by Aziz, M.
One of the guards returned holding the front of a stretcher. A pale, sinewy ambulance man held the back. The second, red-faced, guard entered and lifted the body onto it. He then covered it and placed the sacks between its legs.
‘We must go straight through A&E.’ said Dr Klimek.
The ambulance man nodded.
Dave opened the door as the ambulance man and guards headed for the stairs.
‘If we see the flashing green light I suppose some of those bank accounts will have zeroes to spare?’ asked Dave.
‘Red always turns green.’ Dr Klimek patted Dave’s arm and followed the stretcher.
At ground level they heard a mass straining of springs. Moving shadows bled through the bars further down the corridor.
The ambulance man opened the back of the vehicle. Dr Klimek sat beside the driver seat. The guards placed the body inside and slammed the doors inward.
‘I think we should have the siren on. To be on the safe side.’ said Dr Klimek.
‘It doesn’t appear a rope and ceiling job.’ the ambulance man secured the body and went to the wheel. ‘As I was led to believe.’
‘You’re very perceptive. That’s why I’m personally overseeing him.’
‘Oh... Okay.’
Dr Klimek stared ahead through the window. The ambulance driver scratched his chin and thumbed the ignition.
‘Those pen marks?’ he continued. ‘I’ve seen better war paint down Camden on a Saturday night!’
‘Look. Focus on the road.’
The ambulance man shrugged and drove off. The desolate roads made the journey glide like an iron through silk. The guards remained silent.
As soon as the engine stopped some fifteen minutes later the ambulance man jumped out and opened the back. Dr Klimek pushed out the stretcher’s end to him and they rolled towards the A&E entrance. The guards stayed put.
After navigating the narrow curves of the bright yellow corridor a petite brunette nurse appeared before them.
‘Nurse, please.’ said Dr Klimek. ‘He’s in my care and I’m in no mood for roadblocks.’
She squinted at the pen marks.
Dr Goldberg turned his head from a cubicle opposite.
‘Nurse. Do you value your job?’ he shouted.
She stepped aside. The ambulance driver scratched his head and walked back out. Dr Goldberg jogged over to his colleague.
‘Set?’ asked Dr Klimek.
‘The scissors are out.’
Dr Goldberg grabbed a rail and upped the stretcher’s speed. They bowling-balled through the heavy blue doors.
‘No glitches?’ he added.
‘Well,’ Dr Klimek slapped the lift call button, ‘time to scan for bugs.’
They stared at the floor numbers decreasing on the display. Once the doors opened they quickly fled in and shut them. The lift began its ascent.
After some moments it shuddered to a halt.
‘God, not now.’ he added.
Dr Goldberg started jumping. ‘As if you didn’t expect this here? Help me get it going.’
Both jumped frantically. The lift soon made a mechanical cough and resumed ascent. Dr Klimek adjusted his collar and inflated his cheeks. He deflated them when the lift settled and opened. Outside a door a few paces away Prof Barber stood dressed in surgical garb. He disappeared inside as the doctors pushed the stretcher along.
Through the blinding glare of a surgical lamp the doctors discerned four masked surgeons beside the Professor. A thick-spectacled one picked up what resembled a smartphone from a counter. He flicked a dial as he pressed it against the body’s head. The screen filled with a straight line and occasional tiny peaks. On parting one of the eyelids he found the pupil was rolled right back.
Prof Barber walked forward. ‘Fat chance of it waking up. Good.’
Dr Klimek led Dr Goldberg out by his sleeve.
‘Right. Don’t just stand there!’ he continued.
A tanned and hairy-armed surgeon came forward and removed the covering. He put the sacks on the floor then placed his hands beneath the body’s back. A female surgeon held the ankles as they transferred it to the operating table.
‘Okay. Relatives want a quick turnaround, so everything pronto.’ Prof Barber placed his rubber-gloved fingers on the nipples. ‘Don’t fill these with the female implants, obviously.’ he picked up a small transparent disc then put it down.
