The man shrugged, replying, “Most women survive such an injury.”
Windrider prayed that Bright Arrow would rush to her side. She would need him. If he didn’t arrive to share this crucial time with her, he dreaded to imagine what it would do to their love. Too many times Fate had kept Bright Arrow from being by her side when Rebecca needed him the most. Would she understand and accept another rejection?
The Blackfeet brave rode slowly toward the Oglala camp. His journey would cause more damage and pain. He was a heyoka, a “contrary.” A heyoka was a warrior who had experienced a vision of thunder. Such a warrior could not refuse his destiny as a “contrary,” which demanded that he do everything backward and opposite. To answer affirmatively, he must respond negatively. To get him to act in a certain way, one had to ask the reverse of the desired behavior or deed. “Go” meant “stay,” and “stay” meant “go.” This often-confusing conduct ruled his life. Such men were accepted and many were revered. Heyokas were considered brave and daring warriors. No one laughed at them, to their faces or behind their backs.
Windrider had not realized that Thunder Head was a Heyoka when he had asked the Blackfeet warrior for assistance. He had been too upset and frantic to see that the man was dirty because he “bathed” in dust, not water. He had been unaware that the man wore his garments inside out. He had failed to notice that the man moved backward toward his tepee, for Windrider had already turned to reenter the medicine lodge.
Thunder Head did the opposite of what had been requested. He rode slowly rather than swiftly. He recalled Windrider’s message, so he could reverse the words and follow the man’s odd instructions. He would speak with Gray Eagle, not his son. He would say Rebecca was well, not ill. He would say she was safe, not injured. He would say she didn’t wish to come home to him. He would say she didn’t want him to come after her. He would say she didn’t love Bright Arrow or wish to see him. He would say she was in the Crow camp. He would say she wanted to remain there. He would say an enemy sent these words to Gray Eagle. Thunder Head could not understand why Windrider was sending such strange and dishonest words to another warrior, but he had been paid well to deliver the deceitful message. Perhaps there was some reason for this game, these lies. It was not for him to intrude. He would swear his words were truthful. The statements from Windrider would be transformed into exact opposites of their meanings, as was expected and demanded of a heyoka.
When Rebecca regained consciousness, she was taken to Chief Medicine Bear’s tepee. She would remain there and be tended carefully until Bright Arrow came for her. She was depressed by the loss of another child, and her spirits brightened only when Windrider told her he had sent for Bright Arrow. He told her to rest and heal, that all would be good again. She closed her eyes and surrendered to needed sleep.
A few days later, a Cheyenne warrior galloped into camp to beg for help from his Blackfeet brothers. He was relieved to find Windrider there. He quickly told Windrider of savage attacks on their camp by Pawnee raiding parties. He reassured Windrider that Bonnie was safe and was being guarded by White Antelope. Windrider didn’t want to upset Rebecca with such alarming news; instead, he went to her and told her he was riding home to check on his family and tribe. He assured her he would return as soon as possible to make certain Bright Arrow had arrived safely. Knowing he had to leave with further delay, he told her not to worry and to get well quickly.
Rebecca hugged him. She thanked him once more for saving her life. “I’ll be fine, Windrider. You’ve done so much for me. Tell Bonnie I think of her each day. Tell her I wish you both much happiness. You don’t need to return here. Just marry Bonnie and begin a new life. You two can visit me in the Oglala camp,” she stated wistfully.
Windrider didn’t want to give away Bright Arrow’s good news about her acceptance, so he kept silent. She would know very soon, for surely Bright Arrow was responding to his message. He kissed her lightly on the forehead and departed.
Four days passed without word or sign of Bright Arrow. Her concern deepened over his delay, especially when she was told that Thunder Head had returned to camp after delivering Windrider’s message. She wondered why her love hadn’t raced to her side. Singing Wind, the nine-year-old daughter of Chela and Brave Bear, was delighted to wait upon Bright Arrow’s woman. She was a pretty, strong-willed child, and Rebecca had no way of knowing that one day Singing Wind would play a major role in the life of Sun Cloud and Bright Arrow.
