"Tac meep," Ixchel replied, wishing she knew a more formal greeting. This ancient denizen of the forest obviously deserved more respect than this phrase, which someone might use when meeting up with another member of her own family. But the vet's vocabulary was limited by her foggy memories of childhood, so she simply shrugged and launched into an outline of her request.
At first, the old woman seemed dubious. But as soon as the vet spoke the name Ixchel, la abuelita's features and voice both underwent a subtle but obvious transformation. And this time when she replied, it was with Ixxie looking out of the eyes of the granny of the wood.
"Ixxie, you're safe!" the vet exclaimed, and found herself springing forward to give the goddess a hug every bit as heartfelt as the one Aunt Maria had provided her wayward niece the night before. Then Ixchel stepped back, ashamed of herself for daring to embrace a god. Good job, she berated herself. Way to show some respect.
"I am indeed safe, and it's good to see you are as well, my child," Ixxie answered in English, breaking down the language barrier that had made Ixchel's previous conversation so stilted. "And now that you're technically speaking to one of my followers instead of to me, I can finally tell you the words you'd use to become my priestess."
Priestess. The word sent a shiver down Ixchel's spine. But this was why she'd followed a strange boy into an unknown Mexican forest, wasn't it? Her only goal for the last twenty-four hours had been to protect Ixxie from Tezcatlipoca's trap, while also giving the kind goddess whatever she needed to reenter the human world. With the bigger picture in mind, the implications of the oath on Ixchel's own life weren't relevant.
Right?
The time for cold feet is long past, Ixchel reminded herself. Then she nodded at the goddess and said, "Yes, I need the words my mother couldn't remember well enough to tell me."
"Well, the words are simple." Ixxie sounded as gentle as always, and her priestess-to-be reminded herself that the goddess would make a good boss. It wouldn't be like having Tezzie hanging over her shoulder at every turn. No, Ixxie didn't tease or pry. She didn't manipulate or manage. Instead, the so-called jaguar grandmother lived up to her name—she was protective and considerate and being her priestess would come as an honor.
"The exact words don't even matter, actually," Ixxie continued. "You could've even made them up. It's not what you say so much as your intention while saying it that counts. So, if you simply hold your charm in one hand and tell the world that you vow to become my priestess—and really mean it—then you will be mine from now until the day you die.
"The question," the goddess continued, "is: do you really want to commit to such a life-long task?"
Chapter 33
I don't believe you, Finn broadcast toward the pesky deity twelve hours after they'd last spoken.
The shifter had given his god the silent treatment all night and for most of the morning, but not because he didn't believe Tezcatlipoca's startling pronouncement. The trouble was that Finn wanted too much to believe, so he didn't trust himself not to be twisted around the god's little finger through pure wishful thinking.
In fact, last night when Tezcatlipoca had dropped his verbal bomb, Finn's heart had leapt with such joy that he knew he'd give almost anything to have his sister by his side once again. Because prior to shifting into human form for the first time, the were-jaguar's mother and twin had been at the center of Finn's life. Leaving his family behind to enter the human world had been one of the hardest things he'd ever done. As a result, it would be a gift from the gods to discover that Finn's sister was a shifter, even if his sibling's first transformation must have been somehow delayed.
But Tez didn't give gifts. And if something seems too good to be true...chances are it's neither good nor true.
The were-jaguar had learned that truism the hard way at the same time he was teaching himself to speak and act like a human being. Now, he reminded himself that if his twin possessed the ability to change into human form, then she would have found a way to contact her only sibling much sooner. No, his sister wasn't a were-jaguar. Tezcatlipoca was merely preying on his follower's weakness in an effort to get his way.
Believing me or disbelieving me doesn't change the facts, the god rebutted. Then Finn found himself standing two-legged for the first time in nearly a day, the god's rusty old mirror cupped in both hands. Fill this with water and I'll show you.
"I'm not putting your statue in the bowl," Finn warned, even though he had a feeling that Tezcatlipoca could literally force his hand if it came right down to it. Still, the shifter hadn't run this far from the scene of his first mistake only to repeat the same errors. Instead, he resolved to either kick over the bowl or to toss the statue away into the trees before he once again granted Tezcatlipoca access to this mirror portal.
But: I'm not asking you to, Tez countered, sounding offended at the very suggestion.
Well, maybe it'll be worth giving the troublemaker what he wants...as long as I take some precautions first. Suiting actions to words, Finn took a moment to place the statue well outside arm's reach before looking around for a source of water.
The liquid was easy to locate since it turned out he'd stopped nearly on the bank of a small stream. By chance or by the god's design? The shifter wasn't certain, but figured that he could handle Tez's manipulations either way. So he simply shot one last warning look at the statue before walking over to fill up Tezcatlipoca's bowl.
Finally, the wind god grumbled. You almost missed the boat due to all your foot-dragging.
Finn rolled his eyes, knowing he was being played but also unwilling to look away from the mirror created by the caught water. A light breeze brushed the contained liquid, and when the ripples cleared, an image rose up to the surface.
