by Amelia Grey
“I do,” she answered. “And you won’t be taking me to your bed.” Her breath trembled in her throat, and anticipation filled her.
Did she had the nerve to finish what she really wanted to say?
If she was ever going to, this was the time. She smiled. “I’m going to take you to mine.”
“Ah, Marlena.” He shook his head and cupped each cheek with his hands and kissed her softly, sweetly several times. “You are mixing your words. No matter if it is said my way or yours, it means the same thing. I am trying to be a gentleman. You aren’t making it easy on me.”
“I don’t intend to.”
“I need your help. You are my ward, an innocent. I can’t do this to you.”
She rose on her toes and clasped her hands together at the back of his neck. He remained still and let her kiss his lips, his cheeks, and the warmth of his neck before dropping her arms to her side and resting on her feet again.
Marlena had no doubts, no misgivings. He wanted to be with her as much as she wanted to be with him. She wasn’t asking for forever. She knew because of their pasts that was impossible. But they could have this afternoon. That’s all she was asking for.
“I can do it,” she said. “You’re not taking anything. I am giving.”
Marlena reached out her hand to him. “Third door on the right.”
Time ticked by. He didn’t reach for her though she saw in the dark depths of his eyes he wanted to. More seconds passed. She feared he was going to walk out the door and deny her. Should she chase him as she had her cousins so many years ago and demand he not run away from her? Should she back away and honor his request?
Just as her spirits dropped Rath swooped down and covered her mouth with his in a ravishing kiss that stole her breath. Then, as if she weighed no more than a stone, he bent down, scooped her up in his arms, and headed up the stairs with her.
Within seconds they were in her room with the door closed. He laid her on the bed and covered her body with his. Their desire for each other was too frantic to be slow. With impatient hands and fierce kisses, they quickly stripped off her clothing and then disposed of his as eagerly. Rath stretched his lean, nude body next to hers, and she turned to face him.
“No, wait,” he said huskily. “I want to look at you first.”
Slowly, she rolled to her back. He rose up over her. Rath stared into her eyes for a long moment before touching her face with his fingertips. He gave her a pleasing smile, and then his gaze and his hand drifted down her face to her breasts, her stomach, between her legs before sweeping back up to her face again.
“You’re beautiful,” he said and pulled the two combs out of her hair and settled its length around her shoulders.
“I’m glad you think so.”
She ran her palms over his wide, smooth chest, his broad shoulders, and then moved her hands up and down his muscular back. It was exciting to feel his bare, warm skin. She stared at his rippled midriff, and slim hips, and touched him again.
“You’re strong,” Marlena whispered.
“And you are not an easy lady to say no to, Marlena.”
“I want to keep it that way, Rath,” she said as he captured her lips beneath his.
Rath’s hand traced the line of her shoulder, down her arm to the plane of her hip, and back up again and again. He continued to kiss her, caress her. Marlena relaxed, surrendering her body totally to him so he could show her all he knew about loving a woman. He kissed her tenderly, slowly, while caressing her breasts, her waist, and down her legs. A tremor of expectancy shivered through her. Delightful shivers of pleasure tingled along her spine, down her abdomen to settle and gather in her most womanly part.
“Your touch is always so light and gentle with me. I thought when we were alone like this … you might be rough.”
He looked at her curiously. “Why would you think that?”
“You are a rake. I thought you might be rough or harsh and not gentle.”
“You amaze me, Marlena. You thought I might be rough with you and yet you still wanted me in your bed?”
“I admit I really didn’t know what to expect, but I am very happy with the way you touch me and how you make me feel.”
He kissed her lips softly and whispered, “Rakes might be heartless, but they are not harsh.”
“I’m glad I know the difference now.”
“So am I.”
At his touch, ripples of desire flooded her once more. Pleasure swept over her. He placed one hand on her waist, and with the other, he supported his weight as he fitted himself against her. A soft tremor shook her and she gasped softly when the weight of his body settled on hers.
