by Linda Jacobs
Looking the other way and stomaching the nausea lasted a bare month.
Jay had breezed in at one-thirty a.m., smelling of Obsession and musk. That he lacked the garden variety respect to shower before coming home turned a key in the box she’d locked her feelings in.
“You want to go to her, then go!” Clare shouted.
Without hesitation, Jay roared, “If that’s what you want, you’ve got it.”
They stared at each other. Her pulse leaped at her temples while a vein in his forehead throbbed. She waited for his expression to soften, for him to take it back.
His footsteps sounded loud on the hardwood floors as he went back and forth to the garage. Devon crept down the stairs, her cotton nightdress flowing like Cinderella’s gown, golden hair the color Clare had seen in Jay’s childhood pictures, spread wild over her shoulders.
When Jay came out of the bedroom with a load of shirts on hangers, Devon clasped his arm with both hands. “No, Daddy!”
Jay shoved his daughter away. “Someday you’ll understand.”
All Clare understood after nearly five years was that she was alone, trying to raise her daughter as best she could, while Jay built his second wife a million dollar house. The contacts he’d made through Elyssa’s developer father had made him wealthy. Since it happened after the divorce, the judge had not seen fit to raise the child support.
Clare pushed to her feet in the waiting room and dumped her coffee in the trash. Once more, she searched for Steve Haywood, finding the room with the correct number vacant. Upon learning that he’d checked out without permission, she felt a stab of concern. She tried to comfort herself with how many times she’d transported someone and never learned his or her fate.
That was the norm. You used the Jaws of Life to open a car roof like a can of tuna, stabilized and packaged a young woman. On the jerky ride through Houston streets, you started an IV, noting the wide gold wedding band on her left hand. When she had trouble breathing, you started bag ventilating. At the ER, you stood by until the gurney smacked open the swinging doors and they took her into a treatment room. You stood hugging yourself and sent a little prayer down that hallway. And one for the husband whose phone would ring as soon as her wallet was searched for ID.
Then you walked away.
Today, Clare couldn’t shake the memory of Steve Haywood’s troubled gray eyes.
CHAPTER FOUR
July 26
Garrett Anderson towered over Clare as the heavyset fire general’s hand engulfed hers. She’d arrived a few minutes early for their meeting in West Yellowstone and seen him on the lawn as she parked her rental car on the street.
“Hear you had a bit of excitement yesterday,” he offered.
“You might say that.” She forced a smile, along with the signature casual tone of the fire fraternity.
“Are our mountain lakes a bit more refreshing than your blood warm Gulf of Mexico?” The tinge of Atlanta in his voice was even more pronounced in person than on the Motorola.
Her smile turned genuine. “You’re no more used to forty-five degree water than I am.”
“Don’t bet on it,” he chuckled. “I’ve been in Boise seven years.”
Clare was still getting acquainted with Garrett, having seen him only twice before. Buddy Simpson at A & M had warned her that beneath the deceptively soft-looking physique and laid-back manner was a man of steel.
Together, they approached the headquarters of the newly created Greater Yellowstone Unified Area Command, set up in what had once been the Union Pacific Railroad’s dining hall. At the end of the rail line to the park, late nineteenth-century tourists had been served on Limoges china while waiting to catch stagecoaches into Yellowstone.
Thirty-foot rock chimneys flanked both ends of the hundred-foot long construction of stone and weathered wood. Great walls of windows lined the sides. Behind, ravens strutted in an area that appeared to have been the railroad right-of-way, now devoid of tracks.
Garrett got to business. “Welcome to another level of fire management bureaucracy. You know I’m Forest Service, out of the Boise Interagency Fire Center. Our partner agencies include National Parks, Office of Aircraft Services, Bureau of Indian Affairs, Fish and Wildlife, and the National Weather Service.” Buddy had told Clare that Garrett was one of less than twenty Incident Commanders in the country, calling the plays in a military style organization.
“So where does this Unified Area Command fit in?” She paused on the stairs flanked by elegant rock walls leading up to incongruous modern wire mesh doors.
