by Lainy Lane
“Yes, Cal, the innocence of a child. The ability to know the truth, to believe what is real not because of probability or logic, but because you just know,” Jarreth explains.
“So, like faith?” Calandra asks.
“I guess you could say that. However, faith isn’t exactly something that is believed very widely here in Faerie.”
Calandra stares blankly at Jarreth with the question written plain as day on her face.
“We tend to think that hope and faith are things humans invented to feel better about themselves. Kind of a way to make bad situations seem better because they think that something larger—more powerful and more capable—is in control and can make everything better. The way I see it, the only one who can control anything about your life is you. You’re in control of what you become and what you do. The only thing that can make anything any better are your choices and how you decide to handle the situations that you are dealt.”
Calandra takes a deep breath and looks down at the dragonfly on her shoulder with a slight frown.
“What is it?” Jarreth asks.
“I kinda thought this was a symbol of hope,” she says without taking her eyes off of the mark.
“Not hope, Cal, support. That is the mark of destiny, and it is a reminder that you have people behind you to help you achieve it. The field is also a reminder, Calandra, a place you can come and know again what is right and wrong. A place to clear your thoughts and figure things out when nothing out there,” Jarreth points away from the field as he speaks, “makes any sense and you can’t tell what’s up or down anymore. And trust me, if today wasn’t enough of a sign, that is going to happen.”
Calandra stares at him as she tries to take it all in; the way things have changed in just a few short days. Something should fill her—doubts, fear, nerves—but as she sits here and stares at Jarreth she feels none of those things. His eyes somehow manage to take it all away and bring her back to a state of serenity. The world, crazy as it is at the moment, disappears and feels just right.
“So, I take it if you don’t believe in faith and hope, there’s not exactly any kind of a deity here either?” Calandra doesn’t quite understand why that is the first thought that crosses her mind at the moment, but it is out of her mouth before she can stop it.
Jarreth chuckles. “No, dear, faeries tend to believe in nothing but power. Magic and temptation is our controller. Trust me, if there were some kind of a deity out there, I highly doubt they would take kindly to our kind anyway. We aren’t exactly the most redeemable creatures, so to speak.”
“I don’t believe that.” Calandra’s hand rests on the soft grass slightly out to her side and she leans into it to support herself. She absorbs every word he says like a sponge, lingers on his every statement. She links them all together and tries to build a picture of what this world is like. The small piece that she has seen was a little more than troublesome in her state of mind at the time. Not to mention that she was only slightly intimidated by the fact that every single person was staring at her, or technically at her mark.
“What exactly don’t you believe?”
“That you aren’t redeemable. Everyone is supposed to be, right? I mean, if God made the world and everything in it, then surely he’d provide a way for everything to be redeemed, right?” Calandra isn’t exactly the right person to be discussing the technicalities of something such as religion as she is filled with a million questions of her own regarding it. “So …” She begins a game of twenty questions in an effort to change the subject since she feels incapable of discussing the subject at hand, despite being the one that got them on the subject in the first place. “I take it from the stares I got on the way to your house everyone here knows what this means.” Calandra noses her face toward the dragonfly to indicate what she is referring to. It feels like a childish move to make, but she isn’t sure what word to use to refer to it exactly.
“Your mark?” Jarreth seems to know all of her questions before she voices them. “There is only one thing it could mean, Cal, and yes, that is why everyone was staring. There will be quite a stir over the next while about you.” His smile beams into her and leaves her feeling suddenly exposed.
“Oh,” she replies simply.
“That wasn’t meant as an insult you know.” Jarreth places his hand over hers. Heat spreads throughout her body and is followed by a cold tingling sensation. It relaxes her and eases up the tension that has been building in her head all day. She relishes in the feeling and lets it wash over her. “Calandra, there is a bit more that you must understand about what lies ahead for you here.” His eyes flash a soft shade of midnight blue before they return to their normal shade of baby blue.
Calandra tries to ready herself for whatever is to come. “Do I want to hear or understand it?” she asks. “I am in a bit of an overload as it is.”
“I know my dear, but you must hear it and truly understand it as so many rely on you now.” He leans his hand into hers and sends the surge of electricity and fire and ice back through her once more. His eyes look sad and Calandra’s nerves build inside her like a brick wall despite the sensation that pools in her skin from Jarreth’s touch.
Calandra takes in a cleansing breath and closes her eyes momentarily. “Fine, go for it,” she sighs.
