by D. C. Rowley
No, not this time when my life is railing on the right track. But, why would Kyle want to make this all up?
Ugh, I don’t want to believe this. I need to calm myself down.
“I’ll catch up with you, Kyle,” I tell him as we’re heading out.
“Please, take care.” He tells me and gives me a peck on the cheek.
This is just so hurtful. That vacuous, disturbing feeling takes place again, and I feel like I don’t belong here. And there’s nothing more painful than feeling unadjusted.
It seems like the world does not have anything more to offer, and you feel left out, and nothing seems to be fulfilling.
Why did he have to do this to me? Come to think of it, I don’t really know whether what Kyle said was true. So maybe I should postpone my range for when I know the truth.
He looks like a disaster. I’ve never seen him like this. His hear is fuzzy and his tie is loosened up. His shirt looks torn off, and there’s furiousness on his eyes.
“Cason, what happened?” I approach, concerned and my hand goes to his face. I want his eyes to be into me not into the view outside the glass.
“You tell me.” He’s angry. And I don’t even know what I did. I mean, it should be the other way around. I should be mad at him. But for some reason, he’s decided to fog my anger up by sparkling his own contempt.
“What did I do?” I ask, confused.
“What did you do, Keira? You really have to ask that?”
“Cason, I—I’m worried.”
“Why didn’t you tell this to me? Why didn’t you tell me that you did him?”
I’m a little startled by his words at first, but then it hits me. He must know. Dustin should’ve told him.
Oh, God!
“How could you do this to me, Keira? He was my best friend. And now I don’t know if he will ever want to talk to be again.”
“But, Cason…”
“I don’t think there’s excuse for what you’ve done.” He interrupts me. “This was beyond any expectation.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”
“Just, leave me alone.” He tells me, and I start to puzzle this all out on my head.
“No, Cason.” I contest. “You don’t get to tell me to leave. Not until I’ve explained myself.” I catch my breath, gathering my thoughts and warming up. “You took everything from me, shattered my world and made me take off to another city, and then you took that too from me.” His eyes go from annoyed to confused. He wasn’t aware that I knew. “I was crumbling and desperate. And Dustin was there to comfort me. And I know this doesn’t change anything, but I was drunk. And if I had the chance to do things differently, I would.”
“How do you know about New York?” he asks, his voice is lowered a wee.
“Oh, I know, Cason, I know everything. I know how you hired a P.I. to know everything about me. You wanted to track my every step, didn’t you? So that you could take from me beforehand whatever I was planning? But I get to be angry too Cason. Because somehow you ruined my life and yet here you are, finding a way to turn this on me. I didn’t know you felt this way about me. I was drunk and desperate.”
“Keira,” his voice is so calm and low. I look at him, hoping he’d be comprehensive. “Get the fuck out of my life. Everything was better off before you made an appearance. I don’t want to have to do anything with you anymore.”
I try not to cry, but I can’t help it. My eyes crystallize, but I still don’t shed a tear. I don’t want him to see me like that. Destroyed, and vulnerable…because of him.
I go ahead and move out. And I can’t believe this is happening to me…again.
Mailes smells like hazelnuts flavored shampoo, as she’s lying against my arm, resting on the couch, trying to soothe me. I’ve been crying for hours and can’t get myself together.
“And it’s funny, ‘cause everything started to seem so perfect. And I’m like ‘I’ve never been happier before, my life is more beautiful than ever’. Sure it’s been nice before. But nothing like this. This was amazing. And I was saying to myself. ‘Is this eve real? Nothing this amazing can ever happen to me’. And I was right.” My voice is muffled and cracked up very often.
“Oh, sweetie. He was such a jerk to you. It’s not that you weren’t good enough for him. Baby, he’s not worthy of you. No man should ever treat a woman like that.”
“But he was beautiful.” I make this silly excuse because I still cannot accept it to myself that he’s important to me, that I care about him way more than I should. “And I think I was starting to fall for him.”
She gets off of my arm, and looks at me, startled. “Keira?” she says. “You never mentioned this to me.”
“I was just starting to realize it. And I was about to tell him the day that he told me he never wanted to see me again.”
“Ooh,” she sighs hardly. It seems like she’s experiencing this harder than me. “This is so messed up.”
“Indeed.”
We stay quiet for a while, until she detects something and grabs it off of the table. “What is this?” she asks, looking at some card on the table.
“Kyle gave it to me. He knew I’d be upset and all, and wanted to have a little time out, away from all of this. Some sort of vacation, he called it.”
“Well, I think you should take it.”
“You do?”
“Sure, by far this is the best thing that messed up man has done to you. You deserve some time off. This environment here is just not healthy.”
I realize that she’s right. Maybe I should take up on his offer. Life has been just crazy lately. And I need to stay away from this craziness for a while; gather my thoughts, and freshen up.
Yeah. It’s funny how life seems to have taken up a little bit of a detour. But right now, I’m just incapable to fix it. And I can’t think clear too.
And if I force myself to do the opposite, then Maelis is right. This is just not healthy.
Maybe I should take off with Kyle someplace away from here.
