by Soraya Naomi
Feeling suffocated, I loosen my tie, and without a plan of action, I arrive at the skyscraper in the Loop where Logan and Rosalia live. I go up with the elevator, trying to form a strategy. What do I reveal to my boss and what do I omit to protect my wife?
After I knock on the door, Logan opens it and frowns. “Hey, you okay?”
“Yeah, why?”
He motions to my hair that’s disheveled from running my fingers through it and to my loose tie. “You look...stressed?” Then he walks down the hall, so I close the door and follow him up a winding staircase and he adds, “By the way, Adriano’s here.”
Fuck! He knew I would be picking up the twins and came to check if I still have control over this predicament.
At the top floor, I see Adriano biting into a green apple as he stands in the L-shaped kitchen. When I pass him, he arcs a brow, and I pace to the living room that has a sofa set situated against the high windows, and as the clouds break, sunlight pours through the glass.
“She’s so sweet,” little Adam says as he holds Milana with Rosalia sitting next to him to assist.
“She is—hold her head,” she tells him, supporting Milana’s neck before glancing up. “Hey!”
“Have they been good?” I greet her just as Adriano and Logan join us.
“Uncle Luca, Milana was crying, and-and when I held her, she stopped,” Adam announces proudly, hugging her as if she’s a porcelain doll, which is too damn adorable, yet it causes the brick in my throat to return.
“That means she loves you.” I wink at him, and he just beams as Rosalia grabs Milana’s small pink coat.
“We were just going to put on her jacket.”
Then I notice that Noah’s already wearing his coat and is strapped into the car seat, sleeping with his mouth hanging open. Smiling, I sink down next to my son to stroke his scar-free cheek. Regrettably, the events of that Sunday are tearing the bond between Fallon and me. It’s actually the misperception of what exactly happened that day that’s ripping us apart. Fallon’s erratic behavior makes me terrified that she’s slipping away.
When a shadow falls over me, I cast a side-look at Adriano, controlling my movements with more effort than usual to keep it together, even though my mind is all over the place and I don’t know how to proceed. How do I shelter Fallon and my twins when she’s being unpredictable and inserting herself more into the Syndicate with her quest for evidence? Furthermore, what do I tell Adriano to defuse the situation? The answer is nothing. The realization hits me that I have absolutely no control anymore because she has a destructive power over me.
“Luca, did you talk to Fallon?” Adriano asks, point blank, and when I glance at Logan standing opposite me, Adriano adds, “He knows.”
I lean forward, elbows draped over my knee. “I did. She’s making things up and doing things behind my back. It’s like this world is changing her.”
His eyes go wide with that admission. “What do you mean by she’s making things up? And has she tried to find more evidence on her own?”
“She enlisted Tez and claims he told her that a message was deleted. She says Tez is lying either to us or to her.”
There’s a moment of reflective silence before Adriano probes, “Do you believe her?”
And then Logan comments, “I’ve never known Fallon to lie, but she’s throwing around risky accusations.”
I ignore both statements. Even if I did believe her, the evidence says something to the contrary. More importantly, she aimed a gun at Henry without regard for the consequences, as if she’s teetering on the edge of madness – while I balance on the edge of fury. We’ve created a volatile situation that could explode at any moment, and my children could get stuck in the crossfire.
“I want to check her phone myself to end this discussion,” I put in.
“I don’t want you to say any of this to Tez yet.” Adriano’s voice goes flat and hard. “I thought you had her under control, but she’s creating difficulties within management. You scour that phone with Henry, and if he verifies that she’s lying, I need you to take definitive action. So far, we’ve had no issues whatsoever during the remodel, and I don’t need Fallon to cause problems. She’s your responsibility.”
Emotions riot within me as I rake both my hands through my hair, and Adriano expels a sigh.
