Love after Marriage

by Chandra, Bhagya

  He saw she was respectful, very balanced, mature and committed, in addition to being very loving and caring. Her very presence made the whole house very lively and fully vibrant. His brothers, Kusum bhabhi and Kaki seemed to be so happy to have her around them. He himself felt very peaceful and elated around her. Her beauty, her composure, her attitude, her mannerisms, and her speech; everything about her was special. He longed to be with her and enjoyed every moment with her.

  Observing her closely also made him realize the pain she had hidden within, the suffering she was going through after the traumatic experience with her babuji’s death, and her loneliness. He began to comprehend her and his feelings towards her.

  He was very upset because she’d refused to come to Bangalore; he’d been restless to return to Mumbai to her. He had taken every opportunity to spend time with her. What has happened to me? Why this change in me? What has she done to me?

  Even her arguments, her fighting to get away from his embrace; everything appeared so beautiful. Chills went down his spine when he hugged and kissed her. Deepak began to perceive that Roshni was very special to him. She’d changed him and his perceptions regarding marriage. All this was nothing but love for her. He had to admit he was in love with her; he could not imagine living without her. He was completely engrossed in these thoughts.

  As he thought of her, her comments that she was getting ready to move out bothered him. There was no way he could let her go, but he knew that this would not be an easy job. He had to try hard and make her aware that he was a caring and affectionate person. He would be a good husband to her, and she had to experience this; however, him living in the US was not going to help him in this endeavor. He tried to think of ways he could win Roshni’s trust and confidence.

  ~ ~ ~

  Sashank, Kusum and Roshni returned home after dropping Deepak at the airport. Roshni was quiet in the car, and Sashank and Kusum assumed she was sad because Deepak was gone.

  Roshni went to her room, changed into her nightgown, and lay on the bed. She was restless too, recollecting the recent experiences. She could not believe how Deepak organized a surprise birthday party for her and how he tricked her into getting clothes and jewelry as gifts. She was upset by how he yelled at her for not going to Bangalore. She thought to herself, I am not his wife. What right does he have to yell at me? Then their trip to Lonawala, their conversations…everything; she smiled involuntarily on several occasions. She’d enjoyed being with him.

  It was obvious to her that he wanted to spend time with her, he enjoyed her company, and he surprised her few times with his behavior, but several questions bothered her. Why is he doing all this? Why is he toying with my emotions? What has changed? Did anybody talk to him about our relationship? Is he really trying to apologize to me; is he really regretting what happened? Or is he trying to please his brother; is this again a new drama so he can enjoy his ‘sweetheart’ in the US?

  At times she felt he was genuine, but she wasn’t ready to accept this. What if he was really acting? Then the conversation they had at the time of their Suhaag raat flashed in her mind. How could he torture me? How could he insult me?

  After their conversation in Lonawala, she believed he was truly confused and uncertain about this relationship, that everything had happened so quickly he did not have time to digest it all.

  During this trip, they’d never talked about divorce. However, his behavior raised a question in her mind. What if he has not applied for divorce?

  She always had such a positive attitude; she could not believe she was thinking so negatively. She tried to keep the negative thoughts out of her mind, but this time, she could not resist. What if he wanted to have her here in India and a wife in the US too! Could he be this deceptive?

  It was hard for her to believe this. He seemed to be so considerate, caring and helpful. Would he really do that? She could not comprehend him!

  Of course, this trip helped her to observe him closely too. She admired him for his looks and his caring and helpful attitude. She remembered how he so emphatically told her not to move to Bangalore. She’d developed feelings for him too, but with various questions bombarding her mind, she was not ready to accept anything.

  She was determined she was going to Bangalore, and this would be a great opportunity to leave Deepak’s house without causing agony to others.

  ~ ~ ~

  Deepak, after going through immigration and customs formalities, was happy to see Vivek waiting for him. They hugged and inquired about each other.

  Once in the car, Vivek asked, “So, Deepak, how was your trip? Probably very hectic, I would assume.”

