by Aziz, M.
Later, Tomás tapped a fingernail on the metal headboard. Marilyn stirred. He tapped louder and she awoke and stood.
‘Ta da!’ he said.
‘You had my heart racing!’ she touched his forehead. It wasn’t moist.
‘I’ll be dandy after a piss and some tea and toast. You can help me up if you want.’
She pulled his shoulders upward. ‘There’s a container in the bathroom if you want it?’
He breathed out and nodded. She fetched him the plastic bottle and turned her back. His stream drummed fiercely inside the container and then decayed.
‘Not a bunch of roses, I know, but here you go.’
Marilyn emptied it in the bathroom sink. She noticed specks of pink.
‘I guess they’re pickling my brain today.’
Marilyn acted as if she didn’t hear. She walked back to her mattress and sat.
‘I think I’ll go down and get what you want.’
As Marilyn’s footsteps faded out, multiple ones faded in. They stopped abruptly. Tomás looked at the door and was startled by the delayed knock.
‘Hey guys.’ he said.
Doctors Klimek and Goldberg smiled.
‘You had us breaking into a sweat yesterday, Tomás.’ said Dr Klimek. ‘It’s good to see you awake. I just came to see and tell you that the equipment will be ready to power up in an hour. You don’t need any special preparation.’
‘Do you conk me out for this?’
‘No. No need for that.’ replied Dr Goldberg. ‘We need you quite conscious.’
‘And then do you bin me, or?’
‘No,’ replied Dr Klimek, ‘you’ll still be breathing, living, in this body. But when you’re restored you will only remember to the point of memory saving. You will have no recollection of your death, which isn’t something to complain about.’
‘Why today? Why not, say, when your machines start going beeeeeep on me?’
The doctors looked at each other.
‘We can’t say when that will happen, can we?’ replied Dr Klimek. ‘Doing it without delay just guarantees against losing you. There’s no chance of recording successfully from a dead brain.’
A few minutes later Marilyn appeared in the doorway with his tea and toast. She cleared her throat.
‘Mrs Gabino.’ said Dr Goldberg. ‘Nice to see you again.’
She nodded and put Tomás’s food at his side table.
‘We were just telling your husband that we’re going ahead in an hour.’ he continued. ‘If you can make sure he’s eaten, refreshed and settled, that would be brilliant.’
‘No problem.’
‘Let’s get rid of this.’ Dr Klimek quickly ripped off the adhesive strip and needle attached to the drip. Tomás seemed to acknowledge that his wince outdid the pain. He flexed his freed hand.
‘So, we’ll see you soon.’ added Dr Klimek as they left. ‘We’re going next door.’
Tomás put the mug in his left hand and the toast in the other. He bit a small piece and munched slowly.
‘I would hate to be in your place right now.’ said Marilyn.
He shook his head and gulped some tea.
‘I’m excited. Kind of. I wonder if there’s some way of seeing what’s in my brain, like on a screen or something?’
‘Doesn’t really matter, does it?’
He bit another piece.
‘They make it sound so plain sailing.’ she continued. ‘It’s messy. Scary.’
‘Messy and scary. That’s the job description for that piece of shit in my head.’
Marilyn sighed.
‘Look, it’s my body. Or, it will be.’ he sipped. ‘Save your worries for the bastard being fast forwarded to the reaper now.’
‘Stop swearing!’
Tomás giggled.
‘I’m guessing the ‘rents aren’t having a party?’ he said.
‘They’re getting on. I need a mute button for your mother, though. Christ.’
‘Don’t take it to heart, you know that’s how she gets.’
‘I told Haroon. You know how Haroon is.’
‘That figures. I don’t blame him. I’d do the same. I can’t wait to get out of this corpse, though.’
‘Don’t say that.’ she rubbed her face with both hands.
‘But it’s how I feel. This shell I’m in is overdue for the bin. It did me well for my life so far, but, you know, don’t get sentimental over a burnt down house.’
‘I suppose.’
‘And liking me... Even if I looked like The Elephant Man, you’d still be there for me, right?’
‘I suppose.’
‘And since you suppose a lot, there’s no problem!’ he laughed.
A mental weight stifled Marilyn’s nod.
