by Nikki Landis
“Who?” Grim shouted. “Who’s shot?”
“Suraya!”
“Fuck!”
Motorcycle engines could be heard in the distance. They were coming but it wouldn’t be in time. Suraya tried to speak but couldn’t. The bright shine that was always so full of life in her eyes was fading.
“Trish,” she managed to speak one word before her body jolted. Once. Twice.
The light completely went out. Like someone flipped a switch. Nothing but a cloudy gray filled her eyes. A foggy remnant of the place her soul used to live.
Wailing with grief, I hunched over Suraya and burst into tears. My shoulders shook as I wept for my best friend and her sister. Sasha was going to be devastated. How the fuck did this happen?
Gunshots rang out and I heard multiple voices approaching the building. I was too distraught to pay attention to what happened. I heard Acid’s voice and his triumphant laugh. Bodie’s cry of suffering. Grim’s roar of rage. It was all too much.
Rising slowly to my feet, I could feel Suraya’s blood soaking into my clothes and dripping onto the hardwood floors of the Blacktop. Dazed, I didn’t know which end was up. Shocked and traumatized, I couldn’t speak. I didn’t recognize anyone or anything around me. My entire body was shaking and wouldn’t stop.
Spooked, I ran. If anyone followed, I wasn’t sure. If was hurt in the process, I didn’t care.
All I knew was that my life would never be the same ever again.
***
A week later I stood in front of the Crossroads with Grim. He found me after I ran and brought me here, spending every moment with me until the shock wore off and I could begin to process what happened. There was no way to describe what it was like to watch someone die. A piece of my soul was altered in a way that could never be fixed. I felt lost. Broken. Terrified.
Grim promised Acid and the Scorpions would suffer for what they did to Suraya, but I didn’t want to hear it. My heart closed off from him and the entire fucking world. I couldn’t handle what I’d seen. Devastated, I couldn’t even face Sasha. I didn’t speak to her until I had to tell her where Suraya’s body was. It was a dark day.
Bodie left and no one heard from him. He was the only one who felt her loss like I did.
The funeral, holding Sasha’s hand the entire time, returning back to the apartment. It was all a blur. I didn’t know one day from the next. Sasha and I slept in the same bed. Neither of us could function. Both completely ripped apart by Suraya’s murder.
The Royal Bastards MC sent members to watch over us at all times. I grew used to their shadow, but they remained at a distance. Sasha never showed her face. She remained hidden from the world and I didn’t blame her. Neither of us wanted anything to do with bikers or anything that reminded us of how Suraya died.
The toll was heavy on my relationship with Grim. We grew apart. I couldn’t talk to him. Everything was a mess. He stopped by one afternoon after days of silence. His expression was sad, and I already knew how the conversation would end. “We need to talk.”
I nodded, letting him inside and we sat at the kitchen table. “You’ve got something to say.”
“Yeah.” If I didn’t know him better, I would have sworn tears filled his eyes. “You’re suffering, angel. It breaks my heart.”
I shrugged. There wasn’t a way to respond to that.
“I think we need a clean break. It’s too much to come to the Crossroads. You’re hurting and I can’t seem to make it better.” His head hung down. “Forgive me, Trish. I never wanted this.”
“I know.” He didn’t mean for it to happen, but I knew violence was the inevitable conclusion. MC life wasn’t for me. “It’s too much.”
“Yeah. It is.” He stood slowly. “I want you to stay in touch. You need anything, you call. I don’t give a fuck. If it’s within my power, I’ll do whatever I can for you.”
“I appreciate that.” My voice was flat. Lifeless. I should be feeling more but I couldn’t. My heart stopped feeling the same moment Suraya’s gave out.
I had nothing to give. Not even for myself.
“Baby.”
I looked up, meeting the gray irises that held the emotion I was unable to touch. Too far buried in my soul to find.
“I want you to know that I don’t regret a single second we had together. Not one.”
I had so many regrets I didn’t know where to start but loving Grim? That wasn’t one.