This vision was blurrier than when the gods had dueled within the mirror-bowl earlier, but Finn could immediately discern the outline of a black jaguar that resembled his own feline form. Then he gasped in astonishment as he realized that this cat was smaller and sleeker than his own animal half. The feline pictured was lithe instead of bulky and the conclusion was clear—Tez had indeed tracked down a female jaguar.
"Okay, so you found a she-jaguar somewhere." Finn forced disbelief into his voice even as his eyes remained riveted on the scene in the bowl. "That's not surprising. I hear there are about fifteen thousand jaguars left in the wild, so you've got over seven thousand females to choose from. But just because she's got four feet doesn't make her a shifter."
Someday you'll learn not to doubt me, the god griped. But Finn wasn't paying attention. Because the jaguar whose image was cast upon the surface of his bowl was transforming into a woman before his very eyes.
Finn had been too shocked by the gruesomeness of the scene the day before to fully take in either shift he'd been privy to at that time. And watching his own transformation in front of the mirror wasn't very satisfying since his eyes tended to blur at the crucial moment. Now, the shifter's heart was wrenched by the beauty unfolding in front of him, the jaguaress's perfect shape twisting into an equally perfect human form in the time it would have taken to blink once.
The woman's face was cut off by the side of the bowl. But Finn could see enough to know that the shifter he watched was beautiful...
...and entirely naked.
"Tezzie!" Finn exclaimed, turning away before he could take in more than a hint of the woman's body. Because it felt wrong to be voyeuristically watching this unclothed beauty from a distance. Yes, Finn was willing to steal physical objects from the wealthy, but he drew the line at stealing innocence from a woman, even one who would never be aware of his theft.
Plus, how much more reprehensible was Finn's spying if the woman really turned out to be his sister?
What a prude.
The god was laughing at him, and Finn couldn't resist glaring at the statue where the deity's physical body resided. Would Tez at least get a headache if I smashed the thing with a rock? he wondered, not bothering to shield his thoughts from the p
arasitic deity.
Now, now, Tezcatlipoca broadcast, the humor still present in his voice, albeit a little less obvious than before. I've made the terrible thing that is a woman's bare breasts disappear. Although, really, you and I need to have a talk about the pursuit of pleasure....
"Tezzie, focus!" Finn demanded. Despite himself, though, he snuck a peek at the bowl and saw that the water had indeed returned to its mundane state, the female were-jaguar gone.
And did that absence make Finn feel relieved...or disappointed?
He wasn't sure, but he did know that his head was spinning in the aftermath, and not because of bare breasts. So there is a were-jaguaress left in the world. Regardless of the woman's identity, Finn knew he had to protect her from Mirabelle's plotting...and that meant either finding a way to get Tezcatlipoca off his back or enlisting the god's help. While the former option seemed most enticing, the latter was more realistic.
Which meant that it was time to reach a compromise.
So, are you finally ready to talk terms? Tezzie asked, sensing the shift in his follower's mood and getting down to business. Because while I have all the time in the world, you—mere mortal—do not.
"Okay," Finn gave in. "Let's talk."
Chapter 34
Ixchel's immediate urge was to reassure the goddess, to tell her that of course the descendant of a long line of priestesses wanted to become a priestess as well. But somehow the vet couldn't quite force the words through her lips. Instead, Ixchel found herself asking: "What would that entail? Being your priestess, I mean."
Her question was apparently the right one. Because the goddess smiled and patted Ixchel fondly on the hand. "I do love these modern women, ready to fight for what's right...but only after they possess all the details and make up their own minds." Then, the grandmotherly god eased herself back down onto the patch of earth where her human body had been resting before Ixchel showed up. Patting the ground beside her, she added, "You might as well sit. This might take a while."
The granny of the wood had been fixing corn tortillas when her visitor arrived, and the goddess took up the task where her follower had left off. While patting out the damp dough and carefully roasting cakes over the fire, the deity filled Ixchel in on her potential duties.
The assignments were many and varied, but the point standing out most clearly in the vet's mind once she heard everything was the magnitude of her future commitment. If Ixchel swore to the goddess before her, she would be excising every other component of her life. Ixxie would surely do her best to limit requests to a minimum, but a single priestess serving every human being who worshiped the goddess would be run ragged nonetheless.
There would be no time to be a veterinarian. No time to renew her ties with Maria. No time to determine whether the bond she felt growing between herself and Finn was real or just a figment of her fevered imagination.
"And if I decide not to become your priestess?" Ixchel ventured at last. She was almost afraid to ask. Afraid to see the disappointment in the goddess's eyes. And, despite Ixxie's apparent kindness, the vet had to admit that she was also afraid of being punished the way Tezzie would surely retaliate against a worshiper who refused to do his bidding.
"Well, in that case, you have two choices," Ixxie began, but the vet rushed to sidetrack her.
"No, Ixxie. I'm not asking what would happen to me. If I don't swear, what about you? Will you be trapped in this necklace like Tezzie's trapped in his statue? Will you fade away? What will happen?"
The old woman's face crinkled up into a smile and Ixxie proved herself to be a prime handpatter, repeating the gesture she'd used to reassure her human companion earlier in their conversation. "My dear, this isn't a choice you should make for my sake. Despite Tezzie's protestations, gods don't dwindle away into nothingness and disappear. I'm not trapped in any necklace—I only came to you because your blood attracted my attention.