“Faeries are born out of imagination. People dreamt us up long ago. That’s one of the reasons there are so many different types. Now there are many more types due to all of the mixing of blood that’s been done over the years. But that’s where evil comes from as well, it is created.” Lifting his hand from hers, Jarreth places it on her shoulder and rests it on her mark. “The mind is a much more powerful thing than humans could ever comprehend. Much too powerful for anyone to be trusted with. And it’s even worse when they don’t know the capabilities of it. Nevertheless, you, Calandra, must not only understand that but learn to control it as well. The power of your mind combined with the limited Fae powers and emotions you were given could make or break the entire universe. You have the power to destroy both of our worlds without even meaning to.” He stares into her eyes once more as he finishes his explanation.
The weight of the world, of two worlds, rests on her shoulders. She painfully pulls her gaze from Jarreth’s and focuses on the tree. She wonders to herself what it was that made the tree bend and tilt the way that it does. What burden was placed on it? More importantly, how did it manage to hold the weight enough to still grow tall and strong, albeit just a little crooked? She wonders where that strength comes from and how she can get some of it for herself. The breeze picks up again and wraps around her body; it caresses her skin with a soft, gentle whisper. Her hair picks up and dances in the wind, her skin tingles with a knowing sensation. Jarreth stares at her with the same sense of amazement as he did when he first saw her in the field earlier.
At that moment, she comes to the conclusion that whatever it is she must face, she can somehow manage it. No one knows their future or how to handle the situations that they are faced with, why should she be any different? Just because she now knows she has a big destiny in front of her? She is still the only one in control of how she deals with her life. The breeze leaves as quickly as it came and a chill rushes over her in its absence.
“That, my dear, is nature telling you that you can indeed handle it.” Jarreth smiles knowingly.
Calandra smiles, and for once, it reaches her eyes. For once, she feels like she knows where she belongs and what she is meant for. Her heart seems to dance inside of her at the final sense of knowing she’s right where she needs to be. She leans into Jarreth’s hand and let’s all of the emotions wrap tightly around her as she closes her eyes. Calandra sighs and lies in the soft grass beneath her. She lets the sun wash over her skin as she closes her eyes and finally relaxes.
“One more thing,” Jarreth says, breaking her from the silence.
Calandra opens her eyes and gazes at him skeptically. “Do I even want to know?” she groans.
&nb
sp; “Actually, this one I believe you do.” He smiles. “I have a little something to show you.” Standing up in one quick and fluid moment, he reaches his hand out for her. “Come,” he says simply, and without any further questions, Calandra obliges.
Chapter Eleven
Gifted
As they walk through the woods, Calandra is starting to wonder what she should expect. She feels as if they’ve been walking forever and the woods seem to be growing denser the further they go in. “Where are we going exactly?” Calandra finally asks, unable to keep quiet any longer.
“You’ll see.” He smiles.
“Jarreth!” she whines.
Chuckling, Jarreth shakes his head. “Sorry, but that’s not gonna work.”
Calandra sticks her bottom lip out as far as she can, but Jarreth only looks at her for a moment before he turns back to the path ahead of them. “What about a hint?” she whispers.
Jarreth’s smile widens and he leans in to her ear. “No need, we’re here,” he whispers and stops walking.
Calandra looks around, and is suddenly more confused than ever. The woods are still dense around them. There are lilies surrounding three of the trees just in front of where they are standing, and ivy runs down them. The ivy creates a wall between all of the trees. “So … it’s a tree?” Calandra spaces the words out.
Jarreth chuckles. “Technically speaking, yes.” He steps in between two of the trees in front of them and brushes the ivy to the side. He holds his hand out, inviting her to step in between the trees. Calandra looks at him skeptically. “Have I ever led you astray?” he asks.
“I’m not sure I can answer that just yet.” She arches an eyebrow at him. After taking a moment to think, she sighs and accepts that even if he had, she would probably still do anything he asked her to do, so it’s really a moot point.
To say she was breathless would be an understatement. There is a clearing through the trees that Jarreth sends her through. One tree stands in the middle of the clearing and it reminds her of the large tree in the field of innocence. The trunk of this tree is larger than any she’s ever seen before. The tree itself is much larger than she imagined possible as well. The top of the tree is so dense you can’t see through any of the leaves to see its branches. It is a beautiful sight of nature.
“The leaves never fall off.” Jarreth is right behind her, which startles her slightly. “They turn colors in the fall, but they will never fall off.”
“Why?”
“To hide what’s behind them,” he explains.
Puzzled, she looks at him. Jarreth points to the base of the tree trunk and Calandra suddenly notices something that she hadn’t before. “Is that—” She walks over to the tree trunk and places a hand on it. “A door?” She traces the space that separates the door from the rest of the trunk.
“It was your mother’s.”
“My mother’s? She lived here?” Calandra places her hand over the stub in the tree that is the doorknob, but she doesn’t open it. Her brain suddenly seems to have quit telling her body how to move.
