As the café owner poured Cobb a cup of tea, he said, ‘I haven’t seen you around here before.’
‘No I don’t usually come around here. I’m looking for someone, I’m a private detective. Do you get to see most of the people who come into the market?’
‘Pretty much, sooner or later all the people who live or work around here come in for a cup of tea.’
‘I’m looking for a man with a bad limp.’
‘There are good limps?’ asked the café owner.
‘I mean it is a very heavy limp, hard to miss.’
‘What did he do?’
‘Oh, nothing wrong, he happened to witness an accident and I’m trying to find him so he can testify on behalf of my clients. It would be worth his while, there’s a reward in it for him.’
‘Any money in it for information about him?’ he asked Cobb.
‘Well if you know where he is there’d be a drink in it for you.’
‘Well yeah, I have seen a man with a limp come through here from time to time.’
‘When was the last time?’ asked Cobb.
‘Maybe a few days ago.’
‘Any idea where he went?’
‘You should speak to Lefty,’ replied the café owner. ‘I’ve seen them talking sometimes.’
‘Has he got a limp?’
‘No, he has a hunch-back but he knows someone with a hook.’
‘Well, shouldn’t the one with the hook be called Lefty?’ asked Cobb, puzzled.
‘No, he’s called Ginger, but he knows a man with a wooden leg called Gerald.’
Cobb couldn’t resist it, ‘All right … what’s his other leg called?’
The café owner thought about it. ‘Dunno,’ he finally admitted.
‘Okay, okay, forget that, where can I find Lefty?’
‘He works at the Temple of Our Lady.’
‘Wait a minute, wait a minute’ mused Cobb, ‘Hunch-back, Temple of Our Lady … he’s not the bell-ringer is he?’
‘No, he’s the grave-digger. Why?’
‘Oh no reason,’ replied Cobb, reasoning that the café owner wasn’t the literary type. ‘Are my egg sarnies ready yet?’
***
After finishing his lunch he paid for it with a banknote and left without waiting for his change. An extravagant tip that paid for the information the cafe owner had given him.
He went to the Temple of Our Lady but Lefty wasn’t there. The priest suggested that Cobb came back next day.
Cobb got home later that afternoon and removed his wet overcoat. Then he joined Adele in the drawing room.
‘Hello there sweetheart,’ she welcomed him, ‘how’s your day been?’
‘Grim. It’s a filthy day out there. It hasn’t stopped raining all day and most of it went down my neck.’
‘Well, I did tell you to take an umbrella,’ she said.
Like any man, he was unwilling to admit when he was wrong, so he changed the subject. ‘What’re you up to, Adele? You’ve been on that for days,’ he asked her, as she sat at the dining table, surrounded once again by sheets of paper and several inkwells. He noticed that she also had her Book of Shadows open. She had been working on something for several days now but he just assumed that she was updating the book.
(The Book of Shadows was a reference book that every witch was supposed to possess. In it she recorded her spells and potions, along with any observations she made about the way that different herbs, plants etc. behaved when used medicinally. Or indeed, any other useful information that she could think of.
Apparently each witch was supposed to be given this book by her mother, in this way the knowledge was passed down from mother witch to daughter and thus was preserved through the ages, but that had not happened in Adele’s case. However, a Pils-Holstein witch named Zelda Temola had befriended Adele and she had given Adele her very own Book of Shadows, which was a copy of Zelda’s.)
Adele looked up from the sheet she was writing on, ‘Well, I’m writing a thesis on the use of Silver Nitrate in the early treatment of werewolf attacks. I’ve been wondering how best to announce my discovery to the world, so Thornton suggested that I write a paper and he thinks he might be able to arrange for it to be read at the Royal Society of Science and Magick. I might even get the chance to read it out myself.