“I don’t regret us either,” I whispered, my throat tight.
He pulled me to my feet and his arms surrounded me in a gentle embrace. “You ever want to talk about this again, I’m here. Maybe,” he faltered, “Maybe in the future . . .”
He didn’t finish. It was left open. A tiny spark of hope we both wanted to cling to.
“Maybe.”
Grim tilted my chin up and pressed a kiss to my lips. “You’re never alone. I’ll always have someone watching. Until I finish Acid, you’re still under my protection.”
I needed that. “Thanks.”
When he left, I didn’t know how to process it. Nothing made sense in my world and it continued to deteriorate, crashing down around me with relentless waves of agony and torment. Gutted, I knew I didn’t want to lose Grim, but he was right. We needed a clean break. I wasn’t able to give him what he wanted. He couldn’t give me what I needed.
It was a stalemate.
Six months dragged by and nothing changed. Little by little, I learned to breathe again. My chest never lost the ache though and I wasn’t sure if that was because of Grim, Suraya’s death, or the knowledge that Acid was still out there plotting and planning his revenge.
My smile wasn’t quite as full as it used to be. The cause was a certain biker president that had severed all connection since that fateful night when Suraya lost her life. He said I could text or call, but he didn’t, so I never tried. It was like our love never even existed.
Sasha and I were both in danger and nothing changed that. In the months that followed, we still had to watch our backs on a daily basis and prepare for the worst. I kept those getaway bags stashed at the Blacktop. Probably wasn’t wise to keep the job there but I grew apathetic. Part of me just didn’t care and knew the end would come at some point. I was a loose end. Acid was a snake in the grass waiting for the right time to strike.
Sasha and I should have left this town a long time ago. Problem was, we were stuck in the past and trying to move on from our mutual loss, but it was far easier said than done. I kept hoping Grim would show up at the bar. I didn’t know what I wanted but I knew there was too much left unsaid between us. Sasha refused to leave the area until the murderous asshole who killed Suraya faced justice.
It was a fucked-up lose, lose situation.
I didn’t see anything changing in the immediate future.
That was why I decided I needed to leave. I wasn’t planning on telling a soul. A visit to my sister in Ohio was long overdue. I grabbed my duffle bag and dropped it outside the storeroom window. I didn’t want Sasha to see and have to answer a hundred questions. She’d figure it out.
The winter grew cold this year and I bundled up, heading out the back door at the end of my shift. Sasha was sitting on a bench, her gaze fixed on the stars that were popping up in the newly darkened night.
“You’re gonna freeze your cute ass off,” I joked.
“No more than you.” She tried to smile and failed. “You off?”
“Yeah. Want a ride?”
She shook her head. “Nah, I’ll go with Shelly. She’s closing.”
“You know you could stay with me. I don’t mind.”
“You’ve got enough to worry about,” she argued, refusing for the third time. “No unnecessary attention. Remember? We both have to lay low and it’s better if we do it apart rather than together.”
I leaned in and gave her a quick hug. “Stay safe.”
“You too, babe.”
Around the side of the building, I picked up my bag. The car was slow to heat and I waite
d for it to warm up, shivering the entire time. The airport wasn’t far. I needed a few things from home and a second bag that held the rest of my clothes and necessities. My key was in the lock of my front door when someone grabbed me from behind. A dark sack was thrown over my head as I was lifted, my body rushed across the yard before I was tossed into a vehicle. My ass landed on a flat steel bed and I didn’t say a word.
Death finally found me . . . and all I thought was that I was ready to be free.
Months had lapsed since I last saw my Trish. Every minute without her was pure agony. I made the decision that I needed to at the time. Keeping her safe was far more important than keeping her at my side. Acid and the Scorpions had to believe that Trish and I were no longer together. The best way to ensure that was to set her free and let her go. Didn’t change the fact that I let the one person who meant everything walk out of my life.