“Starting today, the National Park Service and Forest Service are to coordinate over the park and surrounding areas. They’ve put me in charge.” Garrett rolled his expressive eyes. “But I expect I’ll be acting more as referee with those two groups.”
Clare had not realized how influential Buddy’s friend in wildfire was.
Garrett reached for the door and held it open for her. “I’ll show you the latest fire extents map.”
Something dark in his tone made her say, “I have a feeling I’m not going to like it.”
In the doorway, they stepped aside to make way for two young men carrying a metal desk.
Inside, an empty vaulted room with pine beams ran the width of the building. Their footsteps echoed on the scuffed pine floor that bore the dusty prints of the movers. Garrett led the way through a pair of metal swinging doors that looked out of place in the otherwise rustic room.
A dramatic staircase led down into a larger space that had once been the main dining room for travelers at Yellowstone’s western gateway. Looking at the soaring space, however, gave Clare the impression of a symphony played by a tone-deaf orchestra. The fireplace had been boarded up, cheap fluorescent fixtures hung from the ceiling, and squares of speckled tan linoleum covered the floor.
More movers shuffled in with furniture. A woman from the phone company clasped cables together with ties.
Garrett rubbed his bald head that bore the sheen of old mahogany and led Clare to a large mounted mosaic of topographic quadrangle maps. Clear plastic overlaid Yellowstone and the area surrounding it, with the extent of the burned areas outlined in black marker.
“The Yellowstone fires have increased tenfold, from eighty-six hundred acres to eighty-seven thousand in the past week.” Garrett’s thick finger pointed out the largest burn of nearly fifty thousand acres in the unpopulated eastern highlands of the Absaroka Mountains. “The Mist and Clover fires started July ninth and eleventh and burned together on the twenty-second.” He moved his hand west. “Our problem now is the North Fork. It’s heading for Old Faithful.”
She studied the oblong streak that began about ten miles due south of West Yellowstone and stretched in a northeasterly curve.
“Started four days ago,” Garrett went on. “Some loggers took a cigarette break in the Targhee National Forest, not three hundred yards from the park boundary. With Old Faithful and Madison in its path, we’ll have one helluva battle.”
“And no rain in sight,” she added.
He nodded. “That’s the worst news.” With a gesture toward the map, he said, “I wanted you to see this. With your background training firefighters, I’ll need you to teach the military that will be brought in.”
She’d suspected when she left Texas that her instructor experience might be brought into play. Now that she’d seen the Shoshone rear like a cobra, she wondered what she could bring to the picture. “What makes you think soldiers will be needed? The policy is to not to fight the fires inside the park.”
“The Yellowstone Superintendent has suspended the natural burn policy. We’re to put ‘em all out.” His tone rang with finality.
She looked at the command center, imagining it full of workers relaying information on weather, manpower, and terrain, deploying everything from helicopters to toilet paper.
Garrett’s eyes moved from the fire map to meet hers. Broken blood vessels marred the whites of his, suggesting that the fire season w
as already taking its toll on his sleep. “When we bring in green troops, it’ll be your job to see that nobody gets killed.”
Clare’s chest tightened. She thought of a child burned to death, or if perverse fortune had smiled, overcome by smoke before flames reached him. Little Pham Nguyen had not yet turned three. And Frank … better to think of his Jane receiving the folded flag and the bugler sounding “Taps” than to keep replaying the events of July 1. When she was awake she had some choice, but at night …
Garrett ignored a ringing phone and awaited her answer.
If he knew she’d seen a firefighter down so recently, maybe he’d think twice about trusting her. But Buddy Simpson at A & M had relied on her to supervise training the week after Frank was buried. A good friend and mentor, Buddy had stuck his neck out recommending her to Garrett, one of the top Incident Commanders in the nation.
She straightened her back. “You can count on me.”
Outside Fire Command, Clare was surprised to find pilot Chris Deering lounging on the rock stair railing. Jeans and a T-shirt advertising Lava Hot Springs, Idaho, accentuated his slim frame. “I thought I saw you go in here.”
