Chapter Twelve: Something BeautifulI don't want to be aroundwhen it all comes down to watch something beautiful die.
Cauterize- Something Beautiful lyrics
Decklin
'Fuck,', that was all I could think. I was screwed. Royally. I had fallen for the stupid girl. Stupid, idiotic, fucking spastic, hot as hell, pushy stupid woman. And since that happened, I didn't have it in me to kill her stupid parents, let alone kill her. It was time for back up. I couldn't do it, but I did know people who could.
Yes, I would get someone to off her family, and then she would come running to me and I would comfort her. Damn, I sound like a fucking pansy. I wanted to comfort a crying, sobbing, heartbroken girl? How lame was that? I guess I didn't really care, because despite it all, I loved her. Or, as close to the feeling as I would ever get. Damn it all.
I realized how screwed I really was on the way to the city. Everything she did was just so attractive. She was so innocent, yet I felt she knew a lot of the world, even with her minimal experience. She was smart and funny, and so beautiful. I couldn't do it. I could not kill her. I couldn't force myself to end her life. So I had to do the next best thing: get someone else to do it for me after I broke off all ties with her.
I had never been so grateful to get a call from Frances. Although he interrupted my time with Lillian, I knew I needed to meet with him. I had never really enjoyed shopping anyway, though the fact that she was there, trying things on for me to give an opinion about made it all better… Especially when she tried on those mini skirts. I figured she'd be okay, unrecognizable because she'd never been in the city before and she wasn't even enlisted as part of a gang. Just for precaution though, I made her promise to stay on the same street we were on. I didn't want to lose her in the city.
So I made my way to Frances' house in a hurry, I didn't want to leave her alone for too long. When I got there I found him sitting behind his desk puffing on a cigar.
"Decklin, my boy! Where have you been this past month? Your presence has been sorely missed around here," yeah right. I didn't believe it for a minute.
"I've been on a mission of my own Frances," I informed him. "And I've decided, I need your help," I finished. He lowered his eyebrows in confusion.
"What have you been doing Decklin?" His voice had lost all of the insincere joy at seeing me. It was purely business now.
"I found the woman who killed my father," I said and waited for what he had to say. He was silent for a minute as I stared him down.
"And you plan to get revenge," it wasn't a question. He stated it as a fact.
"Yeah, but I need help," I repeated.
"And what do you want me to do?" He asked, leaning back in his chair which squeaked under his weight.
"I want you to send somebody to kill them, the whole family," I told him, finally sitting down in the seat on the opposite side of his desk that he was on.
"And you can't do this why?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. I sat silent, trying to figure out a good reason to tell him. I'm fairly certain that 'I'm most likely in love with the daughter,' wouldn't suffice. But me not saying anything made him draw his own conclusions. I heard his slow deep laughter.
"Oh my, it's pretty funny how history has a way of repeating itself, and this could be good for us son," he said.
"What are you talking about?" I wanted to add 'old man' to the end of that sentence but, even if I didn't follow the rules, nobody disrespected the leader.
"You fell in love, or extreme like with one of them didn't you?" He asked. I didn't answer. "That's what happened with pretty little Delilah. Your father sent her on a mission to kill that pretty boy, and instead fell in love with him. We were all pretty surprised with that. She'd been on hundreds of missions before, and she was only eighteen. Poor old Derek was kicking himself for that one. He was infatuated with her-" he went to continue but I cut him off.
"He loved my mother!" I argued. Frances raised an eyebrow.
"Then why did he never marry her? I know this is hard for you to hear, but your mom was nothing but a toy to him. He had eyes for Delilah since she was about eleven years old, boy. He needed some way to get rid of all that frustration he was feeling. He planned to marry Delilah, make you think she was your real ma and kill off yours. He was only lookin' out for his own. Your dad was not a good man, Decklin," he said seriously. I felt the anger boiling up inside of me. I tried to deny everything he had told me. But when I looked back at my childhood memories it all started to make sense.
