“Is it okay if we use a demon portal? It’s harder to trace us and it means I don’t have to drive in the snow.”
“It’s snowing? It wasn’t when we went out earlier.”
Kaden shrugged. “It’s how the weather works here.”
She wanted to see the snowfall, but it could wait. Nerves flitted through her, this would be the first time her and Kaden would be alone without the risk of Lucius checking in on them or someone else from the territory. She was looking forward to this and hoped the ever-present tension she felt in Kaden would ease some. “A demon portal is fine.”
He smiled and with a strange word and wave of his hand a swirling portal appeared. He held his hand out to her. “Come on.”
She took his hand and he pulled her through the portal. The world shifted and swirled before going dark. Then it reshaped around them and she found herself standing in a bar. Only security lights bathed the large room, a pool table sat in the corner near the front door with enough room for people to play, and it matched the wood walls on the right side. The left sidewall was covered by tiled mirrors with cracks, distorting any images they reflected. Tables dotted the rest of the floor area, a jukebox sat against the wall near the bar, and stools lined the bar itself.
Tegan stepped up and examined the dark oak bar taking up the far wall with a section that would swing out to allow the bartenders to move in and out. Behind the bar was the back door, the fake barrels set up for the beer on tap and a sign that was currently not illuminated. A strange almost abstract hat with lines that formed the ears of a rabbit and a wand hovering above it, made her tilt her head.
It felt so familiar to her. The cursive lettering held the name of her bar “The Disappearing Act.” An overwhelming sense of grief hit her and she wanted to cry, something she couldn’t explain.
“Lucius told me that you spent almost every night running the bar here.” Kaden’s voice was soft and near her, like he was too afraid to let her go far on her own. “You wanted something of your own so bad, and this is what Lucius negotiated for you. He comes and checks in and supervises some of the closings, especially when there are new employees, but it is all yours.”
She ran her hand over the bar and licked her lips, imagining what it was like to be on the other side, serving drinks and helping customers. “I...I kept my sword behind the bar.” Which was ridiculous, because she didn’t know how to use one...did she? Pain laced through her head and she put a hand on it. “Very rarely would people get out of hand.”
“You’re remembering.” Kaden’s voice remained light. “That’s good. Anything else?”
Tegan took a deep breath. “I remember when we bought it. I picked the location specifically because there was a studio apartment above it. In the end I convinced him to let me have it. He gave it to me as a gift, surprising me after saying no for a while.” She closed her eyes and she remembered Lucius guiding her into the apartment, having it all furnished and ready for her. With rules, of course, but it was hers.
“Do you want to see it?” Kaden asked, “I’m sure it holds more of your own things, things that could be attached to memories.”
Despite the pounding pain in her head, she nodded. If this was the only way she could remember things then she wanted to. Kaden led her to the storeroom, a door to the right of the bar with a sign reading employees only. There had been a similar door on the right and she knew that it lead to a small kitchen so they could provide snacks for the patrons who were drinking.
Kaden opened another door that led to a set of stairs going up. She took a deep breath as she went up and came to the door of her apartment. Kaden handed her a key. “I’m right here.” He promised.
She slid the key into the lock and turned it. With a steadying breath she opened the door and walked in. Kaden followed her. The main area had tan colored carpet, to the right was a small tiled kitchen area and to the left was the living area with a closed off bathroom. She walked in and saw the bed made as if waiting for her. The black and red sheets and comforters made her smile, something about the place screamed home. Books were piled around the bed, a TV mounted to the wall so she could lay there and watch, but the thing that caught her attention was the glass display cases lining the walls.
Each held four shelves filled with butterflies. She frowned and walked over to study them. There were so many, but why? Lucius. He’d started giving her butterflies when she kept getting caught sneaking outside during the day to see them. Her brother and Lucius would be furious at her, because it put her in danger while they were in the Circle’s territory. It was for a butterfly trinket she’d went to the market place, because Zaaren told Lucius not to buy it while they had all gone together.
Tears gathered in her eyes as she looked over them all, the date of her rescue from the Father was always marked by Lucius giving her one of these. The anniversary would be...within the next couple days if she remembered right. Just around winter solstice.
“Tegan?” Kaden tried to catch her attention. “What are all these?”
Could she tell him? She couldn’t tear her eyes away from them. “Lucius gives me one every year to mark the date that he saved me from the Father. Like a birthday gift...just a little more depressing.” Of course no one really knew how old she was, she doubted even Zaaren remembered at this point.
“Why butterflies?” Kaden took her hand and led her to the bed so they could sit down. “I just want to get to know you better. Your past is so closed up, it’s rare for you to even speak this much about it.”
For someone who claimed to be her mate, he didn’t know much about her, but she wanted him to know. There was something about him though, something that calmed her, soothed her, not just in the dream world, but the waking one as well. She wanted to be open with him because of that. “When Zaaren and Lucius found us a home that was outside of the village, there was this field that had the milkweed flowers that butterflies tend to feed from. At dawn and dusk they would come out to feed, there would be hundreds of them.”