‘Think what it will mean to mankind! If it can be used quickly enough there is every possibility that no one need ever be turned into a werewolf again, after being bitten by one. Assuming that there is Silver Nitrate nearby of course, but in areas where there are werewolves, I would imagine that they’ll lay in supplies, once they hear about this. Of course it needs some more study, proper study in a laboratory that is, to get the mix for the vaccine right. What Zelda and I did was make it all up on the spot so the quantities are a bit haphazard, they’ll need to sort that out first. But it’s a start, introducing this paper will lead to the proper research being carried out.’
(Cobb, Adele, Won Lungh and Jim Darby had not long before visited the country of Pils-Holstein in the Alpen Mountains, for a little “off the record” job for the Albion government. ((See Hair of the Dog.)) Although the mission was successful, unfortunately Jim Darby had been bitten by a werewolf. Faced with his imminent transformation in the next few days, Adele and her witch friend Zelda Temola, had rapidly concocted a cure for the affliction composed of Silver Nitrate and various herbs such as Wolfsbane. Against all expectations it had worked. Jim recovered successfully and had recently returned from Pils-Holstein, where he had remained behind to recuperate. Adele’s challenge now was how to spread this information throughout the scientific and medical community.)
‘Do you have to give a speech? Can’t you just post it to them?’ he asked her.
‘No, that’s the way these things work. You have to give a public reading or have an article published in a scientific journal, otherwise it’s not recognised.’
‘Sounds strange to me.’
‘Well, that’s just the world of Academia.’
‘That’s a type of nut, isn’t it?’ he joked.
‘No, that’s Macadamia nuts, you idiot.’
‘Oh, okay. Well anyway, that’s wonderful news! You clever girl,’ he kissed her. ‘So, maybe I should take you out tonight to celebrate.’
‘Well, that’s very thoughtful of you but if this is going to be read out in public before the best scientists and Magicians in Londum, then I’d better make sure it’s right. I need to work on this, I’ve got to get it all down before I forget any of it and then I have to sort it into some kind of order, so it makes sense. Some other time perhaps.’
‘Yeah, sure, no problem.’ He looked around the room, ‘Why can I smell fish?’ he asked her.
‘Because we’re having fish for dinner.’
‘Why are we having fish again? We had it the other day.’
‘It’s because of the old saying, “When the north wind doth blow … then we shall have fish” ’ quoted Adele.
‘You’re making that up, there’s no such saying.’
‘Yes there is, it’s quite popular … oop north.’
Cobb looked at her dubiously and picked up the paper. As he raised it up before him and he could no longer see Adele, she poked her tongue out at him and then broke into a big grin.
***
After they’d finished dinner and Won Lungh had cleared the table, Adele went to the sideboard and got out her Book of Shadows and her writing implements again.
Adele sat at the table and opening the Book of Shadows, took out the scientific paper she was working on, about the werewolf cure. ‘I’m afraid I’m going to be busy with this the rest of the evening,’ she told him.
‘Oh, that’s okay. I’ll go around to Thornton’s see if he’s in.’
‘Sorry,’ she said a little sheepishly.
‘Don’t worry,’ he said with a smile. ‘This is far more important to the world. You should get it done. It won’t be long now will it?’
‘Next week, I think. Ask Thornton if The Roya
l Society have given him a date yet, will you?’
‘Sure thing,’ said Cobb heading for the door.
***
Cobb got home at a reasonable hour but as Adele was still working on her paper he went straight to bed. Sometime later, she packed her stuff away, turned down the gas lamp and followed him up.
She undressed, put on her nightie, and looked at his back, wistfully. He was facing away from her in the bed and she couldn’t tell if he was asleep or just pretending. She felt guilty, as she had been concentrating all her time and effort on the paper and ignoring Cobb. It was a shame as she felt like a cuddle, but she didn’t want to ask him, in case he really was just pretending and would say no. She felt like she was letting him down, always being busy lately and not having enough time for him.
***
When Cobb came down next morning, Adele had already started work again on her paper and she had the Book of Shadows and her handwritten papers spread all over the dining table. Adele wasn’t certain but she thought Cobb looked a bit annoyed by this. He just sat down on the sofa and read the newspaper while they waited for Won Lungh to serve breakfast.
