It was the custom for a close friend to chant the coups of the warrior or warriors involved in this special ceremony. White Antelope arose to relate the valiant deeds of Windrider. He added those obtained during Windrider’s battle with the Pawnee warriors, then took his seat. Many were astonished, even displeased, when Windrider arose and chanted his friend’s past deeds of glory. Many felt that since Bright Arrow had fallen into disgrace, only those coups earned since his rebirth should be chanted. Windrider added the coups Bright Arrow had earned since coming to the Cheyenne camp, then took his position at his friend’s side.
Windrider was given permission to relate his vision first. Again the Cheyenne warrior arose. “Grandfather says the Spirits of the sky will send a new woman to the tepee of Windrider. The stars, sun, and clouds will send signs to reveal her to me. She will show much courage. She will accept my people and help them in times of great pain and sadness. She will be guided to me by an act of great sacrifice to her. Grandfather says He has chosen her to be my mate.” He sat down without exposing her name or more information, for he believed the faceless vision of his next wife was Rebecca.
Bright Arrow stood up and mentally prepared himself to speak. “Grandfather sends ominous words to me. He says strange white men have entered our lands from where Wi awakens each day. He says they bring many soldiers and a strange black spirit with them. They carry many weapons. He says these white-eyes enter camps of our brothers; they give many presents to fool our brothers and friends. He says these men come to draw pictures of our lands; he says they call these pictures maps. He says they will mark where all tribes live; he says they will tell where hunting and sacred grounds are located, where rivers flow and mountains climb into the sky. He says these maps will be taken to the White Father, the leader who sends bluecoats to build wooden fences and tepees. He says they will tell all Indian secrets to whites far away. He says those whites will come and steal what is ours. He says the white-eyes claim this territory as theirs. He says bluecoats will use the evil maps to war against the Indian. He says I must dress as a white man and travel with them; He says I must watch them. He says I must destroy their maps and tell my people of their plans. He says I must leave in two moons. I must not return until I conquer these new enemies. When I return with news of their evil plans, my people will rejoice; they will allow me to return home in full honor. This is the command of my vision.”
Many inquisitive faces turned upward to stare at Bright Arrow. “Where do these white-eyes stay? How did they invade our lands?” asked Chief Yellow Robe, fully alert and straining to hear.
“Grandfather says they are in the camp of the Yankton, our Nakota brothers. There is a white man called Pierre Dorion, who lives with the Yankton. He is what the whites call French. He joined with a Yankton maiden many winters ago before their evil was known to us. He lives in their camp. I have traded with him. I will seek him as Clay Rivera, a half-white trader. He will take me to the whites called Lewis and Clark. I will join them as scout. I will steal their secrets and bring them home. They travel in big canoes on the muddy river that runs through our lands. They have many weapons.”
“Does this French white-eyes know you are the son of Gray Eagle?” White Antelope asked worriedly.
“The white-eyes do not know of my shame; only the Indian know of my banishment. They will not see a Sioux warrior in a man with short hair and white garments. A white-eyes named Joseph Garreau, who lives with the Arikara, called me half-Spanish, half-Crow. Long ago, I took the life and name of a Spanish trapper. I speak their tongue and know their ways. All whites are fooled by this mask. I will find no danger, my friend,” he assured White Antelope.
“What will Bright Arrow do if he is captured?” another asked.
He sat straight and proud, vowing without hesitation, “I will hold my tongue silent. I will die as a Sioux warrior.”
“Will you take your white woman to help on this mission?” an older warrior inquired.
Bright Arrow never faltered before replying, “No. My family will remain in Windrider’s tepee. He will protect them and supply their needs. I cannot travel as scout with a family. The soldiers bring no women on their journey.”
Shooting Star queried, “What of this black spirit? Will he not guess your plans? Is he of great power and magic?”
“Grandfather says I will not fear him. Grandfather says I am stronger and braver. He is trapped in a man’s body with black skin. He behaves as one wild in the head. His magic will not harm me. Grandfather says to be careful of the white leader with flaming hair.”
The shaman probed, “Do you fear the power of these whites?”