She smiled at the memory. She’d sit in the warmth of the sun and watch them. “I would sneak out to see them, they fascinated me. One night I was caught sneaking back in. It happened several times after, and I never had my eyes covered. Lucius and Zaaren would always scold me for it, because if a member of the Circle saw me without my eyes covered or caught me without Lucius by my side, I could be punished.”
“Markus used those terms when you were at the marketplace, you went there for a butterfly.”
So he had seen that dream. “Zaaren was treating me like a child, as he often did. He told Lucius not to buy it because he was only encouraging me to sneak out.” She cringed. “The last time I saw my brother he was scolding me about not caring what happened to me or Lucius. For being selfish for wanting such a luxury as basking in the sun and watching insects.”
“So you snuck out to piss him off.”
She laughed. “I snuck out to get the trinket that Lucius would have bought as a gift for me anyways.” She shrugged. “It’s in the past now.” Yet...she felt like she was reliving it.
Kaden wrapped an arm around her. “I know this is hard, but I feel like the key to gaining your memories might be searching in the past.”
She hated the idea, but he was probably right. “I don’t want to revisit the past.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “I can’t go back to that, to what I was, I...I just can’t.”
“The memories can’t hurt you.” Kaden whispered and stroked her hair.
How she wished that was true. She took a deep breath and tried to savor this moment. He smelled like the forest and soap. His body was warm against hers as he ran his fingers through her hair, calming her. He was right, memories couldn’t hurt her. If she could focus on this moment, the way he felt while holding her, the way he calmed her, if she could just stay in this moment everything would be fine. A strange urge overcame her and she tilted her head up and kissed him.
He froze against her, but then his lips parted. They
explored each other’s mouths and his hand smoothed up her back. She loved his touch, this was how they should be. The more they kissed the more calm she felt with him. She wanted this, wanted him. She moved to straddle his lap and threaded her hands through his hair. He broke the kiss and trailed his lips down her jaw and to her neck, giving a gentle nip at her pulse.
Instantly the panic set in and she pushed herself away, falling on the floor and scooting away from him. It took her a few deep breaths to remember he wasn’t a vampire. He wasn’t going to hurt her.
“Kaden...I’m—“
He knelt in front of her, his eyes wide. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pushed. What’s wrong? What did I do to make you panic?”
She pushed her sunglasses on the top of her head and rubbed her eyes. “I don’t like being bitten.” She wasn’t going to elaborate, not right now, not when the panic was under the surface. She cursed and leaned back on her hands. “I’m sorry, I should have warned you.” Of course they probably shouldn’t have been kissing.
“I’ll keep that in mind next time, if there is a next time.” He chuckled.
She cringed. “Don’t tell Lucius, I don’t want him to get upset.” Or send Kaden away. That would break her heart. She frowned at the thought, but stood up.
“I have an idea, I think it might help you.” Kaden jumped to his feet. “Ready to go home?”
She gave him a suspicious look, but nodded. The demon grinned and summoned the portal, pulling her through it with him.
Cael appeared in the room and Aristides looked up. “You have something for me?”
“I tracked my brother down to figure out what he did during his days.”
“And what did you find out?” He pushed himself off the throne and walked over to his mate. She was lovely, with her long blond hair and piercing green eyes. It was a shame they hated each other most of the time. She never forgave him for not coming after her when the king held her prisoner.
She snorted. “There’s a girl involved. One you’ll never guess. He used a demon portal so I followed only what little traces I could get on him, but he was guarding her. That much I could tell.” Cael gave him a coy smile. “You really want the kicker?”
“Enough with playing around, just tell me who this woman is.” He growled. “I don’t have time for games, Markus is breathing down my neck. I’m tempted to just send my demons out there to drag Kaden back, but they defeated the blood demon almost too easily when the fae queen sent that abomination into Lucius’ territory.”
Ceal shrugged. “Lucius and his people are stronger than anyone knows, but there is one weakness for Lucius and Kaden. I believe she already spent time on your table. Tegan.”
“The one Markus kidnapped.” Well, wasn’t that interesting. Kaden was attached to Lucius’ human. He could use this to his advantage, he just needed to figure out how. Playing his cards carefully would earn him points with the Father and Markus, but if Aristides played them wrong he’d end up dead. “You are sure of this?”
“I am. She seems weak for Lucius’ human, but that could be because of your torture. I’ve seen your work before.”
“I had help this time. Markus stepped into the room a few times to work with her.” He chuckled. “She’s something special that one, can’t die. Best specimen I’ve had on my table in a long time.”
Cael rolled her eyes. “Your love for bloodshed goes beyond that of even the king’s. I shall take my leave, I want to check on the troops and make sure no problems were brewing while you had me play detective.”
She had given him the information that he needed, all he had to figure out was how to use it. “Of course, go.” She could keep herself occupied with the troops and stay out of his way. He had no plans to keep Kaden alive. No, the demon needed to die.
As Lucius woke for the night, sitting up in bed, his first thought was something was wrong. He couldn’t sense panic from Tegan, none of the confusion that he’d grown used to since she’d returned from the demons. No, instead he could feel joy from her. Curiosity got the best of him. He dressed and took himself to her location.
