by Robyn Nyx
“Do you think you deserve a second chance?”
Carson’s question jarred Landry from her speculation. It wasn’t a question either she or Delaney had anticipated.
Delaney scratched her chin and leaned back in her chair. “Do I deserve a second chance?”
Landry knew Delaney disliked Gordon Carson. His lack of respect for operatives was well known. To him, they were a necessary but unwanted cog in the wheel. If he could engineer another way to complete the missions, he would. Landry closed her eyes and prayed that Delaney wouldn’t rise to his provocation.
“Probably not, but it’s not for me to answer that question. My life is in your hands.” Delaney gestured to the eleven women and men who sat around the table in judgment of her actions. “I can’t go back and undo what I’ve done, much as I’d like to. I’m only glad that I stopped when I did, and that nothing came of what I started. I have to hope that you can see the value in keeping me here.” Delaney looked toward Landry. “I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your trust again.”
Landry acknowledged Delaney’s statement with a quick nod. “I think she deserves a second chance, and I’m the one who was most affected by Delaney’s actions. As a board, you’d made hundreds and thousands of calculations about the effects and consequences each mission would have on the past and future, but you neglected to consider how the mission would affect your soldiers’ minds. You can’t punish Delaney for something that’s as much the fault of every one of you around the table as it is hers.” Landry relaxed her clenched hands from around the arms of her chair. In her peripheral vision, she saw Delaney’s half-smile. She was family. She was a member of her team. There was no way Landry was letting her take the fall for all of this.
Jenkin raised her hand, as if to indicate Landry should calm down. “No one is abdicating responsibility or their portion of the blame for this situation, Donovan. We spent a lot of time deliberating into the early hours of this morning, and we’d made a decision that simply needed a few reassurances from Delaney.” She smiled and placed her hands on the table. “We want to keep Delaney here.” Jenkin looked to Delaney. “Dr. Castillo will talk to you about how we’d like to proceed in terms of monitoring your progress, and that will include weekly sessions with her for the foreseeable future. There’s no rush to get you back on a mission, but we do want to remove the unpleasant memories you have of your many decades in the field.” She gestured to Landry’s mom. “Elena will take care of that for you, and you’ll be able to keep the positive elements, too. Does that sound like an acceptable compromise to you?”
Jenkin’s question was directed as much to Landry as it was to Delaney, but Landry didn’t answer. This was Delaney’s call, her life, her mind.
Delaney nodded. “That’s a more generous offer than I could’ve hoped for. I accept your terms.”
Jenkin motioned toward the door. “Then you’re welcome to leave.”
Delaney pushed her chair back and stood. “Can I leave the island?”
“Of course.” Castillo smiled and seemed genuine. “Please just let us know your intended movements. I’d like to touch base with you in the next few days to work out a schedule of appointments.”
Landry joined Delaney and opened the door. “Rest assured I’ll keep tabs on her, Doc.” Delaney exited and she followed, closing the door behind them.
“Take me off this island, and let me experience some normality for a while.”
Landry slapped Delaney on the back and pushed her along the corridor. “Sure thing, buddy. Let’s go visit the kid.”
Everything had gone as well as it could’ve. Delaney got to keep her job and her memories, and she seemed happy about it. So why do I feel like I could do more?
Chapter Thirty-five
“How’s it going?” Landry could see from the look on Jackson’s face that she was a little overwhelmed. And Mason raised her eyebrows, offering a tight-lipped smile that indicated Jackson might be struggling with her new surroundings. Landry put her arm around Jackson’s shoulders and pulled her away to another room, leaving Delaney and Mason to shoot the breeze.
She sat on the couch, indicated for the still silent Jackson to join her, and waited for her to gather her words.
“This place is crazy,” Jackson said after a few minutes.
Landry expected more, but when it was clear nothing else was forthcoming, she smiled. “Nothing would ever have prepared you for this, you know that, right?”