Rath made love to her with tenderness that overwhelmed her. His movements were slow, sensual, and worshipful. He kissed her, stroked her body, and moved gently on top of her. An inexpressible, eager wanting kept increasing between her legs and caused her to join the rhythm of his hips meeting hers.
Rath continued his tender assault on her senses, gently moving until she whispered his name in unexpected wonder at what she was experiencing. As the extraordinary feelings ebbed, she murmured a blissfully contented sigh and watched Rath release his own passion. Marlena closed her eyes and hugged him to her as she buried her face in his neck, celebrating the feeling of strength and joy in his body.
They lay there side by side in the afternoon light, not moving. She was too filled with the wonder of everything she’d felt to think about the future. What would she do now that she was no longer innocent? She slowly shook her head. Innocent? Was she trying to fool herself? She hadn’t been innocent for a long time. Not since she became Miss Truth.
Rath raised up on his elbow and looked down at her. “Did I just hear you laugh?”
He was so handsome with his dark hair rumpled and his dark eyes staring into hers. “Probably. I was just telling myself that I would think about tomorrow—tomorrow.”
“No,” he said, and with the tips of his fingers under her chin he kissed her sweetly on the lips. “Let’s talk about it today. Right now. I’ll start by telling you I don’t want to be your guardian anymore.”
She swallowed hard. Though his words came as a shock to her, she understood why he’d said them. It wouldn’t be proper for him to continue. “I don’t think you ever wanted to be, did you?”
Rath brushed a strand of tangled hair away from her face. “No.” He smiled softly at her. “I’ve decided I do want to be your husband.”
She flinched. “That’s not humorous, Your Grace.”
“I am never Your Grace when I am in your bed, Marlena. And I might be smiling, but I’m not trying to amuse you. I’m serious. I want to marry you. I came to your bed with you for one reason only. I don’t want you going through the rest of the Season searching for a husband when I know you are the lady I want to marry.”
Marlena couldn’t move, couldn’t take her gaze off his face, but that didn’t keep a stab of pain from piercing her heart. Had he actually said the words she most wanted to hear but could never respond to?
“I didn’t expect silence from you,” he said.
“I didn’t expect a proposal. I can’t marry you,” she said, looking away from him.
He took hold of her chin and gently forced her face toward him again. “All right. I suppose I should have first told you that I love you, Marlena.” He pressed another soft kiss to her lips. “I do. And I’m damned jealous, too. I didn’t want any other gentleman dancing with you, bringing you a glass of champagne, but I had to stand by and watch them do it. I knew the first day I saw you I felt differently about you, but I didn’t want to believe it could be true. I still can’t believe you captured my heart so quickly.”
His affectionate words made her want to bury her face in the warmth of his chest, confess everything and hope, or even beg him to forgive her. But she couldn’t face him knowing what she’d done. She’d never wanted him to know what she’d done.
“Don’t say any more, please,” she said, feeling
as if her chest were about to cave in on her heart. She tried to move, to get off the bed, but he put his arm around her waist and held her so she turned away from him again.
“Look at me, Marlena.”
It was difficult, but she acquiesced. Rath loving her, wanting to marry her, should be the most wonderful feeling in the world. Instead it was heartbreaking.
“I wouldn’t be asking you to be my wife if I didn’t love you and want you with me and not with anyone else. I hesitated downstairs because I didn’t want to take your innocence. Not because I was unsure.”
Marlena felt tears rushing to her eyes. She hoped they wouldn’t collect and spill onto her cheeks. With everything else she was feeling right now, she didn’t want Rath to see her cry. Her cousins had always said, “She could cry, but she couldn’t let anyone see her do it.”
“Stop,” she whispered. “I don’t want to hear any more. I can’t marry you.”
“I know you love me, Marlena.”
“Yes,” she whispered, feeling as though her heart was crumbling in her chest. “I do love you, but there are things about me you don’t know.”