Five more days passed. Rebecca’s fears and doubts increased. She asked Singing Wind to go see Thunder Head, to make certain he had talked with Bright Arrow, to make certain her beloved was alive and well. She sent questions about the enemy raids on the camp. The child raced to carry out this important mission for her new friend. When she returned to Rebecca’s mat, she smiled and informed her that Bright Arrow had been in his father’s tepee and that he had heard Thunder Head’s words. He said the enemies had been driven off the Sioux lands. Singing Wind didn’t tell Rebecca how much she enjoyed the word games with Thunder Head, as it was evil to laugh over such matters.
Rebecca was recovering rapidly. She could get up and walk for short periods. Her weakness was fading gradually. Medicine Bear, his wife, family, and the Blackfeet tribe members were kind and friendly toward her. She ate, rested, exercised, and slept for many more days. This routine, and Singing Wind’s childish encouragement had a favorable effect on her health. It had been almost three weeks since her fall and miscarriage, yet it seemed ages ago to her. She was nervous and miserable. She was tired of lying around and waiting for something to happen. She knew she had to face reality—if Bright Arrow had not come by now, he was never coming. She had to make some plans. The weather had turned cold and damp; the sky hinted at snow any day now. Tears burned her eyes as she mentally rationalized, Better to be trapped here for the winter than in the Crow camp!
In the winter camp of the Oglala, Bright Arrow stared moodily into space. He was wearing leggings, breechclout, knee moccasins, and vest. A bow and quiver of arrows were slung over his shoulder; he was supposedly hunting. He didn’t notice the chill on his flesh as he walked in solitary silence around the black rock formations, spooking several deer and rabbits, which he ignored. He and his fellow warriors had finally driven off their enemies and moved their camp from the Plains to the base of the Black Hills. In sheltered canyons, there was winter grass to feed the horses and towering boulders and cliffs to block the worst of the harsh weather. All appeared peaceful; all were ready to face the demands of nature—all but Bright Arrow.
White Arrow and Flaming Star had returned to the camp the day before. Rebecca was not with them. They told of finding a white man’s decaying body near the old Crow camp; they spoke of signs of a woman’s presence. They had found severed bonds and Rebecca’s tattered dress—ominous signs. They had sneaked toward the Crow camp, only to discover it had been moved for the winter. The Crow were too far ahead of them for pursuit. They had no choice but to call off their frantic search. There was nothing more they could do this winter. They apologized for their failure to locate and rescue her, but they had done their best. They had searched for weeks without victory. They sadly told him he had to face and accept the staggering reality. If Rebecca was with the Crow, she was lost to him, at least for now.
When Bright Arrow described the visit from Thunder Head, Flaming Star disputed the man’s message. “It is not so, Bright Arrow. I have seen the love in her eyes for my brother. If she sends such words, it is to stop my brother from riding into a trap to save her. You must not lose hope, my brother and friend. She is your woman. When the snows melt and the Crow return to their summer camp, we will find her and bring her home. We will seek vengeance for this deed.”
Bright Arrow was lonely and distressed. Even if he could track his enemies’ cold trail, he reflected, how could he get her out of camp alive and uninjured? Surely the Crow would be watching and waiting for him. This was a large territory. His foes could be camped anywhere. Where s
hould he look? How could he search with winter breathing coldly on his neck and offering a perilous journey? As much as he loved her, was he willing to sacrifice his life on a rash and surely futile venture? And yet, could he do nothing? He was plagued by helplessness. For three days, he grieved for her as if she were dead.
Shalee observed her son’s dilemma and his misery, and she asked, “Why do you punish yourself this way, my son? If you love her and cannot exist without her, go after her,” she reluctantly advised. “Grandfather will guide your feet and watch over you. Why do you accept Thunder Head’s words so easily and blindly? Who told him such things? If the Crow have vanished, where did he get such words? How does he know they are true?” she reasoned cleverly, earnestly.
Bright Arrow straightened. His eyes glittered with new life. Was he a fool? A blind weakling? A defeated man? Why hadn’t he asked himself such questions? Where were his wits? He needed more answers! “On the new sun, I will ride to the Blackfeet camp. I will know such things before three moons have passed. She is mine, and I will save her. You will not see me until I find her, or at least know the truth.”
