Revive

by Mary Wasowski

  “Okay, don’t be mad at Trudie. I figured you would have tracked her down to get in a visit before you left for LA, so I asked her to bring you here if you two did get together. Be mad at me if you want someone to blame.”

  “Nick, that’s just it. I am not mad at anyone. I just wanted some girl talk with my friend, and then I have to meet mom for dinner.”

  “Well, I have to meet my mother for dinner too, so why don’t we make it a double feature and all meet up at Rocco’s later this evening.”

  “Nick, I don’t know.”

  “Please, Thea. I know it would make our mothers happy, and then if you allow me to, I would like to clear the air with you. We have some things to discuss, and I need time to do that. Please, you owe me that much.”

  My heart was in my throat just listening to his voice. He was calm and steady, where I was practically climbing out of my skin.

  “Okay,” I whispered.

  His smile was beautiful, and clearly, agreeing to dinner just made his day.

  “I best be getting back to work. I’ll call my mom and let her know you will be joining us. See you later, T.”

  “Yeah, see you, Nick.”

  Oh, holy hell! What did I just agree to?

  Oh my God, what did I just do? Yeah, asshole, you invited Thea and her mom to join you and your mom for dinner. You know that was just a cover to get her in the same room with you. I just had her in my bar and I could have talked with her then, but I was already hours into my day and did not accomplish one thing I was supposed to be doing other than searching the city for Thea. I knew calling Trudie was a smart move. That girl had the 411 on everyone in our circle and more.

  Walking in and hearing Karen rip into Thea was not something I expected. Karen had come a long way since her deadbeat husband split. The kids were doing fantastic in school and hopefully by the end of the year, Karen would open up her salon. I offered my help with anything she needed to get her business off the ground. She worked like a dog to provide for her kids, and even though she drove me completely insane and ran her mouth more than I would like, she was honest to the core and would give you the shirt off her back if you asked.

  We never worked out as anything other than friends, even though she would have liked more. I wasn’t ready back then to begin anything new. I certainly cared about Karen enough not to hurt her with unrealistic expectations. She dated occasionally but focused more on her kids and their future as a family. Her therapy helped, but clearly she didn’t use those tools today while coming face to face with the one person she probably despised most, Thea.

  Karen never understood us, she told me this all the time, but I would ignore it and zone her out. After Karen spread the rumor about us doing it on the night Thea broke my heart, I was so fucking livid with her, I threatened to cut her out of my life. Karen had her share of issues, but she wasn’t a bad person. That’s why I always gave her the benefit of the doubt. Of course, Thea never understood the compassion I had for Karen, but my father always told me that if you looked deep enough, you would find the good in everybody. I took that advice and found the good in Karen, not caring what anyone else thought.

  I made a mental note to talk to Karen about what I walked in on, but I had to deal with Thea first. My conversation with my mother kept weighing heavily on my mind, and I needed answers. I knew I couldn’t have Thea leave again without giving them to me.

  By the time I arrived back at the firehouse, the guys were way into their shift with only a few calls this morning. It was a light day, and I was thankful for it. Tony and Spinelli kept the house under control after I left after this morning’s roll call.

  “All okay, Chief?” Tony asked as he popped his head in my office.

  “Yeah, what about here? All good?”

  “Smooth sailing, Chief. No worries. And Leslie is still at lunch, but your phone is on service at the moment.”

  “Okay, thanks, man. I got it from here.”

  He closed the door behind him, and my plan was to work for the rest of the day, shower here, and then leave to go get mom. When I called her to tell her about dinner, she was happy knowing she was going to see Frannie again, with the added bonus of prying more info out of Thea. I love her, but she had to leave the reconciling to me—or closure, depending how the evening went.

  Surprisingly, the rest of my afternoon flew by, and I got myself in check. I had some time to process the conversation with my mom earlier this morning about Thea. I still really hadn’t come up with any resolutions to my past, but some of the anger I felt had slipped away.