  “Yeah, a little hectic but good.”

  Vivek later enquired about his trip to Bangalore and the training. Deepak gave him the details and also talked about him arriving in Mumbai one day earlier than expected due to changes in the agenda.

  “So, how is Roshni? Did you get to spend time with her?”

  The moment he heard Roshni’s name, a smile appeared on his face. It was self-evident he was pleased to hear her name and talk about her. Vivek picked up on this and smiled to himself.

  “She is doing well. I was happy to spend a couple of days with her.”

  “Did you talk about–”

  He wanted to ask about their relationship, but Deepak interrupted him. “Vivek, as you and Vaishali mentioned, it is going to be a big challenge to win her back.”

  Vivek looked at him with a questioning expression.

  “Roshni has made up her mind to leave the house,” Deepak said.

  Vivek very loudly exclaimed, “What? I mean, how could you let her do this?”

  Deepak was not happy. “Vivek, it’s a long story. I’ll give you the details at home.”

  In the last few minutes it was really very discernible to Vivek that Deepak loved Roshni and had struggled to talk her out of moving out.

  Silence followed.

  Then after some time, Vivek asked about Kusum bhabhi and Deepak’s reactions after he saw the home environment.

  Deepak smiled. “Kusum is such a wonderful person. Bhaiya is so happy with her. I think their marriage has been the most wonderful thing that happened to him. Thanks to Roshni.” He turned towards Vivek. “It is unbelievable, Vivek. It was such a great feeling to see the family atmosphere at home. Both Sashank bhaiya and Akash bhaiya are so happy; Roshni really did a miracle on those two people. It was so wonderful to see this bonding.”

  He smiled, and Vivek noticed how joyful Deepak was the moment Roshni’s name came up. Certainly he was in love with her!

  “Vivek, please drop me off at home. Let me relax tonight, and please tell Vaishali that I will come sometime this week or on the weekend to visit,” Deepak requested.

  “Deepak, she prepared dinner for all of us and has specifically asked me to bring you home. You know, she is curiously waiting to hear your update about Roshni!”

  Deepak tried to decline, but Vivek was persistent, and finally he went home with Vivek.

  Vaishali welcomed Deepak and asked, “Deepak bhaiya, how was your journey and the trip?”

  “It was okay. I had a good trip to Bangalore and then spent a couple of days in Mumbai.”

  Deepak was relatively quiet, and Vaishali and Vivek glanced at each other and wondered if all was well.

  While Deepak freshened up before dinner, Vaishali asked Vivek, “What happened? He is so quiet. Is everything all right?”

  Vivek sighed heavily. “I think so. He did not tell me much about Roshni.”

  Deepak joined them at the table. “Your parents sent some sweets. I will get them to you this week.”

  Vivek and Vaishali nodded, and all of them started dinner.

  “So tell me, Deepak bhaiya, how is Roshni doing?” asked Vaishali.

  Deepak grinned. “She is doing well. She was very busy with the launch of a prototype design while I was there.”

  Vaishali was curious. “So did you spend time together or not?”

 
“Yes, a couple of days,” he replied and beamed with happiness as he recollected those moments.

  “Will you tell us about it?” Vaishali looked very curiously at him.

  “Yeah, I’ll give you all the details, but not now, I’m tired and will come back again.” Deepak noticed Vaishali’s curiosity. “I know both of you are eager to know, but as you both mentioned, it is going to be difficult for me. She has a strong personality, and it’s not going to be easy for me to convince her to be my wife.”

  He continued, “She certainly thinks our relationship is over and we are not husband and wife. She has made plans to leave the house.”

  Vaishali could not stop herself, and very loudly she exclaimed, “What? I mean, why? Did you not talk about your relationship at all?”

  “No, not directly…” He looked at both of them.

  Vaishali shook her head. “Deepak bhaiya…did you not say you would talk to her about this? Then what happened?”