My dad never really looked at my mom. He only came to her when I was with her. He mentioned the name Delilah a few times. I never knew who she really was. He was pretty harsh with mom at times too, like he could only tolerate her. But she loved him despite all of that, and I was going to force myself to appreciate him anyway.
"Okay, so maybe I like the girl, but making sure I avenge my parent's deaths is more important than whatever I'm feeling. How could it be good for us anyway? We're enemies."
"No, we're neutral at the moment. With the marriage of one of theirs and one of ours we settled at a kind of truce. We don't touch their guys, they don't touch ours. But if there was another alliance, we could unite. Imagine all the power combined, everyone else would be running for the hills," he said, an excited glint in his eyes. I shook my head.
"No, I need to kill them. I promised my mother."
"Son, your mother's dead, she won't know the difference," he said harshly.
"I'll know Frances. I'll know and I'll kick myself for it. I need to get some sort of revenge."
"Well, I'm not going to help you. It could hurt us too bad. I'm sure they've figured out who you are Decklin, they're probably waiting for your first move. Their defenses are probably up."
"They let me take their daughter to the city, just her and me. I'm pretty sure they don't know who I am. And if you won't help me, I'll find someone else to do it. I have a few guys who owe me favors," I said angrily. "The others stole one of our family. Granted, she chose to go, so she should be punished too. She betrayed us! She should pay, as should her family," I was furious, all other emotions were gone and I was basking in that anger, letting it fuel me. Frances was getting upset too, but not at them.
"Damn it Decklin! What she did was get rid of the lowest scum in our family. He was bringing us to ruin and therefore she should be rewarded, which she has been. That's the end of it. I'm not going to help you I'm not going to kill someone who I gave my allegiance to. I'm not discussing this any more!" He yelled at me. I stood up quickly, making the chair fall over.
"Fuck you Frances. I'm done here. I'm going to kill them and be on my merry way. I'm through with everything, with you, with the family, everything," I told him and started to walk out.
"It's fine Decklin, you're nothing but a waste of space anyway," he said firmly. I slammed the door on my way out, already with one of my guys on the phone.
"Hey Rick, I need a favor."
* * *
Seeing Lillian at gunpoint was one of the scariest things I had ever gone through in my life. My heart was beating in double time and it took me a few seconds to be able to control my fear enough to stop the shaking. I pulled my gun out and stepped behind her. Rodger and his cronies were threatening my Lillian and I was not going to take it.
Maybe it was a little bit extreme to kill him, but he was asking for it, talking all that shit. His other guys ran off and I left the man there. It wasn't unusual to find dead bodies in the city, and we had people in the police force. I was covered. I was worried about Lillian though. She was shaking and shock had her silent. She even let me undress her and put her in the tub. I don't think she even noticed me lighting candles or taking off her clothes.
I was so worried about her that my lust didn't even get the best of me when I saw her completely naked. I left her alone for a few minutes, sitting on the edge of my bed with my head in my hands. I couldn't kill her. I couldn't let anybody else kill her either. I had made a bad move, asking Rick for th
at favor. I decided, last minute to just kill Delilah and Isaiah. I was praying that he wouldn't succeed. This girl meant way too much to me to hurt her. Frances was right… My mother was dead. She wouldn't know if they weren't killed and if I had Lillian, I could live with myself.
I sighed before picking up my phone and calling Rick. I got his voice mail and left him a message calling it off. Just to be on the safe side I called Isaiah who had given me his number around the time that Lillian and I had started dating. I was in awe that he would look at me like a son, and at the moment very grateful. He picked up after the second ring.
"Decklin? Is Lillian alright?" He asked.
"Lil's fine sir," I said in a defeated tone.
"What's wrong, son?" He asked.
"I made a big mistake sir. I'm not who I said I was. I've called to warn you because I can't get a hold of my man. Defend yourselves, or get out of the house. Someone should be there in about four hours to kill you," my voice broke. I had never felt so much emotion. "I thought I could do it, but I can't. I'm sorry," I said. I was on the verge of tears. I heard Isaiah swearing on the other end.