  What the hell did we really know back then? We were young and just graduated college. We were friends since we were kids. When our fathers died, we comforted our close-knit group and then each other. Not sure when it happened, but I stopped treating Thea like my kid sister and my feelings changed for her.

  When I caught one of her dates getting rough with her down at the bowling alley, I nearly lost my fucking mind and beat the shit out of him. Tony had been there with his girlfriend and called me to come down right away. Mom lent me her car, and I took off as if I was running off to a rescue; in a way it was. When I got there and scanned the room, Thea and the guy were on the lanes arguing. Tony said the guy shoved her, but that was all. Thea got all up in his face and shoved back, but then the asshole went back to bowling. Why didn’t she just leave then? She was so freaking stubborn and too tough for her own good.

  I stayed behind with Tony and remained silent until she gave me a sign that would confirm that she needed me. It didn’t take long because the asshole got in her face again, but this time he held her chin. Hell no! He was going to be kissing the floor in two seconds. Tony knew and offered help, but I had this with no assistance necessary. I charged that dickhead with rapid speed and knocked him so far, he ended up halfway down the lane. Thea gasped but quickly stepped out of the way. I grabbed him by his collar and punched him so hard that it resulted in bone crunching sounds. His nose took the worst of it.

  “Who the hell are you? You broke my fucking nose!” he yelled.

  “I’m your worst fucking nightmare, asshole! And if you ever lay your hands on Thea or any other girl in this neighborhood, then next time they will be carrying you out in a body bag. Do you hear me?” I shouted at the top of my lungs.

  He just nodded, and I dropped him back down to the floor. I grabbed Thea by her hand and got her out of there with rousing applause following us out. This was our turf, and no one messed with us. He was clearly an outsider that didn’t belong here.

  Thea was quiet until I got her in the car, and then she did something that I didn’t see coming. She lunged forward at me and crushed her lips down to mine, kissing the ever-loving shit out of me. I returned her kiss and held her face in my hands. When we pulled away from each other, I leaned in so our foreheads touched, and I got my breathing under control.

  She said, “Thank you, Nick, for coming for me. I’m not sure how you knew, but thank you.”

  “Tony called me.”

  “Of course, I should have known, where there’s one, there’s two.”

  “Hey, don’t be mad, if it wasn’t for Tony calling me, you may have been hurt by this jerk.”

  “I know. I’m sorry for snapping at you. I am grateful for you coming for me. I agreed to go out with him as a favor to Trudie, because she is dating his cousin.”

  “Well, I’m sure she didn’t know she was setting you up with an abuser, so don’t be mad at her.”

  “I’m not, and when I tell her, she’s probably going to feel awful about it. Nick, can I ask you a question?”

  “You know you can ask me anything.”

  “Why did you kiss me?”

  “Thea, I think the bigger question you should be asking is why I haven’t kissed you sooner? Because for the life of me, I don’t know why I waited so long. The minute I found out you were in danger tonight, something just snapped inside of me, and all I wanted to do was to protect you and make you mine.”

/>   “Mine? As in your girlfriend? Is that what you are saying?”

  “Yeah, that is exactly what I am saying. So, how about it? Would you consider going out with me? On a real date where I can take you out for dinner and a movie, and if I’m lucky, maybe you will allow me to walk you to your door and kiss you goodnight?”

  “I think that sounds perfect, Nick, and yes, you may take me out. How about Saturday night?”

  “It’s a date.”

  She allowed me to kiss her again before I drove her home and walked her to her door. Her mom was waiting up and was surprised to see me. She just gave me a curious smile, and it was beyond awkward at that point, so I said good night to Thea and went home.

  “Dammit, Thea, we had so much after that kiss, didn’t we? Or was I just seeing what I wanted so desperately to believe?” I said aloud, not noticing Leslie standing in front of my desk.

  “I apologize, Chief Bartelli. I knocked a couple of times before entering.”