Adele thought she should try and make things up with Cobb, so she put down her pen and joined him on the sofa. She sidled along the sofa and started staring at him. ‘Will you still love me when I’m old and wrinkled,’ she asked, playfully.
Cobb, who was engrossed in the paper and not really paying attention, replied, ‘Of course I do.’
‘What?’ she exclaimed.
‘I’m sorry, I wasn’t …’ and caught himself just in time. He’d nearly made the second big mistake. The first is not listening to a woman when she is talking to you. The second is admitting that you weren’t listening.
‘No, sorry, I didn’t hear what you said… what was the question again?’ he said anxiously.
‘I was wondering if you’ll love me forever,’ she told him.
‘Forever? I don’t know, that’s a long time.’
‘Okay then, will you love me for the rest of my life?’
‘Oh, I can do that, all right. Just let me get my revolver.’
‘Never mind,’ she said with a funny tone to her voice. ‘Go back to your paper.’ She continued staring at him. ‘Why do men over thirty-five have hairy ears?’ she asked him.
Cobb, who had learnt his lesson and was paying attention now answered, ‘It’s because when men get older they are more prone to a particular illness that can only be warded off by having warm ears. Some men who can’t grow ear hairs have to resort to wearing ear wigs.’
‘You’re making that up!’ she stated adamantly.
‘When the north wind doth blow, then we shall have fish!’ he countered.
‘Oh all right then, I’ll let you get away with it this time but …’ her voice tailed off.
Cobb refused to play her games anymore and ignored her until she tugged desperately at his sleeve.
‘What now?’ he asked in exasperation. ‘I’ve just read the same paragraph four times!’ he looked at her but she was staring past him at something that had made her jaw drop.
He followed her line of sight until he saw … a beautiful, blonde woman standing there. The door hadn’t opened and no one had entered the room but there she was, just standing there, looking at them! And the other amazing thing about her was how she was dressed. She wore a white-and-black, diamond-patterned outfit. Shockingly for Cobb’s day and age, she wore trousers! They came down to just below her knees and then she wore white socks all the way down to her shiny, black shoes with buckles on. And at her collar and wrist she wore ruffs. This was all topped off by a triangular hat in the same colours. Except for being white-and-black instead of red-and-black, it was the exact same outfit that Harlequin had worn.
Cobb threw down the paper and jumped to his feet. ‘Who are you?’ he demanded.
‘Please don’t be alarmed, I’m not going to hurt anyone, I’ve just come to ask for your help.’
‘What do you want from us?’ asked Cobb, puzzled, ‘and how did you get in here?’
‘Like this,’ she said and clicking her fingers she disappeared. A few seconds later she re-appeared.
‘I thought I recognised the outfit,’ said Cobb, ‘you’re one of Harlequin’s lot, aren’t you?’
She certainly was stunningly beautiful, Cobb had to admit but then, he reasoned, if you can look like anything you want, then why wouldn’t you look the best you can.
‘Ah, you remember Harlequin, good. Yes, you could say I’m one of his lot, an agent of the Gods … actually I’m his wife, Columbine.’
Cobb remembered Harlequin all right. Cobb had died because of Harlequin!
The previous year, Cobb had been hired to do a job, by a major villain in the Londum underworld, Marcus Quist. Cobb normally wouldn’t have touched the job with a ten-foot barge pole but it had been a missing person case and that missing person had been Adele Curran, Quist’s stepdaughter. He couldn’t help but admit it; he had been attracted to her as soon as he saw her photograph.
Of course there was more to the case than just a missing person. Adele had stolen what she believed to be a very large diamond, The Heart of Infinity, from Quist but it actually contained a piece of the original Dark Matter that had created the Multiverse in The Great Blast, as their scientists called it.
But Quist wasn’t the only person on the trail of this diamond; there were a brotherhood of monks who had been protecting the Heart for millennia. It was stolen from them and they wanted it back. Flitting in and out of this was this strange character named Harlequin who seemed to be able to appear and disappear at will. He had kept popping up and warning Cobb to stay away from Adele, which naturally made him even more eager to find her.