"We're having words when you bring my daughter back. If there's a single hair on her head that's hurt I will kill you myself. Don't bring her home tonight with our company coming. How many are there?" He asked.
"Three. I gave them your address and they'll be there around eleven o clock," I told him. He heaved a sigh.
"Thank you for telling me. I'm probably still going to kick the shit out of you though," he said and hung up. I felt a lot lighter. I knew that they could defend themselves.
* * *
I knew Lillian would still be going through shock so I made her some tea. I wasn't even sure she liked tea, but I hoped she would drink it anyway. I knocked on the bathroom door, and she told me I could come in. The site of her only covered by bubbles was almost more than I could take. I hadn't really ogled her earlier. I had more respect for her than that. She was going through a really hard time at the moment. But I couldn't help taking a look now, even though most of her was covered. I took a deep breath and sat at the edge of the tub, handing her the cup of tea.
"Thank you," she said in a hoarse voice. I felt so bad.
"Lillian, I'm so sorry you had to see that," I said. I didn't know what else to say really. She just nodded and was silent for a moment.
"Did you," she cleared her throat, seeing as her voice wasn't really working for her. "Did you really have to kill him Decklin?" She finally looked up at me, there was a haunted look in her eyes. Guilt slammed into my stomach.
"Yes," I answered immediately. She just didn't understand. "Lillian, I lied to you again. And I'm going to keep lying to you because I can't tell you the truth. So maybe it's best if we just end this now," I said quietly. Tears glassed over her eyes. I couldn't take it. "Oh, don't cry Lillian, you're stronger than that. I'm really not worth it. It'll be dangerous if we stay in this relationship, and I can't do that to you."
"I don't care about danger, Decklin. I truly don't. I've grown up my whole life trying to be protected from it. I just want a chance to prove to people that I can take care of myself. As for the lying, just tell me the truth," she said. I wanted to as much as I didn't want to tell her the truth. It would crush her and make her leave me for sure. But that's what I was trying to do anyway, make her leave me.
"Oh, you can take care of yourself? What the hell would you have done if I hadn't come down that alley earlier Lil? They would have killed you. They wouldn't have thought twice about it. They don't give two shits about who gets hurt, even if the person is innocent. And I hate to break it to you, but the lying isn't going to stop. This whole relationship has been a lie." But I knew her family would tell her the truth. They might even make me stay so I could see the damage I had done to her. I deserved it.
"Deck, I feel like I just got you. I'm not ready to let you go yet," she said softly. I couldn't believe she still wanted to be with me. She had seen me murder somebody and yet she still wanted to be in my life. I knew I would lose her eventually. With all of the lies, it was impossible for her to forgive me. When she found out that I originally had plotted to murder her mother, her whole family, she would up and walk away, not looking behind her.
"When I take you home, I want you to talk to your father. Ask him what he does for a living, make him explain everything to you. You're going to be pulled into everything one way or another anyway. I have a feeling things are about to get exciting, yet dangerous Lillian. Always be on your guard. After you talk to your dad, if you still want to be with me, we'll talk about it."
"What the hell does my dad have to do with anything?" She asked angrily. I'd never seen her so frustrated before. I watched as she set her cup down. Her next move startled me and I found myself in the tub with a very naked Lillian. "What does he have to do with us Decklin? Nothing, not a single thing. This is between me and you," She kissed me hard. I felt it, all of the emotion behind the kiss. I had to respond. I wrapped my fingers in her wet hair while my other hand went to her ass. Her naked skin felt so good against my hand, I squeezed. Lust was building fast, and harder than anything I'd ever felt. It was more than just lust and I knew it. That's why I was feeling everything so strongly. She pulled on my hair and started sucking at my neck. "It's just between us Decklin. I'll talk to him, but it changes nothing with us. I will want to be with you despite whatever he says." I couldn't believe this woman. She was so naïve, so innocent, yet she went for what she wanted and she sparked something in me that I'd never felt before. I was terrified.
"Oh Lil, I wish it was only you and me," I whispered into her hair.
