“Nick, everything that happened in there was good, right? Please tell me she wasn’t just being nice for your benefit.”
“Come on, do you not know Stella Bartelli? That woman would not invite you to dinner if she didn’t want you there. Believe me, baby, she was sincere, and I know she’s happy for us.”
“Okay, I will believe you, but if you are messing with me, I will punch you.”
“Okay, you can hit me, as long as after you kiss it and make it all better. I love you, honey, now let’s get you home before I’m late for work,” I said.
“I love you too. It feels so good to say those words to you.”
“Yeah, I know the feeling.”
After dropping off Karen, I stopped at the local Starbucks and grabbed another coffee. It was Spinelli’s week for kitchen, and his coffee always tasted like mud. He and Tony shared the same handicap when it came to making coffee. I made my way in, and Spinelli and Tony just finished with morning roll call and start of shift assignments. I greeted the guys and then walked straight through to my office, where Leslie was waiting for me.
“Good morning, Chief. Ready to begin?”
“Good morning, Leslie. Mind if I hang my jacket first?”
“Of course, take your time.”
“Don’t tell me that. I may just take you up on that offer.”
She looked nervous and said, “That was a joke, right, Chief?”
“Yes, I was joking. Give me ten minutes, and then we will go through my day.”
“That’s perfectly acceptable. I’ll just be outside.”
I shook my head and went back to drinking my coffee and took time to send Karen a text.
ME: Thinking of you. And thank you for staying the night. I hope to have more sleepovers in our future.
KAREN: Me too! I loved waking up with you this morning. It felt right.
ME: I agree, and we will talk soon about our sleeping arrangements. Have a great day!
KAREN: You do the same, and be safe.
The comfortable banter that Karen and I had with each other flowed so easily. We always had it to some degree, but now that our status changed, it just felt natural. She was slowly breaking down her walls. Her ex-husband was on my mind, especially after the night I shared with her. After revealing my true feelings for her and my intentions for our future, it was time to also send a message to Alex Mancini.
Over the years, I had made some friendships within the NYPD, and one of those contacts was also a very good customer of my bar. He frequented my place a few times a week. I made a note to make an appearance tonight, so I could ask a favor of him in hopes I could get around the system and find the answers I want.
I finished my shift and said goodbye to my guys. Spinelli was in charge doing a double, while Tony had a few hours remaining on his. Karen was off tonight from the bar, which was a plus for me. I knew she was having a girl’s night with her daughters and shopping for new things for the salon, which reminded me of another sensitive subject we needed to discuss. She was so excited to tell me that she acquired her space for the salon with an added bonus of a living space upstairs. She wanted out of the rundown home that she was renting and finally had something that belonged only to her.
After I told her that I loved her, all I wanted from that moment on was to have Karen and her girls with me, in my home. I had plenty of room for the girls and another baby once we married. Holy shit! Marriage? Here I was, dreaming of securing my life with Karen, and the only way to truly make that happen was to marry her and make her mine. I needed to accomplish that impossible feat. She didn’t want to be a kept woman and certainly didn’t need me riding in on a horse and being her knight and shining hero. Karen wanted love, real love that made her happy and feel secure. She never had that with Alex, and I wanted to be that man that would make all her dreams come true. I just needed to figure how I would do it.
As I entered my bar, my eyes scanned the place, and I saw just the person I wanted to see. Detective McCarthy was on the end stool, chatting it up with a few guys, probably other detectives from his precinct. I flipped the sidebar and walked over to the lively group. They all said hello in friendly exchanges, and then I asked to speak with McCarthy alone if he wouldn’t mind. He excused himself and followed me to my office.
“What can I do for you Bartelli?” he asked as he downed and finished off his beer.
“I need a favor, one that has to be off the books.”
“Okay, talk to me.”
“I mean it, McCarthy. It’s personal and has to remain that way. I need your assurance that we can keep this between us.”
“Nick, you can trust me. How many years do we go back?”
“Too many to count. Okay, I’m sorry. I just needed to say the words. I trust you, that’s why you’re here. I’m seeing someone very special who has a loser for an ex-husband. As far as I know, he’s living out in Oregon working some construction, but he’s also made an appearance here in New York last week. He wants back in her life, and I can’t allow that to happen. There’s young children involved, and I can’t have them hurt by someone who I know will hurt them again.”
“Nick, I can find out what I can, but I may find things that you may not want to hear. Are you ready for that?”
“I am. Just find out all you can for me, please?”
I handed him a piece of paper with Alex’s name and contact info on it. McCarthy said he would check it out and get back to me as soon as he could. I thanked him and shook his hand.
In my heart of hearts, I knew I was doing the right thing. If this was just a regular amicable divorce, I knew I would have to respect his role in their lives and hope he would respect mine, but Alex was different. This guy used Karen, and when he got bored, he left her with two young girls to raise on her own and fucking took every last cent she busted her ass to earn. Now he was back and hoping to reconnect with the family he abandoned. No! I don’t trust him, and neither should Karen. I meant what I said when I told her that I loved her. My love came with protection for not only Karen, but her girls too. They were great and needed a positive role model in their lives. We had already come so far in the last few weeks spending time together and getting closer. Before I gave her ex the benefit of the doubt, I needed more information first.