Maybe I should never come back, for that matter.
God, just thinking about this, makes me feel so helpless. And what do we do when we feel like there’s not help anymore?
We escape.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
{Cason}
What I hate the most is the crappy music on this bar. I’m sitting on the counter and drinking alone. I’ve been rude to every girl who either came up to me, or was hitting on me. I’m not in the mood for other girls. Screw them! The only girl that I care about upset me. And I don’t think that we’ll be able to recover from that.
I order another vodka, when Remember I Told You fills the room.
“I don’t want to be rude or anything, but can you turn the fucking music down.” I tell to the bartender.
He looks at me (I’m drunk as fuck) and says. “Sorry, sir. It’s not up to me.”
“Well, I’m saying the music is bothering me, so make this your fucking issue and take care of it!” I yell at him. Of course, he’s got nothing to do with my issues. But I just need to take it out on someone, don’t I?
When I take my next drink in one gulp and order another, he says to me. “I’m sorry sir, but I don’t think I should give you more.”
“Does your job description implies telling customers what they need to do? Keep your shitty comments to yourself. You’re a fucking bartender. So do what you’re supposed to do and give me my drink.”
“With all due respect, but I can’t do that. And I’d suggest you take off, or I’m gonna need to call security.”
“What are you? A fucking pussy? Calling security? That’s ridiculous.”
I’m mumbling indistinctively when I feel the hands of two men grabbing me by my arms and forcing me to get up.
He called the fucking securities.
I try to fight them, but I’m dunk, so I don’t think it comes upon as I expected.
I’m out of the bar, and I can’t drive. I don’t know who I should c
all. There are plenty of names on my phone that would just piss me off.
I’ve changed. Somehow I don’t enjoy the company of random girls anymore. Keira did this to me, made me fall for her and then left me miserable.
And I can’t call Dustin obviously, since he’s still in the hospital, because of what I did to him in my office. I haven’t seen him ever since.
I want to. I miss him. But just like what I did to Keira, I made him hate me too.
I’ve been giving it a lot of thinking lately, and I’ve come to determine that what I did was stupid. I just ruined everything. I just took up with my enraged impulse and made all the people that I care about go away from me.
But I feel like this is irrecoverable.
Like what can I say? Dustin, my dear friend, I’m sorry that I ruined your face and that I beat the crap out of you. I’m sorry, please forgive me. But this scenario seems more impossible when it comes to Keira. I visualize how this conversation would be like. Oh, Keira. My love, I was such a jerk, made you feel worthless, like crap. Denigrated you in ways that are just unforgivable. But, hey, give me another chance, because, why not?
Yeah, this is just futile. And I brought this to myself.
I call Cody and wait from him to pick me up.
I’m so drunk, I think at some point, I’ll start to take a nap on the street.
“You’ve got to think about your reputation man,” Cody tells me, as I rub my eyes with my palm. I’m not sure of how many hours I’ve been sleeping.
“Fuck my reputation, my life is ruined.”
He’s encumbered into his laptop, and I don’t know why he has to be so workaholic all the time. I don’t remember what happened after the bar, but I guess that he must’ve helped me home and stayed here to make sure I was okay.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“I’m checking all the tabloids. Do you remember anything about last night?”
“Ughh,” I groan. “Not sure.”
“I found you lying on the streets man. Sleeping like a homeless guy. Like that would be like gold for the paparazzi. And it would damage your image considerably.”
“That’s messed up.” I say, and eventually try to remember what drove me into this condition. Oh, yeah. Keira.
“May I ask,” he proceeds. “I’ve worked for you for quite a while now. Never saw you in this condition. What happened?”
“I screwed over everything that I had.”
“So, try to fix it.”
“I’m not sure whether there’s coming back from here.”
“There’s recovering from just about everything in the world. You just have to put your mind to it. Make it right.”
“You don’t understand. I probably fucked up the face of my friend, and he’s going to need lots and lots of plastic surgery to recover from that. And what’s more, I don’t think that he really deserved it. I did it out of rage. I was mad at him for doing something he didn’t know was wrong.”
“Mhmm, this is really fucked up, man. But you won’t fix it by staying here and thinking of how bad a behavior this was. You have to own up to it. And probably do what we are so afraid to do sometimes, apologize.”
I think about what he’s saying for a moment. I stay there immovably for a couple moments, sitting at the edge on my bed, blanket lying on my things, and come to determine that he’s right. I should make this right. And I should do this right now.
“Cody,” I try to grab his attention from his laptop. He moves his head asquint and looks at me.
“Hmm?” he says.
“Thanks. I think you’re right.”
A huge smile takes place on his face.
“And that’s why you’re fired.” I tell him and look at how shocked he must look like.
His face goes from excited to terrified. “Why is that?”
“For the sake of recovering. I don’t think I need to keep the life of the people I love under wraps.”
There’s a smile on his face, as he’s coming to eventually figure my reasons. “Well, the day would come anyway.” He tells me.
“Come on,” I mock, trying not to let the situation look so dramatic. “I got a friend from all this. And you can come up to me whenever you need something.”
