by Calinda B
“Right.” The general nods.
Thras brushes his hands together and the image vanishes.
Once we’re alone, I try my case again. “Please, Thras. I haven’t seen my brother for weeks. It would mean so much to me to be able to offer him some sort of hope. And,” I add, looking away, “it would help build the ruse of my employment. He’ll see I’m still working with the Eleven.”
Thras seems to consider my words.
“I’m not saying yes,” he states. “But I’m also not saying no. I’ll get back to you.”
He settles at his desk and starts perusing the holo-display of Complex maps.
His words are as good as assent to me. I make a plan to go see my brother tonight when I get off work. I hope he’ll open the door.
Chapter 20
Against my better judgment, I arrive at Reve’s door around the time he told me he usually goes to sleep. The hall is somewhat dark at this time of night, in keeping with Complex ambiance guidelines.
I alert the door alarm, hoping, if he’s asleep, he won’t be too mad to be woken up.
The door slides open an inch and his eye appears in the slit.
“Sakhi,” he says, the whites of his eye showing. “What a surprise.”
In the background, some sort of map hovers in the air. What’s going on? My mind wraps around suspicious thoughts.
His face disappears from view as the crack in the door closes.
I hesitate, chewing my lip. I should leave. Instead, I stay put, frozen in indecision.
A few minutes later, the doors glide open fully revealing several Humans sitting in the tiny, dimly lit apartment. Some are seated around Reve’s kitchen table. Others lounge on his sofa. Evidence of various vices waft as clouds of smoke drifting into the hallway, and the potent smell of booze.
The map is gone.
“Oh!” I exclaim. “I didn’t know you’d have company. I’m sorry. I should have called.”
Reve stands squarely in the opening, hands propped on either side, preventing me from entering. “It’s only some friends from work. We’re just shooting the shit, you know.”
“I see. So, you seem to be all right, then,” I say, feeling awkward and stiff. I try to peer around him.
A couple of the guys lift their hands in greeting.
One of them clutches a Uni-screen display device, the kind Thras uses to study maps and diagrams of the city.
“Couldn’t be better.” He flashes me a grin, lowering his hands a little, blocking my view with his muscular arms.
I glance down the hall toward the Fastrans. “I, uh…this was a mistake. I’ll come back another time.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. We were about to finish up.” He calls over his shoulder to the men. “Isn’t that right, boys?”
“Uh, yeah,” a swarthy looking, Bulldog of a male says. “I’m beat. And four in the morning doesn’t come any earlier.”
He stands, stretches, and appears to yawn.
The yawn looks forced and fake. And everyone beams the energy of guilt and contrived cheer in my direction. What the hell is going on?
Reve steps aside, but I’m unsure whether to enter. “Guys, this is my sis, Sakhi. Sakhi, this is Gian, Doug, Mink, Stern, and Daevi.”
“Hello,” I say, not tracking who belongs to which name. I’m reeling with their energy.
Reve gives a small nod of his head to Bulldog man.
Bulldog man’s eyebrows lift. He surreptitiously turns, gathers papers off the table, and waves them about.
“Almost forgot these,” he says. “The guys were helping me with my preparation. I’m going for a promotion.”
Another guy laughs. “Yeah, Mink, to shitter-manager, not just shitter-sweeper.”
They all laugh, breaking the tension.
“Thanks for helping, Reve,” Mink says, making a show of waving the documents in the air.
“No problem,” Reve says. “Any time.”
I smile as they all shuffle past me, voicing their good-byes.
“Come in,” Reve says.
“It’s good to see you,” I say, but my chest feels cold and tight. This isn’t the kind of greeting I’d hoped.
“Same here,” Reve says.
“No hug?” I say, feeling all of ten-years-old.
“Oh,” he says, like that explains everything. “Come here, baby-sis.
He wraps his big, strong, brotherly arms around me. His skin smells awful but I don’t care. It feels so good to be held by him I don’t ever want to let go.
