The doctor said, “Welcome back, Mr. Bartelli. You are one lucky man.”
“I don’t feel so hot, doc. I am not sure that I am feeling lucky right now.”
“Well, you are, Nick. The blows to your head and neck did not cause any brain bleeds, but we had to do another debridement on your neck and a skin graph. Not sure how your wound was ripped open, but you had extensive damage, and we did all we could to repair it. You have three broken ribs and a concussion, but again, no brain bleeds, which is a miracle at that.”
“Why is my neck stabilized the way it is?”
“We exercised on the side of caution until you woke up. Here, let me check your lower extremities. Do you feel this?” he questioned as he ran a sharp wheel along my foot and up my leg.
I jerked it into movement, and he looked relieved. He repeated the same action on the other leg, and it had the same result.
He said, “That’s great, Nick, as I expected. You are going to be hurting for a while, but with a lot of rest, you will make a complete recovery.”
“With just under two weeks until America chooses the next president of the United States, stay tuned to ABC News for all of your election coverage.”
I watched quietly in a corner of the newsroom floor while Carter did his broadcast. Tonight, he would mention the ironman competition that was held last weekend. A part of me wanted so badly to go down there and support them, but I knew it would bother Carter. I watched the highlight reels on the coverage we would air on the event. Unfortunately, Spinelli wasn’t able to bring home the winning trophy for Ladder Company 4, but he did finish in second place, which was an amazing accomplishment.
“And finally, unsettling news to report from New York. Nick Bartelli, Battalion Chief of Ladder Company 4 was seriously injured outside of his girlfriend’s residence when he was brutally attacked by an unknown assailant. His name may be familiar to you, as a member of his team just competed and represented their house and city in this year’s ironman competition. We wish him all the best as he recovers. That will do it for us here tonight. Please join us tomorrow evening for another edition of ABC Primetime News. I’m Carter Newbanks here in Los Angeles, and I wish you a good night.”
Before I could even process all that I just heard, Carter was pulling me along with him down the long hallway that led to his office. Once I was in, he closed the door behind me and then began to hold me until I was ready to talk.
“Thea, you need to start talking, babe, or I am going to take you home.”
“Carter, I have to call my mother,” I said.
“Of course, use my phone.”
“I need to be alone.”
“Thea, you look as if you are going to fall over. Please, allow me to stay with you, I will not make a sound.”
“Fine!”
I dialed my mother’s phone, and she answered right away. She was so happy that I was calling, and she began to explain all that happened with Nick. After I digested all that I heard, I asked her to pass on my well wishes to Stella and would be in touch with her soon, which shocked her.
I wasn’t sure if my mother expected me to just get on a plane and rush to Nick’s side in his time of need, but I knew I could not do that. He survived more than ten years without me in his life, and as tragic as it was to hear that he had been hurt—now twice—it was not my place to comfort him. He was in love with Karen, and she would give him everything he needed. I tried not to sound like a cold-hearted bitch on the phone while talking with mom, but that was the truth—my truth—and Nick and I both agreed to that.
Carter was trying to appear occupied with things on his desk, but I knew he was dying to know what my mother was telling me. Once I was done with my questions, mom answered them, satisfying me for now. I powered the phone down and then sighed in my hands. Carter remained where he was until I gave him the look he needed to come to me. I wasn’t going to cry right now; those tears would come later when I could be alone with my thoughts.
“Are you okay, love?” he asked as he watched me pour myself a drink from his cabinet.
I downed two fingers of scotch, and my head already began to spin.
I responded, “No, I’m not, but this is not the place to begin this conversation. Will you take me home please?”
He got up, walked over, took me in his arms, and just held me. Carter was home, and the more he whispered close to my ear and stroked my hair, I began to feel better.
“Your place or mine?” he asked.
“If you don’t mind, I would rather go to my place. And if it’s okay, I want to be alone tonight.”
“It’s not okay, but I will respect your wishes, only for tonight. I can’t sleep without you and neither could you without me. We have done this before, Thea, and it never makes us feel better. You can have tonight, but no more than that.”
He kissed me hard on my lips until I let him in, and then his hands found the nape of my neck in what one would call a possessive hold. I said my goodbye to Carter and then made my way into my dark condo, all alone, just as I wanted.
After a hot shower, I phoned my mother again, and we talked for the next two hours about everything and anything. Her voice alone comforted me as it always did. Carter called me only once since he dropped me home, and then several text messages followed. I knew he would be hell on wheels tomorrow from the lack of sex and sleep, but I was happy to stand my ground tonight. With my mother’s parting words, she reminded me to always maintain my individuality as Thea before I committed my life to Thea and Carter. I didn’t know what made her say it, but I was thankful for the advice just the same.
I woke to a strong body beside me and soft kisses on my neck, down to my breasts. My eyes slowly opened to see Carter watching me.
“Good morning. This is a welcomed surprise,” I told him.
“Is it?”
“Yes, of course it is. Why would you say different?”
“After you sent me away last night, I wasn’t so sure.”