“What if I’m never ready? What if you were wrong? What if I let you down? What if I forget my family? What if I don’t fit in? What if nobody likes me? What if they think I’m not worth the trouble you went to?” The questions shot out of Jackson’s mouth like bullets from an M60 machine gun.
“Damn. That’s a lot of what-ifs…what if you just need time to adjust? What if you’re better than you think you are? What if I’m never wrong?” Landry gently shoved Jackson’s shoulder when she asked the last question. “You’re a great kid, and everyone is going to love you. You’ve been here less than twenty-four hours, and you’ve already been exposed to a lot of tech that’s beyond your experience. Stop giving yourself such a hard time and relax into it. Enjoy discovering your new reality.” Jackson had been looking at the floor during Landry’s speech as if it were the most interesting thing she’d ever seen. Landry put two fingers under Jackson’s chin and raised her head. “What makes you think you’ll forget your family?”
“I thought it might be a side effect of the time travel. I had a moment earlier when I couldn’t remember them.”
Landry shook her head. “You’ve got your photograph, yeah?” Landry waited until Jackson nodded. “And everything about them will be on our archives. You’ll have access to those in your new place twenty-four seven so you can check in with them anytime you need to.” Landry thought about Jackson’s relationship with her father and how important it was to her. “What you’re doing would’ve made your dad insanely proud.”
“You think?”
“Hell, yes. A time-traveling soldier daughter improving the world for everyone with each mission—that’s some kick ass bragging rights.”
Jackson shrugged but smiled. “I would’ve loved for him to see it for real.”
Landry pushed the thoughts of her own father away. At least she still had her mom in her corner. “You just have to do your best and know that he would’ve loved it. There’s no hurry and no expectation of you.” She looked like she was on the verge of tears, and Landry’s heart ached for Jackson’s sense of isolation.
“I don’t want to let you down, Chief.”
“You won’t. I see a lot of myself in you, Jackson.” Landry shrugged. “You’re not as good-looking, obviously, but you’ve got a lot of potential, and you’re going to make a great extractor. I’m going to make sure of it.”
Jackson nodded slowly. “I’ll train hard. Harder than anyone before me. I promise you that.”
“Good. That’s the least I expect.” She squeezed Jackson’s shoulder as an unfamiliar sisterly instinct kicked in. “You belong here. And you’re going to be running missions long after I’ve stepped down from active duty.” They weren’t just words. Landry believed everything she was saying to be true. And she was going to make damn sure that Jackson was the very best she could be.
“I’ve heard so many stories about you already.” Jackson looked away, almost shyly. “Your boots are way too big to fill.”
Landry shook her head and laughed. “You’re not replacing me yet.” She tipped her chin toward Mason, who they could see at the window still talking to Delaney. “Stick with Mason. You two have obviously hit it off.”
Jackson blushed crimson and bit her lip.
“Is that allowed…hooking up with a colleague?”
Landry sat back on the sofa. “As long as it doesn’t adversely affect your working relationship, of course it is. We’re on an island, completing secret missions that change the world. It’s not like you can wander off onto the mainland and h
ook up with a civilian long term.” Unless you’re me. “You have to find your peace on the island, and it’s easier to do that with another Pulsus employee. They know what you’re doing, and you don’t have to hide any part of yourself from them.” She smiled at the thought of Jade and the fact she didn’t have to hide anything from her either.
Jackson smiled and shrugged. “Sorry. I’ve been a baby. I’ll be okay.”
Landry stood and offered her hand to pull Jackson up from the deep couch. “I know you will. Go play some ball with Mason. Settle into your new apartment and pick out some furniture. I’ll be on vacation for a month before we start your training, so use it. Because when I get back, you won’t be able to relax for a minute.”
Jackson was still holding on to Landry’s hand, and she shook it vigorously. “No problem, Chief.”
“Good. I’ll be seeing you.” Landry left the room and caught hold of Delaney. “Ready, buddy?”
“Desperately.”
Landry saw a sadness in Delaney’s eyes. It was nothing like the darkness and uncertainty she’d seen before Delaney went off the reservation, and she wasn’t concerned that it could happen again. But it was worrying, and Landry wasn’t sure she could do anything about it this time either.