"For tonight, it is. Tomorrow we'll have to go back and we'll have to face the world. But Decklin, tonight it's you and me and I want all of you," she said with conviction in her voice. My body reacted to her words more than her touch. I knew it was wrong, she would hate me come tomorrow, but I needed her tonight. More than that, she needed me. I kissed her before pulling the plug on the tub and getting out of it. I grabbed a towel for her and one for myself.
I stripped out of my clothes, and I could feel her eyes watching me do so. I toweled myself off and went to her, kissing her harshly. She responded with the same vigor. I pushed her up against the wall, grabbing her towel and making it fall to the ground. My hands roamed her body like they'd been dying to do since I saw her walk out of her car on my first day in that small town. She was soft and hard at the same time. She had muscles, but curves. She was perfect. Fucking perfect. I knew if I didn't get her to the bed in that moment, we weren't making it there at all. And since it was her first time I didn't want it to be against a bathroom wall.
I lifted her into my arms, not breaking our kiss. I felt her tiny hands roaming my body and shivered in response. She was hesitant, like she didn't know what was okay to do. I pulled away from her as I laid her on the bed. I looked into her glazed over eyes and smiled softly at her. "Don't be afraid. Just do what you feel is right," I told her quietly. She gave me a hesitant smile and I kissed her again. I laid my body over hers and kissed down her neck and breasts. I kissed every inch of her body. Nothing went untouched by either my hands or my mouth. The sounds she was making were music to my ears.
"Are you sure?" I asked her breathlessly as I worked her with my fingers. She could barely reply, her fingers were digging into my skin in ecstasy and her eyes were shut tight. I was using a ton of self control and I wasn't sure when it would break. "Come on Lily, tell me if you're sure," I said hoarsely.
"Yes Decklin, I'm sure," she breathed out. I kissed her stomach and reached over to grab a condom from the nightstand drawer. I put it on and settled over her, wiping sweaty hair from her face. I kissed her mouth, to her cheek, and then her ear, taking it and sucking on it. She hissed and grabbed me tight.
"I love you," I whispered before entering her quickly. I knew it would hurt her so I kept her occupied with my mouth and hands, hoping she could get over the discomfort. I had never slept with a virgin
before, it was like a high for me. She was so pure and untouched, and damn she was tight.
"Okay, move," she ground out. "It doesn't hurt anymore," she added.
"Wrap your legs around my waist," I told her as I began to move. She did. Oh man I was high, on cloud nine, nothing had ever felt this good. I didn't hold back and was thankful for my stamina. I wanted her to get her pleasure before I did. What I got was something better.
We came at the same time, and through all my pleasure I could still hear the words I longed to hear from her mouth. "Oh, Decklin I love you," she sighed. I relaxed on top of her, just enjoying the nearness. Soon I rolled over, throwing the condom wherever it landed and gathered her into my arms. She was shaking and panting.
"Are you okay?" I asked, kissing her head. She nodded and then looked up at me, amusement in her eyes.
"You called me Lily," and that was all she had to say.
I called her Lily at least five more times that night. It was pure bliss and I for awhile I forgot that I wouldn't have her forever, or even for twenty four more hours. This was bliss.
Chapter Thirteen: Whirlwind of EmotionA simple touch, the look in your eye, the sound of your voice;
They do something to me I've never felt but I don't ever want to leave
.Looks like it's happened to me once again.
Things are over before they started, another goodbye.
Promise Me Lyrics- Cauterize
Lillian
I woke up to many different emotions. First: happiness and contentment. Everything had gone better than I ever imagined for my first time. And Decklin had said he loved me first. I wouldn't have believed it if he hadn't been looking right at me and I could see the sincerity in those words more than in anything else he had ever said to me.
Second: Confusion and suspicion. What were those men talking about yesterday? They had mentioned something about me being an enemy (in so many words) and I was flabbergasted… I'd never had any enemies that I knew of. I'd never even been in the city before! And Decklin, why did he think anything would change between us after I talked to my father? What role did he have in all of this?
Sweet Is Revenge Page 7