“Look, Luca, you’ve both been distant. But if she’s lying to you, then you’ve entered dangerous territory – she has to learn to let it go. I know you feel the need to protect her, but the way you’ve been doing it so far isn’t helping. What do you want to do?” he urges me to give an answer, knowing that I don’t have one. “If she needs help, then we need to provide it—”
“No! She’s my wife and I take care of her. Don’t go there.” My throat burns as I inhale a deep breath and summon my composure. “I’ll check her phone and we’ll decide what to do from there,” I suggest, postponing what may be inevitable as Rosalia lays Milana down next to Noah in the twin car seat and buckles their belts.
Adriano’s grunt reveals a flash of dismay before he shakes his head yet agrees, “Okay. But get her phone tomorrow and take it to Henry at the club.”
“Fine,” I reply, wanting to get out of here just when Adam hops over to us and strokes Noah’s tiny hand. “Michael’s at my apartment. I need to go home.” Without saying anything else to Logan or Adriano, I bend low to address Adam, “Thank you for babysitting the twins.”
“Can I play with them again?”
“Anytime you want, buddy,” I say, and he throws his arms around my neck. I pick him up as I rise, kissing his cheek. “Just call me or Auntie Fallon whenever you want to see the twins, okay?”
“Okay,” he pipes in before I let him slide down.
Righting the handle of the car seat, I take hold of it, and after a nod to Adriano, I walk toward the spiral staircase and leave while Adriano’s forbidding words echo in my mind.
If she needs help, then we need to provide it.
CHAPTER 21
Fallon
MY HEART’S BEING RIPPED from my chest while Luca’s dark gaze holds mine until the elevator swooshes closed. As I stand in my lavish living room, staring at the spot where my husband stood not two seconds before, a feeling of pure misery comes over me and a tear trickles to the hardwood floor.
Then the elevator pings unexpectedly, notifying me of a visitor and snapping me out of my trance. I press the camera button, which switches on the screen, and I see that Michael’s waiting at my door. Pushing the neighboring button, I open the elevator and he enters the penthouse.
“Why are you here?” I ask, and a crease wrinkles his forehead.
“Luca texted me to meet him.”
I assess him, wondering if Luca sent him to babysit me.
“Are you okay?” he probes.
Ignoring my instinct, I don’t reveal what I learned about Tez or that Luca discovered I went out investigating on my own. I obey Luca, though it doesn’t feel right.
“I’m fine,” I respond, treading to the windows and watching the grey clouds scatter after the pouring rain has stopped.
Michael goes into the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. Fortunately, he senses my mood and remains quiet.
As my thoughts assault me, I berate myself for acting rashly about Henry showing up here. But fear can force a person to make split-second decisions without considering the consequences. Some you’ll regret, some you’ll thank the lord you listened to your instinct. However, now my gut is screaming that I may have made a mistake by suspecting him. It seems that Tez lied to me because he wanted me to doubt Henry. Or is Henry being dishonest too? Could something be up between Henry and Tez? Or maybe Tez lied to Luca, making it appear as if I’m truly unstable, possibly even crazy.
Even though not all of these scenarios feel right to me, I am positive that Tez has a significant part in this chaos – perhaps he wants to obtain an official rank? He’s the one man who isn’t a high rank, but as the manager of the club, he has to have
overheard Luca call me dolcezza at least once, so he’d know about the nickname.
I try to remember my conversation with Tez verbatim, but the only thing I’m sure about is that he specified the date a text was erased, which led me to think Henry did it. It makes no sense that Tez told Luca he didn’t find anything on my phone.
I knew someone was playing with me! But who else is involved? Is Henry really innocent?
Although I should feel thrilled about my discovery, a sense of gloom overcomes me. As I get closer to the truth, I’m only incensing Luca, yet one of us needs to solve this, and since he’s been unable to hold himself together, I need to figure out what’s going on. I understand that he’s worried and mad, but does he have to shut down completely? I’m not sure how to deal with this overbearing side of Luca.
At that moment, the elevator glides open again and Luca steps inside the penthouse, effortlessly holding the car seat with our napping twins, who look like Michelin dolls all wrapped in their thick coats.