He found her out in the front of the property with Kaden. The demon was working with her on defensive stances for fighting and there was a genuine smile on Tegan’ face. Lucius kept to the shadows, watching as Kaden corrected small things in her stance, the angle of Tegan’s wrist and the width of her feet.
“This is coming natural to you, so I think your body remembers some of this.” Kaden praised. “Whoever taught you had to have known what they were doing.”
He was right. Lucius had noticed that many of her mannerisms, actions, and most of her speech were similar to her modern self.
Tegan snorted. “Lucius would never let someone teach me how to fight. I’m too fragile for that.”
The words hit him hard. She still remembered the way he had treated her before Markus took her. The moment he had realized she had been taken because he wasn’t there to protect her, he decided someone would teach her how to defend herself. He’d chosen Coran because her hatred fueled her want to learn.
He stepped out from the shadows and made his presence known. Tegan’s eyes widened, but then she clenched her fists at her side. “I wasn’t doing anything wrong.”
“I know.” Lucius held his hands up. “I was admiring Kaden’s skill. Coran was your original teacher.” He felt her anger instantly and sighed. “Tegan, Coran begged for forgiveness, and it took you time to give it to him, but you two eventually became friends.” Even if he didn’t really like the wolf or trust him a hundred percent.
Tegan raised a brow and for a moment Lucius got a glimpse of Tegan how she’d been before her torture. “It must have taken me many years.” She frowned and her shoulders slumped a little. “I begged him to free me and he helped them.”
He nodded. “I know. I want you to continue to work with Kaden,” he couldn’t believe the next words out of his mouth. “He’s good for you.”
The light in her eyes was worth the words and he smiled.
Kaden cleared his throat. “When it comes to combat that is.”
Lucius nodded. “Yes, when it comes to combat. How did things go at the bar?”
“Well, I saw the butterfly collection and remembered a little bit about the bar, but other than that...” Her eyes slid to Kaden’s then back to Lucius. “Everything was uneventful.”
His human was lying to him, but now was not the time to address why. “Good. Tegan, I want you with me tonight. We have a visitor tonight and I want to—“
“Show me off.” She finished and crossed her arms.
He tried not to growl. “It is a show of power. I’m glad to see that your attitude is returning and I know you hate this part, but it’s needed.”
“I’ll go get ready then.” She shoved by him and headed into the house.
Kaden whistled. “Oh she is so not happy with you.”
“I’ve noticed, now what happened at her apartment?” Lucius turned to the demon.
Kaden shrugged. “She had a panic attack. I think it was a matter of too much going on at once.”
“She had a panic attack at the cemetery as well. I wonder if it’s from trying to gain her memories back or not.” Lucius shook his head then looked at Kaden. “I’d like you to stay around,” he locked his jaw and prepared for the next sentence. “You seem to calm Tegan and I will need that tonight. The person coming tonight is bearing a message from Markus.” The only reason Tegan would have to go was because her presence was expected. She was back and they could not show that her...situation weakened them.
“You know why, Lucius, if you’d just let us be together, then Tegan would always have that sense of calm. It’s something that is needed during a time like this, to help her.”
“The answer is no.” Lucius snapped and turned away. Tegan could not be mated, not to a demon. Not during a war like this.
Tegan took a deep breath when Lucius walked into her room. She could feel the way that he guarded himself,
which meant he was hiding something. Something she wasn’t going to like. “What aren’t you telling me about this meeting?”
He went to the closet and pulled a box from the top shelf. Her body stiffened in a knee jerk reaction that she didn’t understand, not until he took the lid off and revealed the black fabric. Memories flashed in her mind and she pedaled backwards, nearly tripping over her own feet. The panic washed through her when Lucius held it up. “But in this time...the glasses...” Oh God, things hadn’t changed. She fell against the bed and Lucius sighed.
“It’s only for show. As soon as the meeting is over, it will come off. Yes, I use it as punishment when you disobey me, but it is not permanent. It’s not like when we were in the Circle’s territory.”
She tried to believe his words. “It’s a reminder.”
“And that is all. Tegan, you have to trust me.” He took a step towards her and she cringed.
He’d been saying that an awful lot since she’d returned. “I’m trying...but everything is so different.” She stood up and straightened the dress he’d chosen for her tonight. The red fabric would be a stark contrast with the black cloth.
“I know.” He wrapped the cloth around her head and her vision went dark.
Lucius took her hand and some of her panic fled. The Father never would take her hand, she would be blind and dependent on feeling her way around. Never worthy to look at him, never being granted any sight. Again the overwhelming feeling of being pinned to the floor consumed her and she pulled away from Lucius and backed up, tripping over her feet.
Lucius caught her before she hit the floor, but her chest tightened to the point of restricting her breathing.
“It’s okay.” His voice soothed her, almost as if it could physically slide through her and heal the hurt. “I am not him, Tegan. I am your master, your rock, your strength. You are mine to calm, to cherish, to protect.” His power touched her, a warm comforting touch and the panic edged away.
Dark War Chronicles Box Set One Page 52