“No, I fear no white-eyes,” Bright Arrow stated confidently. “I only fear what harm they bring to my people and brothers. I must follow Grandfather’s message. I am not afraid to battle many enemies. I am not afraid to give my life for my people.”
When no more questions were asked, Yellow Robe said, “If you do not return, my people will chant your courage and honor. Go with our prayers for your safety and victory.”
The rest of the council nodded agreement with their chief’s words. Windrider declared, “I will ride with you many moons. When you are near the place Grandfather revealed in your quest, I will return to my people. I will protect your family with my life.”
Windrider and Bright Arrow exchanged looks which intimated some secret between them. The council meeting ended; all returned to their own tepees. The hour was late, and most were asleep. When the two warriors returned to Windrider’s tepee, they immediately noticed that Rebecca was not on her sleeping mat. A drowsy Sucoora informed them she was walking to relieve her tension.
Bright Arrow glanced at Windrider and sighed heavily. He couldn’t face her with his dismaying news. He asked Windrider to go find her. It was dangerous for her to be out alone in the dark; enemies had been known to sneak into camps and steal possessions or take captives. The Sioux warrior went to his mat and lay down, placing one arm over his stinging eyes. He couldn’t believe he was going to lose her and wondered how he would ever accept that agonizing fact. Far worse than losing her was imagining her in the arms and life of another man. He wished he could close out such images, but he could not. When he had left the wilds, he had known there was a possibility of exchanging her for his return. Yet he had never really believed it would happen. He almost wished they were back in the cabin, with him trying harder to live in her world. There was a tightness in his chest and a burning in his eyes as he raged at why he could not have both his love and his destiny. He was torn between wanting her to accept this decision and wanting her to resist it with all her might.
Bright Arrow’s mind raced up and down many paths, finding each one covered with obstacles that inflicted wounds. He pondered his love’s recent actions and behavior. Perhaps Rebecca had glimpsed the future in some magical dream. Perhaps that was why she had ridden to his camp, to anger him into pushing her aside. She had pointed out their freedom, their lack of marriage bonds. She had refused to make love to him; she had tried to turn him to the mats of other women. Even though they had lived together for years without marriage, she had refused to continue in that way in his camp; she had said marriage or nothing. Why wasn’t she willing to have him in any way possible? And she had not refused or resisted the idea of Windrider taking his place! She had traveled with his friend for days. They had shared many times together while he was busy training. Did she desire Windrider more than him? Had he lost her even before the vision quest? Had she somehow sensed what Grandfather would say and been planning her new life and love? Did she merely want him to be the one to sever their union? Had she been giving him reasons to force their separation before he experienced more suffering, before Grandfather and his tribe ordered him to discard her? Even if such things were true, he couldn’t blame her. After all, he agreed with her choice of a new mate, since that staggering reality could no longer be avoided. The signs and messages were all there, and he had to accept them. He had prayed for
guidance and answers, but not these… no, not these.
Windrider observed Bright Arrow, comprehending his anguish and the demands that had been placed on his friend. He prayed that his part in all of this was justified. As he left the tepee to seek Rebecca, he asked himself just how much he should reveal to her. He was glad he had not mentioned Rebecca in the words he had spoken during Bright Arrow’s vision quest, and he was relieved that he had nothing to do with Bright Arrow’s belief that she did not belong in his life-circle anymore. His friend had actually encouraged him to pursue Rebecca! His vision about a new life was true, and the faceless woman was surely Rebecca. It had to be true for he had not influenced Bright Arrow against his woman, though he had been sorely tempted…
Chapter Twelve
Bright Arrow’s defensive attitude and secretive behavior were driving the bewildered and vulnerable Rebecca into Windrider’s eager arms. It seemed to her that Bright Arrow had already admitted defeat in the battle to keep her, for it was as if he were attempting to force her from his heart and arms to spare himself the ordeal of publicly discarding her. He made it appear that she was no longer a part of his life, that she had nothing further to do with his affairs. He had cruelly shut the door between them, without explaining his motives or timing. Did he want it ended so simply, so quickly, so thoroughly? He certainly couldn’t have made his rejection any clearer. What more did he want—for her to end their union, to save him the trouble and guilt?
