by Robyn Nyx
“She’s drifting in and out. I’m going to get some water. Give me a shout if anything changes.”
Mason moved to leave, but Landry held out her arm to stop her. “Thank you for saving her.”
“One of the reasons Jenkin gave me this gig was because of my medical training. It wasn’t just because my dad is on the board.” She smiled and patted Landry on the shoulder. “I know what she means to you. Monumental fuckup aside, she’s your family.”
Landry laughed. “That’s one way of putting it.”
“What way would you put it?”
Landry had never been so pleased to hear Delaney’s quiet, croaky voice. Mason smiled and left. Landry made her way to the gurney, and if it hadn’t been for Mason’s assurance that Delaney was stable, her pallid face would have worried her.
“I look as bad as I feel, then?”
Landry’s expression must have given her thoughts away, and she grinned. “You look pretty fucked up, buddy.”
“Feel free to go find me some blood. Mason says I lost a fair amount, but you, Sledge, and her aren’t my blood type. No surprise given how my luck’s been going for a while.”
“Maybe that’s a suggestion for the board—only send extractors and operatives with the same blood type in case shit like this happens.”
“I imagine they’re going to make sure nothing like this can ever happen again.”
Delaney’s tone was hopeful but probing. It was clear she wanted to know what lay ahead of her when she returned.
Landry hesitated, unsure how much to tell her. She deserves to know. “You want to know what happens when we get home?”
Delaney pressed her lips together and wrinkled her nose. “That’d be great. I know there’s not going to be a welcoming party, but it’d be nice to know exactly what to expect.”
“Remember your contract?” Landry waited until Delaney nodded. “Mom’s perfected the mind wipe tech, and she’s got it down with unerring accuracy.”
Delaney looked resigned to her fate and managed to shrug. “Guess I’ve got that coming. Jade’s not had any side effects?”
“She never used it on Jade. And Jenkin knows she didn’t, too. There’s lots of changes planned. They’re seriously thinking of going public with the regenerative tech, at least to help people with severe injuries at first.”
Delaney smiled. “That was all bullshit? And what about you two love birds breaking up? That was bullshit, too?”
“Sorry, buddy.”
“When will they rewind my mind to?”
“I think to before you were recruited to Pulsus. They’ll set you up with a little money and locate you near your home town.” Landry didn’t miss the sadness that blanketed Delaney’s eyes. “You don’t want to lose Ilsa?”
Delaney exhaled a short breath and closed her eyes. “I’ve already lost her.”
Landry placed her hand over Delaney’s. She felt cold. Landry didn’t respond for a moment while she scanned the machines to check her vitals to make sure everything was okay. “I don’t know what to say, Dee. I don’t know what I’d want—to not have a memory of any of it, or to at least be able to remember what I’d experienced with her. I can’t imagine losing my memories of Jade.” It seemed unfair to mention Jade. Landry got to return to her, to share her bed and her life with. There were no guarantees on how long that might be for, but something was better than nothing, wasn’t it?
“Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?”
Landry lightly punched Delaney on her bicep. “You must be feeling rough to be quoting Shakespeare.”
“Is that who said it? I remember it from a cheesy chick flick a couple of years ago.”
Landry affected an English accent. “The bard’s words are eternal.”
Delaney swiped at Landry, but she was too slow. “Now you sound like an over-educated asshole instead of a super jock time traveler.”
“Seriously, though. Would you rather remember what you had with her and not have it, or not have knowledge of any of it?”
“It’s not just Ilsa I’ll be losing.”
Landry had been avoiding the reality that she’d no longer have Delaney in her life when they returned to 2076. But at least I’ll have my memories of you. “That got real serious real quick.”
“I’ll miss that.”
“What?”
“You covering up real feelings with splashes of humor.”
Landry tipped her head to the side. “You want to know my feelings?”
Delaney smiled. “Yeah, I do. This being in love shit really rips you wide apart with a can opener, doesn’t it?”
