by Robin Danner
"A whim? Is that all I am to you?” Mathis didn't think the day could get any worse, but apparently it could.
It was not every day he poured out his heart to a woman. To have her toss it back in his face was too much to handle.
He didn't know what was worse, the fact his brother was making the biggest mistake of his life, or Nadia was going to become the biggest regret of his.
"I can't ignore this thing between us, Nadia. I've tried, but you constantly creep into my thoughts."
He wished he were a poet, so he could come up with a combination of words that would make her understand how he felt. “There are a thousand other things I should be thinking of, but all I can focus on is you. How it felt for you to be in my arms. How I enjoyed kissing you."
He swayed forward until their lips were mere inches apart. “And how very much I want to make love to you. You can say it's wrong for me to feel this way, but it's the truth."
He brushed his lips across hers softly.
He rejoiced when she didn't pull away. “Tell me why you keep denying me."
It almost seemed she wouldn't answer, but then she spoke in a whisper. “I lose myself if I agree to be with you."
Mathis didn't even pretend to understand what she meant. “What do you mean?"
"All of my life I've had to fight to prove I was a soldier, not just the daughter of the king's favorite. I had to overcome prejudices against me, my sex, even my hair, to become what I am. I'm good at what I do, and I don't want to lose that."
"And being with me..."
She cut him off before he could finish his question. “I would be the mistress of my prince's brother. Everything I worked so hard to prove would be gone."
He finally understood her logic. In the back of his mind, if he were honest with himself, he had always known she would have to risk her career to be with him.
She would also become a prime target, not only for bullying from her fellow soldiers but from their enemies as well. He may as well paint a bright red target on Nadia's back. The lover of a prince would be too much of a temptation.
He shuddered to think she may be captured, or, God forbid, tortured because of him. Was it worth the risk to take her as a lover?
But if he were honest with himself, he would admit he didn't want her for a casual bedmate. He wanted something permanent though his mind convinced his heart it was much too early to discuss it with her.
She would never believe he was serious if he did. He may even frighten her away.
"What if I were to make you a deal?"
Nadia crossed her arms and glared at him. “A deal? Are we to barter for my virginity?"
He'd known she was a virgin, but he hadn't expected her to admit it so casually.
"If you agree to at least give us a chance, I can promise you that you will always have a place in either my court or that of my brother's."
"I already have a place here."
Mathis wanted to growl in frustration. She was so stubborn. There was so much he could give her. His thoughts ground to a halt. Maybe even marriage. She would be the perfect queen.
Nadia shook her head. “I am not going to sleep with you because you promise me a position."
Everything was coming out so wrong.
Mathis scrubbed his face with his hand. “I don't mean it like that Nadia! You are meant for so much more, if you would only let yourself see it. I am offering you this promise in case your life as a soldier becomes unbearable. If you choose to remain a captain—that is fine too!"
He encircled her waist and pulled her forward to brush his lips across hers again. “I want you to know that you won't have to give up anything for me. All I'm asking for is for you to give us a chance"
She lifted her gaze to his and was silent for several moments. Finally her face softened. “I will think about it."
At least she would consider it. It was more than he had hoped for.
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Chapter 7
Rowena, formerly of Bevelaire, and the intended bride of Prince Talin, sat with a bevy of female companions in the prince's box. Her fair skin was shaded by a colorful parasol she twirled in one hand. She laughed prettily at the archery contest competitors who had gathered in front of the stands to offer her their compliments.
It was a beautiful day, and the people of N'ior had turned out in droves to attend the contest.
Talin reached for his bride's hand, and they stepped to the front of the box for him to speak to the onlookers. “Greetings, people of N'ior. My lovely bride and I would like to welcome you to today's festivities. The winner of the contest will have the first dance with the fair Rowena at tonight's ball. Let the contest begin!"
A trumpeter sounded out a fan-faire, and the contestants lined up according to the lot they'd drawn earlier that day.
Nadia observed from her position near the relative privacy of the judge's box. She was not in uniform as Talin had granted her a reprieve for the day, so she could watch Hugh compete. She'd worn her riding clothes instead, hoping to escape after the competition for a brisk ride around the city.
She told herself not to look, but she kept glancing toward the prince's box. Mathis had still not made an appearance. She sighed and turned her attention back to archers.
Hugh would take his turn near the end of the competition, and there were five archers before him. Her nephew stood with the others, dressed casually, but he held himself erect in the perfect stance of a soldier.
Hugh noticed her eyes upon him and cheerfully waved.
She waved back, easily smiling at the boy who'd become a man seemingly overnight. In a few months, he would be knighted and would continue the family tradition of protecting the kingdom.
"Your nephew seems quite excited."
Nadia nearly jumped a foot at the unexpected sound of a voice beside her.
She clasped a hand to her chest and took a deep breath. “Your Highness!"
Mathis shook his head. “Don't you think it's about time you called me by my given name?"
"Mathis, then,” she corrected with a light laugh.