Rebecca strolled along the riverbank, the moonlight glowing on her chestnut curls. Dejection and concern marked her golden brown eyes. If Bright Arrow loved her, she wondered, why wouldn’t he fight for her? If he loved her, how could he casually hand her over to another man? If he loved her, why wasn’t he agonizing over her loss? If he loved her, why was he leaving when they had so little time left together? If he loved her, why was he keeping it a secret? Couldn’t he share his vision quest and his decisions and his plans? It wasn’t fair that she was suffering alone in this cold and empty world of silence.
If he had ever loved her, how could he end their relationship in this brutal manner? How could he so easily betray and spurn her? Could he truly ride away without saying farewell? If he had ever loved her, why—
Windrider severed her torturous line of thought. “Why do you stand alone in the dark, Rebecca?” he asked.
“I needed some fresh air. I needed to think,” she responded, turning to face him. Who was this complex and tempting man who had been thrust into her life? Why was Bright Arrow being taken from her? How could she stop this mad whirl?
“What thoughts cause such sadness in your eyes and heart?” he inquired, raising her chin to peer into her haunted tawny gaze.
“Why do you and Bright Arrow refuse to tell me of your vision quests? Why have you two behaved so strangely since returning? You two treat me as if I don’t exist. You plan to leave, and you will not say why or where,” she complained.
“While you are his woman, it is not right for me to reveal Bright Arrow’s vision. Until you are my woman, I must not reveal mine. It is our way. Do not be sad or afraid,” he replied tenderly.
“As far as he’s concerned, I’m no longer his woman!” Rebecca declared fiercely. “Don’t you understand, Windrider? It’s my life, too. Surely I have the right to know what’s happening to change it? If you love me, why can’t you trust me?” she challenged. In rising frustration, she scoffed, “Must I also seek a vision to learn which path I should take? Perhaps Grandfather will end everybody’s trouble by striking me dead for such an offense!” she declared sarcastically.
Windrider seized her and roughly shook her. “Do not speak such dangerous words!” he ordered sternly. “Hear me with your head, not your heart, my love. You cannot change Grandfather’s commands. We must obey them. Do not interfere,” he admonished. “Bright Arrow must go away for many suns. When he returns, he will speak his heart and mind to you. He will take the children and return to his people.”
Rebecca wondered how much Bright Arrow had confided in this man. To entice information from him she said, “He speaks his heart and mind each day, Windrider. I’m not a hunter, but I can follow a marked trail and such bold clues. In his heart and mind, he has already rejected me. Soon his words will match his thoughts and feelings. I don’t know why he hesitates to confess the truth. It would be simpler and kinder for all concerned if he made his feelings and intentions known.”
She sighed loudly, weary and depressed. “Bright Arrow will ask permission to keep me, but I can tell he thinks it’s useless. He knows how his people feel about me, about all whites; he knows how the council will vote. He’s admitted it to himself and accepted the inevitable, so why does he continue to pretend with us? He said if the council refuses my presence and our joining, he wants me to live in the Cheyenne camp… in your tepee.”
Rebecca looked up at the attentive warrior who had such warmth and tenderness displayed on his handsome face. Tears dampened her eyes. She wished she did love Windrider; she wished he had been the one to take her captive, preventing her from ever knowing Bright Arrow and the anguish he was causing her. She wished this tormenting triangle didn’t exist. In a strained voice, she confessed, “He no longer speaks of love or desire. He only speaks of returning home. It’s all that matters to him. He doesn’t seek my presence. He doesn’t wish to talk with me. He avoids me as much as he can. Are those the actions of a man who loves me and needs me, who suffers over my loss? No,” she answered herself in a near whisper.
Throwing restraint to the winds, she disclosed brazenly, “He hasn’t made love to me but once since Mother Earth renewed her face. You have touched me more times than he has. You have spoken more words of love and desire. You have been kinder to me. You’ve shared words with me. You make me laugh and smile. You make me feel worthy. You make me feel loved and desired. You have taken the stinging pain from his betrayal and rejection. I know what words he will speak when he returns. He will say it is over between us; he will say our life-circles can no longer touch. If you do not change your mind or feelings, when those words leave his mouth, I will come to you as your woman.”