“Where’ve your big tough soldier pants gone?”
“Same place as yours.”
They laughed, but Delaney’s request remained, waiting for an answer.
“What do you want me to say, Dee? I’ll miss you? I’m sorry I failed you? I wish none of this had ever happened and you could come back to Pulsus for us to continue running missions together?”
“I want to hear the truth, not what you think I might want to hear. You owe me that. And besides, whatever you tell me is going to be wiped away when we get home anyway, so what’s the big deal?”
Landry put her head in her hands and rubbed her forehead firmly. She dragged her fingers over her face before clasping her hands together in front of her mouth, the subconscious need for a physical barrier to prevent herself from being honest about her emotions apparent in the gesture.
“Okay…I feel like I failed you. There were warning signs and I thought we could handle it without involving anyone else. I underestimated the depth of your feelings for Ilsa, and it wasn’t until I let Jade see me that I began to understand what you were going through.”
Landry took a deep breath, unable to look directly at Delaney while she was talking this openly. “I felt betrayed and let myself get angry at you when I was actually feeling angry at myself. It was the sweetest thing tonight when I saw you standing there, the Delaney I know and love as if you were my own flesh and blood, and I just knew you’d come back from the edge. Part of me doesn’t want to go back to Pulsus because of what they’re going to do to you, and what that means for our friendship.” Landry felt the biting barbs of tears over her eyes, a feeling that was becoming way too familiar. “I…” She paused, trying to control the break in her voice. “I can’t imagine my life without you. You’ve been the steadiest presence in my life, over a particularly volatile time, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do when you leave.” Landry covered her face with her hands once more and swallowed the rise of inevitability now that she’d acknowledged the past and the future.
Delaney reached out and wrapped her hand around Landry’s wrist. “Fuck, that hurt to let out, didn’t it?”
“Like you wouldn’t believe.”
“I don’t know. Let’s see how I feel now that it’s my turn.”
Landry took her hands down and gripped Delaney’s tight. “Go for it.”
“I’m sorry I took our friendship into the L-word territory. You never led me on or gave me any indication that our sex was anything more than us letting off steam and reconnecting with our humanity after a mission. I’m sorry for not fully sharing what was going on in my head.” She batted her own head with her open palm. “If I had, maybe none of this would have happened. I wanted to be better, I wanted Pulsus to be better, and I didn’t deal with any of that well. I wish I’d told you about Ilsa when we were in Germany, and I wished I hadn’t chosen Simson over you. I’m not sorry I fell in love with Ilsa or you. But I am sorry for all of my actions because I fell in love. I accept the mind wipe, and once it’s done, none of this will matter for me, but I’m sorry you’ll remember all of it. I just hope that you remember that our friendship has always been my savior, and I’m sorry for fucking it all up. I hope you can forgive me.”
“Fuck, Dee.”
“There’s a bottle of Presidential next door. Want a drink?”
“After that? Hell, ye
s.”
Landry released her grasp and hobbled to the room Delaney had indicated. She grabbed the bottle and returned. Twisting the cap off, she sat back down and blew out a long breath before taking a long swig of the burning liquid. It’d been a hell of a long time since she’d drunk something this hard, and she coughed as it soared down her throat and coated her stomach with fire. She rubbed the bottleneck and passed it to Delaney.
“A little help?” Delaney indicated her helplessness with a wave of her hand at her prostrate body.
Landry laughed. “Jesus, you only took one bullet. Don’t milk it.” She slipped her arm behind Delaney’s back and helped her upright. Delaney swallowed three or four gulps before she gave up the bottle and nodded for Landry to lay her back down.
“What’s the deal with Sledge, or whatever her name is?”
Landry was thankful for the subject change. Releasing that much emotion and honesty had left her raw. “She’s FBI. Special Agent Brooke Jackson.”
“I knew it. I figured she was FBI or DEA when we got back to your empty ropes.”