“If it isn’t the downed aviator.” She brushed back her hair from where it had fallen over her forehead. “Are you all right?”
The white look beneath his tan had disappeared since she had seen him at the hospital yesterday, but the bruise on his cheek was livid. Although the sun shone full on his face, he reached to take off his mirrored sunglasses. “My pride is in tatters. I’m fine as ever.” Dark eyes flicked over her. A speculative glance at the front placket of her yellow Nomex shirt, a swift perusal of her cinched up olive fire pants, and his attention returned to her face.
She leaned back beside him against the rail. He was tall for a pilot, having nearly a foot on her five-three. Across the dry-looking lawn and a potholed parking lot, another rustic stone structure, the old Union Pacific Railway Station, was not nearly as interesting as she pretended.
Since Jay had gone, she’d hated the cheap feeling of being on the market. Once, she’d gone to one of those Houston singles bars on lower Westheimer. The guy who’d hit on her expected she wanted the same thing as he, a quickie at a chain motel. Even if she’d been into sex with somebody she’d barely met, she would have discounted that loser as married. Further forays in the dating world had confirmed that if a guy was halfway interesting, she could bet her back teeth there was a wife or long-term gal in the picture.
Deering continued to lounge, but she detected an awareness in him as he tossed off, “Where you staying?”
“I’ve got an employee cabin at Old Faithful.”
“That’s a forty mile drive,” Deering observed. “You ought to stay here in town like I do.”
“Old Faithful is central to my work.” She avoided his eyes by glancing toward the motels, restaurants and souvenir shops on the opposite side of the wide street. False fronts gave the impression of a Wild West town.
Following her gaze, Deering said, “Did you know that the streets were built this wide so a horse and stagecoach could turn around in them?”
“Hadn’t heard that.”
“Have you been in the Bear Pit Bar at Old Faithful?” His hand traced the arc of the metal rail.
“Haven’t had time.” Enjoying the game despite her instinctive reticence, she finally gave him a level look. His lazy smile intrigued.
“If you’re at Old Faithful this evening,” Deering was direct, “I’ll drive over and buy us a drink.”
Decision time. He’d conveyed his interest but not the slack-jawed lust of a man on the make. Old Faithful was her turf; he’d never find her cabin … unless she showed him the way.
“Seven-thirty,” she agreed.
In the Old Faithful Inn lobby, Clare checked the intricate metal clock on the towering fireplace of massive pink stones. Guests rested in rockers on an Indian print rug, an island in the polished golden floor. The appointed hour was near, and although the Bear Pit’s open door invited, she headed for the nearest pay phone and dialed.
If there was one thing she hated more than dealing with her ex, it was having his wife answer. “Elyssa,” she said flatly, twisting the phone cable. “Is Devon there?”
“Can’t heah you …”
“I said, is Devon there?” Clare raised her voice over the din in the lobby and felt like a fishwife. Elyssa knew who she was.
Thinking of dusty boots left in her cabin, she imagined Jay’s wife in her flowered chintz drawing room, her feet shod in soft Italian kid—Texas music in her voice when she wanted something like making the visitation more convenient for her.
“Ah imagine Devon’s heah somewhere.”
Yes, Clare knew how palatial the house Jay had built Elyssa was and how loosely she monitored the girl who was not her daughter.
Clare waited, imagining annoyance twisting Elyssa’s penciled lips like she’d bitten an unripe persimmon. By the long metal hands of the fireplace clock, it took four minutes of long distance until Devon came on. Muted background sounds were probably the twenty-four inch color television Jay had given her for her designer bedroom. Clare couldn’t afford a luxury like that for a teenager.
“Where are you, Mom?”
“I’m in the lobby at Old Faithful. Lots of folks coming in for the night.”
Through the open doors, she could see the loading zone with buses discharging passengers and pungent diesel smells. After what had happened at Grant Village, she wondered if they should think about an evacuation here.