But, at length, he gently guides me away from his embrace. He throws his arm around my shoulder and leads me to the couch, limping as usual. He shoves aside an empty bottle before I can sit. Crouching unsteadily, he picks up another resting on the floor by my feet.
“Now tonight,” he says, holding the glass container aloft. He tips it over his mouth and sucks it dry. “This is what rises from the mud.”
He gestures to the room.
I’m not sure that the “this” is he’s referring to.
“In case you wondered.” He smacks his lips and winks at me.
I giggle, sensing our old camaraderie, appreciating the reference to my locket.
“Can I get you something to…” He hiccups. “Drink?”
I shake my head. “Shouldn’t you be more careful? When you opened the door and all that smoke poured into the hallway…well, it could have alerted the guards.”
He waggles his eyebrows. “The guards on his floor have been bought and paid for.”
I frown. “What do you mean?”
“They’re Human,” he says, as if that should explain everything. He leans in so close his boozy breath fills my nostrils and slur-whispers, “Bribed.”
My stomach twists, but now is not the time for reprimands. I nudge him and his stinky breath and sweaty body away.
He slumps on the sofa, sitting close to me.
“So, how’s ‘work’?” he says, making air quotes.
“Work’s fine. That’s why I’m here, as a matter of fact.”
“Right,” he says, letting out a sharp-edge laugh.
“I’m not kidding. We’ve been working on a new substance for pain and healing. It’s a potent formula. It could make all the difference in your comfort.”
His eyebrows form sharp hills. He looks baffled, like that’s not the answer he expected of me. “Huh. Well, I, uh…you’d do that for me after me cutting you off?”
“You’re my brother, Reve,” I say, patting his leg. “Of course I’d do that for you. I’ve missed you terribly.”
He drags his hand through his hair, frowning. “I don’t know what to say.”
“I asked Thras if we could test it on you. He said yes.” I cringe inwardly. Lying comes so easily to me now.
“Oh, you asked Thras. And he said it’s okay to test it on a scumbag like me. Well then, fuck no.” He gets to his feet and lurches toward one of his kitchen chairs. His foot catches, and he trips and falls to the floor.
I bolt to my feet, rushing to crouch by his side.
Instead of moaning in pain or cursing at his clumsiness, he laughs, pushing his upper body up with his hands.
He rolls on his back, grinning.
“Fuck me, I’m fucked-up.” He howls with laughter. “They’ve got some good shit on this here fine establishment. Which they’re more than willing to share if you make the right offer.”
“Come on, Reve, this is serious. Talk to me.” I chew on my lip.
“We can talk from here. No to being your test monkey. What else do you have to say? How is it living in a suite?” He spits out the word “suite.”.
I fold my legs and sit next to him. “It’s okay. But…I’m worried about you.”
“I’m fine.” He throws his arm over his eyes. “Too bright in here.”
I’m certain he wants to shield himself from me…to ward off the strong connection between us.
“Tell me something else,” he mumbles.
“Reve…”
I begin, unsure what to say next. I can’t tell him my role in Thras’ life but I can speak in vague generalities…talk about things the citizens are privy to. “What do you think about the upcoming election?”
“Oh, right,” he says, keeping his arm over his eyes. “Your Uni-bosk Meta boss is one of the contenders. Now it makes even more sense why you’re here. ‘Make her brother a charity case. Heal him and win the people over’.” He removes his arm from his eyes and, with effort, props himself on his forearms. “Hell, no. I’d rather limp in extreme protest of any care he might want to provide me.”
“Quit being an asshole,” I explode, slugging his upper arm.
“Ow!” Reve jerks, and then blinks, pushing himself up to sitting. “Whoa. Where’s this coming from? I’m the only one who gets to call myself an asshole. You’re supposed to say, ‘stop that big brother, you’re amazing’.”
“You are amazing, but you’re not acting like it,” I say, swishing my hand in the air. “You’re acting like a victim. I came here in good faith, wanting to try something to ease your pain. It was my idea. Mine. But no, you want to make this about a cause…your stance against the Metas. Well, guess what?” I say, climbing to my feet. I prop my hands on my hips, glaring down at him. “They’re not all bad.” I squash my lips together before I say something I’m not supposed to…something that reveals I might do more than tend plants…that I might be in an inner circle and know a lot more than he does.