“Well, thanks man.” He smiles.
I get up from my bed and realize that it’s about time that I make this right. I should organize the mess I made. Effective immediately.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
{Keira}
Sunshine sweeps through the glass and lays on my face as I squint. I prepared a road-trip playlist and All Night is blasting through the car.
“Where is this place you’re taking me, again?” I ask Kyle, who has managed to keep the location a secrecy despite my many attempts to make him confess.
“It’s a surprise. How many times do I have to tell you?”
“Well, I don’t like surprises.” I sigh, and push back on my seat, setting my black sunglasses on.
“You’re gonna like this one.”
“Why are you so sure?” I raise an eyebrow and look at him.
He turns his head my way, both hands on the steering wheel, and smiles, “Because I know so.”
I realize that it’s gonna be worthless to try and get him to tell me. He’s just so stubborn not to reveal anything. And I can’t contain myself. I want to know.
“Anyway,” I proceed and look ahead. “Whatever it is, I’m gonna need it. I needed some time out.”
“Aww, you’re welcome, babe.” He tells me, and I frown, but he cannot notice because of the shades. I’m not his babe or anything, and coming into this, I don’t want to give him the wrong idea.
I notice that he’s rubbing his temples with his fist every so often, and I don’t know why.
“What is wrong?” I ask. “Do you have a headache or something?”
“Um, no. Look there must be some pills on my backpack. Care to pick it up for me?”
“Sure.” I say and reach to grab his backpack from the backseat. I unzip it and scramble for what he asked for.
“Here,” I say, removing the lid for him, while he takes it on one hand. He throws it on the other hand of his, and takes way too many pills on his mouth. His right hand is controlling the steering wheel all along, while he reaches his left one and grabs the bottle of water off of my hands.
“What are these pills?” I frown. “And why the heck did you put so many on your mouth.”
“They’re just tranquilizers.” He explains, but doesn’t look so tranquilized.
I’m starting to get worried. He’s sweating. Yeah I mean it’s very hot outside, but not as much as to make him look as if he’s come out of the shower.
“Kyle, are you okay?” I ask again.
“Yeah, Keira! Why wouldn’t I be?” he tells me in the most enraged of ways.
“Why are you yelling to me?”
“I am not yelling!!!” he’s still yelling!
I’m starting to get worried. He does not look okay. And I’ve never seen him treat me like this.
“I’m hungry,” I tell him.
“There’s a little something on my backpack.”
I rummage through his stuff and there’s a little strawberry muffin in there. He hates strawberries, or muffins. On the other hand I love them. But why would he be keeping that in there, since I didn’t ask for it anyway?
“What is this place?” I ask when he pulls over. There’s a big mansion in front of us. We’re on a quiet neighborhood that I don’t recognize.
“You’ll see for yourself.” He smiles and gets out of the car.
I follow him. Wow, this place is amazing. So quiet and beautiful.
“Kyle, what is this?” I feel like it’s about time that I know what he’s up to.
“It’s our house, babe. I bought it for us.”
“Ours? Why would we need a house together?”
I’m looking at the house, and I’m confused. Meanwhile he’s taking something out of his car. I turn back to l
ook at him and frown. He’s holding a mallet on his hands.
“I’m sorry,” he says, and next thing I know, I’m lying blurred and unconscious on the floor. He hit me with the mallet.
My head hurts. I open my eyes slowly and wrinkle, as I’m adjusted to the lights. I try to take a look around. It’s a room. A big, spacious room will orange and violet walls. There’s a big glassy door on the end which leads to a beautiful garden filled with plants and flowers.
And then I look on the floor.
I’m surrounded by candles everywhere. It’s so creepy. There are candles near the bed, where I’m standing. The floor is crammed with candles.
Nobody could buy these many candles on one day. It seems like this has been planned out for weeks; months probably.
I try to draw my arms close but they’re tightened. I’m all tied up at the edges of the bed, and cannot move my arm and legs. My mouth is stuffed with some piece of clothing. Next to the pillow nearby my hand, lies my phone.
I try to scream, horrified by all this, but the thing on my mouth doesn’t let me.
It doesn’t take long, when Kyle appears by that door. He’s wearing only he’s underwear, and looks like he’s been catching rays outside. This is crazy.
I let out a muffled scream.
“Oh, hey, babe.” He smiles.
I look at him crept out.
“Sorry for the added accessories. I wasn’t sure whether you were gonna behave yourself.” He comes close and I look terrified.
What is he going to do to me? I try to scream, but I fail again.
He takes the piece of clothing out of my mouth. Now I scream freely.
“I wouldn’t suggest you to waste your energies. Nobody would hear you.” he says calmly.
“Kyle, what are you doing? What the fuck is this?” I yell.
“Oh, something I like to call, dreams.” He makes further steps around the bed. “You see, Keira, I had such high hopes for us. I dreamed for our future. And that’s why I bought you this house. I imagined our kids running on the garden, and you lying at the chaise lounge near the porch. And what did I get for all this? Disrespect.” His voice is so calm, but the next second he goes cray-cray and screams. “You ruined this beautiful dream!”