by Anne Hansen
Gio stares, all the wind sucked out of his sails. I don’t think he saw it coming, his brother finally standing up to him.
“Do you know where the money came from?” Gio demands, and my father lunges at him. Gio scuttles back so fast, he almost trips over his shiny shoes.
“I already told you, my boy isn’t answering to you, and neither am I. It’s time you backed down and learned your place,” my father snarls.
A silent crowd has gathered around. Gio has some slippery looking characters at his back, a few I recognize from the shop. Dad has me and Dom, Leo, Red, Louie, and Keira.
Though, obviously, I’d get Keira the hell out if anything really broke loose.
I notice someone else coming up behind us. It’s Mr. and Mrs. Lombardi and David, with Lily at their side. As soon as they see all six-foot-seven of packed muscle coming at them, the guys behind Gio visibly back off.
“Is there some confusion about the entrance fee?” Mr. Lombardi booms.
Gio glares at Mr. Lombardi. “This is family business. You can kindly fuck off and stay out.”
Mr. Lombardi stands tall next to me. “Vin Moretti is my family. I owe him a debt I can never repay. And I lent him the money. So you can kindly fuck off and stay out, Gio.”
The group behind us breaks into laughter and Gio shakes his head, sneering. “Laugh now. I always come out on top.”
Gio stalks away and the last line-up is called to the front. I notice Gio leaned by the judges table, talking and laughing with them, and feel my blood go cold.
When I get in my car this time, it’s a little harder to get out of my own head. Knowing all the people I care about in my life are right there, waiting for me to tie this up keeps me motivated…and scares the shit out of me.
This time, I fly just as fast as I have before, but I catch something from the corner of my eye. It’s the barest blur of bright yellow—the custom ’01 Camaro from Gio’s shop is nose to nose with me.
We pass the finish line in a blur, and I’m sure I came out just a few inches in front. I pull off and watch the judges point to the Camaro. Gio looks right at me and shakes his head, the grin on his face pure arrogance.
In a few short seconds everything we worked for is gone. There’s no win for the underdog because, I realize, this is the way it is.
The bad guy gets ahead. The good guy gets fucked.
That’s the way it always is and always will be, and I have no idea why I thought that after years working on the side of dark, I could suddenly be some hero.
I grip the steering wheel and take a few seconds to accept just how screwed I am before I force myself to get out of the car and face the disappointment of every person I’ve ever cared about.
“What?” I grab Red’s arm. “Is he insane? Vin was clearly the winner. This can’t be happening. This can’t—”
My voice cracks. I understand better than anyone else why Vin needed this. How much this would have changed things for him.
Now what?
“This race is done and over, baby,” Red says, but the look on his face is pure fury. “But that doesn’t mean the fat lady sang. Not just yet.” He jumps up on the judges table and cups his hands over his mouth.
“Hey y’all!” The spectators and racers who were milling around, rehashing what just went down and getting ready to leave, stop and look at Red. “I don’t know about all of you, but something just didn’t sit right with that last race!”
There are a ton of cheers and a few loud boos from where Vin’s uncle’s crew is gathered.
“Are you saying that wasn’t a clean win?” Gio yells, holding his arms out at his sides and laughing. “Sorry your boy just wasn’t fast enough, but there’s no reason to be a poor sport.”
“Oh, I know what I saw.” Red sneers at Gio. “I been around the block a few times. I know how things go down. But, in the spirit of total fairness, I’d like to propose one last heat.”
Gio waves his hand, brushing Red off. “We just proved we have the fastest car on this track. We’re not interested in humiliating my nephew a second time tonight. Now, I think we’re gonna take our winnings home with us. Good night.”
Red laughs. “If you don’t think that flashy little car of yours can make it one last race, that’s just fine. And I wasn’t going to ask you to race Vin. Nah. That would be more of the same. I was gonna propose my old Dart here, and my young god-daughter, Keira.”