Windrider’s heart drummed swiftly, for he sensed sweet victory within his powerful grasp. How he wished this waiting were ended! “I will ride with Bright Arrow for many suns. Then I will leave his side and return home. He must ride for many more suns and seek his quest alone. I will return and make you sing and smile. Soon only Windrider will live in your heart and mind. You will fill my heart and life with joy. I have loved no woman but Rebecca,” he vowed in honesty.
Windrider gingerly reached for her, fearing Rebecca would resist his touch. She did not, for she needed his comfort and protection. She needed him to remove Bright Arrow’s crushing presence from her mind. In light of Bright Arrow’s withdrawal and rejection, she needed Windrider’s closeness and commitment. She felt so alone, so vulnerable, so out of control, so dispensable. His arms closed around her protectively, and he rested his cheek on the top of her head. He hungered for her lips and her body, but more, he hungered for her pain to cease. Her face was smooth and warm against his chest, and her hot teardrops burned his flesh as they slid down his muscled torso to his waist and were absorbed by his garment.
“It is hard to slay love and sever bonds to another,” he remarked knowingly, with a sensitivity that touched her. “The pain will flee on a new sun. You will forget Bright Arrow. Windrider will be patient and gentle. He will wait for you to come to him. Windrider’s love is strong and true; it will never betray you. It will never bring tears to your eyes or pain to your heart. This Windrider promises Rebecca.”
Rebecca shifted demurely, breaking his hold. She looked up at him. How she wished those words and emotions were coming from the sensual lips and passionate heart of Bright Arrow. Despite their problems and the dangers, she wished she and Bright Arrow were still in the wilderness cabin. How she longed for one more chance to free him of his haunting past and to make their defiant love work. As much as
it hurt to think it, such words and feelings probably would never come from Bright Arrow again. Her heartache was stifling, strangling. She needed to be held tightly and possessively. She needed love and consideration. She needed to be kissed hungrily and passionately. She needed reviving emotions to erase her suffering, to fill her thoughts, to rekindle her spirit. She needed new hope, new life, new vitality. Windrider was offering all these things that Bright Arrow had taken from her, things that he denied her at a time when she needed them most.
Rebecca’s hands clasped Windrider’s neck and pulled his face downward. She wanted to show her appreciation and affection, her gratitude. She feared she might lose him too if she weren’t cautious. In order that he await her choice and her freedom, he also needed hope and consideration. He needed to know that he wasn’t fighting a losing battle. She raised herself on her tiptoes and fused her lips to his. Windrider’s arms encircled her back as his mouth urgently responded to hers. They stood entwined beneath the moonlight, savoring sweet kisses and embraces, each offering encouragement and blissful pleasure to the other. Windrider shuddered, but tightly leashed his potent desires.
Neither saw the Sioux warrior who abruptly halted his approach, then stared at the plaguing scene before his stunned senses. Bright Arrow had begun to suffer guilt and shame for directing Windrider to seek his woman, but, until a few moments before, he had not been able to summon the courage to do so himself. But now only fury and jealousy raged through his body. He wanted to race forward and yank them apart—yet the soft aura surrounding them prevented him. He could say or do nothing, for he had encouraged each to seek the other. But must they respond so hastily and fiercely? he asked inwardly. He told himself he should feel relief that his racking problem over Rebecca was solved, and he should feel joy that his beloved and his friend had discovered and helped each other. He did not. He could not even allow his mind to dwell on a union that could torment him so. He had compelled them into each other’s arms, and it appeared too late to alter the situation. Hanging his head in anguish and sadness, he soundlessly returned to Windrider’s tepee. He gathered the seeds of fury that had escaped his loose grasp, for he could not allow them to take root and grow. He wasn’t perfect! He was only a man—a man who could make mistakes, a man who could take a wrong trail. He was not all-knowing and allpowerful like the Great Spirit. Now he would pay for his recklessness and weakness, for his flaws and mistakes.
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