  Deepak mentioned that between his Bangalore trip and her busy schedule, they never got to talking about all the details.

  “That does not help. She probably thought you were toying with her feelings while in India,” Vaishali responded.

  Deepak was confounded. He never expected this response from Vaishali. “What do you mean I was toying with her emotions?”

  “Deepak, you don’t seem to understand the seriousness of this matter, do you? How will you prove yourself to her?”

  Deepak interrupted her. “I do; that is why I say it will be a challenge to make her comprehend my feelings for her.”

  They ate in silence for a few minutes, and Vaishali and Vivek wondered if Deepak had created more problems for himself during this trip.

  Deepak appeared worried. He knew he was sincerely trying to bring her back in his life, but what if…? Vaishali’s comment hit him hard. What if she thought that he was mucking around with her! Unknowingly he may have created more problems for himself. He became very restless; fear gripped him.

  Vaishali calmed Deepak. “You know she is a strong person and has a lot of self-respect. If you went there and behaved as if nothing had happened between both of you, she would not buy into this so easily. As a matter of fact, if you did this, you have given her reason to suspect you, and…and she will never have faith in you!”

  Silence followed for a few minutes.

  “Deepak, why don’t you get some rest? Let’s not jump to conclusions. Why don’t you come over this weekend? You can give us more details, and if you feel comfortable doing so, we can discuss this further, okay?” suggested Vivek.

  They agreed, and later Vivek dropped Deepak off at his apartment.

  Deepak changed into his pyjamas and called India to let them know he’d arrived safely. He relaxed on his bed but was not able to rest. He was worried and fearful after hearing Vaishali’s comments. He thought, Have I done more destruction to our relationship by behaving the way I did? He was very disturbed.

  He couldn’t wait to talk to Roshni – it was 11 p.m. in California, and she was probably at work. He was desperate to talk to her but decided to wait or else he may create more problems, especially when he was upset. He knew his weakness – he’d made such mistakes with her in the past.

  ~ ~ ~

  The next morning was Monday, and Deepak had to work that day. After he got ready, he made a cup of chai and dialed the India number. Sashank answered the phone. After updating Sashank about his trip home, he asked for Roshni.

  Kusum and Roshni had stepped out to go grocery shopping. Deepak was disappointed, but Sashank reminded him to call her frequently, unlike the previous time. She felt miserable and lonely without her babuji. Deepak agreed, and they hung up.

  With a heavy heart, he left for work. His boss enquired about his trip to Bangalore, and again the recent trip flashed in front of him. Anything he did or said, he was not able to keep his mind off her. With great difficulty, the day went by, and he returned home.

  He was tired but decided to stay up a little to fight the jet lag. He made chai and unpacked. He was so wonderstruck at Roshni’s efficiency in packing his suitcase – everything so securely packed. He could not help but smile and appreciate it.

  Unpacking – spice powders, sweets – suddenly he noticed women’s dresses and jewelry sets. Unbelievable! Roshni packed the dresses and jewelry sets he’d bought for her as birthday gifts.

  He was disappointed and found a note with them. “Deepak, you bought these for your wife, so please give these to her. Just a birthday wish from you was enough for me!”

  He remembered the conversation when she told him she did not want to wear them, and he was ticked off. After a few minutes, he controlled his anger and became aware this was not good for their relationship. Recollecting the conversation, he should have been very specific with her. Roshni, you are my wife, and I purchased these for you. I have no other wife. Why don’t you understand me!

  He regretted everything he had done to her, and now…What if Vaishali was right? What if Roshni thought that I was playing around with her emotions? No, no, I can’t let this happen. I have to do something!

  It was only 7 p.m., and this meant it was too early in India; he could not call. The time seemed to have stuck at one place! He tried to distract his mind, but nothing helped. He was preoccupied with thoughts of Roshni. How I wish you were with me, Roshni. How I wish I could talk to you and convince you how much I love you.