Landry nodded. “It was the drive to Muniz that blew it for her, wasn’t it?”
“Oh yeah. She was way too put together for the cover she was hocking. Shame though, she’d played it perfectly up to that point. She reminded me of how you must’ve been at that age, except with less attitude.”
“Screw you. I was never that wet behind the ears.” In truth, she had been. And it wasn’t an insult that Jackson reminded Delaney of her. If she were honest with herself, she’d already seen that, too.
“Whatever. I need to thank her.”
“What for?”
A look of guilt flashed across Delaney’s face. “Releasing you before we got back with Muniz. I don’t know what I would’ve let Simson and the others do to you.”
Landry smiled. “You wouldn’t have let them do anything. You let them have a little fun, but you knew I could handle it. Christ, what they did to me was like foreplay compared to some of the shit we’ve been through together.”
Delaney laughed, then pressed her hand over her chest bandages and grimaced. “Don’t make me laugh. It fucking hurts when I laugh.” She settled down and gave Landry a serious look. “What happens to her now?”
“That kind of depends on what she wants.”
Delaney looked incredulous. “You’ve been authorized to offer her a place at Pulsus?”
“Not exactly.”
Delaney raised her eyebrow and shook her head. “Didn’t you get into enough trouble with the last civilian you took to the island?”
Landry chuckled. “That was different. That was for love.” Landry straightened her shoulders and tried to affect a pompous and self-righteous look. “This would be for the good of Pulsus.”
“How so? What’s so special about her?”
“You said it. She’s like me. I think she’s got potential. She showed a lot of courage when she cut me down, and even more when she followed you and Simson to DC.”
“How did…” She stopped herself, obviously working out the answer before she asked the question. “What happened in DC?”
“She blew you all to kingdom come with that fancy little C4 utility vest Simson made.”
Delaney looked impressed. “She sacrificed herself for a greater good she barely knew about. The little stud’s got some mettle. I see why you want to take her home. Does Mason know?”
“No. Jenkin knows I’m going to bring her home if she really wants to come, once she’s actually given the choice.”
“Jenkin knows? What the hell has happened to that place while I’ve been gone?”
Landry tapped her on the shoulder. “Your actions prompted a lot of rethinking. And it kind of dislodged a wall I’d built in my mind. Turns out Jenkin was quite the mentor to me in my formative years.”
“No shit. Really?”
She nodded. “I kid you not.” And once the wall had come down, she’d easily slipped back into what were old patterns with her.
Mason knocked at the doorframe as she came in. “She needs some water and some rest, Chief, especially if you want to get out of here and home.”
“Sure.” Landry stood, put her hand on Delaney’s shoulder, and squeezed. “Stop fucking around and get better soon, okay?” She didn’t wait for Delaney’s response. It was time to focus on Jackson.
Landry stopped by the window and observed Jackson for a moment as she and Muniz talked. She was impressed by the way Jackson had stayed focused on the mission when she must have a hundred questions about the time travel. She’d also handled herself well with Simson, even though she’d disobeyed a direct order to stay outside with Muniz. Landry had to acknowledge that without Jackson’s intervention, there might have been a much darker ending to the altercation.
Jackson looked up and waved, then pulled her hand down and offered a nod instead. She was clearly trying to contain her enthusiasm and wasn’t sure how to act around Landry. It was time to clear that up. Landry motioned for her to come out.
“Is Delaney…”
Landry found the human inability to deal with the inevitability of death interesting. Few people could just say the words out loud, and fewer still knew the right words to say in the aftermath of death. “She’s alive, but she has to be stronger to go through the time circle. It’s a punishing process, and you have to hold tight to your cosmic string, or you’re gone.” Jackson nodded her understanding. “About that…”
She leaned against the wall and sighed. “You’re not taking me with you.”
Landry couldn’t help but smile. “Are you telling me or asking me?”