“Carter, I explained why I needed the night to myself. I thought you understood.”
“I did, but my rational mind would only allow so much. I didn’t sleep, not at all, but you already knew that would happen. So did you sleep?”
“Probably as much as you did, maybe even less,” I said.
“Did you eat?”
“A little, and then I called my mom, and we talked for a while. Our talk helped. Then I was beginning to tire and said good night. Once I was in bed, I tossed and turned all night, and my mind was all over the place.”
“Do you want to call Nick?”
“No, I know he’s in good hands with Karen and his mom taking care of him. He doesn’t need anything from me.”
“But you want to. Thea, I can see that you do, so why don’t you just admit it?”
“Carter, if I wanted to speak with Nick, I would have called him already. I did a lot of thinking last night and repeatedly came to the same conclusion that was evident all those years ago and today. We share a past and nothing more beyond that. My mom has dozens of photo albums packed in a box, sitting and collecting dust in her garage. Most of them contain pictures of Nick and me and all of our friends. I actually found a few photos I must have packed when I first moved here, and when I looked at them, all I saw were two kids trying to play house. Carter, that’s all it was.”
“Thea, I would be lying if I told you that I wasn’t delighted to hear this, but I also know that I cannot stop you from caring about your friend, because that is what he is. I know I have been insanely jealous when it comes to this man. Last night, I also had time to think about us. I trust what we have, and what we are planning for our future. You do what you need to do in regards to Nick or anyone else from your former life. Whatever you decide, as long as it does not spill over into our relationship, it will be okay with me.”
“Thank you, Carter. You have my word that if I do decide to call him, I will give you the respect by telling you first.”
He didn’t say any
thing more. He didn’t need to. The man that Carter is did not bend so easily. I knew what it cost him to tell me those things. I also knew that no matter what he said, there was a part of him that was scared of losing me. But he never had to worry about that, not ever. Carter was my choice in every area of my life.
He said, “I missed you last night, baby. Join me in the shower?”
“Right behind you.”
Damn, he was so sexy and all mine. I didn’t have to shed any clothing since I was naked already. I walked in to join him and grabbed a loofah sponge from the shelf and lathered it with the body wash he stocked here. I loved the combination of bergamot and lemon on his skin. Carter’s back was to me with his hands placed on the tile wall. He was giving me control to take him, and I loved it.
His back was incredibly strong with hard muscles from his neck down to his waist. Watching Carter move was like an erotic display of sex on his equally muscled legs. I ran my hands once more up and down his back until Carter let out a feral growl. He turned to face me with his back against the wall. He took my mouth in a predatory kiss and slowly pushed me down to my knees, pushing his hard length into my mouth. I wrapped my hand around his hard cock as he pushed deeper inside of my mouth. He was close, so close. His balls began to tighten and harden in my hand. He clutched each side of my head and pulled on my thick hair as he continued to pump deep until I felt the first explosion of hot cum on my tongue. He released his hold on my hair but kept his dick inside of me until he milked the last drop as I continued to swallow him.
I was pulled up from my shoulders, and he took my mouth in another gluttonous kiss. He was a man starved to death for his need for intimacy. He easily lifted me, and my legs wrapped around his waist. He entered me with such a force, I cried out in elation as Carter took me to heightened pleasure I had never known in my life. My eyes closed, and I was transported to yet another orgasm until I no longer had strength in my limbs. He kissed me all over and then washed my hair, then my arms, and down to my legs. Slowly opening me once more, he plunged his tongue inside of my wet folds until I cried out again with yet one more orgasm. This was seventh heaven here with Carter.
He said, “God, I fucking love you so much. I never stop wanting you. I love how I taste in your mouth and on your body. When you come and cry out from the feeling I give to you is pure self-indulgence on my part.”
“Marry me, Carter.”
“I intend to, baby.”
“Good, because I can’t wait to be your wife. I love you so much.”
“I love you more. You have become my beacon for hope, and you are essential for me to breathe. Thea, there is no turning back for me. I need you beyond reason and crave you daily like an addiction.”
Carter had opened himself and was completely exposed with the rawest of emotions on display for only me to witness. After our rigorous workout in the shower and then more in our bed, we were exhausted and well sated. I held him close to my body as we laid in bed together. We had nowhere to be but in each other’s arms, and it was enough.
We slept for three hours and then took a drive up the coast. We each had taken today off, something so rare for us to do, but we needed it and didn’t feel one ounce of guilt about it.
We packed a basket filled with wine, fruit, and cheese and picnicked on the beach. Even feeding me grapes was an art form for Carter. He made the simplest act so sensually erotic.
“I’m full, babe, no more,” I told him.
“Oh really? I would rather fill you with something else, but this beach is not private enough for what I have in mind.”
“How about I take a raincheck on that one? I am deliciously sore from all of our morning activity.”
He smiled and took my mouth in a passionate kiss. His buzzing phone interrupted us. He groaned in frustration after his phone continued to ring.
“Carter, you may have to take it.”
“We are on a day off,” he said as he continued to kiss me. It rang again, and then he pulled away from me and finally answered his phone.
