“Makes one of us.” I started to walk away but paused. “My father, do you think he would have done this differently?”
“Well, yes, but you and your father are two different dragons,” he said simply. “Don’t let his legacy influence what you feel is right to do. You have a big heart, Forrest, you care for your people. That is what’s important. You will do what’s right, always. Of that, I have no doubt. Kadin would be very proud of you.”
“Thank you, Magnus, for being here.”
He bowed his head low. “My pleasure, sire. If you need anything, all you have to do is ask.”
I smiled warmly at him, warned my guard to be up and at it in the morning, but winked as I left.
Their laughter followed me.
I continued on my way to my chamber, leaving the door open for the shifter guard. Deep down, I knew I left it open in hopes of another happening by and deciding to step inside to speak with me. The chances of Mori returning tonight were small, but a dragon could hope.
Kate had been right, the woman I wanted to speak to, to be with, she was already in my life. But how could I possibly even begin to approach her if and when she came back to us? The second she learned of our plans, she’d most likely be gone again to tell the gods, and I would be off to fight in another battle that might end with my death.
No, going out a bachelor dragon king did not sound like a very solid plan. Not very solid, at all. Then the shifter arrived, and the drinking commenced. We talked about the war at first, but then shifted to tales of our adventures. I recalled the day Kate started to eat a fractorn, and he regaled me of the few battles he’d seen, sticking to the lighter side of being out in the fields. Pranking the other guards. We laughed until the fire burned low and it felt good to be around someone who didn’t know my deepest fears.
Three pitchers of ale later, and the shifter guard finally bade me good night, leaving me to my thoughts, which sadly started to turn back to Mori and that damned ache in my chest that refused to abate. The fire burned low in the hearth, but it was a warm night, so I let it go. After closing my door, I fell into bed. I expected the amount of ale I consumed to help put me to sleep quickly, but instead, I tossed and rolled, tangling my legs in the blankets until I growled in annoyance and threw them off.
At one point, I dreamed, but all I saw was Mori before me. She was walking, and then suddenly, she was snatched away by a dark, green light. There was a green flash, and she was trapped in Baladon’s realm again, chained to a wall, screaming for help. I tried to reach her, but each time I fell short until the ground swallowed me up, right before her eyes.
I jerked away this time and winced when I moved.
My head throbbed as I sat up, but whether from the ale or the rampage of endless ridiculous thoughts and that dreadful nightmare, I wasn’t sure. Smoke trailed out of my nose. My feet touched on cold stones, waking me up even more.
Every time I closed my eyes, all I saw was Mori in my dreams, chained to that wall, except this time, I didn’t get there in time to save her. I knew nothing about her, but every instinct I had screamed at me to protect her. To go to her now, even though I couldn’t actually reach her, and keep her safe. But safe from what? And why her? We dragons were not always so open to magic, or the gods, to be honest. We respected them, but we liked to think we chose our own paths, away from them. How could it be then that I was drawn to Mori?
“Doesn’t matter. She might not even return and if she does, who says she’ll get to stay,” I muttered to the darkness.
I stalked around the room, rekindling the fire as I passed the hearth. I blew a soft breath of fire onto the fresh logs, poking them when they caught. The flames grew larger and crackled happily away before long. I watched them, my mind drifting back to the chaos of the evening. After we’d returned from Baladon, and all that happened afterward…
Tristan took off into the night. Hank called after him, but it was no use. The alpha of the shifter kingdom was gone. Somberly, we’d all turned to stare at Sabella. Dead. She was dead.
“I can’t believe it,” Kate whispered, tears running down her cheeks.
“She held on as long as she could,” Boris said, resting a hand on Sabella’s forehead and choking back tears of his own. Just like the rest of us. “She may not have been our queen for long, but she will be given the final rights as one.”
The shifters around him nodded and moved to carefully pick up Sabella’s body and carry her from the hall. Drake and Ashan said they would prepare a wagon so we could return to Torolf. Neither one seemed capable of speaking beyond that, and they followed Sabella’s figure out the doors. Farrah’s body was being surrounded by the gods we’d brought back with us. The ones we managed to save, but the cost had been much greater than any of us anticipated.
“What do we do now?” Kate whispered. “She… she’s dead and Tristan, he’s just gone!”
“We focus on mourning until after Sabella is laid to rest,” Boris stated sternly. “Then, we make our plan for revenge.”
The trip back to Torolf from here would take two days if we didn’t stop and from the sorrowful and longing looks of Hank and Danielle, they would push through until they reached their home. Boris was quietly discussing the details of the journey back home with them when a glimmer of light appeared out of the corner of my eye. I turned, and there stood Mori. Some of her light seemed to be returning, and the stars shimmered as they trailed down her dark hair, dragging along the floor behind her.
I bowed to her, but she reached out her hands and rested them on my shoulders, putting me back upright.
“I have yet to thank you,” she said, her voice smooth and pure as the light that emanated from her. “You saved my life, King Forrest, and for that, I will be forever in your debt. Truly. I hate to think what would’ve become of me if you had not come when you did.”