“I thought I might save you the trouble. I understand. Why would you take me? I haven’t done anything special.”
Landry shook her head. “Do you want to come with us?”
Jackson’s eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. “Are you serious? Of course I want to.”
Landry held up her hand to encourage caution. “Have you truly considered what going with me means for you, for your life?”
“Sure I have.”
“You say that, but you’ve only known that it was a real possibility for less than twenty-four hours. This is a life-changing decision, Jackson. What about everything you’d leave behind?”
She gave a short laugh and shook her head. “Everything?”
Mason popped her head around the corner. “I’ve sedated Delaney. We won’t be able to move for a few hours. Do you want me to go get some food?”
“Yeah, that’d be great.” Landry pulled out a roll of twenties and tossed it to her. “There’s a pizza place on the corner where we came in, remember?”
She nodded and as she walked past them, she shoved Jackson’s shoulder, knocking her off balance slightly. “You’re not a veggie, are you, Jackson?”
Jackson tried to grab her hand to push her back, but Mason was too quick and had stepped away. “No, I like to gnaw on meat like any good American.”
Landry sighed heavily at Jackson’s response, though she was glad she didn’t go with a more obvious, and offensive, reference. The look of lust that flicked over Mason’s face was conspicuous. I give it two weeks before you’re fucking each other. “Go.” Mason smiled and turned to walk away. Jackson stared at her ass as she milked her exit with a seductive sway of her hips. “Follow me, Jackson.”
Landry led the way along the corridor and went into a smaller room with a couple of tables that would serve as seats. She motioned for Jackson to take one and then sat opposite her. “You were saying about what you were leaving behind.”
“That’s just it, Donovan. I’ve got nothing to leave behind.” She raised her hands then settled back down and gripped the edge of the table. “My family is gone. I’ve blown my career, but in comparison to what you’re doing at Pulsus, it wasn’t much to throw away. And I have no one at home keeping the bed warm.”
And you wouldn’t mind Mason filling that last position. “This wouldn’t be a trial and error deal. If you
come back with me, it’s for the long haul. You do realize that, don’t you?” Landry knew she might be wrong about that. With all the mind wiping going down, if Jackson didn’t make the grade, they might well send her back and rewind her memory to before any of this happened.
“I do. And I’m ready, honestly. I’m not sure what I’ve done to convince you to take me back, but I promise I won’t let you down. I’ll do whatever you need me to do. I want this. I want it so bad I can taste it.”
There was an earnest and genuine quality to Jackson that Landry really liked. She had natural talent, but Landry could also see that she had a competitive edge that would see her training longer and harder with every intention of becoming the best.
“We’ll be leaving before sunrise. Is there anything you need to do before you leave?”
Jackson pulled at the edges of her leather jacket and tapped on the wallet she’d put in her pocket earlier. “I’ve got my lucky jacket, and I picked up everything else I needed from my storage unit. I’m good to go. Is there anything I need to bring, like my ID?”
“No. You’ll get all new paperwork at Pulsus.” It was a slightly nefarious department Pulsus had just in case they had to create a new identity, and predictably, the technology was top-notch. As far as Landry was aware, it had yet to be used. Time to put those resources to use. “You pulled something from your wallet when we were at your lockup. What was that?”
Jackson took out her wallet and withdrew the same small photo as she had earlier. She offered it to Landry. It was a well-worn shot of what Landry assumed was her family.
“That’s my mom, dad, and sister. They all died in a car crash on their way to see me graduate at Quantico.”
“Fuck.” Landry’s research hadn’t borne out that detail.
“Yeah. It took the shine off the whole FBI thing. It was something that felt like fate, and every time I look at my badge, I think about that day.” Jackson took her photo back and gently returned it to her wallet before pushing it back in her jeans. “Maybe that’s why I’m so intent on doing this. It gets me away from that bad association.” She smiled. “And I figure my dad would be really impressed with the work I’ll get to do.”