He gave her a crooked smile. “There are things about me you don’t know, too,” he answered. “Things I wouldn’t want you to know.”
“But I couldn’t live day after day with you not knowing the secret I carry between us, and I can’t tell you because it involves other people.”
“You don’t have to,” he said, staring into eyes now pooling with tears. “I already know who Miss Honora Truth is.”
Chapter 22
He could be a rake if he refuses a lady’s apology.
MISS HONORA TRUTH’S WORDS OF WISDOM AND WARNING ABOUT RAKES, SCOUNDRELS, ROGUES, AND LIBERTINES
Silence stretched between them as she stared into his eyes. She was calmer than he expected her to be when he told her he knew who Miss Truth was.
He understood her not immediately agreeing to marry him. It was what he’d expected. As she’d said, she wasn’t the kind of lady who could marry him with a secret between them. Just as he couldn’t. He had to tell her he knew.
“How did you find out?” she softly asked.
“I admit it took me a while, but I finally figured it out the day Mrs. Abernathy saw the mice.”
Her brows formed a frown. “You waited a long time to tell me.”
“I didn’t want you to know that I knew Miss Honora Truth is really Miss Eugenia Everard.”
“Eugenia? No,” she said unequivocally and rose from the bed.
This time he didn’t try to stop her. He watched her. Her long, golden-red hair was a mass of tangled curls swinging over her shoulders and covering her breasts. She was gorgeous and she was his. He wanted her back on the bed beneath him again. Yet he knew she wouldn’t allow that to happen until this issue was settled between them.
Marlena grabbed her chemise from the floor and quickly slipped it over her head. Rath rose and stepped into his trousers.
“You must have known I would find out,” he said. “Or at least thought there was a possibility.”
“Why would you think that?” She found her stays and slipped them on over her shift and turned her back to him. “The column is almost three years old.”
“Griffin, Hawk, and I have been trying to find out who she is since she revived the secret admirer letters. And if I ever find out who the blackguard is that started the rumor at White’s, I’ll see to it he never starts another rumor or anything else.”
Marlena remained quiet with her back to him, struggling to pull the laces on her stays tight enough to tie at her back. It reminded him of the first day at her house when she’d turned away from him and tried in vain to untie the ribbon at her throat. He would never forget how sensual it was to watch her do that.
Rath walked over and took hold of the laces of her stays. She tried to move away from him, but he said, “I took the damned things off you, Marlena, I can put them back on. Hold still.”
Thankfully, she dropped her hands and let him lace her while he continued to talk. “I don’t want you angry with me because I figured out Eugenia is Miss Truth.”
“She’s not,” she said softly.
“You don’t have to worry that I’ll take some revenge against her. I won’t. Though it’s certainly deserving. She’s delicate enough as it is. But you can’t deny it. I saw some of her writings in your drawer that day when you were trying to find a place for the smelling salts. I now know you must have been reading it for Miss Everard before she turned it in, as it wasn’t finished.”
“It’s not Eugenia,” she said again.
“I didn’t realize what it was at first, but then I read it again after Miss Everard fainted outside that day. She had the scandal sheet with her. I thought it sounded familiar, but at the time, I thought it was because Miss Truth keeps writing the same old gossip. But then there were other things as well.”
Rath finished her stays, and picked up her dress. He walked around to face her, and held it out.
Marlena took the dress without meeting his gaze and said, “Thank you, but you’re wrong.”
“Miss Everard had Miss Truth’s books and her scandal sheet.”
“A lot of ladies have them and read them,” she said, slipping her dress over her head and then straightening it over her body. “Even Lady Vera has them.”
Rath buttoned the flap of his trousers. It bothered him that Marlena kept denying what he knew to be true. “Miss Everard is frightened every time she sees me.”
“No.”
“She faints when she sees me,” he said, leaning against the bed and shoving his foot into his boot.
“Not anymore,” Marlena insisted. “She’s fine now. You’ve seen her at her house. She didn’t faint.”