Gio turns on his heel and slashes a hand in front of his body. “Absolutely not, old timer. If your car manages to get down the track at all, it’s not in any shape to race a high performance vehicle like we’ve got here. And that little lady? Too dangerous. The answer is ‘no.’”
Red takes a wad of cash from his coat pocket and drops it on the judges’ table. “Well, let’s sweeten the pot. I’ll throw in twenty-five thousand of my own. You race my old car with my sweet god-daughter driving, and we agree winner takes all.”
The crowd goes completely wild. One of the big bouncers who was lurking by the gate flips through the money, running his fingers over the bills and scanning it with his UV light. He nods to let the judges know it’s good.
Gio looks to the judges like he wants them to run interference. Again.
The head judge shrugs. “We see no problem if it’s your own independent race. Of course, we’ll need compensation for the use of our track.”
“Oh, of course,” Red says, winking. “You can take your cut of the purse when the race is over.”
Now the judges and the crowd are eager to see this play out.
And I’m quietly attempting not to have a heart attack right here on the asphalt.
The driver of the Camaro comes over, whispers to Gio, nods at me, laughing condescendingly, and Gio’s mouth goes from a grim line to a slimy smile.
“I don’t think it’s fair to the little lady, but why not? It’ll be a good lesson about knowing your limits. Whenever you’re ready.”
“Fifteen minutes!” I yell before Red can tell them I’m good to go now. “I just need fifteen minutes.”
Gio nods his head like an emperor granting a lowly subject a favor. “Please. Go ahead and powder your nose or whatever you need to do, sweetheart.”
I tune out the crude laughs and pull out my cell.
I’ve done some things my father isn’t happy with, but this is too far. “Dad,” I say the minute he gets on the line. “Come to the marsh road on the edge of 35 now.”
To my father’s credit, he doesn’t ask anything other than if I’m okay. When I assure him I am, he hangs up, and I wait, biting my lip. Vin comes stalking over to me, and I can read the disapproval in his body language.
“No,” he says, shaking his head. “This isn’t your fight, Keira. This was my battle to win or lose. I lost. I’m man enough to accept that. You can’t do this.”
I swallow hard. The truth is, I’m not sure I would have agreed if Red actually asked me. It’s been years. The last time I was so young, there were no stakes, my gorgeous mother was waiting to catch me in a hug when I was done.
This is a part of me that’s quiet, secret. A part of me I don’t just put on display.
But this isn’t about me. It’s about so many more people and so much more is at stake if I don’t do this than my own feelings.
“I can win,” I say, taking his hands in mine and squeezing. “I can win the money.”
“That’s not the answer,” he says, pulling me into his arms. “I’ll figure something else out.”
I raise my eyebrows high. “Really? Like what?” I hate the way his face falls. I put a hand on his cheek. “This isn’t your problem, Vin. Look around.” He lifts his head and scans the groups of people behind us, all of them standing shoulder to shoulder, ready to support him in any way they can. “We love you. All of us. And we have your back.”
“But…I—” He shakes his head, then looks back at me, his eyes wide with shock. “I had to do this. To prove this.”
I shake my head slowly. “Wron
g. Love doesn’t work like that, Vin. We’re all in this.”
The slam of a car door makes us look up. My father is racing past the big guys at the guest entrance, apparently not worried about being chased by men so huge, their footfalls make the ground shake.
I throw a hand up. “He’s my father!” I cry.
They recognize me as the racer who just added twenty-five thousand dollars to this event and back off.
“Keira,” Dad says, looking around. “What the hell are you doing here? I made it clear I didn’t want you doing this.”
“Sir,” Vin says, standing out in front of me. “Keira was only here to watch me. And I can’t tell you how much her support meant. But I’m done racing, and I think you should take her home now.”
“Vin.” I say his name sharply. “That isn’t your call to make.” I look at my father, the deep lines around his mouth and dark circles under his eyes highlighted by the harsh lights set up to face the track. “Dad, I need to run one heat. One. It will barely last a minute or two. I know you’re not comfortable with it, but I’m their only hope.”