Just after dawn the next morning, two people rode away to seek answers—Rebecca toward the Cheyenne camp and Bright Arrow toward the Blackfeet camp. Rebecca had decided to question Windrider about Bright Arrow and his recent words and behavior. She was going to beg for his assistance in winning back her love. She couldn’t give Bright Arrow up without a desperate fight. Medicine Bear loaned her a horse and two braves for protection. She had learned that the Cheyenne had moved their camp near the northeastern base of the Black Hills, and knew she could reach it within two days. There she would demand answers and help!
Two days later, Rebecca turned the horse over to the Blackfeet braves and thanked them for their protection along the trail. The two men rode away. Rebecca inhaled deeply, summoning her courage. She walked towards the colorful tepee with Windrider’s coups painted on the outside. She hoped he would understand and forgive her intrusion.
In the Blackfeet camp, Bright Arrow was receiving unexpected and startling news. He spoke with Thunder Head once more, demanding to know who had sent the message to him. He learned it was from Windrider and Rebecca, and from this very camp! He wondered how that was possible.
He was impatient with the man’s contradictory speech. He wanted the facts immediately and clearly. When he discovered that Rebecca had been carrying a child and had lost it, he couldn’t understand why she hadn’t shared such happy news with him. What possible reason could she have had to withhold the fact he was going to be a father for a fourth time, especially after they had lost Moon Eyes? He discovered that she had been traveling with Windrider and that the Cheyenne warrior had been called home during a crisis. As soon as Rebecca had recovered, she had ridden after Windrider, instead of coming to him! He asked himself why. Harsh suspicions began breeding in his warring mind. He didn’t like the way these clues and facts were mounting against his love and his friend.
Bright Arrow glared at the “contrary,” trying to pick the truth from his converse statements. Consternation racked his brain. He was too tense and tormented to unravel this mystery, and fury kindled within him toward Windrider and Rebecca. If they had been this close, why hadn’t Windrider come for him? he asked himself. Why hadn’t she come home after healing? How had she gotten away from the Crow? When? Why would they send him such a devious and tormenting message? He feared he had been tricked. She had not summoned him to her side! She had not told him about the child. She had gone to Windrider for comfort and love! Anguish and mistrust chewed at his heart and mind.
How could she betray him, torment him, desert him? She had not waited for the council’s vote. If she had asked Windrider about it, then she knew of their favorable answer. Unless Windrider had deceived her… Was it possible that Windrider was determined to have her? Was it possible she had been tricked, deluded? In her state of mind, after her many ordeals, perhaps she wasn’t thinking clearly. Was his friend luring her away from him? Did Windrider hope to make it appear she was choosing his friend over him? All warriors knew it would show weakness to race after a woman and beg her to return home. When a wife left her mate, he was expected to retain his pride and courage. He was expected to let her go without a fuss or outward show of grief and sadness. He was not to pursue her, or fight over her, or expose any regret over her loss.
Bright Arrow considered all he knew. He couldn’t lose a woman like Rebecca without knowing why, and he didn’t care what others said or thought. She was his by first right! She was his by a willing commitment of love! She couldn’t toss away what they had between them without a good reason! She owed him an explanation! She owed him a farewell! If it were a trick, he would slay the traitor who called himself friend!
Bright Arrow was on the trail early the next morning. He debated the possibilities over and over in his mind. Many times he almost turned back, but he couldn’t. Perhaps he was to blame for losing her. He had to fight for her, or forever regret her loss. There had to be an answer for them and an answer to this puzzling mystery. Too many times he had placed her in danger, danger that someone else had overcome in his place. Too many times he had hurt her and disappointed her. He had spent so much time, energy, and effort on others’ problems, seemingly to ignoring theirs. If she had chosen Windrider, she would have to convince him it was for love. Only then would he accept her decision.
As he rode along, he reflected on Sun Cloud’s rescue and his battles with the Crow and Pawnee to defend his camp. He pondered Rebecca’s impulsive decision to go to Spirit Mound to prove her value and courage to his people. He did not know she had not left the Yankton camp willingly to head to the Mound. If she didn’t love him, why would she risk such danger and evil? He recalled what she had done for the Cheyenne during that terrible time of sickness and death. She was a rare creature, a special woman, a beautiful one.