Almost everyone who came through the red, wrought-iron-trimmed double doors stopped and looked up. The soaring atrium lobby, crafted entirely of local wood, had been conceived by architect Robert Reamer in 1902, long before Hyatt considered the concept. On the underside of the dark, shingled roof, Clare noted a network of pipes and sprinkler heads. She didn’t plan on telling her daughter that if the wind did not shift or lie down, she, along with a thousand other firefighters, was going to defend Old Faithful.
A pregnant woman entered, bending to hold the hand of a chubby toddler. Devon had been like that once. The child looked with wide eyes at the soaring balconies trimmed in knotty pine.
“Are you staying at the hotel?” Her daughter’s voice was bright and Clare’s heart gave a little mother’s lift. Maybe Devon actually missed her.
“I’ve got a cabin.” A smacking sound came through the line. “Are you eating?”
“Pizza. Jay and Elyssa are going out.”
Clare considered how poorly Devon received her balanced diet lecture, and really, it was Elyssa’s fault for letting her eat like that. She tried another tack. “Did you work at the pool today?”
“Yeah.” Devon sighed and Clare imagined her flipping back her blond hair with a desultory hand. The turned up nose would be down and the china doll eyes vacant.
“If work is so boring why don’t you reconsider applying to A & M?” It was a long shot with Devon’s grades, but both Jay’s dad and Elyssa’s influential father were alumni.
“Don’t start. I’m not going to school anymore.”
Clare’s face warmed. “Try and find a real job with your high school diploma.” It was no use, but she couldn’t stop. “Flipping burgers for minimum wage is all that’s out there.”
“I’ll look for something in the fall since I’ll need a place of my own.”
Clare closed her eyes. “This is the first I’ve heard of you wanting to move.” She’d married Jay when she was too young, to get out from under her mother, and was dead set against Devon making the same mistake.
“I know you’re selling the house.” Devon laid down her winning hand. “That Realtor left a message on our answering machine.”
“Oh, dear.”
“Is that all you can say? You’re selling our house and didn’t bother to tell me.”
The tight feeling that she’d seldom been without since Frank died intensified. “Darling, I thought it would upset you.”
“You thought I wouldn’t find out? I’m old enough to know what’s going on.” Devon’s voice went squeaky. “Are you moving to Yellowstone?”
“Of course not. When you turn eighteen, the support from your father cuts off.” Always now, Jay was Devon’s ‘father,’ a way of pretending she’d never known the man. “I can’t afford the house on what I make.”
Saying it stung more than she’d imagined.
Devon chomped pizza and swallowed loudly. “Speaking of our house, I’m going home. I don’t want to stay here with Elyssa.”
Might as well waste her breath. “No.”
“I stay alone when you’re at the fire station.”
“That’s three minutes away.” Clare felt her control over Devon slip further. “You usually go to your father’s.”
“In October when I’m eighteen …” An echo of Clare’s own youthful voice telling her mother that. “I can go anywhere and do anything I like.”
“You aren’t there yet.”
She didn’t know if Devon heard her last or not, for the dial tone sounded loud in her ear. She leaned against the log wall while guilt warred with her resolve not to rush back to Houston.
She’d come to Yellowstone to break the cycle of feeling she couldn’t go on. She owed it to herself and the department to come back stronger. Today, she’d made a commitment and Garrett Anderson was counting on her.
As she replaced the receiver, she caught a whiff of the woodsy scent she’d put on. It wasn’t something she’d wear to the fire station, but this evening she’d pulled out a frosted bottle of Wind Song and splashed it over her, relishing the cold tightening of her skin. The summer ritual was an old habit she had only recently reacquainted herself with.
Clare had grown up in the well-ordered suburbs of Bellaire, Texas, back when Houston’s great anastomosing arms had not yet embraced the satellite town. Her friend, Annie McGrath on Elm Street, had shown off the assortment of perfume her mother Jewel kept on a mirrored tray in their turquoise tiled bath. One day Jewel had caught Clare and Annie sampling and joined them, sitting on the edge of the tub and reaching for a cobalt bottle of Evening in Paris.