“No,” Vin objects, looking right at my father. “Sir, please, listen. This has absolutely nothing to do with Keira. She needs to leave.”
“Keira?” Dad looks around like he’s fallen down the rabbit hole and just realized he landed in Wonderland. “Is this dangerous?”
I could lie. It would be stupid to do that. “Nothing is one hundred perfect safe, Dad, this included. But I know what I’m doing.”
“This is what you did with your mother?” He turns in a slow circle, looking around.
I nod.
“She taught you to drive? To race?” he asks, his voice a low scratch.
“Yes,” I whisper. “And that’s why I can win this. Because there was no one better than Mom.”
“One race?” My father holds up his index finger, and I can see how tired he is and how lost.
I nod again.
He closes his eyes and shakes his head. “Thank you…for asking me. For letting me be here.” He pulls me into his arms. “Be careful. I love you more than anything in this world, Keira. Be careful.”
“Of course,” I murmur, hugging him as tight as I can. “I love you, too.”
I turn to Vin, whose eyes are stricken. “You’re really doing this?”
“Yes,” I say.
He unhooks my mother’s necklace and puts it back around my neck, then kisses me hard. He leans his forehead on mine. “I don’t know what the hell to say to you.”
“Wish me luck,” I suggest.
He laughs. “Why? You don’t need it.” He kisses me again. “Fast and hard, baby. I love you.”
“I love you,” I tell him, kissing him one more time.
“If we’re done with all the heartfelt scenes, we can start the race,” Gio yells impatiently.
I walk over to the Dart, slide into the driver’s seat, and press the key Red hands me into the ignition. The purr of the motor is like a song only I know the words to, one I can feel because I’m humming it myself.
“Make your mama proud,” Red whispers.
Two tears run down my face. I don’t bother to wipe them away. “I will.”
I pull up to the starting line and glance up at the moon, so big and round, like a promise.
“I miss you, Mom,” I whisper, clutching the gold cross tight.
Why? I’m right here, baby.
I whip my head to the side, half-sure I’ll see her sitting there, her eyes dancing, a smile on her face.
But the passenger seat is empty. I squeeze my eyes shut, tighten my hands over the steering wheel, and feel the power swell up through me, like the motor isn’t under the hood of this car, but inside my chest, fueling this race.
The flag drops. I gun the engine, and I fly.
As many times as I told Vin to let go, I never have.
Not since my mother died, not since that dark, black hole blew through my world. I’ve never let myself go entirely and wash over with the power and joy of doing what I love to do. She’s with me now, I know, and I’m free, finally, of all the fear and sadness that had me trapped at a standstill.
The car shoots down the strip, the outside world a roaring, flashing blur. My heart pumps so fast and hard, I can’t hear a single other sound. I’m blinking, swallowing, using my hands to steer and shift and my foot to depress the pedals, but I’m also beyond everything happening in the car.
I am the speed.
I am the power.
There’s nothing faster than I am.
The finish line feels like some kind of trick. I want to keep racing, faster and faster, beyond fuel, beyond metal, beyond everything.
But that’s the point where you have to grab back on after letting go.
My foot finds the brake. My body settles back into itself. The car comes to a a smooth stop, I step out on shaky legs, and I fall into Vin’s arms. I hold so damn tight, there’s no letting go.
The crowd is going wild, other than Gio, who storms away, furious and calling foul on my clear victory.
I’m embraced, kissed, propped up on shoulders and treated like a victor. My father cries. I’m pretty sure I’m hallucinating when I see him shaking Red’s hand, then Louie’s. The Lombardis dance with their hands thrown in the air, Lily at their side. Vin’s father and brother and Leo all stand, arms crossed, huge smiles on their faces. Life is about to change in ways none of us thought was possible before Vin decided to put up a fight for what was right and good.
And I’m filled with pride that I could help him, show him that it’s not him against the world.
It’s us.
I’m glad everyone is full of joy, but I’m only happy when I’m pressed back in Vin’s arms.