On my drive home from the bar, I texted Karen when I was outside of her house. It was too late to go in, so I asked her to come outside.
“Hey, baby, are you okay?” she asked as she walked out, wrapping a sweater around her body.
The temperature dropped about ten degrees, so I had the heat on inside my truck, knowing she would step up to join me. She closed the passenger door and leaned in to kiss me, which I returned passionately, running my fingers through her hair.
“Nick, I can’t stay long and have to get back to the girls. If they wake up and I’m not there, they will be scared.”
“Invite me in, and I’ll kiss you the way you want me too.”
“I can’t, Nick,” hesitation was in her voice. “If they woke up and saw you, it would just be confusing for them.”
“Okay, and I’m sorry for suggesting it. I just missed you today, and I am not looking forward to going home to a quiet house and even a lonelier bed.”
“You are so sweet and make it very difficult for me to say no to you. Please understand, Nick, I want you too, but I need to figure some things out and then talk with the girls.”
“I know. The last thing I want to do is run you off,” I said.
“Let’s not get crazy now. I would never run when it took me too many years to finally get you. I just need to figure out the logistics. I had planned on moving to the new place with the girls, and now you want us in your home. That is a lot to take in.”
“It’s no secret, babe, I do want you. In my home. In my bed. In my life. I want us to be a family, but wanting all of those things does not mean I want you to lose your independence. You have worked so hard to make the dream of owning your own salon a reality, and no
w you have it. Before you agree to anything permanent with me, I want you to be sure, and I will be patient enough to wait. I will wait as long as I need to because you are worth it.”
I cupped her face and kissed her hard until we were breathless.
I told her, “God, I want you, but you need to get out of my truck now, or I may not be able to stop.”
“Yeah? And I may just let you too! I love you, Nick. Good night.”
She kissed me quickly and leaped from my truck and quickly ran up to her door. She waved goodbye as I drove home with a painful case of blue balls. I promised her patience, and I was praying I could hold onto that vow until she was ready to take the next step with me, or as mom would always say, leap.
“You know, mom, this is not a rewind to my teen years. You don’t always have to wait up for me,” I said as I entered my home and saw her sitting upright on the couch, pretending to read her book.
“I know, son, but I couldn’t sleep.”
“Are you okay?” I asked now with concern.
“I am, just tired. I spent the day with Frannie after she had her rehab session.”
“How is she doing? Is she up for dinner this week?”
“She’s doing really well and excited to join us tomorrow night. She’s ready to cut off the watchdog Thea had hired.”
I laughed hard because I knew how stubborn Frannie could be, but my mom was no different. These women were fiercely independent and amazingly strong.
“I’m happy she can make it. I’ll catch up with her tomorrow,” I said.
“Nick,” the way she said my name gave me a moment to pause.
“What’s up, mom?” I found myself asking defensively.
“Nick, before you get upset, it’s not what you think.”
“Okay, tell me then, because the tone you just used is never good.”
“It’s been too long since I have seen you this happy, and I just want to make sure you are okay. Just over a month ago, we were sitting here having a very different conversation, and now this morning, I see Karen walking hand in hand with you down the stairs as if you have been together for years. Tell me, Nick, how does that happen? And why the rush? Are you going to rush that girl into marriage to prove some kind of point that you can? Because if you do, you better be one hundred percent sure it’s Karen you want, and you’re not trying to fill some void that has been missing in your life.”
“It’s not what you think?” Her words were playing over in my mind on repeat. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to fucking scream or hit something. I didn’t want to lose my temper with my mother, but she was on thin ice and I didn’t like where this conversation had gone to.
“Mom, I love you, but you don’t know what you are talking about, especially when it comes to my feelings for Karen. This conversation is over, and I am asking you to respect my personal space while you are in my home.”
“Your home? As in what, Nick? I’m just a guest now? And I am not entitled to have a say in your home, the same home I raised you in? Wow, how times have changed, my son. I thought I was always welcomed in this house.”
“Mom! You are welcomed here. You know this, so stop trying to twist my words around to make me feel like the bad guy here and you the wronged one. You always do this, and it drives me up the fucking wall. I am a grown man, and what I do with my life is my business.”
“Watch your mouth! I am still your mother. You can be mad all you want, but you will respect me. And, I know how old you are, but I am still your mother. My role in your life never changes just because you grow up. I will always worry for you every single time you walk out your front door and run into a burning fire. It’s what I do, son, and I am sorry for overstepping, but why react so defensively for a few questions or concerns I may have?”
“I’m sorry,” I told her.
“Apology accepted.”
