by D. C. Rowley
I grab a while towel as I’m heading outta the shower and wrap it over my breasts. I haven’t fucked anyone the way I did him. He was fierce, savage, passionate. And it seemed like he’d been waiting to fuck me for quite a while.
I’ve got my design assignment that I need to hand over, so I have to work on that. But how can I, when all I’ll be able to think about is him?
My phone rings and I run to it.
I’m hoping it’s Cason and look excitedly at the screen.
“Hey, Kyle,” I mumble, disappointed.
“Keira, what’s up?” he sounds so excited.
“Not much.” I say. I mean, if only he knew.
“I’ve been thinking a lot lately about that coffee you promised me. How about tomorrow morning? Are you free?”
I run over my agenda which is surprisingly empty. I mean, besides my course assignment I don’t really have much to do, so I don’t lie to him. “Yeah, I think so.”
“So, meet me at the brew down the street? Ten A.M.?”
Did I really just get myself a meeting with my ex who I desperately want to avoid? Great!
‘But—” I try to talk my way out of it, which I know is going to be worthless. He’s just over the moon right now.
“Awesome. See you tomorrow then. Good night.”
“Good…night.” I mumble and look stupidly at the screen.
After he hangs up, I go to my kitchen and prepare a nice cup of iced tea, while opening my computer. I’m just swamped with work, feeling like it’s going to be a long night.
He leans forward and gives me a peck on the cheek as soon as I get there. The brew is smelling of just baked cupcakes and fresh coffees and I’m just loving it. He’s smiling at me and I smile back.
“I feel like we have a lot to catch up on.” Kyle tells me as soon as I’m adjusting myself to my seat.
“Oh, yeah?” I ask, surprised. What would we have to talk about other than the weather and the coffee we’d soon order? Not much, I guess.
I guess the awkwardness between us in up in the air. I don’t know if there’s an ethical code about how one should react around their ex-boyfriend. Looking at his eyes, it only reminds me of how much I used to love him. I thought he was everything and I cared about him. Kyle just didn’t know how to use this to his advantage. He literally threw it all away and screwed everything up. Looking at him, I’m just taking a glimpse at what would have been a perfectly designated future for me. And look where we are now. Everything is just so messed up. And as if everything wasn’t enough, I’ve got a smoking hot boss on the picture, whom I think I’ve got a huge crush on.
“How is your design assignment coming along?” Kyle asks me, after we give our orders to the waitress. I’m having a caramel flavored coffee and lemon cupcakes, while Kyle orders his usual Frappuccino.
“It’s not.” I mumble, remembering all the mess that is my course assignment. “The last work I handed over to my professor was delightfully declined, so now I have to work on my project from scratch. And I’m at a loss for ideas.”
“Why is that?” he frowns. “Can’t think of a single time where you didn’t howl out at every chance you got to display your design ideas.”
“Yeah, well, things have changed.”
“Have they?” he picks up his mug with both hands and looks at me expectantly.
Does he really need to ask that? It’s true that I would celebrate every chance I got at showing my design ideas around before, but things are not the same. Something called life happened. And let’s just say that I’m not the most enthusiastic person you can come across to.
Well, at least, not anymore.
“Okay, I’ve got something I want to show you,” he guffaws excitedly as if he’s been holding himself hardly until he showed me whatever it is that he’s about to spill out. “I know how creative design takes always priority when it comes to you, and that’s why I wanted to show you this.”
He slides a pamphlet toward me and I take a gander.
“What is this?” I ask.
“I think a very bright opportunity for you.” He smiles. “It’s a very well established design company looking for a new executive interior designer.”
“And why are you showing me this?”
“Because I thought after passing your final assignment you might need a proper job at a serious company, the CEO of which I happen to know.”
“How so?”
“It’s a long story. However, the point is, my father inherited this company from a very distant relative and now he’s the one to hold the strings.”
Wow, he looks so happy about it. Well, he should be. He turned from the all over the map American guy into a millionaire in spur of moment. That’s a thing anyone would be happy about, right?
“Well, congratulations.” I augur him.
“Thanks.” He says smugly. “So, how do you feel about a proper job that goes with your talent and skills?”
“Why do you think they’d be interested in someone as young as me? It’s not like I’ve got a great itinerary on my shoulders besides my work for Mrs. Kensington, which I don’t think really counts for that position.”
“You just forgot to mention the fact that my father own the company.”
“And you’re willing to give me the job because of what we had? As much as I’d appreciate it, I think that I’d rather I earned my job.”
“But you deserve it. I believe in your talent. You should too.”
“Kyle, I appreciate it, but—”
He interrupts me before I form a proper sentence. “At least promise me that you’ll think about it. Please?” he’s cupped my hands with his and makes that adorable excusing face that makes me forgive everything he’s done wrong. I shouldn’t let myself get manipulated by that. But yet again I do.
‘Okay,” I shrug.
“Awesome,” he smiles and looks like a kid on the candy store.
I take another look at the pamphlet in front of me and there’s something bizarre that I spot there.