I wanted her hands to stay on my shoulders, but she pulled them away, tilting her head as she stared at me closer. “I’m afraid our mission came at a high cost, and we weren’t able to save everyone.”
“That is how war is, unfortunately.”
“Mori, we must return to see to Farrah,” one of the gods called to her.
She nodded and stared at me with regret. “I’m afraid I must leave you, King Forrest.”
“I understand. I…” I frowned, the words failing to manifest.
“Yes?”
“It’s nothing. Be safe, Mori.”
She acted like she wanted to say more, but then she walked away to be with the other gods, her family. She lifted her hand in farewell before a bright white flash of light surrounded them all, and they vanished from the hall…
I thought that would be the last time I would see her. Not shooting through the sky to come and warn us of the fight still to come. Such a short conversation, but her eyes, there was so much in those few moments together. Not that it mattered. We were in the midst of a war and Baladon would be making a move again. We’d pissed him off. Hopefully, Sabella wounded him with that final attack. I needed to stay focused on the task at hand, at saving the realms.
Not entertaining the notion that Kate and Sabella’s ideas about Mori and I were true.
I sat up before the fire for another few hours until a knock came at my door announcing breakfast was ready in the hall. What was another sleepless night to me anyway? I groaned as I stood and freshened myself up for whatever this new day would bring.
3
Mori
If I could’ve slept away the hours, I would’ve, but sadly gods did not sleep. I walked through the garden as Thorne and Devon, the rest of the gods, worked on where to move our sanctuary to next. Staying in one realm for too long was asking for Baladon to attack us when we were too weak to defend ourselves. He was wounded, and though he was stronger, it would still take time for him to recover. I heard talk of reinforcing one realm and moving everyone there, finding a way to set off traps for him if he went to the other realms. No one asked my opinion, so I kept it to myself.
Not that I would be much use to them at the moment anyway.
My light had slowly returned, but I felt lethargic, and when I tried to summon it to my hands, it flickered in and out, refusing my commands. I gave up after a while and let myself simply be.
Since returning, Thorne had yet to speak to me about what his plans were or why he acted strangely before I left.
I found a quiet spot to sit and be alone, running my hands over the blades of grass.
Seeing Forrest again had made my already unfocused mind worse—and better at the same time. There was so much I wanted to say to him, but there was no why? Why did I feel a pull to him? I wanted to blame it on him being the one who saved me, but that was too easy. I felt… different when I was near him. Almost like I was back to my old self, and yet a new me at the same time.
I grunted in annoyance, cursing these unfamiliar feelings that made my life more complicated than it already was. And deep down, I swore I knew him. That we’d met before. Walked together under the night sky. But if that were true, then why couldn’t I recall the moment?
“Why are you out here alone?” Agaris came down the path and joined me on the ground. “The others could use your smile.”
“I do not wish to be in the way. And what smile?”
“The one you usually wear. I’m surprised you’re not.”
“Smiling? Why should I be, with the way the world is going right now? Thorne said it himself, the era of the gods is coming to an end.”
Agaris removed the sword sheath from her back, set it on the ground, then leaned back. She closed her eyes as the sunlight washed over her, looking fierce and peaceful at the same time. “All things must end, Mori, even us.”
“I know, that’s what he said, but still. How can we abandon the realms at a time like this?”
“If they weren’t in good hands, the rest of us wouldn’t be.”
More riddles. The rest of us. Thorne’s strange wording earlier. Was I being left behind?
Punishment for what you’ve done, the voice whispered, and I shushed it loudly.
Agaris’ eyes opened. “Is there something else going on inside that head of yours you’re not sharing?”
“No, nothing.”
“And what of the dragon king?”
I picked absently at a long blade of grass. “What of him? He saved me, and I’m grateful.”
“And you have feelings for him, do you not?”
I shrugged, not sure I could answer without letting too much information slip out.
“Mori, when was the last time you let yourself love anyone? Ever?”
“I’m sorry I’m not like the other gods, and I do not take lovers every other century,” I muttered as my cheeks grew hot. “I was happy with my life before this mess happened. There was no longing for it.”
Agaris smirked. “It’s true many of us have had our… dalliances. Farrah, for example.”
“And you and your soldiers,” I said quietly.
She threw a handful of grass at me. “We are not discussing me. We are discussing you.”
“There’s nothing to talk about! What we should be worried about is Baladon, not my strange feelings for a dragon I just met and feel like I’ve known forever.”
“Ha! So, you do have feelings for him then? I thought as much.”
I fell backward into the grass with a groan. “None of this makes sense! I just met him. Why am I so torn up inside over wanting to see him again? Why?”
“Why don’t you ask Harper? That is her territory if you recall.”
“No, I will steer clear of her and her lectures about love that go on and on and on.”
I usually received one once a decade, about breaking free of my realm and learning to open my heart to love. Since becoming the gatekeeper, I did have the opportunity to explore my new range of emotions and wants, but my sense of duty always held me back from exploring what I could have. I never let myself have that chance and who would I have even had it with?