“I’m not so sure if I was being defensive, maybe it’s more like protection. When I’m with Karen, I just want to shield her from anyone and everything that has the power to hurt her. I’m just sorry it took me so long to see beyond what she shows to everyone else. I am falling in love with Karen Lombardi, who is sweet, caring, and badass all rolled into one. She’s a fighter and has had to do that for a long time now, and I want to show her that she doesn’t have to anymore. I know it’s soon, and maybe you are not the only one thinking it, but I don’t care. As much as I love and respect you, I need you to stay out of it. This is my life, and I will live it in the way that makes me happy. Karen, Gigi, and Trinity are now a big part of my life. I’m not alone anymore, and neither are they.”
“Oh, Nick, that’s all I want for you. I just wa…”
“Stop! Don’t finish that sentence. I said I was sorry, and I meant it, but this conversation is over. Are we still having dinner tomorrow night?”
“Of course we are,” she said.
“Great. I’ll see you then. Good night.”
I turned away from my mother and took the stairs up two steps at a time, trying to get as far away from her as I could. I knew her intentions were true and she was just concerned, but I was over it. First, she pushed for me to fight for Thea and reunite. That ship sunk before it could actually do one full cruise, and now when I was finally coming up for air, she shit all over it.
I would hate myself in the morning on how I spoke to her, but I wasn’t going to stand there and defend my relationship with Karen. I deserved some fucking happiness too. If Thea could do it, so could I. It just felt right and damn it to hell if I was going to deny myself of it. Fuck! I wish Karen was here right now.
After my shower, I reached for my phone to send her a text. I knew she would be sleeping by now, but I would be happy knowing that when she woke in the morning, she would see my message.
ME: I love you. I’m going to sleep now and will dream of you.
KAREN: I love you too. And that’s exactly what I was doing until my phone beeped. Xoxo!
I smiled and let out a deep sigh.
It’s going to be okay. I know it.
And before I drifted off into sleep, I said aloud, “Pleasant dreams, baby.”
My week was definitely ending on a high note. As luck would have it, Stan read the e-mail wrong and was mistaken about the date of the annual firefighter competition. It was actually being held on the last weekend of October, and I no longer needed to produce the segment. I wasn’t quite sure if it was just a simple mix-up in the dates, or if Carter’s talk with Stan forced his hand. Either way, our boss wasn’t happy that we had to issue a retraction to the incorrect information previously reported on. Instead of asking Carter, he had the morning anchors report the correct date for the event at the top of the news hour.
I was happy, and Carter was thrilled because it meant that I was able to join him in Las Vegas for the last presidential debate. He did a fabulous job moderating and handling the two candidates very well, if I did say so myself. Carter was the epitome of professionalism and class. He also hated to be interrupted when he was asking questions, and quickly shut that down early in the evening. I had my moments of freaking out from where I was observing. Stan was screaming at me through my ear piece, but I assured him that Carter had everything under control. He did post-debate reporting from the spin room, grabbing interviews with the candidates and their campaign managers.
Once we wrapped, Carter snagged my hand, and we celebrated our engagement down at the Bellagio Hotel while overlooking the beautiful fountains. We dined on oysters and killed two bottles of Cristal. It was heaven. Carter made love to me on practically every surface of our gorgeous suite. I’ll admit, I was a little sore the next morning, but it was the best kind of tenderness because it reminded me where Carter had been all throughout the night. He was an amazing lover, sometimes so gentle and then other times so passionate that he would just lose himself inside of me and we would be blissfully sated.
His apprehension and anger over Nick had subsided. He believed when I explained to him that it would be impossible
to completely shut Nick out with our mothers still very close friends. He didn’t miss a beat when he reminded me that I pretty much did accomplish cutting Nick off for the last decade plus, but I was a different person back then, and I was in a better place now.
It was Friday, and Carter was finishing up with his meeting with Stan. I was clearing my calendar for the weekend, excited to be driving up to Santa Barbara tomorrow to meet his mother. This would be the first time, and I was trying to tamper down my nerves. I loved his grandmother and enjoyed the times I was lucky enough to have spent time with her. His father, however, was another story entirely: totally entitled, old money with somewhat backward thinking. He was wickedly handsome, but there was coldness behind his eyes. Carter and his father, Lennox, did not have the warmest relationship. When his father suffered a health crisis of his own, Carter had a glimmer of hope they could repair the damage in their relationship, but it never happened.
Carter was never shy about his feelings when it came to me and our relationship. With his father, it was quite the opposite. I only had met Lennox Newbanks once at a fundraiser that Carter was emceeing. He insisted I dance with him and began questioning why I was with his son. It wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle, but sensing my stiffening stance, Carter interrupted us, and that was the last time I saw Lennox.
And now I finally would meet his mother, Clarissa. Carter kept several framed photos of her on the mantle above his fireplace and a few in his office. He was enamored with her, and based on the few details he did share with me on their relationship, they were very close.
I shut-down my computer, and by some small miracle, my desk was clean and all my tasks were completed. I was just about to lock up when my private line began to ring. I smiled when I saw it was mama calling me.
“Hi, mom, it’s so good to hear from you. How are you doing today?” I asked with fingers crossed.
“I am doing well, Thea, and I don’t want you to worry about me. I was just about to head to dinner with Stella. She’s leaving on Sunday for Florida and asked me to join her over at Nick’s home.”
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