‘Get on the phone.’ he added. ‘Let ‘em know the shuttle’s launching.’
‘I’ll dial, but you talk.’
‘Scaredy!’
The first ring didn’t complete before someone picked up.
‘Mum. It’s me. You’ll have to remember a new it’s me voice very soon.’
Estela’s volume was audible to Marilyn.
‘Yeah, okay, easy, Mum! All’s good. There’s no need to work up a sweat... Of course she’s with me!’
The phone fell silent.
‘Just thought I’d let you know they’re taking me in an hour... Yeah, the first bit. Maybe come about lunch with my favourite sandwiches.’
Tomás moved the phone from his ear and back again.
‘Alright, alright. Yes, yes. See you. Say hey to Dad.’
Marilyn took the phone.
‘Anyway... Oh yeah! At the gig!’ he added.
Time flew as Marilyn listened to him as someone would to a popular politician’s final speech. They looked startled when Doctors Klimek and Goldberg entered without knocking.
‘We have lift off.’ smiled Dr Klimek.
Tomás looked at Marilyn. ‘Can she, er?’ he asked. ‘...To keep her at ease.’
‘Out of the question.’ replied Dr Klimek. ‘We only allow parents or carers of the mentally disabled to accompany patients during procedures.’
‘Let’s break protocol here.’ said Dr Goldberg. ‘It’ll help ease any anxiety, which we need.’
Dr Klimek put his hands up and nodded. ‘How’s your legs? Just a few steps.’
‘I’m not an invalid. Yet.’
Marilyn helped him up. She hovered her arms around his back and chest until he balanced.
‘Let’s roll then.’
The doctors led the way. Marilyn guided Tomás by an arm. She mirrored his fragile steps.
‘Damn. I feel eighty.’
Marilyn’s pupils dilated. She gripped him tight.
His socked feet created a soft stuttered rhythm on the floor. When a few steps short of the metal door Dr Goldberg took out a card chained to his pocket. He slipped it in and out of the reader lock. It emitted a green glow before a heavy click sounded. He pushed the door.
In front of them was a shiny black leather lounger. Beside that an assortment of wires coming from what seemed like a giant refrigerator.
‘Please, feel at ease there.’ said Dr Klimek.
Marilyn shivered as she led Tomás. He noticed her tremor and squeezed her hand on his arm.
‘Don’t.’ mouthed Tomás.
He sat on the lounger. Marilyn helped him stretch his legs while he adjusted himself on the plush headboard.
‘Mrs Gabino, take mine.’ said Dr Goldberg. He grabbed a maroon chair and screeched it across the floor. She sat hunched.
‘Not uncomfortable, Tomás?’ asked Dr Klimek.
‘Most far from horrible bed I’ve been in apart from at home.’
‘Glad we can cater. That frightening device to your right is the magic box. It can store more memory than you already have and is ensured by software which makes sure nothing goes belly up.’
‘I’m afraid all you’re going to end up with is billions of not very pious images.’
Dr Kl
imek smiled. ‘We use the same equipment here to nuke a memory, just like wiping a computer hard drive.’
‘So I guess you’ve done something to the other guy already?’
‘We should have it in a matter of hours. Of course, we’ll only transfer once you actually pass away. It’s a big can of worms to have two of you at the same time.’
‘But I will be me, right? Not Dolly the carbon copy?’
‘If only one of you exists there can be no counterfeit. We could debate forever about soul, but, clinically, the soul is just a jar. What’s inside the jar is what you are. Living is just about a heartbeat and blood pumping.’
‘Yeah, I get the picture.’
Marilyn buried her chin on a fist.
Dr Goldberg pulled out a box from beneath the lounger.
‘The soon to be famous shades, hopefully.’ he said. ‘When we start, you’ll begin to see calming images; clouds, waterfalls, so on. You’ll also hear subtle sounds, but still hear us too.’
‘All I’m seeing is black right now.’
‘I’m going to apply something to your head.’
Tomás heard the pump and vacuum of a dispenser followed by something cool and jellylike being slathered over his forehead. Marilyn watched as a rectangular strip was then placed over it.
‘Is he going to feel anything?’ she asked.