  “It’s fine. What can I do for you?”

  “You asked me to remind you of the time so you would not be late picking up your mother for dinner.”

  “Oh man, tell me that I am not late.”

  “Not yet, but you should leave now. By the way, your mother called and is waiting for you over at….let me check my notes here…oh yes, Mrs. Falcone’s home.”

  Well, isn’t this just great! Mom and Frannie were already together, conspiring and coming up with a game plan for tonight. Those two were always thick as thieves, but when I got a second alone with my mother, I would reiterate once again to stay out of my business with Thea.

  “Thank you, that will be all, Leslie. You can leave for the night.”

  “Thank you, sir. I will see you in the morning.”

  It was a warm night with a light breeze. Mom and Frannie were drinking tea on the porch, and I didn’t see any sign of Thea. Mom greeted me first with a hug and kiss, and then Frannie followed suit.

  “It is so nice of you to invite me along tonight, Nick. We haven’t done this since your mother moved to Florida.”

  “It’s my pleasure, Frannie. Um…is Thea ready to go?” I asked expectantly.

  Her face had fallen a bit as she looked over to mom and then back to me.

  “Oh, Nick, I’m sorry, but Thea was called back to Los Angeles for work. She left about an hour ago for the airport.”

  Fucking A! She did it again.

  “I just can’t believe you, Thea Marie Falcone!”

  “Trudie, please stop screaming at me, and just listen for a second. This is partly your fault for blindsiding me. I was totally caught off guard. What were you thinking taking me back to a place that meant so much to all of us back in the day, and then I come to find out that Nick now owns Delfino’s?”

  “Okay, don’t get your thong twisted up. He called and asked me if you had been in touch, and at the time I said no. He asked me to let him know when you called, and if I could assist him with a chance meeting, then he would be eternally grateful. Come on, T. What crime did I commit here?”

  “A crime against friendship! No one wants to be blindsided, Trudie, and it’s been years since I laid eyes on him. You took a huge gamble on our ‘chance meeting,’ because it included me getting told off by Karen.”

  “Yeah, sorry about that. I think she is too, but that’s another conversation for another time. Are you at the airport now?”

  “Yes, and I’m about to board my flight. Please don’t be mad at me for leaving. I just can’t do this again with Nick. It’s for the best.”

  “You mean running, and I can never be too mad at you. But I think you are making a mistake.”

  “Wouldn’t be the first one! Love ya, Tru.”

  “Yeah, me too. Call me when you get back to LA.”

  “I will, I promise. I’m sure I will have a lot to tell you after Carter dumps me.”

  “T, you don’t know that, and besides, he asked you right? You’re the one that can’t give him an answer. Think about why that is, and maybe you will understand why I blindsided you today. Have a nice flight.”

  She ended our call, and my heart just about shattered. I thought to myself, you are a fool, Thea Marie Falcone. You have two guys falling all over you, and you don’t even know what the hell you want.

  The attendant announced, “Final call for Flight #4567 to Los Angeles boarding now at Gate 32.”

  I flung my bag over my shoulder and boarded my flight. I took my seat in first class and was handed a hot towel. I wished it was a pillow so I could scream in it at the top of my lungs.

  I looked down at my watch and knew mom would still be at dinner with Stella and Nick. I wanted to hear her voice and tell her how much I loved her and to not hate me for leaving. I knew she would never, but I still needed her assurance.

  I sent her a text instead:

  ME: I love you, mom, always and forever. Please don’t hate me for running away again and not facing what was right in front of me. I have to straighten out my present before I can even think of my past. Please don’t say anything to Nick about Carter. I love you.

  I powered my phone down without waiting for her reply. I hadn’t talked to Carter since our fight. I expected him to call me, but he was probably hurt over my constant delay of accepting his proposal. I would have dumped me a long time ago, but he promised me after our first date that he saw something special when he looked at me and that I was worth falling for. Yeah, Carter Newbanks knew how to charm the panties right off me, and I fell hard for him in return. So what’s the issue then? Why can’t I marry him?

