“Look, Nick, I am not going to bite…okay maybe a little, but I’ll listen first, I promise.”
“You were right. Today was a complete disaster, and I should have listened to you.”
“For what it is worth, I didn’t want to be right.”
“Not even a little? Come on, Karen, you can’t stand Thea and any misery she gets. You are not losing sleep over it.”
“A long time ago, that may have been true, but not anymore. It’s time to grow up and leave the high school bullshit where it belongs.”
“And where’s that? In the past?”
“More like in the dumpster. I’m so over it, and that goes for my no-good ex-husband too.”
“Why mention him?”
“While you were closing the book to Nick and Thea, I was closing mine with Alex. He showed up today at the bar.”
“Why didn’t you call me?”
I nearly broke my glass after hearing about her ex unexpectedly showing up. He was always an asshole, and I didn’t want him near Karen or my bar.
“You were not available, and it wasn’t as bad as you think.”
“First of all, unless I am in a fire, I am never unavailable, especially when it comes to you and my bar.”
“Thanks, I needed to hear that, and happy to see that I rate higher than the bar.”
“Well, it’s kind of even, but you could always tip the scales in your favor,” I joked.
She smiled, and it was nice to see that she was beginning to relax.
I asked, “Please, tell me what he wanted.”
I widened my legs and gave her the hint that I wanted her in between them. She placed her wine down and crawled over. Right here in this moment with Karen, it just felt right. I knew I didn’t deserve her, but I was happy for the first time today and wasted no time in wrapping my arms around her. Karen needed to be held and shown that she was wanted. Her asshole husband never appreciated what he had with her and had to live with that regret.
“He came to apologize, if you could believe that, and then handed me an envelope filled with cash, a little over $3,000. And he said the rest would arrive to me through a wire transfer at the first of each month. I told you that he’s been out in Oregon. Well, he’s been working construction. He told me he’s been working double shifts and taking all the overtime that’s offered. He said he’s been saving up and wanted to deliver my first payment in person.”
“Come on, Karen. You didn’t believe that load of crap he was feeding you, right? I mean, 3G’s is a lot of money, and a plane ticket didn’t come cheap either. He’s got to be doing something shady out there.”
“At this point, I don’t care. I took that money and went shopping for my girls today. I bought my babies new clothes, shoes, sneakers, and whatever else they wanted. Here’s the kicker, my girls would have been happy with a trip to the dollar store if it meant having their father back. Trinity doesn’t know Alex as well as Gigi does, but at the end of the day, he is still their father, and he wants to see them before he leaves.”
“No, Karen, you can’t allow it. He is no good for you, and he is worse for those girls.”
“It’s not your decision, Nick, and I wasn’t asking your opinion.”
“Then why tell me at all? You had to know I wouldn’t like it.”
“Yeah, and what’s it to you anyway?” Karen practically elbowed me in the ribs to break free of me.
“Karen, will you hold on a second. It matters to me, okay? I care about you and your girls. I don’t want to see you get hurt anymore by his broken promises. I’m not a father, you have me on that one, but I do know what disappointment is and saw it on the night I picked you up and Gigi wished I was someone else. She’s just a kid, and her heart is fragile. She doesn’t need Alex coming back in her life and totally shattering her hope. Let me talk with him first, and then if I feel he is legitimately on the up and up, then the girls could see him, but with me there.”
“You know Nick, you sound as if you have a right to say these things. Why is that? You never have before, and it makes me wonder why you care so much about Alex and him seeing the girls, or better yet, his place in their lives. You may not have kids, but you sure do sound like you want them.”
“I do, that’s no secret,” I told her.
“I thought we were going to take it slow.”
“I don’t think I can do slow, and I don’t want to. Today with Thea, I did everything wrong, and I kissed her. I don’t even remember how it happened and even why I did it, but she did not return it, and I was lucky she didn’t slap me. She confessed that she knew all along that I had been accepted into the academy. Can you believe that? She knew, babe, and didn’t say a word to me about it. When Thea watched me get on the table, she said she thought I might have changed my mind about the academy. Once I said the words, her plan changed and we were over, I just didn’t know it yet. My announcement stopped her from making hers, and it was all she needed to break-up with me. Over the years, I always wondered how she made it to the top without really putting in the work yet, and then after I pushed her to tell me the truth, it all made sense.”
“What made sense?”
“All of the unanswered questions. She said she had some friends in high places that pulled some strings and got her the job out in California. The position she thought she had in New York fell through. She found out the day before the party, and she was going to tell me when we could be alone. You see, as much as she cared about me, she knew I would never leave New York, so placing the blame on me was easier than telling me the truth. We argued. I chased her. Once I reached her, I pulled her from a freaking cab and dragged her back to the park and kissed her. We sat and talked, and she put it all out there for me. She said coming home the first time was hard and emotional. Old feelings had resurfaced, but that’s exactly what they were, old. We each played a part on what happened all those years ago and blamed each other too. Then, the best part…her dreamy fiancé showed up, and she lit up like the night fucking sky. It was driven home right there that the closure we had been needing was found.”