‘Not at all. This strip just helps to absorb data.’ replied Dr Klimek.
‘This could make you filthy rich. It’d kill codeine.’ said Tomás.
‘The whole process should not take much more than an hour.’ Dr Goldberg pulled out a sliding desk tray to reveal a keyboard and mouse. He sat down and turned on a monitor.
‘You do know what you’re doing, don’t you?’ asked Marilyn.
‘We didn’t skimp on testing.’ replied Dr Klimek. ‘Monkeys. Two very different personalities. Neither died, both simply swapped bodies. It was something to celebrate.’
‘Something to celebrate?’ Marilyn leant forward. ‘I suppose these chimps told you that?’
‘Marilyn!’ said Tomás.
‘We did not do the experiment ourselves,’ replied Dr Goldberg, ‘but we saw the data and all measurements did not alarm us. You do know already that Tomás is the first human patient. It has to begin somewhere.’
‘Oh. Before we start.’ said Dr Klimek. ‘We’ll need you to sign consent. You can take off the glasses for a second.’
Dr Goldberg handed Tomás a stylus and tablet. ‘This is really no different to any other contract in that we absolutely take no liability for anything not going to plan. Only that we’ve added a but, which you can read at the bottom, that states you aren’t allowed to chatter that you’ve had this procedure to anyone outside of this hospital department, apart from your GP, and you must destroy your current identity. Your doctor will ink one too after your and the host body’s records are merged. You too must sign it, Marilyn.’
Tomás skimmed the small print and weakly scribbled his name.
‘‘s a good job I can read and write as a thumbprint would be useless now, eh?’
‘Glasses, please, Tomás.’ said Dr Klimek.
Marilyn looked at the clause for the longest time before slowly signing it.
‘Should I sit so close to him?’ she asked. ‘I don’t want my brain waves or whatever to interfere.’
‘The device will only read matter immediately in front of it.’ replied Dr Klimek. He pushed a button below the desk which stirred the storage device. Its whir mimicked a washing machine’s first cycle.
‘Be patient.’ he added. ‘I just need to load up the application which controls both the glasses and the memory capturing device.’
‘Hang on a second.’ said Tomás. ‘Do you capture memories in progress, like what’s happening now?’
‘Current memories are recorded but given less priority by the program.’ replied Dr Klimek. ‘You’ll definitely recall what happened yesterday, until before you blacked out, of course, but remembering all this here might be a push. It works on logic. If a memory isn’t tangible by way of not being complete, it’s burst like a bubble of data.’
‘Okay, you don’t seem to have dropped the ball on anything. Do your worst. I must warn you, though, that I’ve got dated envelopes to myself of music I’ve created, like copyright. Don’t try and rip me off, doc!’
‘I’m glad you are not feeling grave about it.’ chuckled Dr Goldberg. ‘It will make the time zoom.’
Tomás looked as if he were engaged in a vintage virtual reality game. Dr Klimek’s screen filled with data. Marilyn shut her eyes.
‘Okay, we’re just going to power the glasses now.’ Dr Klimek clicked his mouse. ‘Tell me what passes into view.’
‘Waves, sea.’
‘Excellent.’ he clicked his mouse again and moved it up. ‘Is it coming through your ears now?’
‘I think it was you who said my audiotory, audio, or something, nerve was affected.’ he laughed.
Marilyn watched the screen slider rise.
‘Sweet now.’ Tomás made a ring with his thumb and index finger.
‘Brilliant.’ said Dr Klimek. ‘Okay, Tomás, Marilyn. We’d appreciate if you remain quiet for the rest of the procedure. The process is automated but we monitor what’s happening and make minor adjustments to computer prompts when required.’
They both nodded.
‘One last thing.’ Tomás coughed. ‘Do you see what’s in my head? Like, could you rip a music CD, look at photos?’
‘It doesn’t work like that. It’s all one big mass of ones and zeroes, not individual files. The software converts those ones and zeroes back to a form that the mind recognises as memory. It’s a whole combined image than separate parts.’
‘Ah, right. I’m done.’ Tomás adjusted his glasses and snuggled into position.
Dr Goldberg stood by Dr Klimek’s chair.