The female surgeon taped wires to the body’s arms. Hairy arms picked up a swab and rubbed it over an areolae. He looked at the Professor before taking a scalpel and making a small incision. The female surgeon pulled it open, picked up a small disc and pushed half of it under the areola opening. Prof Barber took a knife and punctured a tiny hole in the disc. Hairy arms connected a tube to this hole and hand-pumped from a concertina bottle attached to it. The female surgeon pushed the disc further as it expanded.
The chest area turned yellow and bloody as a muscular breast shape emerged.
‘We must never forget to calm a patient over this temporary feminine swelling. Okay, you two, quickly sew it and do the other side. We’ll have a look at this.’ he parted the lips. ‘Less volume here, but not over the top. And remember, the smallest incision possible.’
An oriental surgeon came forward. He moved a rubber-gloved thumb around the mouth.
‘Sir.’ said the female surgeon. ‘Blood pressure over one-fifty!’
Prof Barber glanced at the monitor.
‘And?’
The female surgeon blinked and resumed her task.
Prof Barber moved towards the thighs and lifted the penis with a thumb and forefinger while his other hand tugged at the scrotum. He then waved at the last free surgeon with thick spectacles.
‘You should have no problems as the sack has ample space to easily get to the vas.’
The surgeon picked up a scalpel and poked a tear on the scrotum’s left side. Prof Barber cleaned the blood with a swab as the surgeon shakily squeezed his middle and index fingers inside like unopened chopsticks. His fingers moved around for a few seconds before pulling the vas deferens close to the skin’s edge. Prof Barber took a scalpel and carefully sliced its middle. He then picked up what appeared to be a penlight and passed it over the tube’s ends.
‘Come on, come on. Stitch it!’
He looked up at the chest and caught the other breast filling out.
‘You drenched my back with that hand play.’ Prof Barber moved back up to the head. ‘The nose needs just mild reshaping. Those lines are there for a purpose.’
The female surgeon held the nose’s bridge. Prof Barber hovered over her. Her mask showed dots of sweat.
‘Uh... Yeah, that’s good.’ he said with minimal enthusiasm.
Walking back to the other end where the thick-spectacled surgeon tugged and cut the other tube, Prof Barber passed his pen device over the ends then sped back to the face. The oriental surgeon wiped the blood off the purpled, rubber dingy lips.
‘Now, the eyes. Listen to me. Slight tightening of the skin. Don’t overdo it.’
The surgeon nodded and felt around the sockets before picking up a tool.
Prof Barber sped to the feet and looked over the punctured body. He took a deep breath and removed his gloves. Turning to the sink he squeezed blue gel from a dispenser and washed his hands.
‘I don’t want to see those pen marks still when you’re done.’
‘Chill, sir.’ said the hairy-armed surgeon. ‘Man wasn’t an ugly looking guy to begin with, shame we had to edit him.’
Prof Barber exited the theatre and walked to the corridor’s end. He pulled a card from his pocket and slid it across the door’s reader. Dr Klimek was sat at the computer typing.
‘What stage is he at?’ Dr Klimek looked away from the screen briefly.
‘He doesn’t exist.’ he laughed. ‘Just make sure you keep the plug in the wall and the backup power ready.’
‘I’m not getting a fully warm feeling about this now.’ his hands paused. ‘Gre
at timing I know, but I’d hate to not see a smile on the Gabinos faces.’
‘They gave us their signatures, didn’t they? Our hands are not dirty if it all goes kaput!’
‘I’m not just talking about not bringing him back.’
‘Spit it out.’
‘Agh... Pay no mind!’ he sighed. ‘Nerves.’ he folded his arms. ‘I’m still ecstatic but I feel a coldness in my stomach. I mean, we’ve not been able to observe language, as Mrs Gabino said.’
‘And that’s what this trial is about.’
‘...That’s what this trial is about.’
‘I insist you stop by a travel agent once we see this through.’
‘You don’t say?’ he breathed out.
Prof Barber stepped forward and patted his shoulder. ‘What’s all the typing?’
‘I’m just making sure nothing goes wonky for transfer. We don’t really need to mess with many settings from the defaults.’