“She and her sister looked as if they were about to bolt out of the house and I’m surprised they didn’t,” he said with irritation at her stubbornness growing. “There is no use in you defending her anymore, Marlena. I know that her sister was one of the young ladies who received a secret admirer letter from the rakes, and she is doing this to get revenge for her sister.”
“It’s not Eugenia.”
Tears pooled in her eyes again. That surprised him. “Then Miss Truth is her sister, Mrs. Portington, or perhaps they are even doing it together.”
“It’s not Eugenia, or Veronica. It’s me. I’m Miss Honora Truth.”
Standing on one foot, he stuffed his other foot into his boot quickly and rose to his full height. What she was doing—trying to protect the sisters—was admirable, and he loved her all the more for trying. “That is not going to work, Marlena. I won’t let you take the blame for either of them.”
“I’m not.” Her voice was calm. “I won’t lie to you. It’s me. It was my idea from the start.”
He picked up his shirt. “You didn’t receive a secret admirer letter. Mrs. Portington did. You would have no reason to dredge it up and write about it. You are covering up for them because you have always tried to help them and you are doing it now.”
“Not this time.” Marlena stepped into her shoes, lifted her shoulders, and said, “I had just turned seventeen when I moved in with Justine. Eugenia needed a friend, and so did I. It didn’t take long to realize how unhappy she and Veronica were. Eugenia told me the story of the secret admirer letters the Rakes of St. James had sent to the young ladies making their debuts. As you said, Veronica was one of them. All were embarrassed and reprimanded by their parents for going to meet a secret admirer. Some had their virtue questioned and at least one, Veronica, made an unhappy match, but nothing ever happened to the rakes. That seemed unfair to me.”
Rath’s hand tightened around his shirt as what she was saying started to make sense. That scared him. “You want me to believe you heard this story and decided to start a scandal sheet.”
“Yes,” she declared. “It’s true and it’s just that simple. Not everything has to be complicated. I wanted to do something to help. I knew very little about scand
al sheets but I knew how to write and compose and knew I could learn fast what I didn’t know. The sheet didn’t sell very well until I wrote about the rumor that was started at White’s, and then the number of sales each week soared. I hadn’t intended to continue with it for as long as I have, but … There’s the truth of it.”
Rath had remained quiet and let her talk, not wanting to believe her, but he did. Marlena had been taught not to be afraid of anything by her cousins. “Damnation,” he whispered aloud. Miss Truth wasn’t the timid Miss Everard or her sister. She was Marlena. The strong, beautiful lady standing before him. The one who had captured his heart with her wit, loyalty, and kindness toward her friends. The one he loved and wanted to marry had set out to punish him and his friends.
Maybe she wasn’t through with him.
A burning heat started in Rath’s chest. He stepped closer to Marlena. “Did you want me to take your innocence today to punish me yet again?”
“What? No.”
Rath threw his shirt to the bed. “Damnation, Marlena, this is too important for us. Don’t lie to me about it. You knew I had vowed never to touch an innocent, yet you knew how desperately I wanted you. I kept saying no, but you held out your hand to me.”
“I did that because I wanted to be with you, too.”
“Did you? I’m wishing I could believe that right now, instead of thinking this was a part of your revenge, too. Were you thinking it would be a good way to force me to marry you, not knowing that I loved you and already wanted to marry you?”
“I don’t know how you could even think that,” she said, her voice rising.
“I have good reason to. Perhaps you even suggested to Mr. Olingworth that he contact me to be your guardian. Is that how far back your deceit goes?”
“How could it?” she asked. “I didn’t even know who you were then.”
“It sounds reasonable to me, Marlena,” he said angrily. “You just admitted you started the scandal sheet as soon as you arrived in London. Why am I not to believe this day was planned, too?”
“Because my feelings for you are pure,” she insisted. “I have not betrayed you concerning my feelings. I would have never written about you if I’d known I’d meet you one day and fall in love with you.”