He was dressed in plain brown breeches and jerkin, but it did little to hide the air of elegance that poured from him.
"I fancied a bit of alone time today, so I escaped from the palace and came here on my own.” He smirked and tugged at the cap that covered his dark hair.
Nadia couldn't stop the grin from spreading across her own face. “Shame on you."
"Are you happy to see me?"
She was, dreadfully so, but she wouldn't admit it that easily. “Perhaps."
They'd parted last night with his words still running through her mind. He'd promised her a place at his court. She wasn't sure what that meant, but he claimed he wanted more than just a brief tumble.
Though the reasons to refuse ran through her mind, they sounded weaker by the moment. Why should she deny herself happiness when it was offered?
She would always be a soldier, and if she were careful, no one need know she had a relationship with the prince.
Talin definitely wouldn't mind. In fact, he'd mentioned to her that morning, when he'd given her the day off, he was not surprised Mathis had caught her eye. It had seemed he was giving her his blessing.
There was nothing stopping her but pride. If she were honest with herself, she would admit that she'd already decided to let him seduce her. She was twenty-four and had no hope of marriage in the near future. There was no good reason she should keep herself chaste.
She wanted him with an intensity that unnerved her, but underneath the desire there was affection for him that could easily turn into love. She'd let her mind rule her actions for far too long. Today she would listen to her heart.
Mathis leaned over to whisper in her ear. “What are you thinking about?"
Her cheeks flamed, but she answered honestly. “You."
He drew back, clearly surprised at her answer. “You were?"
"Yes, but look! It's Hugh's
turn.” She pointed toward the archers, grateful for the interruption.
She clenched her hands together as if in prayer. “Come on, Hugh."
Mathis laughed and glanced sideways at her. “You do realize this is just a contest to entertain Rowena, don't you?"
Nadia rolled her eyes at him. “I take competition very seriously. Hugh does as well."
"Why am I not surprised?"
She shushed him with a wave of her hand. “It would mean so much to him if he wins."
"He will win.” Mathis spoke with confidence.
Her eyes flew to his face. “How do you know?"
He smiled down at her. “Because he has a great teacher."
Nadia flushed with pride and turned her attention back to the arena.
Hugh lifted his bow and aimed. She held her breath as he released.
The arrow flew true and pierced the direct center of the bulls-eye.
"Yes!” She jumped up and down and clapped like a giddy girl, too excited to care what others might think. There were still a couple of archers left to go, but Hugh had a good chance of winning.
"Well done, my boy!” Mathis called out.
Hugh grinned at the prince and then gave her a broad wink.
Her cheeks flamed with color. If she were not careful, the entire kingdom would know she was interested in more than the safety of the prince.
Mathis appeared amused by her embarrassment. He brushed a gloved finger across her cheek and softly tutted. “My dear, you appear to have been in the sun for much too long."
She rolled her eyes heavenward. “Oh stop teasing me, Your Highness."
She cringed at the sing-song nature of her voice. Was she actually flirting with him in broad view of everyone?
Nadia recovered quickly. “It is warm today now that you mention it."
She fanned her face with her hand.
He nodded slowly, never taking his eyes off her face. “It certainly is."
Moisture pooled between her legs when he gifted her with a slow wink. He really was too handsome by half.
He waved a hand toward her breeches. “Are you going for a ride later?"
Was it a sexual reference?
She would have expected it from Talin, but not Mathis. So far his seduction of her had been quietly sensual, as if he were wooing her instead of merely trying to bed her.
Her eyes flew to his face, but he didn't betray his thoughts by even the flicker of an eyelash.
Fine, two could play this game.
With a nonchalance she was far from feeling, she answered. “I desire a ride very much, Your Highness."
Mathis chuckled at her audacious statement. “Perhaps I shall join you?"
She shrugged as if the matter was of no importance to her. “If you wish."
He leaned in to whisper for her ears only, and she knew she had been correct in calling his bluff. “I wish it, Nadia. I wish it very much."
Nadia tried acted as if she wasn't affected; her breath came out in shaky gasps, and her fingers trembled on the wooden railing she clutched. He knew she was not indifferent to him.
The remainder of the competition passed in a blur, but when Hugh was announced as the winner she almost went hoarse shouting “Hurray!” with the crowd.
Mathis clapped along with her.
"I told you he would win.” Mathis had to shout to be heard over the crowd.
Nadia's smile was bright, and she fondly watched her nephew celebrate his win.
Hugh was ecstatic. His young face gleamed with good health and apparent happiness as he approached Rowena. The dazzling blonde beauty bestowed a medallion as a token of appreciation around his neck and graced him with a kiss upon his cheek.
The crowd cheered louder as the boy turned bright red.
Hugh approached them and flashed his medallion. “I actually won!"
Nadia leaned over the railing to give him a hug. “I knew you could do it. I am so proud of you."
"And you get to dance with the fair Rowena tonight,” Mathis teased.