‘Good to know. The body needs to calm down from that assault a bit. I’m going to drip in some pain medication, allow it a half hour and then we can speed ahead.’
‘So, should we contact the Gabinos now?’
‘Let the pan cool first. He won’t bat an eyelid while his body recovers for another few hours.’
Dr Klimek nodded.
‘Anyway, keep doing your thing, Klimek. Back to the children for me.’ he slid out of the room towards the theatre.
The unmasked female surgeon came out. Her hazel eyes locked directly on his.
‘We didn’t make one bad move, Professor.’ she wrung her hands together. ‘And his heart rate’s no longer a concern.’
‘Its heart rate has stabilised. It’s an entire organ, not a person.’
The surgeon blinked and stepped back. He brushed her aside with the back of his hand and went in. The other unmasked surgeons moved from the body as he inspected it.
White bandages covered the nose and eyes. The bandaged chest was scroll-yellow and raised.
‘You’ve all lived up to your qualifications, good. Attach that drip and see over him.’
Prof Barber walked out. The lift opened and Dr Goldberg emerged.
‘Goldberg, perfect! My kidneys are begging for fluid. Monitor them in there. I don’t want those fellows poking around more than necessary.’
‘Just the fellows you are concerned about, is it?’ he laughed. ‘My legs are killing me, but you go.’
Prof Barber smiled and walked off. Dr Goldberg entered the theatre.
‘A brain reading, please.’ he said.
The female surgeon picked up the device and pressed it against the head. The screen showed a few tiny peaks. Just as she was about to remove it a single big one appeared.
‘I don’t think curves of this type are normal, are they?’ she asked.
‘There is meant to be small activity. Hold it longer than that.’
Looking at the screen again a near-flat line appeared. She held it a few seconds more.
‘There’s another one, a bit larger. We should tell...’
‘And get your ears blown?’ he interrupted. ‘There’s not many big peaks there, right? If they are worst case, it is only fragments of mind that will be overwhelmed by the new data. The clock is not with us. It is also dangerous to wipe again.’
She breathed out.
‘You have to be less of a mother if you want to avoid hassle. It is our problem, not yours.’
‘If you say so, doctor.’
‘Glad we sorted that. Okay, put him on the stretcher and then all of you just go.’
The hairy-armed and oriental surgeons moved the body in one heave and followed their two colleagues out. Dr Goldberg pressed the activity scanner against the head once more. He studied the minute hand on his watch alternately. A straight line remained.
Looking at the face he caught a quick, manic twitch of closed eye movement.
He jumped away from the bed and slid outside. After briskly walking down the corridor he swiped his card.
‘Hey.’ said Dr Klimek.
‘I saw something... The eye... One of the surgeons noted something.’
Dr Klimek slid the keyboard drawer under the desk. ‘Those things were reported in the monkey trial, if you read it.’
‘Well...’
‘The odd REM’s nothing, internal visual searching. The brain’s not allowing any stray data to be left behind. You know, truncated dreams, thoughts. It means nothing. At all.’
Dr Goldberg bit his lip. ‘I don’t think we should hide this from Barber, just in case. I saw a really big line.’
‘Act like a fly around him and he won’t spare you.’
Dr Goldberg pulled up a seat beside the desk. He rested his elbows on his thighs and his face in his hands. A soft, stuttered rhythm grew from his heel. Dr Klimek’s face turned red as the tempo gradually increased.
‘Do you mind?’
Dr Goldberg stopped. The door clicked open.
Prof Barber entered. He had shed his surgeon’s clothing for a grey pinstripe suit. Dr Goldberg was about to open his mouth when the Professor started.
‘No time to waste now, I think.’
Dr Klimek smiled at Dr Goldberg then shook his head.
The doctors followed him through the theatre doors. They assembled around the stretcher then wheeled it out to the corridor. Dr Klimek slid his card across the reader and opened the treatment room where the others placed the stretcher beside the lounger and transferred the body.
Dr Goldberg coughed and raised his hand.