I smile sadly as Luca places the seat on the couch and beckons Michael over. Without a word to me, Luca leads Michael to the door where they whisper back and forth before Michael jumps into the elevator as it closes. Then Luca turns around, his commanding presence more hostile than usual.
Trying to ignore the intensity of Luca’s focus on me, I close the distance to the twins, going to my knees and unzipping their coats. But when I release Milana’s tiny arm from her jacket, I feel that her fingers are ice-cold.
“Oh, were you cold, baby?” I murmur, smooching her hand to warm it.
Being with my children lifts my spirits immediately, and for a few moments, I’m able to put their brooding father out of my mind. I still can’t believe how adorable they are in their blue and pink clothes, and I grin inwardly as I gently squeeze both their feet, wanting to bite them because they’re too cute.
But I snap back to reality when, all of a sudden, Luca sits down next to the car seat, his angular face wreathing with anguish as he stares at me. Usually, his green eyes glimmer with love, yet now, they burst with uncertainty and anger.
Tentatively, I mutter, “Please talk to me.”
Luca steels his jaw.
“Did you speak with Henry? Does Adriano know what happened between Henry and me? You’re scaring me.”
“I’m scaring you?” he bristles. “You are terrifying me. But to answer your questions: I did talk to Henry and this will remain a secret – as long as you never pull a stunt like this again.”
“I won’t, but how do you expect me to protect myself?”
“By coming to me,” he grinds out.
I keep my voice soft to get through to him and shift to the side on my knees until I’m touching his thigh. “I have come to you, but you’ve dismissed my side of the story – constantly.”
“Do you really want to talk about this again?”
“Yes, because that’s our issue. How something’s going on and if you can’t make any sense of it, you don’t believe me. And you have to understand that I’m not simply a civilian anymore – I can protect myself and our twins. After New Year’s, you promised to let me in more, but the second there’s an incident, you become withdrawn. And now, you’re mad because I’m protecting us.”
“I’m mad because your way of protecting is confusing the entire Syndicate, and you keep involving other people so that I have to do the clean-up.” His tone is sharp.
“No, you choose to do the clean-up to stay in control, but you could give your wife the benefit of the doubt. I’m not stupid.”
“You know I don’t think you’re stupid. I have given you the benefit of the doubt, but then all the evidence points to the contrary. It points to the fact that the most likely scenario is that you’re making things up.”
“Why would I do that?” I implore him to see through his closedmindedness.
“I don’t even think you’re doing it consciously. But this is a fucking mess, Fallon.”
“Then we need to solve it.”
“That’s all I’ve been trying to do, but your volatile behavior concerns me.” He looks at Noah and then at me questioningly.
“I’d never do anything to harm them, Luca. You know that.” Defeated by Luca’s level of aggravation, I lean back.
He holds my hand on his thigh and says, “I know. When you’re yourself, you’re the sweetest mother there is, but that aside, you’re also always a million miles away lately.”
“Because I feel that we’re missing something. We have to confront Tez.”
His striking face hardens. “I’ll speak with Tez.”
“Thank you,” I reply. That means there’s a sliver of hope that he does trust me; he’s just afraid to completely relinquish control.
I meet his stony gaze and don’t know what to do or say to make things better. And neither does he, it seems. While ordinarily, we’re each other’s sanctuary, right now, when we should be enjoying this time of being new parents, everything’s being overshadowed by other business and we’ve failed to keep the mafia outside our home. However, this is where we are and I won’t break down. I just pray that Luca doesn’t either.
Needing to feel close to him, I rest my head in his lap. The scent of him teases me, making me grasp how much I miss him. Yet I quickly realize that I shouldn’t have initiated the intimacy because instead of caressing my hair, his body goes rigid. I can almost sense the rage that’s still coursing through his veins, and it seems that our conversation hasn’t really solved anything. As I grimace to fight back tears, my eyes fall closed until he speaks, “I have to go.”
My gaze shoots up and I stumble to my feet when he stands. “Where are you going?”
