“No, No,” he said. “Not that. I wanted us to be real. I wanted the world to see the true us. I wanted you to feel towards me the way I had come to feel towards you. I was going to ask you that day if you wanted to maybe change it to real girlfriend boyfriend vice pretend. I wanted to have my favorite love. The one I was meant to have.”
My heart stopped. Did he mean it?
“But ... I thought ...” the words refused to come.
He gave me another sad shrug, then turned back to finish the lights.
My world spun. Then, he turned away from me.
No, not anymore, I thought. I pulled him back around and threw my arms around his neck and pulled him into a deep kiss. The deepest, longest, most wonderful kiss a girl ever had. I tried to tell him how much I loved him with that kiss.
He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me against him. The world spun, the universe floated, and my life had meaning.
As we pulled away from each other only a little, he smiled down at me and said, “I take it that is a yes?”
“Yes, yes, Yes,” I said, as I started to kiss him again.
At some point, I think I heard my father come back outside. At least he had enough sense to go back into the house. It really wouldn’t have mattered. Nothing in this world was getting me out of Jason’s arms. Not today. Not ever.
Epilogue
Amber
Jason’s house on Christmas day was as crowded as the mall on Christmas Eve. There must have been at least thirty people there. Cousins, aunts, and uncles that I would never remember who was related to whom. My parents, Luke and Tank were there, off in the corner. I had no idea where Nick might be. But, he’d show up eventually. Everyone I cared about was here.
I smiled to myself, as Jason came downstairs and called me over with a twitch of his eyebrow.
“What?” I asked, as I wrapped my arm around his waist.
He smiled down at me, then up at the ceiling. “Mistletoe,” he said with a big smile.
I laughed and turned so that he could kiss me.
“You do know that you don’t need a reason?” I said, as I laughed.
He smiled back. “Your dad and mom are here, it gives them an excuse to ignore our kisses.”
That was my Jason. Always thinking about other people.
“So, you’re saying that you wouldn’t kiss me unless there was mistletoe.”
He laughed. “Girl, you are my favorite love. You will always be my favorite and only love. If we didn’t have mistletoe. I’d have to invent some. Either that, or pull you into the broom closet.”
“Shut up,” I said, “and kiss me.”
He laughed and his lips touched mine.
This is what life was supposed to be like. This pure love. This pleasure in the simple things and in knowing that your favorite love was there with you. And, would always be there with you.
Life doesn’t get any better than this, I realized, as I kissed my favorite love.
The End
Author’s Note
Thank you for reading ‘My Favorite Love.' I would love to know what you think of it. My readers make it possible for me to do what I love. I am always grateful and excited to hear from you. Please stop by my website GLSnodgrass.com or send me an Email at [email protected]. Feel free to sign up for my newsletter. I use my newsletter to announce new releases and give away free books.
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I have placed the first chapter of my book One Night at the end. I hope you like it.
One Night
Chapter One
I was so mad I could have cursed. If I was the type of person who cursed that is. As a preacher’s daughter, I’d learned early that cursing wasn’t acceptable. But, the way I felt just then really tested everything I’d been taught.
“Come on, Jenny,” my soon to be ex-best friend Laura Montgomery hissed at me.
“Laura,” I said, “they’re higher than Mount Rainer. No way am I getting into a car with them.”
The sweet reek of pot permeated the area like a London fog. Both, Billy Timms and Justin Parks, couldn’t stop smiling at each other as they sat in Billy’s beat up Honda waiting for us.
I swore Laura couldn’t think straight when it came to Billy Timms. He’d finally deigned to talk to her last week, and now it seemed the world revolved around the boy.
I shook my head at h
er. “No Laura, I’m serious. You shouldn’t either.”
She gave me that patented Laura look. The one that said she thought I was letting my Preacher’s Daughter complex rule my life.
“Jenny Brewster,” she said with her hands on her hips, “I don’t want to sit on that crappy bus for the next three hours, surrounded by a bunch of stupid freshmen. We’re both over eighteen. We got permission from Mrs. Thompson. Come on, this is our chance. Live a little.”
“That’s why I’m not getting in that car with them,” I said. “I want to live.”
I wondered if I was letting my goody two shoes standards lead me. But, no. that wasn’t it. It wasn’t smart. These guys were stoned out of their gourd.
“Pot’s legal now,” Laura said, as if that was what was stopping me.
“Not when you’re driving,” I hissed back. I was unable to believe she was acting like this. She must have it really bad for Billy.
Laura looked at me for a long second, then shook her head. “You’re hopeless,” she said, as she tossed her hair over her shoulder and marched to the car.
Billy told his friend to jump in the back.
Justin got out with a heavy scowl on his face, mumbling something about bros before hoes. He held the rear door to the Honda and shot me a look, raising an eyebrow, asking if I wanted in.
Laura looked over the car’s roof, waiting.
I bit my lip and shook my head. I wasn’t getting in that car with those two. My dad would kill me.
Laura rolled her eyes and threw her arms up in the air, and climbed into the car. Billy glanced at me and smiled, then said something to the others that made them laugh.
Jerk.
He dropped the car into gear and sped off, leaving a cloud of blue smoke and the distant rattle of a car choking to death.
Great!
The bus it was then.
Pulling my coat tight against the biting wind, I grabbed my violin case and turned for the front of the performance hall. I could just see it now, spending three hours of Christmas Eve on a school bus. A bus filled with band nerds. What could be better?
My Favorite Love (The Lakeland Boys Book 1) Page 10