He had made peace with his tribe. He had regained his honor and rank. He had accepted the fact that Sun Cloud would become the next Oglala chief, not him. All he wanted was to be a warrior, to live with his family and people, and to have Rebecca. Only then could he enjoy real peace, love, and honor. Was this too much to expect from life? Was this being too greedy and selfish?
In the Cheyenne camp, Rebecca and Bonnie were talking. “Do you think Windrider can make him understand?” Bonnie asked sadly. She hated to see her friend so miserable and lonely.
“I’m afraid to hope and pray for something that might not happen, Bonnie. I’m the one who doesn’t understand. This isn’t like Bright Arrow. Why didn’t he come to me in the Blackfeet camp? I know he’s not wounded or away on some critical mission. Even if he’s still helping to battle their enemies, he could take time to come after me, couldn’t he? It doesn’t require nearly a month to make a two-day ride—not after what I’ve been through!” she exploded angrily from anguish and confusion. “My God, he didn’t even search for me after he got the news of my kidnapping! If it hadn’t been for Windrider…” Her voice trailed off and she shuddered.
“Something must be wrong, Rebecca. I can’t believe he would turn his back on you. We’ve got to wait until Windrider returns. Then we’ll know why Bright Arrow’s behaving this way.”
Rebecca smiled at Bonnie. “You’re happy with Windrider, aren’t you?” she asked unnecessarily, for Bonnie’s face was a mirror of love.
“I haven’t told him yet, but I think I’m—” She instantly halted her statement, recalling Rebecca’s recent miscarriage.
Her hand had gone to her abdomen in a loving caress, alerting Rebecca to the truth as well as to why Bonnie hesitated. She smiled at her blue-eyed friend. “It’s all right, Bonnie. I didn’t have time to get used to the baby; I didn’t even know I was pregnant. I hope this doesn’t sound awful, but it’s hard to miss something that doesn’t seem real. Maybe the Blackfeet shaman was wrong. Maybe I just hurt myself when I fell. I have to believe it wasn’t meant to be. Don’t spoil your joy. I’m sure Windrider
will be ecstatic.”
“You think so?” she murmured optimistically.
“I’m positive. I can just imagine a new Windrider with blue eyes. He’ll be a collector of young girls’ hearts— Indian and white,” she teased to lighten her gloomy mood. Even though she was miserable, she wouldn’t spoil the joy and peace of her friends. She was honestly happy for them.
They shared laughter. “Do you know how good it feels to be safe, to be smiling and laughing? For a while there, I thought I would die a horrible death. I’ve never met any man so evil and cruel as Billy Culpepper, and I knew I couldn’t become a Crow slave.” Tears dampened Rebecca’s lashes. “I don’t know what I’ll do if Bright Arrow doesn’t return with Windrider. I’m so frightened, Bonnie,” she confessed nervously.
“He will, Rebecca.” Bonnie sought to ease her fears and doubts, though the younger woman fretted over his inexplicable and cruel behavior toward her friend. She hoped Windrider would bring Bright Arrow back to settle matters with Rebecca—for selfish and unselfish reasons. Sucoora had become the wife of White Antelope, and Bonnie wanted to be alone with her love. Yet she longed for Rebecca’s joy and peace.
With agonizing sincerity, Rebecca replied, “I’m not so sure, Bonnie. Bright Arrow’s changed so much this last year. He’s been so contradictory and bewildering. Now that he’s back with his people and a skilled warrior once more, he might not want me to complicate his life and emotions any more. Besides…” she began, then blushed and halted.
Besides, what?” Bonnie entreated.
“You know how men are about their women. What if he thinks I’ve been… abused by that terrible Billy Culpepper? What if he thinks I was ravished by Crow before Windrider rescued me? The Sioux despise the Crow. Who knows, maybe he’s suffering from bruised pride or false suspicions about me and Windrider. I have no idea what he’s thinking or feeling,” she declared in frustration and dismay.
Stolen Ecstasy Page 42