“So, you kissed her,” Karen said.
“That’s right.”
“Will you be doing it again?”
“Not if I don’t want a punch to my face.”
“Please tell me, Nick, can I trust you? Because I want to more than anything, but I will not be second choice to no guy, no matter how much I want him.”
I stood up and now was face to face with Karen. Man, she was beautifully broken, but not for long.
“I swear to you on the memory of my father that you, Karen Lombardi, can trust me. If you give me a chance, I swear I will prove it. I want to be in your life. I want to be in here,” I placed my palm over her heart. “Give me a chance, Karen, one more chance to show you that I am one of the good guys.”
After Carter found me in Bryant Park, the drive home was met with silence. It wasn’t the awkward kind but more of a peaceful one. Carter never stopped touching me. His hand was at the nape of my neck, as his body was turned into mine, and his other hand was entwined with mine. He couldn’t have been physically closer unless he was on top of me, and knowing Carter, he would have if we were in a private car.
I was wiped out from everything that happened today with Nick. I wanted to visit with mama, but I spoke with her and she assured me that she was fine and would see me in the morning. She shared the good news that she was being discharged. The doctors may have waited another day or two, but since I hired a full-time live-in nurse, they signed off on her paperwork. Our plane had been chartered, and we were leaving first thing Sunday morning.
I knew I had to address the elephant in the room but wanted to remain in our bubble for a few more minutes. I quickly changed and showered, and then when I came downstairs, Carter had dinner waiting for me. He ordered a large pie with some very messy chicken wings. He set up a blanket on the floor, and we ate picnic style. I loved every minute of it and loved Carter even more for making me so happ
y.
It was already so late by the time we finished eating and cleaning up. Carter extended his hand, and I took it without hesitation. Clicking off the lights, I followed him upstairs to my bedroom. He lit some candles and said he just wanted to look at me in the glow of the flickering lights. He never stopped telling me how much he loved the shape of my body and how sexy it was completely bare to him. Never to waste a moment of our time together, he got busy removing my clothes and then all his, landing in a pile on the floor.
“Let’s go to bed,” he said.
His tone was soft, but not to be questioned. Once I was settled, he pulled me closer to where my back was on his front. His arms were wrapped around my body, and his leg was over mine. I was completely wrapped around Carter, and I could not move if I wanted to.
“I love you, Thea,” he said as he placed kisses along my neck. I remained silent while he touched me and relaxed us both into a blissful state.
“When I didn’t hear from you today, I was beside myself. I never wanted you to go to him, but I knew there was no stopping you either. You only texted me once, and that was not nearly enough attention I required from you. I managed to get through my day and actually work, all with you on my mind. What were you doing? What could you be talking about with him? Would you leave him for me? I can’t even begin to explain how irrational that is to feel helpless and so unsure of a relationship. My mind kept retreating to the night I came home and found the house lit up with candles and flowers, and you proposing to me, and how we made love all through the night. And then we came here, and all hell broke loose.”
I rolled over to face him, comfort him, and show him how much I loved him.
“I’m sorry, Carter. You have been my rock throughout this entire ordeal with my mom. I love you so much for never leaving my side.”
“Where else would I be? Do you really know how much I love you? Because up until today, I didn’t really know if that proposal back in California was real or not?”
“Of course it was. Please do not ever doubt me.”
“You gave me reason to, I’m sorry, but you did. Ever since you left me alone to come back here, you were not you, and I hated it. I hated the fact that your heart was so conflicted and you didn’t know who you wanted, so when you proposed, I had a sliver of doubt. That doubt was erased today, and I promise you that I will never mistrust you again.”
“Okay, how were you convinced? If you don’t mind me asking.”
“I don’t mind. I saw you with him, and you two looked deep in thought and conversation, and my heart nearly dropped. I was thinking that he finally had gotten through and you were going to tell me to take a hike. You don’t know how foolish I feel about that.”
“Carter, never. I am never going to leave you. In fact, I want to marry you as soon as I can. I want everything with you, the sooner the better. I have made so many mistakes with my life, and I never held myself accountable for them. It was so easy to blame others for my choices. And then when Nick grabbed and kissed me, I knew it was the last thing I would ever want.”
“What?” he roared. “Are you telling me that he put his hands on you again and kissed you again?”
“Yes, he did, but I shoved him away.”
“I can’t fucking believe this guy. I mean, does he have a screw loose or something? He doesn’t see you in over ten years, and suddenly he is madly in love and wants you back? No! He cannot have you back, nor does he have the right to ever believe touching another man’s woman is okay! Fuck!”
“Listen to me, what you overheard when you approached us was me telling him exactly that. Nick is my past, you are my future. Please believe me.”
“I do, baby, I do,” he said as he calmed and pulled me back to him. “It just makes me insane knowing he has had so much of you, and I still feel as if I am just scratching the surface. I want in, Thea. I have to be all in.”