  He finished unpacking his suitcase. He certainly did bring a lot of sweets, and he remembered the conversation Roshni had had with him at that time. A smile appeared on his lips. He stored the sweets in the refrigerator and decided to hand over Vivek’s package the next day at work. He unpacked the hand bag and found the papers and wedding DVD. He immediately went to the closet to check for the power of attorney that she’d given to him when he left India after the wedding. He had to search, and there it was hidden – under a pile of papers. He held it and looked up, grateful he’d found it.

  He thought of the pictures Sanjay had taken on her birthday. He started his laptop and discovered that Sanjay had sent them. He was delighted to see Roshni in his embrace! He flipped through them several times and finally decided to print a few to frame them for his home.

  He printed a picture of hers for his wallet, and after reviewing the wedding pictures, he found one with him and Roshni standing together after the wedding. He enlarged this picture to hang in his living room. He scanned through the birthday pictures and selected a family picture with all of them for the living room and the picture of him hugging Roshni for his bedroom wall.

  A couple of days later, he was on his laptop trying to figure out the formalities to apply for Roshni’s immigration. He lost no time in contacting his company lawyer to help with Roshni’s immigration. He was on a mission now!

  Chapter 21

  Deepak has a Plan to win Roshni while Roshni’s Moves to Bangalore

  Deepak decided to spend Friday evening with Vivek and Vaishali. He went to Vivek’s house straight from work on Friday. Vaishali made chai for all, and they enjoyed snacks from India. Of course, Vivek and Vaishali were curious to know more about Deepak and Roshni, so they jumped right to this topic and asked Deepak to give them all the details. Deepak started narrating each and every experience from the day he arrived in Mumbai, and whenever he talked of Roshni, his face lit up and he smiled.

  While he talked, Vivek and Vaishali glanced at each other a few times, convincing each other that Deepak was really in love with Roshni. Deepak also talked about how he tried to be romantic with her and her response to his behavior. Everything was shared, and when he was finished, he turned very quiet and sighed deeply.

  “Vivek and Vaishali, I really had a wonderful time with her, got to know her better, and I enjoyed every moment of this trip with her. I miss her and feel lonely now. I thought about all this on my way back, and one thing is clear to me now…I cannot live without her. I can’t let her go; she is too valuable.”

  H
e sighed. “It bothered me when she mentioned that she wanted to move to Bangalore so she can be away from the family, the first step in separation.”

  He talked about the argument they had the day he left, and he remembered the comment she’d made regarding playing with her emotions. He opened his mouth to look towards Vaishali, and their eyes met…this is what Vaishali had told him, and now it struck him like thunder!

  Deepak looked at both of them. “Guys, I know this is not going to be easy. The other challenge is me being here; long distance does not help in these situations. And with the time difference, it’s hard to get her to talk on the phone.” Deepak ran his hand over his head. “I need your help. Vivek and Vaishali, I seriously think I should go back to India and spend some time with her. Maybe over time with my behavior she will believe that I am in love with her and there is no other woman in my life.”

  “Deepak, this probably is your best option at this time if you love her and want her back in your life,” Vivek reiterated.

  “Of course, what do you mean? Why do you think I am struggling so hard to keep this marriage going? I love her! I cannot imagine my life without her. This trip has really opened my eyes. I really love her!”

  With a gloomy face he continued, “You know, I noticed something about her this time. She appears to be so happy around everyone, probably nobody paid any attention to her, but I noticed…she is very disheartened. There is some pain she has hidden within her.” He wiped away a tear. “She has a lot of pain and sorrow in her. It could be our marriage, her losing her babuji, who was very close to her, and…and you know what?”

  Both Vivek and Vaishali were curious.

  “She has never spoken about our wedding to anyone. At least here I discuss everything with you both, but…but she never said a word to anybody.”

  Both Vivek and Vaishali stared at each other, and Vaishali had tears in her eyes now.

  “Roshni was close to her babuji, and she made an attempt to tell him very briefly about our marriage, but he could not take the shock. She believes he died of this shock!”