  Five and a half hours later, my plane was taxiing to the gate. I made my way through LAX, and then I saw Carter standing outside the terminal holding a sign that nearly stopped me in my tracks.

  I could barely see him through my tears. As I walked faster to him, he dropped the sign and met me halfway. Once I reached him, he took me in his arms and kissed me madly until I was breathless. People near us were applauding.

  “How did you know I’d be here?” I asked.

  He looked in my eyes while still holding me tightly in his embrace. He said, “I called your mother. She told me what flight you were on, but not before I introduced myself and promised I would fly to New York soon for a proper introduction.”

  “I didn’t know, Carter. She never mentioned it.”

  “I asked her not to. She did say you finally told her about me. Hearing that gave me some hope for us.”

  “I have been such a fool and want to tell you all about it, but I can’t here in the middle of the airport. Can you take me home?”

  “Not the answer I was expecting, but the night is still young. Let’s go.”

  Driving back to my condo was worse than getting my first root canal, but staying silent was the right thing to do. I needed to figure out what I was going to say to Carter. He remained focused on the road, and once he parked the car, he escorted me into my house. He never asked if he could stay. He just followed in behind me.

  Before I could say anything else, he had me backed up against the door with my legs wrapped around his waist. If anything, we always had hot sex. My hands were pinned at my sides and was caged in with no room at all to move.

  He whispered, “God, I want you. I need you, baby. Please for once just let your guard down and let me love you.”

  “Yes,” I answered him breathlessly.

  Without setting me down, he walked us to my bedroom. When we reached my bed, he placed me down gently in the middle and took in a deep breath as if it was the first time looking at me. His eyes told a story, and at that moment, I didn’t doubt my feelings for him and didn’t give any more thought to my brief trip to New York.

  He stepped back, removed his jacket and tie, and slowly pulled his shirt from his pants. Carter had a way of teasing the shit out of me and leaving me dizzy as I took in his amazing body. He was built with perfect abs and a lean torso trailing all the way down to a perfectly sculpted V muscle. He was bare from the waist up, and
I was already lost to him.

  “Thea, sit up and take off your clothes. I want to see you.”

  I hesitated for a brief moment, and this time around he didn’t ask, he demanded.

  “It’s not a request. Take off your clothes now, and while you do so, do not take your eyes off me. Understand?”

  “Yes, I understand.”

  “That’s my girl,” he said as he leaned in to take my mouth again.

  What I had with Carter worked for us. It wasn’t exactly a dominant/submissive relationship per se, but when I felt I was at my most vulnerable, that’s when it came easy to give myself completely over to Carter and submit to whatever he asked, which fulfilled a greater need in me. The way he was tonight was similar to the first time we slept together. It was shortly after our first date, which was followed by many more firsts.

  I only had a small number of boyfriends to compare him to, and even then, that seemed unfair, but Carter was an exceptional and very skilled lover who never left me disappointed. The first time he invited me to his bed, he hardly had to try, as I went willingly. He kept dropping hints throughout the day that it would be happening soon and to be ready. Just his elusive warning made me wet between my legs and soaked my panties.

  The coat closet was an interesting time. He fucked me so hard with his fingers that if it wasn’t for the rolled-up handkerchief he had in his pocket, I probably would have screamed the door off from our secret tryst.

  As gorgeous as he was, you’d never know how kinky he really was just by looking at him. Carter Newbanks was easy on the eyes, not one ounce of fat on him. He prided himself in clean living, exercising, and nutritious eating. With just a smile followed by a wink, any woman in a ten-mile radius was a goner.

  I, on the other hand, was not easy to love, that’s for sure. That fact had been proven with every failed relationship I had since Nick. And now Carter wanted to marry me. He said he wanted to build a life with me and that would include kids and very soon. I was over 30, and mama never ceased to remind me that my biological clock was ticking away.