“Wait? It’s saying here that the company is positioned in New York, is that right?”
“Yeah, isn’t that so cool?”
“I mean, yeah. Kudos for it. But I don’t think it’ll work for me.”
“What? Why?”
“Because, I like it here. I don’t want to start over someplace new, when I think I’m doing just fine here.”
“Is that so? Because from what I can tell, you’re doing anything but fine. Don’t you ever wish you had a chance at starting it over, Keira? Look, this is your great opportunity.”
“I don’t know…” I mumble.
“At least, tell me you’ll still consider it.” He persists.
“I mean, yeah, sure. But I can’t promise you anything.” I tell him and take a bite at my lemon cupcake.
On a second thought, it doesn’t seem like a bad idea. A new beginning seems just like the thing that would work for me. Away for this mess. Away from disorderliness. Away from Cason.
I just shake this thought off. I mean, yeah. It sounds like a good idea, but I’m not sure I should really consider moving away and starting everything from scratch.
I look at Kyle again and realize that he looks just adorable. If I wasn’t aware of his deceptive ways, I think that I would tangle again with him and make the same mistakes. That’s how adorable he is. I mean, he could fool any girl, but for some reason he’s fixated with me.
So unfortunate.
I take a huge gulp from my Frappuccino, trying to muffle down every concerning thought that is running through my head.
“You aren’t really considering it, are you?” Maelis looks suspiciously at me.
“I don’t know. The idea of starting over is just so terrifying. Through it is a good offer.”
“I guess. But just the fact that it’s New York makes it a definite no-no. You can’t just leave everything you’ve got here and go away.”
“It’s not like I’ve got so much.”
; “You got me…and a steaming romance about to blossom.”
“Speaking of which, I still haven’t hit you with the shocking details.” I remember everything that happened with him and a trembling vibe runs down my spine. Thinking of him, it’s exciting, horrifying, delighting at once.
“What happened now?” she says playfully.
I cover my face with my hands, hiding the embarrassment of what I’m about to say. Never would I believe I’d say that, but yet here we are. “I screwed Cason.”
“You did what?” she sounds surprised.
“What I just said.” I draw my hands back slowly from my face. “It was something unexpected and I just followed through my instinct.”
“Wow?” she comes near as if she’s about to congratulate me or something. “Kudos, girl. When did it happen?”
“At Dustin’s party.”
“Oh, now that is an image I’d never figure you on. That is fucking terrific, Keira. Savage. Aughhh.” She grabs my hands with hers and howls with excitement.
“I know. It’s just so unlike me.”
“I knew this would happen. It was just a matter of time. So what happened next?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug.
“How so?”
“I ran away.”
“What? Wow,” she keeps getting more shocked any minute. “You’ve officially gone to third level of savage.”
I frown, doubting that there’s really such thing. Though she has a point. I’m just so confused because I still haven’t met him after we fucked. So I’m just agitated to know how he feels about it. To be honest, I want to know how I feel about it.
“So what comes next?”
I shrug. “I’m not sure.”
“Do you like him? I mean, of course you do. He’s just mega hot and super rich.”
“I mean, he’s attractive. Yeah, but it’s not like I know him that good.”
“So get to know him. Go on a date or something. Screw him again and again until you realize what this is.”
Just the way how she puts things in perspective makes me nauseous.
“That just only goes to show that you don’t need that offer Kyle made you. You’ve got a stronger reason to stay here. Your boss.”
I don’t know what to say. I’m not really sure whether Cason is a reason for me strong enough to stay or do the opposite, run a mile. I sit on the chair, knowing that I have a lot of things to think about and I don’t just feel ready for it.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
{Cason}
I’m swamped with work when Keira enters the door. It’s crazy how I’ve managed to keep my mind off of her ever since we screwed. I think that I’m free of my obsession and now I can proceed with my life as it pleases me.
I don’t look at her but keep working at my current worksheets. I haven’t had the time to think about how this moment would be like; I mean, getting to face her after we screwed. But whatever. I don’t think it’s weird at all working with a girl I’ve screwed. Though I gotta admit that with Keira I’ve overruled my modality of keeping work and pleasure apart.
“Good morning to you to.” She mocks me, putting highlight to me ditching her.
This time I move my head upward and take a look. Wow, there’s something different about her, though I can’t really decide what it is. Her hair? Her dress? There’s just something that makes her look worthy of being fucked hard on my office.
But, anyway, I got to stay focused. I can’t allow myself get attached to her vortex of lure again.
“Where’s my coffee?” I tell her. I thought that by now she should have made it a habit coming along with my coffee. I’m so sure that I made it clear to her that she had to do that. But as always, even this time Keira has decided to ride roughshod over my inquiries.
“I thought we were past that now.”
“What do you mean?” I look at her harshly.
“Well, I have been trying to make it clear to you that I’m your interior designer, not you P.A., but you keep forgetting it. And by the way, why don’t you have her dispose of your coffee?”