Rounding the couch, Luca straightens the lapels of his navy blue jacket. “Work.”
He means the club. I can’t help but wonder if he’s going to drink away our problems – I threw the only bottle of liquor we had in the cabinet in the trash. Nonetheless, I’m so dumbfounded by his desire to be away from me that I’m struck mute and merely stare at his back. When he moves into the elevator, his unreadable expression has been summoned and he watches me sternly. I turn away before the doors close, despising how he’s able to escape our issues.
I take in a deep breath before shifting to the twins to lift Noah out of the car seat and lay him in the bassinet. Then I pick up Milana and drop down on the couch while smelling her hair and relaxing. Although I become more disheartened as time passes and there’s no sign of Luca.
I eat dinner and nurse the twins. I’d planned to do tummy time with Luca, but in the end, I coax Noah and Milana to learn to lie on their stomachs by myself at around eight.
In the space of several agonizing hours, I wait for Luca, but he doesn’t show. At midnight, I crawl into bed, stashing my gun on the nightstand, and glower at the perfectly white-painted ceiling. I lie in our extravagant master suite alone, realizing I’ve never felt lonely in this marriage until now.
Ultimately, I fall into a restless sleep while I pray that he comes home at any second.
CHAPTER 22
Fallon
IT’S FIVE A.M. WHEN I’m giving Noah his bottle as he lies beside me on my bed. Only the bit of remaining moonlight reflecting through the high windows illuminates the room as a firestorm of sadness descends upon me. It’s hell to be waiting for Luca, to have to guess where he is in the middle of the night. And I miss my husband so much that it strikes a profound fear in me, on top of my disappointment in him.
But my heart is in his clutches, and my love for him always conquers all other emotions. Because when he’s himself, he’d never pull away from me or disappear. Quite the opposite, when he trusts and adores me, our love is all consuming. Our marriage was pure bliss last year when we were pregnant and had the twins – all the way up until New Year’s Eve.
But Luca and I have changed. I’m becoming more cautious and in control, yet he’s stuck in his head about how to protect us. Unfortunately, love in the mafia is volatile for the simple reason t
hat it’s impossible to anticipate a powerful man’s reaction to a situation. I just never imagined Luca alienating himself from me so fast.
When I hear the elevator opening, I carry on feeding Noah. Footsteps near the bedroom until Luca’s strong, toned frame darkens the doorway. I study his tired gaze and then look down, his constant hardened features too much for me.
He crosses the room and goes into the bathroom, and after a few minutes, he returns, wearing his grey sweats, just as I burp Noah and place him inside the crib.
“I’ll give Milana her bottle,” Luca speaks, so I nod without glancing at him as he picks up Milana who’s beginning to fuss.
Exhausted, I climb back into bed. To my surprise, Luca follows suit and leans against the headboard to feed Milana.
Swiping the covers over my hips, I watch them, blinking back tears as I murmur, “Where were you, Luca?”
“The club,” he replies, observing Milana intently.
Of course – his standard answer. But what was he doing at Club 7? It’s closing in three days anyway. Maybe he was talking to Tez? Or maybe he was drinking with the blonde bartender?
Meeting his eyes, I notice the red veins in them are more pronounced, but it could very well be fatigue. He opens his mouth but then closes it and an uncomfortable silence stretches on. It’s as though neither of us knows how to communicate with the other, which is unlike us.
Meanwhile, Milana dozes off before she’s finished her bottle and Luca settles her between us as a barrier. Then he shifts under the blankets, and as both of us lie on our backs, I stay quiet because everything I say seems to ignite his anger.
How did we end up here? Moreover, how many punches can a heart that’s in love take?
For a long while, I listen to the wind rustling past the windows, and when I turn my head to the left, I see that his eyes are shut.
Ever so slowly, I lean over Milana, freezing when Luca moves his hand to rest on his stomach, yet he remains asleep. I dip down close to his mouth and inhale a breath, not smelling alcohol.