‘Three seems a crowd to me.’ said Prof Barber.
Dr Klimek minutely shook his head. Dr Goldberg styled his hand down.
‘This won’t take long for us.’ said Dr Klimek. ‘Maybe you should give Mrs Gabino a final run-down?’
‘...Sure.’ nodded Dr Goldberg.
He looked at Dr Klimek squeezing some gel from the dispenser, then once more at the body before exiting.
He walked to the waiting lift and descended to the second floor. When the doors hastily opened he pushed past a pair of swing doors and unlocked a chipped green one. Before him was a cramped room with plain white walls. On the cluttered desk sat his gold-on-black nameplate.
Dumping himself on his chair he let his stomach rise. He sifted through papers on the desk before picking up his phone’s handset. Its base station crashed to the carpet.
‘Always. Damn phone!’ he picked it up and heard the hospital’s message system.
Sweeping his hand through the desk again he found a small piece of paper with a handwritten number on it which he tapped on the phone. His breathing paused as the dial tone sounded. After a short wait the line crackled.
‘Yes?’ said a distant female voice.
‘Mrs Gabino? Dr Goldberg.’
The line went silent.
‘I... Thought I’d let you know he’s in and we’re in closing stages. He should wake up as planned but he’s going to be a bit rough first... Hello?’
‘...How look?’
‘I can’t say yet. We didn’t make much mess, but we’ll only know the outcome once he’s healed. But the main reason I’m calling is to see if you wanted to talk.’
‘...I still no believe this happening.’ she sniffed.
‘I really do sympathise. It’s not going to be a walk in the park for you no matter how much you build up to it.’
‘I not sure want to.’
‘We have that dedicated psychiatrist, twenty-four seven. I don’t see you needing her long, though.’
‘So... We leave house now?’
‘One or two hours is fine.’
The dial tone sounded. Dr Goldberg looked at the receiver before placing it back.
He got up and walked out of the room to the open lift. The ascension resembled a metallic dog whining.
As he approached the card reader Dr Klimek pulled out the head of the stretcher.
‘Already?’ asked Dr Goldberg. ‘That’s faster than backup.’
Prof
Barber grew a Cheshire cat grin.
‘You know, I wish a lot of procedures went this easy.’ said Dr Klimek.
‘Not even a little hiccup?’
‘You don’t seem happy about that?’ replied Prof Barber.
‘No, no, just...’
Dr Goldberg moved out of the way as the stretcher entered the corridor.
‘Er, the older Mrs Gabino seems okay enough.’ he continued. ‘I told her my piece, not that it had much impact.’ he moved a few paces back to Tomás’s room and opened the door.
Dr Klimek and Prof Barber pushed the stretcher in then carefully laid Tomás’s new body on the freshly-sheeted bed.
‘I want a bag of painkiller here.’ said Prof Barber.
Dr Klimek nodded as he wheeled the stretcher out.
‘I can’t wait to shake Tomás’s new hand.’ smiled Dr Goldberg.
Prof Barber exited.
5
Half an hour later Marilyn knocked on the treatment room door. She looked back at Alberto gripping Estela’s shoulder. The door whirr made her flinch.
‘Please, come in.’ said Dr Klimek.
‘I’m ready.’ she shivered.
‘You have to step in here first.’ he replied. ‘I need to vocalise something to you.’
Marilyn stepped in and stood in front of the desk. Alberto and Estela sat on plastic chairs towards the back.
‘Mrs Gabino, you Marilyn. I’m happy to inform you that the procedure went smoothly.’
Marilyn looked at Estela who stared at the ceiling with her arms crossed.
‘Now,’ he continued, ‘I know you have an idea of what to expect but I need to run over a few things.’
Marilyn heard Alberto’s seat squeak forward.
‘First. Tomás’s face is currently bandaged. Prior to doing so we coated his skin with a treatment that rapidly accelerates healing. This is a pricey cream per gram that we reserve for burns victims. We used it in this particular scenario so you can see his face as soon as possible. We thought it essential for quickly re-establishing emotional bonds.’