I was a miserable fuck, and everyone knew it. Short-tempered, I had a hard time sleeping. Trish’s scent was in my room and on the sheets. Her essence was everywhere, and it was the only way I could move on. When one of the club whores washed my sheets, I lost my shit. Trish was no longer lingering in the air.
All I could think about was the fact that I had fucked it all up with her. I promised the moon and gave her nothing but heartache. The last time I saw her she was so lost and broken, I didn’t know how to deal with it or make it better. I assumed leaving her life was the best way to set her free. Her aura was so altered I had a hard time stopping the tears that wanted to spill.
I did that. I brought her to that point. Association with me and my club led her down that destructive and harmful path. She was a shell of herself and I had to live with the fact it was my fault. How did I bring her back from the edge? How did I convince her that we still belonged together when she couldn’t look me in the eye?
How did I say I love you when I couldn’t look into her eyes without guilt?
Maybe I was just destined for a certain life. Maybe fate had intervened, and I was set on a collision course that couldn’t be stopped until I ended up dead. Was it my destiny to end up alone? To die at the hands of my enemies?
Perhaps that was why I never had any hesitation or trouble accepting that contract the devil presented. It just felt right. My Reaper embraced my thirst for vengeance and from that moment on, we were one.
I’d go to any lengths to get retribution after what Scar, Acid, and Razr did to me, Keys, Lockjaw, and my club. When the Scorpions went after Suraya and Trish, they cultivated my hatred and need for total and complete annihilation. If it meant my soul would suffer eternal hell and damnation, I could accept it. After all, I was commissioned by the devil to reap his chosen souls and I’d give him a few more just to seal the deal.
Standing face to face with that calculating and greedy bastard out in the desert was the scariest thing I’d ever done in my life. Once he presented that contract, there had been no turning back. Anyone who’s ever looked death in the eye will understand how deeply he can see into your soul. He always enticed you with the one thing you desired above all. His presentation minutes before I died was too good to refuse.
I grew to love the vicious Reaper that intertwined with my soul. We were one thought and entity. There was a hunter’s drive in his monstrous thirst for vengeance. A predator’s stealth and sick enjoyment. I wanted blood and so did my Reaper.
We needed to win Trish back and the only way to do so was to kill and end the threat against her. Acid had gone underground. For six months, I searched and staked out all his compounds. He hid until the moment he was ready to surface.
In the meantime, I couldn’t find Trish. She was gone. I wasn’t sure where she went but I hadn’t had eyes on her in days. Something in my gut prompted me to locate her. If nothing else, for peace of mind.
I dialed Bodie’s number, knowing he was probably in bed, but I didn’t give a fuck. I missed my brother. He’d been gone too long. Never came back home more than a couple of times since Suraya was killed.
“What?” he snarled, grumpy as fuck at being awakened before noon.
“Hey,” I replied with a chuckle. “Catch you at a bad time?”
“Nah,” he grumbled. “What the fuck you want so early in the damn morning?”
“It’s almost noon, you lazy fucker. Need a favor and you’re just the guy to do it.”
“I’m listening.”
“You remember Tricia?”
“Your ol’ lady? Or the one who used to be?”
I cussed a few choices words and scowled, picking up a chair in my office and throwing it against the wall in frustration. “Yeah, that’s the one.”
“What about her?”
“She’s missing.”
“Wanna tell me how you know that?”
Like it wasn’t obvious. “I know everything that happens with Trish.”
“What do you want me to do? Check out the Blacktop?”
“Yeah. I need to know if she’s been there recently. Let me know what you find.”
“Will do, pres.”
Cold brisk air blew in a sudden gust around my office and I closed the window, ending the call with Bodie. I was restless and didn’t like the fact that I couldn’t control all the shit that kept trickling around my life lately.
Bodie showed up later that night and brought in none other than Suraya’s fuckin’ ghost. Every brother in the club was in an uproar. I had to separate them all until I heard from Bodie. Scorpions MC had shown up at the Blacktop and nearly taken him out. Something big was happening. I sent Bodie back to find out as much as he could from the lookalike. The expression on his face was obvious that he was spooked.