Quist managed to recover the Heart of Infinity from Adele and broke into it to release the Dark Matter, which would give him mastery over all time and space. Cobb’s only chance to save his world was to grab Quist, the Dark Matter and jump to another Universe. Somehow, the Dark Matter made his jumps more powerful than any he had experienced before and, unable to control it, he had gone further and further back in time until he reached the point of Creation, The Great Blast, as scientists from his world called it. At this moment he ignited the Dark Matter causing a second Great Blast that shattered the Universe into countless identical Universes, the Multiverse.
This had killed Cobb and Quist. Adele however, managed to save him and bring him back to his own world, from Limbo. Once he was back, Harlequin explained to him that it was all part of a longstanding plan that he had concocted for Cobb to get involved, take the Dark Matter back to the beginning of Creation and then cause the second Great Blast, regardless of the consequences for Cobb. Oh yes, he remembered Harlequin all right!
Columbine looked Adele coldly up and down, ‘You must be Adele.’
‘Yes I’m Adele, so what?’
Columbine blanked her and turned back to Cobb. ‘I need your help to rescue Harlequin.’
Cobb noticed the cold shoulder for Adele. She must be the jealous type, he thought. When Harlequin had been amongst them, he had might it quite clear that he had taken a shine to Adele, which had disturbed Cobb but Adele had managed to ignore it (to her credit, he thought). He guessed that Harlequin’s wife had found out and was holding it against Adele.
‘Why, what’s happened?’ asked Adele.
Still ignoring her Columbine said to Cobb, ‘You remember that after you died,’ she indicated Adele, ‘she, assisted by Harlequin, went to Limbo and brought you back. Well thanks to her, to help you Harlequin broke one of our most sacred rules about no direct interference in the affairs of Man. And now he is paying the price.’
‘What do you mean?’ Cobb asked her.
‘The Gods were angry with him, so angry that they decided to punish him as an example to the rest of us. They stripped him of all his powers and made him mortal, he is human now. Then they banished him to one of the most awful Universes it is possible to be in. He is there now, living
as a human,’ she almost spat the word, ‘and he has been left there to die.’
‘Whoa, whoa, that’s a bit melodramatic don’t you think?’ said Cobb. ‘Just because he’s human it’s not the end of the world, you know. Billions of us humans manage to survive quite nicely. And as for the Universe he is in … well, dare I suggest that perhaps he is there because he deserves to be punished?’
‘Cobb …’ Adele tried to interject but he ignored her.
‘He came here ruining our lives, all for his own selfish plans, he didn’t care what harm he did. Adele nearly died and I did die. And may I remind you that this world came within inches of being destroyed by Quist, all because of Harlequin’s stupid games. Well, if he’s in trouble now, it serves him right I say.’
‘But you don’t understand. It’s not just that he has been abandoned in this other world, now he has been arrested and imprisoned. I’m sure that he won’t last long. You must save him!’ she insisted’
‘I don’t must do nothing! Er … I mean … I don’t have to do anything,’ he enunciated carefully. ‘If Harlequin has got himself into trouble, then I’m sorry but he must get himself out of it.
‘You’re just being obstinate!’ said Columbine.
‘Obstinate is my middle name!’ retorted Cobb.
‘Really? I thought it was Alexander,’ said Adele.
Cobb and Columbine stared at Adele, open-mouthed.
‘Sorry. Just trying to ease the tension with a bit of levity,’ she said.
Columbine tried one last appeal. ‘But he’s there because of you, mortal!’
‘He’s there because of himself!’
‘Is that your last word?’
‘No, this is … goodbye!’
Columbine looked at Cobb and then Adele and without another word, she faded away.
Adele said, ‘Don’t you think you were a bit -’
‘Nope.’
‘Couldn’t you at least –’
‘Nope.’
Cobb relaxed a little and told her, ‘Because of that idiot I nearly lost you forever and that I can never forgive him for that.’
The Londum Omnibus Volume One (The Londum Series Book 4) Page 49