“Not for long, but yes. She lived here for a time. She didn’t want to live anywhere in town. She had a special affinity for nature, so naturally, this is where she wanted to be.” Jarreth places his hands over her shoulders and nudges her toward the tree. “I’ll let you go in alone for a bit.”
Calandra takes a deep breath and finally turns the knob. The trunk is hollowed out and there is a set of spiral stairs that lead into the area in the tree branches. It is done in such a way that the natural beauty of the tree is still intact as much as it possibly can be. What was carved out to make the area for the stairs was also used to make the stairs themselves so that nothing was actually taken from the tree. Calandra slides her hand up the inside wall of the tree trunk as she walks up the stairs. It is rough, the indents and grooves of the tree show through, still left in its natural space.
The stairs step out into the living space. It is round and covers the entire circumference of the top of the tree. The entire place is made of wood. It is glossed over, but still natural looking. The living room, kitchen, and dining room are all one big open area.
The living room is small and holds nothing but a small blue couch, a coffee table, and a large wooden hutch across from it. The table looks almost identical to the one in Jarreth’s cabin. The hutch has ivy engraved into the edges of it. There is a small rug under the coffee table that is a beautiful labyrinth of blues, purples, and pinks. Windows line the entire area to create a beautiful mixture of leaves and ambient light. Calandra finds herself wondering how amazing it must look when the leaves turn colors for fall as Jarreth said they do. There are small slits in the wood above the windows to allow nature to come into the house as it pleases.
The kitchen is small and cozy. Everything is made of wood. There is a small row of cabinets against the back wall and one sink. Across from it is a bar area with small wooden stools without backs. There are still dishes in the sink and a few appliances scatter the countertop. The dining room holds nothing but a beautiful wooden table with two matching chairs on either side of it.
There is a sweet simplicity to everything, yet at the same time it’s very elegant. It seems as though it was abandoned. There are still things just lying around like the leave was unexpected. Calandra finds herself wondering about her mother’s last day here. Standing in this place, the home that her mother had stayed in, Calandra feels more connected with her mother than she ever has before. It brings a peace to her that she has never felt. A comfort, a knowing that she is right where she is supposed to be. She has finally found herself. Her path ahead may not be easy, but life isn’t supposed to be easy, regardless of what world it takes place in.
She didn’t hear Jarreth coming up the stairs. Suddenly, he is in front of her wiping away a tear that she hadn’t noticed was falling.
“Sorry,” she says immediately and the heat rises to her cheeks.
“Never apologize for tears, Cal. They are not a sign of weakness, but a sign of healing and of growth.” Jarreth smiles reassuringly. “So, do you like it?”
Calandra sniffles up the remaining tears that threaten to break through and smiles. “Of course.”
“Have you been upstairs yet?”
Calandra looks around. “I thought I was upstairs?”
“Did you think she didn’t have a bedroom anywhere?” He chuckles.
Calandra shrugs. “I guess I hadn’t really thought much about it, I was too distracted.”
Jarreth reaches out to her and Calandra places her hand in his. He walks her to the edge of the house in between the kitchen and the dining room. What Calandra had thought was a tall, wooden cabinet turns out to contain another small staircase on the other side. The stairs are rather steep and narrow, but luckily there aren’t too many of them as Calandra begins to feel her legs burning as they climb up.
It is the coziest bedroom Calandra has ever seen and she automatically never wants to leave. The walls and floors are glossed-over wood just like the downstairs. There is a wooden four-poster bed with a blue and purple quilt. There is a wooden trunk at the foot of the bed and two small end tables on either side of it. Each end table holds a small lamp with shades that reflect shadows of birds and sprites onto the walls. On the opposite side of the room is an armoire, and next to it a small door that opens into a tiny bathroom.
“Why did you bring me here exactly?” Calandra turns to Jarreth, who is still standing at the entrance to the room.
“Because it’s yours now. Besides, I figured you might want a place to sleep. A place you’d feel comfortable staying.”
Calandra smiles softly. “Thank you.”
Jarreth smiles, but it doesn’t look totally sincere, it looks somewhat sad. “I figured it might help you sort through things.”
“Jarreth, I don’t think where I live is going to help me sort through any of this.”
“What would?”
“I don’t know.” Calandra looks around and
sighs, still feeling a bit lost. “I mean, this does help. I can feel her here, I’ve never felt her before, not really.”
“You really should trust in yourself a little more,” he whispers as he takes a seat on the bed and motions for her to join him.
She tries to say something back, but it gets stuck somewhere between her throat and her mouth.
“You are an amazing person. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t be worth all the trouble you’re causing.” He smiles down at her.
“And here I thought you were trying to actually be nice!” She rolls her eyes.
He winks. “Not the most redeemable person, remember?”
“I already told you I didn’t believe that!” she counters.