I was the gatekeeper, forever bound to the orb of the gods. Before that, I was a star in the sky with no emotional capacity whatsoever until the gods gave me one, made me into what I was now. Had I longed for love in my life? Every now and then over the many years I’ve been around, but an instinct inside me said if it was meant for me, it would find a way to happen.
And now Forrest was in my life, a dragon who confused me as much as drove me mad with wanting to see him again. It was infuriating. For a moment, I longed to be nothing more than a star again and leave all these muddled feelings behind me. But then I would never see Forrest again, and my heart sank at the notion.
“There will come a time,” Agaris said softly, “that you will have to choose your path, Mori.”
I propped up on my elbow, frowning as my stomach churned with the warning in her words. “What path? I’m already on my path… aren’t I?”
“You tell me. Do you feel as if your life is complete? And be honest with yourself, if not with me.”
For two long decades, I was trapped in a cage before I was chained to a wall for another thirty. Unable to know what was happening outside Baladon’s realm. Only able to hear those being tortured. Before, I knew my destiny, my duty, and did it willingly without complaint. But the more I looked back over the centuries before, I realized how shut off I made myself. How weak I was in all the ways that seemed to matter now. In the end, being strict with the rules laid out by Thorne had done me nothing. Had I missed out on what all there was to experience in this lifetime? My path, the one I was destined to walk, was it too late to find it now?
Or was it waiting for me somewhere not in the realms of the gods?
“I don’t know,” I confessed. “My world is upside down and inside out now.”
You do not deserve to find your path. You never will. You will be lost for all time…
I winced at the harshness of the voice.
Agaris sat up. “Mori? What is it?”
“Nothing, just… I’m fine.”
“The darkness,” she whispered, and I froze. “It lingers in all of us.”
“I keep hearing a voice, it sounds like me, but… it’s tearing me apart. Telling me what I already know to be true.”
“And what is that?” she asked sternly.
I took a deep breath and blew it out, sending stars scattering from my hair hanging beside my face. “All of this, where we are now, it’s my fault.”
Agaris gripped my shoulders hard, her eyes forever shifting colors held my gaze firmly. “You listen to me, you failed at nothing, do you understand? Baladon escaped from his prison, one he was never meant to leave again. You fought to save us all. There is no shame in what happened. You must fight against the shadow in your mind lest it take control. Lest it destroy what light you have left.”
My mind fell back into those memories, knowing how wrong she was. Before I could tell her the truth of what happened, someone cleared his throat nearby, and we both turned to find Thorne waiting for us on the stone path.
“I need a word with Mori alone.”
She gave me another hard squeeze then picked up her sword and walked off. Thorne took her place, settling on the grassy lawn beside me. He said nothing, and the minutes ticked by.
“We are leaving this realm soon,” he finally said.
“Where do we go next?”
“We are leaving. You have somewhere else to go.”
“What are you up to? Are you punishing me?”
His eyes widened, and he stared at me as though I’d asked if he was going to sentence me to death. “Good gracious, child, no. Not in the least.”
“Then why am in not going with you?”
“You have a different role to play, and as such, you are needed elsewhere.”
“And this role would be…” I trailed off, waiting for him to fill in the blanks, but he merely grinned wider. “No help.”
He chuckled warmly, and the sound chased away the darkness, for a moment at least. “The impatience of youth.
Ah, how I miss it sometimes.”
I wasn’t young in terms of mortal years, but to the gods, I was the child, the youngest of them all, and created out of necessity. I felt like I had hardly lived at all compared to them. Perhaps that was the reason I felt so comfortable around Forrest. I was in a way closer to his age than the gods and others I’d been surrounded by since my beginning. It was probably also why I was so resistant to the gods’ era ending when I still felt there was so much left for me to do in this lifetime.
“You’re not going to tell me anything?” I pushed, hoping for a hint.
“That is one of the great curses of following one’s path. The choice of where to take your next step and that next step will change your course. I cannot give you a hint for fear it would take you away from your true path.”
“You know talk like that only truly works when it’s Devon speaking,” I muttered.
He patted my shoulder. “Yes, well, it appears after all these years, he has rubbed off on me.”
“Where are you sending me?”
“Oh, I would’ve thought that obvious. Back to Forrest in Torolf.”
My heart jumped at the idea of seeing him again so soon. “And what am I to tell them this time?”
“Whatever you feel is relevant, though I will ask you withhold the truth of where we are going.”
“You want me to keep that secret, still?”
“You will know when the time is right to reveal such information, so yes.”
The reason for my returning to Forrest was unknown to me, but from the calculating look in Thorne’s eyes, he was holding quite a bit from me. He knew far more than he was letting on and it fueled my already sensitive temper of late. I was no use to anyone down there. I was too weak to fight, and my unstable emotions made me a walking time bomb if I lost total control. I was a star in god form and self-destructing down there could be disastrous. Agaris sensed the darkness looming within me. Couldn’t Thorne feel the same?
He seemed ready to send me on my way when a shadow appeared on the path, blocking the sun from reaching us.
Stars (Dragon Reign Book 8) Page 3