* * *
Landry was worried that she might hug Priscilla so hard that she might rupture something. But Priscilla was glowing with vigor and good health, and Landry’s heart felt almost too big for her chest.
“How’s the bravest girl in the whole world?”
Priscilla wiggled in her arms and grinned. “I’m the bravest girl in the whole world?”
Landry pressed a finger to Priscilla’s lips, and she tried to bite it. “You are. How do you feel, bravest girl in the whole world?”
Priscilla looked upward and wrinkled her nose, clearly deep in childish thought. “I’m good. Your mommy fixed me up good.” She wrapped her arms tighter around Landry’s neck and snuggled in closer. “I missed you, Lan Lan.”
“I missed you, baby girl.”
Caitlin hung back, clearly unsure of how Landry might receive her, so when she finally released Priscilla into Jade’s arms, Landry pulled her into a strong hug.
“Get over here, you giant douche.”
Caitlin looked sheepish as she pulled back slightly. “I’m sorry for being such an ass. Forgive me?”
Landry released her from the hug and flicked a finger at her forehead. “There was nothing to forgive, Caitlin.”
Lizbeth came up behind Caitlin and smacked her on the ass, hard enough for her to shake her hand in pain as she pulled it away. “There damn well was, but thank you for being such a wonderful friend.”
Caitlin nodded. “Seriously, Landry, I’m sorry. We owe you everything, and I was stupid.”
Landry put a hand on each of their shoulders. “I’d do anything to protect you and Priscilla. But you were totally entitled to your feelings, Caitlin.” Landry held up her hand as Lizbeth opened her mouth to protest. “She was. Priscilla is your world, and you had no idea where she was or when she was coming home. Lizbeth, thank you for your faith in me, but don’t be so hard on your woman, okay?” Lizbeth pursed her lips and looked suitably chastised. “That little girl is beautiful, and she’s the product of the two of you. If you always stick together, everything will always work out. Promise me.”
The two of them nodded, and Landry drew them into a group hug.
Lizbeth dropped her hand onto Landry’s ass and squeezed. “No wonder Jade’s hanging on to you, even if you do have a super-secret life.”
Landry saw Jade smile, and it lit up her world.
Jade raised her eyebrows and directed her gaze at Lizbeth’s hand. “Haven’t you got your hands full with your two girls without taking a piece of mine?”
Lizbeth released Landry’s ass cheek and smirked. “I’ve got surprisingly large hands for someone my height.”
Jade laughed. “Fair enough.”
Delaney held Priscilla in the air at a distance. She looked decidedly uncertain, as if she were frightened Priscilla might break in her hands.
“She doesn’t bite,” Lizbeth said, approaching Delaney to retrieve Priscilla.
Delaney shook her head as she handed Priscilla to her mother. “Kids scare me—way too much going on in their heads that they don’t vocalize.”
There’s something going on in your head you’re not vocalizing either, buddy. “This little kid is going to be our next president. I’m counting on it.”
Lizbeth beamed with obvious pride. “Dinner will be served in about half an hour. You’ll stay with us, Delaney?”
Lizbeth asked the question in such a way that it was clearly a statement and denying her wasn’t a suitable option. She had her super femme mother hen persona on and wouldn’t take any answer other than yes. Delaney seemed to hesitate and looked at Landry, as if silently asking for permission. Maybe she felt like an intruder because this was the normal life Landry had been building, and up to now, Delaney hadn’t been a part of it. A sting of regret barbed Landry’s mind. She should’ve included her as a friend. But Landry had been so consumed with making a small part of her own life normal that she’d completely neglected Delaney’s friendship.
“Of course she’s staying.” Landry punched Delaney on the arm. “I’ve told her so much about your cooking that she’s got to taste it for herself.”
Delaney shrugged. “That’d be great, if you really don’t mind?”
“I insist. Welcome to the family.” Lizbeth slipped her arm inside Delaney’s. “Kitchen monkey for me?” She set off toward the back of the restaurant.