Hugh flushed to the roots of his hair, but he smiled easily. “If I can convince Prince Talin to grant me a dance. He has been a dedicated suitor recently."
Nadia doubted Talin would mind. He had to still be disturbed about Rowena attempting to poison him.
Hugh held up his medallion again. “I'm going to find Grandfather, so I can show him my award."
He hurried away and soon disappeared in the crowd. The spectators began to disperse, and the arena quickly emptied of all but a few stragglers.
"Prince Mathis!"
They both turned at the sound of a voice. Several high-ranking officials in the kingdom motioned for him to join them.
Mathis groaned. “I should go.” He gave her a questioning look. “Will you wait for me?"
Nadia shrugged. “I wanted to let the streets clear before I go for my ride anyway."
He smiled at her. “I shall not be long."
She waited near the arena and pretended to be interested in the removal of the archery targets, but her mind whirled. She told herself that she was not anxious for him to rejoin her. Her conscience proclaimed her to be a liar.
After several minutes, Mathis strolled back to her side. “Shall we go?"
He crooked his elbow at her, but she refused it with a slight shake of her head. She could not be seen strolling arm in an arm with the prince.
If he were irritated by her refusal, he didn't show it.
She was glad to see he was not prone to tantrums as many royals were when they did not get their way. It spoke well of his character.
A festive air reigned over the city, and as they strolled toward the stables, many Noventians called out to him. He was apparently beloved by the city as well.
Nadia studied his interaction with the people.
To the strangers he met, he was polite without fail. To the people he knew, he greeted them with a warm smile and friendly conversation.
It was apparent he was a good diplomat. The rumors of his honorable nature did not seem unfounded.
After they fetched their horses, they decided to head to the south.
Mathis rode at her side, easily controlling the high spirited black mare he'd chosen for his mount. “I must admit, it is easier to ride with one's hands unbound."
She recalled the icy silence they'd endured the last time they rode together. Their journey to N'ior had not been an easy one.
She drew ahead of him and sent him a challenging smile. “I bet I can outride you with my hands tied behind my back."
He laughed at her challenge but did not attempt to entice her to prove it.
Like their previous ride together, this one was done in silence, but it was a companionable calm instead of one wrought with tension. They rode out of the city, and once out on the open plain, they allowed their horses to gallop.
It was exhilarating.
Nadia's hair loosened from its braid, and strands whipped about her head as they rode. Mathis kept pace with her, neither allowing her to pull ahead, nor trying to outrun her.
The grin on his face proved he was enjoying the ride as much as she was.
They reached a stream and pulled up to let their horses have a drink.
Nadia dismounted and found a soft patch of grass to sink down onto. She sighed with pleasure. “I used to come here as a child. It was one of my favorite places to swim."
Mathis joined her on the ground. He picked up a rock and tossed it toward the stream. It skipped twice before it sank beneath the water. “Talin and I did as well."
Nadia pointed to a small stretch of sand that edged the bank. “Lance taught me to swim there."
His eyes warmed. “My father taught me there as well."
Nadia fell silent and enjoyed the peacefulness of the scene. The narrow stream cut through the valley of N'ior like a shining blue ribbon. The melting ice from high up in the mountains kept the stream full most of the year. It was only in early spring, during the high melting season, that
the banks overflowed. As it was summer, the stream would only be about four feet at its deepest.
She pulled a blade of grass and idly wrapped it around her right forefinger. “It is good to have a day of leisure."
"You deserve it.” Mathis leaned forward to tickle the tip of her nose with a blade of grass he picked.
She narrowed her eyes as she swatted his hand away.
They spent the afternoon alternately walking or riding.
The sun was low in the horizon, and they were resting on a grassy bank, when Mathis pointed out it was time to head back. “We should go."
"Yes. It is late.” She stood and brushed the grass from her breeches.
She wished the day would never end.
Nadia enjoyed his company. He did not talk down to her, a trait she despised in men. He treated her as an equal, worthy of having an opinion.
She went to mount her horse, but Mathis grabbed her hand and pulled her toward him. “Come to the ball tonight."
She ignored the plea in his eyes. “No."
"I want to see you.” His thumb traced circles against her palm. “I want to dance with you."
"I do not dance.” But how she wished she did.
"I will teach you."
She laughed at his earnest expression. “No, Prince. I'm afraid it isn't possible. I have nothing suitable to wear to a ball."
Mathis loomed over her, and it took every ounce of restraint she possessed to not fall into his arms.
"Then meet me in the garden. I will come for you at midnight."
He did not give up easily.
A midnight assignation in the garden?
Nadia recalled their previous kiss there and shivered with desire.
What would it hurt? If she were spotted, she could merely say she was patrolling the area. Besides she wanted this. She yearned to spend more time with him.
Before she could think better of it, she stretched upward and pressed a quick kiss against his lips. “Yes, Prince. I will meet you."
He did not allow her to end the kiss. His arms wrapped around her waist and held her against his body as his lips moved over hers.
He broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers. He breathed harshly. “I want you, Nadia."