Who wouldn’t be? He lost the woman he loved and then she shows up and shocks the hell out of him.
I was waiting in the chapel when he knocked and then strolled in, shutting the door.
“You’re never gonna believe this shit. Suraya had an identical twin. Her name is Sasha.”
Wow. Really?
“How did we miss that?”
“Don’t know. Sasha says she doesn’t know where Trish is, but I don’t know if she’s telling the truth. My instincts say she’s hiding something, I can tell you that.”
“None of this makes sense. Trish hasn’t gone off grid since all that shit went down six months ago. Why now?”
“I know,” he agreed, “but there’s something else. Sasha said she spoke to Trish and saw her leave the Blacktop at around nine p.m. How is that fuckin’ possible if Tricia’s been missing longer?”
“She must have been hiding from me.” I slammed a fist on the surface of the table. “She knows I watch over her. I haven’t kept it a secret, so it doesn’t make a lot of fucking sense that she’d disappear.”
“Maybe she’s just playing a game with you, brother.”
I stood so fast my chair tipped over. “I don’t think so. None of this is a coincidence, including the Scorpions who showed up at the Blacktop shortly after you arrived. Somebody knows something and I’m betting that sweet little piece of ass in your room has plenty of her own secrets.”
“What do you want me to do?”
“Do you really think Sasha is holding back?”
“Yes, she has to know more than she’s saying. Trish and Sasha work together. There’s no way she never met Acid and his club. Not with the way shit went down six months ago. Even if Sasha didn’t know Acid, we know Trish did.”
The reminder didn’t make me happy.
“Fine. Take her on the Devil’s Ride.”
“When?”
“Tonight.”
***
Sasha was spooked enough to spill everything she knew to Bodie. I sat back in church, listening to him as he filled everyone in.
“It seems Acid and the Scorpions haven’t been idle since all the shit went down at the Blacktop six months ago. We already suspect that he sent a narc to check out our MC, but I’ve got proof now. Acid, Dawg, and Zook kidnapped Sasha and planned to rape and kill her, le
aving her body for me to find. I’m positive they were gonna show up here at the Crossroads, but Sasha fought them off and escaped. They believed Suraya and Sasha were the same girl. I don’t think Acid realized that they were identical twins, at least not initially.”
Stunned expressions filled the faces of my brothers around the table. No one realized it, not even me. I was too consumed with Trish. There was so much shit going down that piece of crucial Intel slipped through the cracks.
“This is fuckin’ personal,” Bodie continued, “Acid has had it out for me and Grim for a long time. I believe he planned this for months in order to start a war between us and the Scorpions. He must have seen me with Suraya. Maybe he wanted her, maybe he just wanted to fuck with my head. I don’t know and it doesn’t matter now.”
“It fuckin’ matters, brother.” Patriot’s hard stare focused on Bodie and he nodded. “It always matters. That disrespect doesn’t go unpunished.”
Brothers always had each other’s back. Loyalty was part of our code and every single one of us followed it without regret or hesitation. The club was life. It was family.
Nothing ever came between the club and its members.
“Acid has been hitting our shipments, attacking our deliveries off and on for the last few weeks. Rael and I found a bunch of botched invoices. Sending that fuckin’ narc was the last straw.” Mammoth looked ready to spit nails he was so pissed. “This has to end. We need to respond. Now.”
“Agreed.” Rael ticked his head toward Grim. “We don’t let this slide, pres.”
I nodded. “The Royal Bastards aren’t taking any shit from the Scorpions. I got a call from a few of our brothers in other chapters. Acid isn’t the only one starting trouble.”
“He wants a war,” Hannibal growled low, “Then he’s got one.”
We made plans to draw out Acid and his club while dealing with our shipments and supplies. Shit was starting to escalate, and I knew it was only a matter of time before it got worse. That was the thing about MC life. Bullshit seemed to come in waves of stink. Felt like one thing after another for the last six months. If I was honest, nothing had really stopped since the day Keys died.