“You are, my love, only you.”
“Good. So when are we getting married?”
“The sooner the better, but let’s get mama well first, okay?”
“Okay.”
The candles had dimmed out, but it was our love that burned brightly and strong. Carter and I had been through so much together and weathered another storm that threatened to tear us apart. My past had that much power over me, and I was so happy to finally have kicked it to the curb today. I still believe Nick and I could have said more to each other, but with Carter interrupting when he did, it was my fiancé giving me the strength to say goodbye and mean it this time.
He made mad passionate love to me throughout the night, and then held me until I fell asleep. Without a doubt, this is where I wanted to be. The upcoming months would be extremely busy for us with the election coverage to produce and Carter probably re-joining the campaign at some point. I also had to consider mama and her recovery. She looked more like herself as each day passed and certainly wasn’t showing any signs of slowing down in her therapy, so I was hopeful.
“You look wonderful, mom,” I said as I kissed her cheek.
“I feel wonderful, Thea, and don’t you go worrying yourself over me.”
“Only if you promise to follow your doctor’s orders.”
“I will,” she reassured.
“And listen to your nurse.”
“I will. I promise.”
“Okay, I am going to believe you, mom, and not think for one second that you don’t have your fingers crossed behind your back.”
“Ha, you know me so well, but I wouldn’t joke about something like this.”
“Atta girl,” I smiled.
Carter helped my mom upstairs, while I went over everything with Mrs. Benson about mom’s rehabilitation. She was a very serious woman who would have her hands full with my mom who was the total carefree spirit and would probably try to win Mrs. Benson over with baked goods.
After going over everything, Mrs. Benson was ready to begin with mom, but I asked for a few minutes alone first. The fridge was well-stocked with everything they would need. Equipment had been delivered, and friends had been over already and would be making routine checks. I knew I could return home in confidence that she would be in very capable hands. I made my way upstairs to my mom’s room and was about to go in when I heard mom talking with Carter.
“Carter, I know we met under unfortunate circumstances. For that, I am sorry. If you and Thea hadn’t arrived when you did, then I would have never had the opportunity to meet the man whom my daughter loves very much. I prayed on this, Carter, you will never know how much. All I wanted for Thea is to be happy; it’s what her father would have wanted. I want to know when I’m gone that she will be able to move forward and not get lost in the past like she did when her father died. No child should ever have to go through that, but she survived and managed to have a pretty good life.”
“I love your daughter, Frannie, and I promise you that I am going to make her very happy for everyday of her life.”
“You already do, and I am looking forward to dancing at your wedding. Go be happy and live your life, and please do not worry about me. You have your work, and you have barely had a moment to celebrate your engagement. By the way, I still owe you an engagement party. It’s one thing around this neighborhood we do know how to do, and quite well.”
“I’m sure you do, but totally unnecessary. I have waited so long for Thea to say yes to my proposal, and then she goes and proposes to me. It was amazing, Frannie. Your daughter definitely knows how to make someone swoon. If it’s all the same to you, I think we just want to skip a lot of the steps and go right for the wedding. We want to be married as soon as we can.”
“Well then, I guess I better get myself in gear and begin all those fancy exercises.”
“Please, grant me one request?” he asked.
“Of course, name it.”
“You have been through a lot. Isn’t Sunday a day for rest? Please take today to do just that, and then tomorrow you can take on the world.”
“Okay,
I promise.”
“Atta girl,” he smiled.
I wiped away my tears and knocked on my mother’s door.
“Hey, is this a party? And why was I not invited?”
They both laughed, with Carter giving me the sexiest smile, a smile that could bring me down to my knees and pleasure the hell out of him. Sexy beast! I can’t have these thoughts, especially when I am standing in my mother’s bedroom.
He took me in his arms and whispered in my ear, “I guess it was your turn to eavesdrop, right, love?”
“How did you know?” I asked.
“Because I know you. I feel when you are near, because I love you that much.”
“I know you do.”
“I’ll be downstairs. Remember our agreement,” he said as he waved his finger toward my mom. She laughed and crossed her heart. I waited until I knew Carter was all the way downstairs before I began my talk with mom. I sat beside her and held the hands that matched my own.
“I don’t want to leave you, but I must,” I said.
“I know, but you have to get back to work. Look what you have done with just a few calls made. I am in good hands, I promise.”
“I know, mama, but I should be the one doing these things for you, not a stranger I hired.”
“Thea, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I am just sad that I have to leave, that’s all.”
“Are you sure? Because if memory serves, I believe you were to meet with Nick two days ago. Did you work things out?”
“I guess we did for the most part, and for what we didn’t, we both have to come to terms with it and just move on.”
“Saying the words and then actually standing behind them are two very different things. Are you sure you are ready to do so?”
“I have to be, mama, or I will lose Carter, and that is not what I want. I have lived too many years alone, and when I wasn’t, I was spending those years pushing away people who loved and fought so hard for me to open my heart. As you can see, he finally won.”
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