‘We’re running from... Now!’ said Dr Klimek. He tapped a button.
The storage unit whined.
‘First, the computer’s going to negotiate a connection to your memory...’ he continued. ‘Okay, we’ve achieved that... And now it’s started reading.’
‘My forehead feels airy, mentholy.’
‘That should pass in no time.’ Dr Goldberg rubbed his nose. ‘It is the activation of the gel.’
‘I’m not bothered.’
Marilyn studied Dr Klimek’s monitor. The screen was divided in two; the top half showed an endless scrolling of digits while the bottom had a progress bar to completion that flitted back and forth. A light on the storage unit blinked relentlessly. On screen, a string of digits appeared underlined within a dialogue box. Dr Klimek examined the options and clicked the first.
‘Is that expected?’ whispered Marilyn.
‘Erroneous data. Probably just an old imagining. If anything looks like garbage we don’t let it pass.’
‘I can’t let these shades stay in this place.’ said Tomás. ‘The quality of the image is wow! It’s far from like looking at a video, it’s actually like I could touch the damn greenery.’
‘It’s crystalline definition.’ said Dr Goldberg. ‘We did our best to not scrimp on things.’
‘When you utter something,’ said Dr Klimek, ‘the system pauses, so keep it to a minimum.’
‘The menthol feeling’s gone but I feel sort of funky. Not an ache, just weird, I can’t put a finger on it.’
‘Not unexpected.’
Tomás’s hands began to tremor. Marilyn waved towards Dr Goldberg. He shook his head.
The status bar showed the first percentage block. The stream of ones and zeroes continued to scroll at a fast pace with only brief pauses. Dr Goldberg nodded as Dr Klimek answered prompts. They alternately glanced at the light on the storage unit and at Tomás, ignoring Marilyn’s presence.
‘It’s running without any roughness.’ said Dr Klimek. ‘It’s unlikely that the verification stage will show any errors. The storage unit isn’t going to keel over from its task.�
�
Dr Goldberg touched the side of the unit. ‘Agh, my hand!’
‘Mass heat’s expected. You know that.’ replied Dr Klimek.
Tomás breathed deep.
Marilyn stared at the numbers for some time until her eyes flickered shut. When the last digits faded from the screen about an hour later she blinked awake.
The doctors shook hands.
‘All done. Only doubters would think we had any hitches.’ said Dr Klimek. ‘I had to rubbish a few hundred or so minor strings that didn’t seem to add up, but this will hardly affect the total content at all. The computer’s now verifying the integrity of what it’s recorded before copying a backup to the secondary drive.’
Tomás removed the glasses. ‘The experience of cinema, including the dopiness after.’
‘Well, that is half the road travelled, Tomás.’ said Dr Goldberg.
Tomás sat up on the lounger and yawned. Dr Klimek walked over and extended a hand.
‘Thank you and no commiserations, Tomás. You’ve just survived terminal illness.’
Tomás smiled and looked at Marilyn. She lifted one of his arms and ushered him out of the door. The doctors followed a few paces behind. Tomás stopped every few steps to regain his breath. She pushed open their room door and helped him lie down. Dr Goldberg adjusted Tomás’s legs.
‘Professor Barber will look over the verified data and after that it is just a matter of watching the clock.’ he said.
‘So I just watch him gasp for air shortly now?’ she looked over at Tomás who had shut his eyes.
‘Anything he needs, we won’t withhold.’ replied Dr Klimek. ‘Any medication, anything to maintain his life in this body we will fulfil. Just ask a nurse to page me.’
‘Okay.’ Marilyn looked at the floor.
‘I’ve got students now.’ said Dr Klimek. He patted her shoulder. ‘Take care.’
Marilyn looked at Tomás and sighed. She pulled out her phone and navigated to the photos app. There were thumbnails of a more youthful Tomás pulling funny faces, posing with his guitar or simply smiling. Feeling her eyes water, she parked herself on the mattress and stared at the ceiling.
Tomás coughed loudly. She leapt to his side. His cough trailed off, leaving saliva on the sides of his mouth.
‘Fuck’s sake woman, don’t you relax? Stop fretting!’ his eyes flickered shut again.