“You did it,” he says, running a hand over my hair. “Damn, the way you drive is sexy.”
“If you think the way I drive is sexy, you’re in for a surprise when you take me home with you tonight.” I look at the raw hunger on his face and my heart swells. “Are you ready for all this? Everything is about to change, Vin.”
He shakes his head, cups my face in his hand. “Not everything. Not the way I feel about you, Keira. That never has changed and it never will.”
He wraps me in his arms and I stand on my toes to kiss him, long and hard in this perfect, amazing night that changed everything and nothing in all the best ways.
We pull up to Eastside High’s Italian Festival in Vin’s Mustang. Vin keeps his hand firmly on my thigh, inching my tiny skirt up higher every second.
“You’re sure you want to go to this?” he asks, leaning over and kissing my neck.
I laugh and push him back. “Yes. Your mother has two different sauces—”
“Gravies,” he corrects, then shrugs at my sigh. “Sorry, babe. You wanna be an honorary Moretti today? It’s ‘gravy.’”
“Okay, your mother has two different gravies in the contest, your sister is supposed to be dancing later, and there are rides. I love rides!”
“Oh no.” Vin shakes his head. “I know that gleam in your eyes, Keira. You’re gonna win some ridiculously huge koala bear or boa constrictor and make me carry it around for the whole night.”
I give him a shocked look. “Vin Moretti! What are you thinking? If I’m going to win you anything, it will be a giant unicorn. Now come on, I’m awesome at the ring toss, and I heard a rumor they have some big, sparkly purple ones!”
I love the way he groans like my suggestion is killing him. I love the way he scowls when I try to pay for my own ticket, lemonade, ride pass, and balloon. I love the way, when we bump into his old friends, he seems so crazy proud to introduce me.
“Josh Weston?” Vin stops on the way to the Ferris wheel and points to a very cute blond guy with a military haircut and flashing blue eyes. “I thought you were in Afghanistan. How the hell are you? Dom is here somewhere…”
“Yeah, I’m meeting up with him later. He’s off hitting on Ms. Italian Eastside, I think. She had problems with he
r Fiat,” Josh says with a chuckle, then clears his throat. “I came home from my tour a little early. I don’t know if you heard about Ms. Frannie…”
Vin nods and pulls me closer to his side. “I heard. I’m so damn sorry man. She was an angel.”
“Thanks. She was one of a kind, no doubt about it. The world’s a little drearier without her around.” Josh clears his throat, then glances at me and looks over at Vin with raised eyebrows.
“Sorry, man! This is my girlfriend,” Vin says, grinning from ear to ear. “Keira, this is Josh Weston, one of Dom’s oldest friends. He and Dom used to beat the piss out of me and steal my skateboard when we were kids.” They both laugh like those things were excellent memories for them.
“Really nice to meet you, Keira,” Josh says, putting out a hand. We shake, and I smile when I see our classmate, Sunny Pace, coming up behind Josh with a bag of pink and blue cotton candy in her hand.
That’s when it hits me.
Ms. Frannie was Sunny’s foster mother, the woman who’d raised her. I remember Mrs. Delani making an announcement about her death when Sunny was absent. She had been a huge force in the community and a wonderful volunteer at the schools. I felt terrible for Sunny, who always seemed so sweet and happy.
I know the kind of crazy darkness that comes with losing your mother, and it’s a pain no one can truly understand unless they experienced it themselves. I give her a warm smile.
“Keira, Vin, you’re both in Sunny’s class, right?” Josh asks, holding his hand out to take Sunny’s.
“Yes,” I answer, but I don’t say anything else because I notice something gleaming on Sunny’s left ring finger, and I wonder if the rumors Lily and David told me could be true…
She walks over to Josh shyly, her long, blond hair hanging in her face. He puts his arm around her shoulders and holds her with a kind of possessiveness that makes it clear they’re a couple.
“I didn’t know you two were—”
“Engaged,” Josh says, interrupting Vin with a quick look at Sunny.