Delaney glanced back and smiled. Landry gave a mock salute in return. There was something in Delaney’s eyes she’d never seen before, like her final protective wall had crumbled. She wondered if letting Delaney into the normal life she’d built would help her heal from losing Ilsa. Landry looked at Jade as she strutted across to her and wrapped her arms around Landry’s neck. Could I heal if I lost you?
“You look thoughtful, babe.” Jade moved in closer. “Are you okay?”
Landry enfolded Jade in her arms, smiled, and lost herself in Jade’s eyes. “I’m thinking about you, how you make me feel.”
Jade kissed her lightly. “How do I make you feel?”
“Fishing for compliments?”
Jade glanced beyond Landry seeming to avoid eye contact briefly. “Asking for the truth.”
Landry didn’t miss the hint of uncertainty in Jade’s voice. She hated the thought that Jade could possibly feel insecure about how she felt. “I feel loved and wanted.” She caressed Jade’s cheek gently. “You make me feel complete and at peace.” Landry looked over Jade’s shoulder to see Caitlin and Priscilla clearly waiting to re-engage with them. “There’s so much more, but now isn’t the time, sweet lady.”
Jade glanced over her shoulder. “Okay, I get that. But I want you all to myself tonight. Can you do that?”
Landry nodded. “Absolutely.”
Landry uncoupled herself and swooped to scoop Priscilla high above her head. She squealed, and the sound was delightful. Landry had dreaded that she might never hear Priscilla voice her playful pleasure again. The last few months had been messy, complicated, and desperately hard to manage, but she’d come out the other side and so had everyone else. Still, she couldn’t quite dismiss the nagging thought that Delaney needed something more, something better. Does she need Ilsa like I need Jade?
Chapter Thirty-six
Lizbeth’s cooking was the best thing Delaney had ever tasted. She couldn’t remember ever having enjoyed herself as much as she had, either. The conversation was free and easy. Everyone was open and unguarded. The meal had finished, and the party had moved upstairs. Priscilla had already crashed out, and Landry had put her to bed in her second bedroom. Landry had the fridge stocked with beer, but none of them had gone beyond one. Delaney didn’t feel the urge to continue drinking and instead, happily sipped on ice tea. There was an air of contentment and happi
ness that Delaney had never experienced before. She’d had a small taste of it with Ilsa, but she couldn’t be completely honest with her. She’d wanted to be. Delaney had wanted to tell her everything about who she really was and why she was there. Ilsa had been the reason Pulsus was able to send them on their mission. She’d contributed to curing the world of cancer. Delaney desperately wanted to tell her that. I have to tell her. But she couldn’t do it on her own.
“Landry. Can we talk?”
Landry had a look of expectancy like she’d been anticipating Delaney’s question for the past few hours. “I was wondering when you were going to get around to it.” She kissed Jade before she stood and moved to the kitchen with Delaney.
“Not here. I need you to come to Pulsus with me.”
Landry frowned. “There’s no other way?”
Delaney tilted her head to the side. Do you know what I’m going to ask you to do? “Let’s talk more on the way. I won’t keep you all night.”
Landry glanced over her shoulder and back to Delaney. “I need to tell Jade we’re going. I promised her the night.”
“You’ll be back.” I hope. As long as she could convince them Delaney had made her do it, and she had no choice. Delaney watched the exchange between Landry and Jade. Their love for each other emanated an aura around them. She flicked her concentration to Caitlin and Lizbeth, who were cuddled together in an oversized love seat, looking equally in love. Delaney had spent almost two years with Ilsa. She knew what she felt was right. It was natural. It was forever, and she had to go back to her. She couldn’t live with herself if she didn’t try.
Landry stood and motioned Delaney to the door. They grabbed their coats, Delaney picked up her bag, and they didn’t say another word until they were seated in Landry’s Mustang. The engine throbbed beneath her feet, echoing Delaney’s growing excitement at what she was hoping Landry would help her do.