"So the choice is entirely up to you," the goddess continued, still handpatting with a vengeance. "If you decide not to swear to me, all I ask is that you leave your cat charm in the possession of the granny of the wood. She'll find another priestess for me."
Although the vet wanted to know more about how Ixxie would attract another woman to this remote location, the goddess didn't seem worried about the issue. So Ixchel decided not to be either.
Instead, she looked down at the trinket that her mother had presented to her only daughter on the last day of the older woman's life. The cat charm—and the career it implied—was the vet's only remaining link to Mamá, especially now that her brothers had been forcibly removed from her life. In some ways, Ixchel would be repudiating her past yet again by giving away her birthday present, and she could barely imagine a life without the cat charm dangling between her breasts.
But it had never been Mamá's way to live in the past. Although her parents had plenty of reasons to speak of their pastoral upbringing in Mexico, they'd barely mentioned the mother country to their children. Instead, Ixchel's parents had chosen to immerse themselves entirely in their current family. They'd worked long hours in a foreign country where the color of their skin separated them from their neighbors and limited them to menial jobs, all for the sake of holding that family together.
And, in the end, despite being underdogs in their new nation, Mamá and Papá had never complained or spoken about returning to Mexico. Instead, they'd figured out what was truly important in their lives, then had moved heaven and earth to achieve those dreams.
That was the advice Mamá and Papá had always given their children as well. "Just follow your heart," Mamá had told her daughter a few years before her death, when Ixchel had asked for advice on which boy's invitation to accept to a dance. The vet had a feeling that if her mother was alive today, her parent would offer the same words to their adult daughter now.
So which option would help Ixchel achieve the goals that she cared about most? Being Ixxie's priestess would be a worthy life, a way to help hundreds or thousands of women. The goddess had also made it clear that she took care of her own and that Ixchel wouldn't have to worry about paying her bills or finding a place to live once she swore to the goddess. So the benefits of being a priestess were personal as well as of worldly importance.
In a way, the life Ixxie was offering would be much like what Ixchel had been looking for when she fled her family home and worked so hard to become a veterinarian nine years before. As a priestess, Ixchel would be able to ease pain and suffering, all while keeping herself insulated from the dangerous outside world. There was no way her brothers could break through a goddess's wards to harm a hair on the priestess's head, so Ixchel could stop looking over her shoulder and could know that she'd finally become entirely safe.
But was safety what the vet was really looking for? A week ago, she would have answered with a resounding affirmative. And yet, now that the possibility of lifelong security was being offered up on a silver platter, Ixchel wasn't so sure that she wished to wrap herself in cotton padding and tuck herself away from the world.
Instead, Finn's visage once again swam in front of her eyes. His human face...and then his jaguar features. Ixchel had never enjoyed the opportunity to truly explore the were-jaguar's shift. She'd never gotten a chance to see where that one explosive kiss on the airplane might lead them.
She'd never allowed herself the chance to fall in love.
So, this time, the vet was the one to pat the older woman's hand. Yes, she'd be losing her last physical link to Mamá by rejecting Ixxie's offer, and she'd be stepping off the easy path in order to walk blindfolded into the future.
But sometimes safety was overrated. Sometimes, you had to take a leap of faith if you wanted to live life to its fullest.
Her decision made, the vet took a deep breath and offered her goddess a tremulous smile. "Okay," she said at last. "Now I'm ready to hear about my other two options."
Chapter 35
Tez had Finn over a barrel and both of them knew it. The shifter on
ly hoped that the troublesome god might not realize how very tremendously huge that barrel was.
Because Finn was pretty sure he'd recognized the female were-jaguar during his one-second glimpse. How could he not when his feelings in the matter ran so strong and deep?
Best not to think about that, not if I don't want to tip Tezzie off to the fact that he can ask the moon of me, Finn warned himself. So, instead of speaking further about the other shifter, he instead donned his best poker face and started prodding at the wind god.
"You want out of the statue, but I put my foot down at stealing Ixxie's freedom," Finn began. "So we're at a bit of an impasse...unless we're each willing to bend a little."
Me? Why should I be the one to bend? Don't you want to protect your sister?
Finn refused to be goaded. "Yes, we both know what you're holding over my head. But I think you need to be a bit clearer on the fact that I enjoy the higher ground at the moment. Your precious statue sat in the earth for two thousand years before Mirabelle dug you up and before I was stupid enough to place my hand on your prison. So if I made a hole right here, in the middle of a forest where people might drop by once or twice a year if you're lucky, then your statue would probably remain hidden for another two thousand years."
Finn was surprised he hadn't been interrupted already, but in the absence of godly chatter, he kept on talking. "And while I'm quite sure that you could make my life annoying for a while even from a distance, I'm equally certain that your powers would eventually fade away again if I blocked you out of my mind. Don't think I haven't noticed how your strength has grown since Ixchel and I stumbled across your statue, and don't think I haven't realized why. Do you really want to become weaker and weaker until you're barely able to touch the mind of a human being who is physically holding onto your prison? "
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