He gives me a dark glare.
“Well, haven’t you changed,” he says. “You’ve sided with the enemy.” He reaches out his hand to me. “Help me up. I’m too fucked up to stand.” He squints and peers in the direction of his bed in the corner. “I need to get to that spot right there after I let you out.”
“So, that’s it? I’m dismissed?” My mouth falls open in disbelief. I hold out my hand, though, ever the good sister.
“Don’t be daft. Some of us have to get up and go to work so that we can live in this kind of luxury.” He lifts his chin, indicating his room.
I have to use both hands and all my might to help him up. I’m tempted to swing him off-balance again, into the wall.
He wobbles to the entrance and palms the door so it opens for me. “Help me to bed, first.”
I stomp into the hallway, ready to bolt to the Fastrans.
“Get your own damn self across the room,” I say, my back to him.
He barks out a laugh.
“Not kidding,” I say, folding my arms.
“Sis,” he says, gently. Some of the brother I remember leaks into that word.
“What?” I snap, whirling to face him. My eyes sting with tears. And my heart…my heart’s as twisted as it was a few weeks ago, if not more.
He flashes me a tortured look. He leans heavily against the door jam, putting all his weight on his good leg. “Let’s try again when I’m not in such a messed up state. I’m glad you stopped by. I was surprised, is all.”
“I don’t know. I…” I want to forgive him. I want things to go back to the way they were.
“Yeah, you do. You know. I’m sorry, baby-sis,” he says. “And thanks for thinking of me.”
He gives me one last sorrowful look before signaling the entrance to close.
I stay put for a moment, unsure of what to do next. Should I pound my fists against his door, shouting, “Let me in, we can work this out!”
Or, should I simply leave?
When I hear a loud thud, followed by curses and then a groan, I shake my head, turn, and head toward the Fastrans. He’s changed. I’ve changed. We both want the connection back. But I’m not sure if we can ever find it again. Even more troubling is whatever he’s hiding. I know he’s trying to cover up something.
Chapter 21
In my dreams tonight, I’m so heartbroken and confused, it takes forever to reach the pond. I trip over a woman’s soul—she’s vacated her body while a vampire sucks her neck. And no, she’s not aroused. She’s terrified. I smash my way through the unconscious minds of werewolves preparing to shift. Their eyes glitter with lust while their mouths salivate with the need to feed on flesh—Human flesh. When I finally reach the pond, I’m back to hating Metas again—hating everyone, actually.
My dream stalker is not sitting by the water. But he’s left his calling card—the two lotus blossoms, the symbol I’m supposed to figure out. At this point, I don’t care what it means. If I had a segif with me, I’d shoot it.
He sneaks up behind me, silent as a ghost, as usual.
“I can’t do this,” I say. I start to whirl around to face him, but he snags my wrists in his hands, capturing me.
“Neither can I,” he growls, his voice taut. “I can’t not love you,” he breathes into my ear.
“I can’t love you,” I say simultaneously.
My stalker stills.
I cease resisting.
The blossoms stop spinning. The water stops lapping against the shore. The entire forest seems to have caught its breath.
My chest feels like it’s strangling, dying before its time. My heart beats against my ribcage like pounding fists, begging to be freed.
“So it’s as I feared,” he says, his voice dejected.
“I don’t know.” Tears fill my eyes. “I’m so confused. Everything’s happening too fast.”
“What’s happening to you?” he says, clenching my wrists. “Tell me.”
“I’ve lost my brother and with the only one left to care for is you. And you’re the enemy,” I say, the tears spilling down my cheeks.
“Stop resisting.” He releases my wrists and pulls me against his rock hard body. “The moment I laid eyes on you, I knew.”
“But you’re the enemy,” I say again. “You killed my kind.”
He stiffens. His breathing comes hard and fast against my back.