“Why should I have her do it, when I’ve assigned you to do it?”
“Well, I thought that we came to the point where you respected my job title?”
“And I thought that we came to the point where you stopped being such a pain in the ass and started doing whatever I told you to. And I don’t know where you get this ideas that I’m just respectful of your job position. You’re my employee. You got to do whatever I tell you to. And you better get on with it, ‘cause last time I checked you were almost getting fired.”
Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. But I didn’t fire her. Actually I made up my mind just a day ago, where I texted her to come to work. And I knew she would comply, despite the way I treated her. Why, you might be wondering.
Well, why not?
“But I thought, after I got your text, that you were coming to terms with my respectful job position. You don’t have to treat me like this. Not after we screwed.” She tells me and now I get where all this rage is coming from.
“I don’t want you to get the wrong ideas. Yeah, we screwed. No biggie. One time thing. You don’t have to get some sort of prerogatives over me or something.”
“I’m not asking for prerogatives, Cason. I just want you to respect me. Is this too much?”
“Okay, stop being such a pussy and get to work. I don’t think that you’ll succeed on your job as a designer being such a needy crybaby.”
“And you need to stop being such a jerk and learn how to treat people.” She tells me, and I can see it in her eyes that she’s hurt. Well, okay, she’ll get over it.
Right now I need to think for myself. And I’m just so glad that I’m over her. I’m glad that I don’t feel attached to her on some bizarre way anymore.
For some reason I hate attachments.
And that’s why I treat her like that—for what she’s doing to me, for making me dependable and vulnerable.
I try not to look at her, fearing that my obsession would come back. I’m acting like a fool teenage boy and for a minute forget that I’m a millionaire grown-up man, and that I can keep under control some stupid obsession.
“So is this how it’s going to be from now on?” she asks me.
“I’m not following.”
“We’re going to pretend nothing happened between us and just get on with business?”
“I don’t see what your point is in there.” I tell her. “Yeah, I fucked you at Dustin’s party. So what? I’ve fucked tons of girls. You can’t expect me to change my relationship with them just because I humped them once.”
“I cannot believe that. Why did you lure me into your charm then? I work for you, so this doesn’t sound ethical. Which only led me to believe that there was something here.”
“Well, I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I don’t think that any of the circumstances represented what you think. We were on a pool party, Keira. That’s what people do at a pool party. They fuck strangers.” I stop for a second. “In my case, my employee.”
She looks hesitantly on the same spot across the glass wall for a moment as if she’s contemplating, and then breaks the silence.
“I’m gonna need to process this. I don’t think that I’ll be able to come to terms with this so easily.”
“That’s because you had high expectations, and I don’t see where you got this idea.”
“Yeah,” she mocks. “Silly me.”
Keira stays there for a couple of seconds, while I’m trying to convince myself that I’m just happy we’re back to normal. I’m not obsessed with her anymore. Actually I think it’s the other way around. She’s starting to get a little creepy, thinking that we have something. I still don’t get how she came up with that.
It’s just crazy. And I don’t need any more crazy in my life.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t be here right now.” She looks like there’s something going on in her mind and I wish
I knew whatever it is that she’s thinking about.
“You’re during wok time.”
“Well, it doesn’t seem like it anymore after what we did.”
“So, what are you saying?” I feel like I can’t take her pestering needs anymore. She’s starting to get on my nerves.
“I’m gonna need some time off to process all this.”
“Well, you might use your free time to do that. Right now you have to work.”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t think that it’s up to you.”
“Oh course, it is up to me. You fucking signed that contract, Keira. Now start acting like an adult and take responsibilities.”
“That’s what I’m doing, Cason. I don’t think it is healthy for me being around a guy I just screwed, who treats me like trash. I don’t deserve this. Nobody deserves this.”
“I’ve told you there are going to be consequences when you walk out that door.” I threaten.
“I just don’t mind anymore. Go ahead, do whatever you’ve got to do. But just so you know, I just can’t figure what kind of satisfaction you might get treating people like this.”
She tells me and heads outdoors. And I let her go like the jerk I am.
I don’t like how she treats me. She thinks that I’m rude and bad-mannered. Well, guess what? She’s the one who makes me feel all that. I feel like a bounderish jerk, because of what she does to me. I didn’t tell her to get obsessed with me.
I didn’t tell myself to get obsessed with her. And here I am. Feeling miserable form the vulnerability.
But I know just the solution to that. I press the intercom and have my P.A. come in. I’m gonna break the ethical code if necessary. What I know right now is that I’ve got to fuck someone. It’s just the way how I’m gonna get over her.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
{Keira}
I try to arrange what’s left undestroyed in my dignity, and buy the usual skinny latte for my boss. I’ve been going through latent conversations over and over in my head and none of them seemed to result in a happy ending for me. I don’t know what’s gonna happen to me or to my career after this, but one thing I know for sure: I have to do this. I have to do this for me. I have to do this for my psychological wellbeing. I have to do this for my dignity. Or what’s left of it, anyway.