“What!” he shouted into his phone. “Hi. I’m sorry, please go on,” I heard him say as he began to stand and walk away from me.
A shiver of fear ran down my spine, and I knew what he was hearing could not be good. I quickly packed up our basket and folded the blanket. I was done in a flash and still waited for Carter to finish with his call. Once he did, he just stood there for a moment.
“Carter, who was on the phone?” I asked him softly.
“It was Jane,” he said, somberly.
I was now in front of him with my arms around his waist.
“Carter, is it your mother? Please, babe, talk to me,” I implored him.
“She died about an hour ago. Jane had gone into her room, and at first she thought she was sleeping, but after she checked her vitals, she knew she was gone.”
“Oh, Carter, I am so sorry. Let’s go home, pack a bag, and then we can make our way up to Santa Barbara.”
“It’s not necessary. Arrangements have been made already.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means exactly what I just said. I have taken the necessary steps for my mother. Per her request, she will be cremated, and her remains will be encased and sent back to her native home of London, where she will be placed in her family’s crypt.”
“Don’t you want to see her one last time?”
“No, I do not. I already said my goodbyes to my mother a long time ago, and once again when I had taken you to meet her. After Jane had told me the grim news about her declining condition, I knew that would be my last time ever laying eyes on her again. So I held her hands in mine that day and said my final goodbye to Clarissa Renault Newbanks.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It wouldn’t have mattered. I resolved my feelings with this a long time ago, and when I saw how she reacted when she met you, I had never felt more acceptance and at peace. I hadn’t experienced those feelings for a long time, and I knew whatever happened after that, I would be okay. I have you holding me together, and your love would be the guiding light to help me through the loss of my mother.”
I took him in my arms and held him. He didn’t cry this time, nor said anything more. After a few minutes, he kissed me gently and wiped away my tears. I tried to hold them back and to remain strong for Carter, but I was sad for him and knew no other way to express my heartache. He took my hand and grabbed the basket. He tucked me into his car, and we drove in silence all the way home.
I knew without any words between us exactly what Carter needed from me. We both stripped down out of our clothing and climbed into our bed.
He whispered, “I love you, Thea” and then closed his eyes and allowed me to hold him throughout the night.
I knew he was hurting, but if this was what he needed, then I would do everything possible to give him peace.
It would be several days before the doctors would consider discharging me from the hospital, which gave me much needed time to think about what happened. After waking up, Karen tried to talk with me, but I began experiencing dizzy spells in conjunction with my concussion. Every time she broached the subject of my attack, the monitors kept going off, and then my mother got so upset, she practically shoved Karen out of my room.
I wasn’t worried, because Karen was a scrapper and no one, including my mother, was going to keep her from me. My room was filled with flowers and food baskets, one even from Thea. I didn’t even believe she knew about it, but then again our mothers talk, and I found out what happened to me made the national news. My mother was beaming because she had seen the one and only Carter Newbanks reporting, and when she heard him mention my name, she hit the record button on the DVR so she could play it over and over again. Settle down, mom, it wasn’t as if I was a celebrity. I believe it was only reported because the ironman competition was held right before my attack, and Spinelli had come in second place.
Today, I was feeling much better and steadier on my feet wit
h no dizzy spells to report. I hated to be in this bed and could not wait to be discharged, which would hopefully be tomorrow. As I was making my way across the room, Karen was standing in the doorway and looking hopeful that I would want some company. It had been too long since I actually held her in my arms and told her that I loved her, which would change right now.
I extended my arms out to her, and she let out a deep breath and smiled, quickly walking over to me. Once she was here, I placed both of my hands on her face and kissed her madly. She smelled like fresh strawberries. I loved how her hair was soft and silky beneath my touch, kind of like her naked skin when we made love.
“Oh, Nick, thank you for not giving up on me. I love you so much.”
“Hey now, no tears. I believe I have seen enough to last me a lifetime. You are the last one that I want crying over me, so dry them now.”
“I can’t help it. Your attack is my fault. It’s because of me that he is back, and Nick, this is only the beginning of what he may do.”
“Karen, you must listen to me. You can never tell anyone that it was Alex who jumped me. I haven’t even told the police yet, and I suspect McCarthy will be stopping by again this afternoon. So far, my condition has held him off, but now that I am better, I know he will want to question me.”
“Why, Nick? The police can protect you. Once you give your statement, they can arrest him.”
“Assuming they can find him. He could be in Oregon by now or closer to home.”
“Nick, you are scaring me.”
“You should be scared, Karen. Look at what he did to me. Listen, we need to talk, but this is not the place to do so. My mom is in and out of here, and she should return soon.”
“Okay, I understand.”
“Karen, please don’t take what I said to mean that I am rejecting you. We have a lot to talk about, and we will once I am home. Let’s table this for now, and please tell me how you are, and the girls too. I miss them so much.”
“They miss you too. Trinity has colored an entire coloring book for you, and Gigi wrote you a few letters and is painting a picture for you on a real canvas. She’s quite the little artist.”
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