“I lost in the war, too, Sakhi,” he growls.
“What’s worse than losing your family?” I cry.
“I lost my child,” he says, his voice cracking.
I stop breathing. “Your what?”
“My little girl. She was only one. I was on the battle lines so knew nothing of this until I returned—not a thing.” His voice cracks again, as if fractured with the pain of the memory. “Her mother died at childbirth. She was drained while giving birth. Drained. By someone who’s heart is beyond dark. A Meta, evil to the bone. A Human took my child in. Someone wounded in the war. But then he sold her. To the highest bidder. A scum of a man with greed in his soul who only wanted revenge. How can you sell a child?” His breathing increases, pumping madly against my chest. “So I came home from war, expecting to return to my mate and my child, only to return to nothing. I searched for the Meta. He eluded me. I searched for my little girl. I found her—dead at age two, killed in a raid. I hunted for the man who sold her but he eluded me. Now, I know where he is. It’s only a matter of time before I end his life.” He pauses, as if gathering his thoughts.
The tone of his voice makes me shiver. Barely breathing, I wish I knew who killed my mom. Would I want to end his life? The answer is clear. Yes.
“Evil isn’t about race or color. It simply exists. And yet you whimper about your losses,” he says. He shoves me away. His brilliant floral symbols extinguish, plunging us into darkness. “I lost everything at the hands of both Meta and Human. And then I found you. I thought you were the one to help me find my heart again. We have to lay down our weapons and make it right. If only you could see past your prejudice…”
I’m without words. He’s right. I’ve been too immersed in my own fear, suspicion, and sorrows to even consider anyone else might have suffered, be they vampire or witch, warlock or fae. I turn, eager to make amends. But he’s not there. His symbol is gone, and he’s gone with it.
I fall to my knees and sob in the dark, next to my pond, until I wake. My heart is shattered, ground to a bloody pulp.
My day at Uni-bosk proceeds with me barely participating. I’m listless. Heart heavy. Searching for a wa
y to make amends. If only you could see past your prejudice.
I shake my head. War is insane. Even more insane is people’s unwillingness to let love in…my unwillingness to let love in, however it comes. When I realize this, a stirring of hope pushes its way through my heart. Maybe change is possible. I pick up one of our successful grafts and study it.
“You did it,” I tell the plants. “Why can’t I? Maybe I can help my brother find his way, at least.”
The greenhouse door opens. My gaze lifts to see Thras, tersely regarding me.
“There you are, Miss Borren. Can I see you in my office? I need to ask you a few questions about the clinical trials we’ll be conducting.” His face is stern, the way it usually is when he addresses me here in the bosk.
“Sure,” I say.
He hesitates, his eyebrows stitched together. “Is everything all right?”
“Couldn’t be better,” I say, dropping my head so he can’t see the sorrow in my eyes. “I’ll be there in a moment.”
“Fine.” He gives me a cursory nod and slips away, leaving the door to bang shut.
A short while later, I’m standing in front of his desk, my stomach in knots, grasping my forearms. I’m about to open my mouth when his Uni-call chip buzzes.
He holds up one of his elegant fingers.
“One moment.” He connects the call and the holo-image of General Tso appears between us.
“Blüthe, we have a real problem on our hands,” the general says.
“Besides all the other conflict we’re trying to contain?” Thras says. “What is it? Out with it.”
“It’s that rat bastard rogue Meta. He’s escalated his attacks. Maybe he’s working with others because humans are being drained to within an inch of their life. We’ve got to find that bastard. String him up by his balls.”
I scan my brain for possibilities. Daylon comes to mind. His eyes…with those glints of red, they seem to emanate evil. And what if it’s the same one who drained my mother? Or my dream guy’s mate? Anything seems possible at this point. I shudder.
Thras’ face remains impassive as he considers the general’s words. Finally, he says, “If he’s escalated his attacks, we’ll escalate our efforts. I’ll double the man-power on this. Rest assured, the person responsible for these hideous acts against Humans will be brought to justice.”