“Yeah, Sheetal, please go ahead. I know you wanted to go to a talk.”
Instantly, a thought flashed in her mind. She looked at Akash. “Akash bhaiya, Sheetal is going to attend a talk by Shri Ravi Shankar. Would you be interested in going?” She continued, turning towards Sheetal, “Sheetal, is it all right if Akash bhaiya went with you? I’m sure he would enjoy the talk.”
Akash was a fan of Shri Ravi Shankar, and Sheetal was delighted. “Akash ji, do you want to accompany me?”
Akash had a broad smile on his face. “I would love to go, but is it okay, Deepak, if I went with her?”
“Of course! I will stay here with Roshni.”
“No,” Roshni responded loudly. She did not want to offend Deepak, so she toned it down. “I mean…you should go home and rest. Aunty will be with me here in the hospital.”
“Deepak ji, I think Roshni is right. You can come back tomorrow morning,” Sheetal suggested, agreeing with Roshni.
Akash also suggested the same to Deepak, and very hesitatingly Deepak agreed to go home.
As this conversation occurred, Aunty came in. She gave instructions to Sheetal regarding the food and the arrangements she’d made at home to accommodate Deepak and Akash.
Before he left, Deepak came to Roshni and held her right hand in his. “Roshni, I will be back tomorrow morning.” He walked away, looking at Roshni, still very troubled.
Chapter 24
Deepak reveals the truth of his marriage to Akash and Sheetal
Deepak was all alone in the apartment. He was restless and worried for Roshni. This was a very genuine concern he had for her, but how could he authenticate his feelings for her? He tried to divert his mind by switching on the TV and flipping through the channels, but he couldn’t focus on any of the shows. Finally he settled on a channel with an old Hindi movie, and he logged on to his laptop to check for any e-mails. He needed to get set up to communicate with his office in the US and also the office in Bangalore. Of course, the office was closed until Monday, so he decided to check his personal e-mails.
He retired to bed after a few minutes. As he lay on the bed, he recaptured the prior incidents: their conversations on their wedding night and in Jammu, his second trip to India when he spent a couple of days with Roshni and his feelings grew for her, his desperation to persuade her to believe in him, and then this trip. All these agitated his mind; he tossed and turned but to no avail. He could not rest.
He had a mission to accomplish this time – to bring Roshni back into his life! How could he achieve this? It was past 10 p.m., and he could not sleep. He gave up and got out of bed; a cup of chai would be refreshing.
The fresh ginger lay on the counter. He opened a cabinet next to the stove and found tea leaves, sugar and ground cardamom powder. Fortunately he did not have to dig into other cabinets to look for the ingredients. He boiled water and milk and added tea leaves and spices. The aroma of cardamom powder was enticing as he stood there watching the chai simmer with fresh ginger and spice. He strained the chai into a cup and moved to the family room in front of the TV.
~ ~ ~
At the hospital, Aunty fed Roshni and gave her the medicines. Aunty also had her dinner, and then she sat beside Roshni.
She held Roshni’s hand. “Roshni bete, I am so happy that Deepak beta is here. You will have a lot of moral support with him around.”
Roshni nodded her head.
“You know, bete, Deepak is so handsome and also seems like a nice person. You both make such a good couple. May God bless you both with a long married life.”
Roshni smiled in her heart. Yeah, right! How can I tell you, Aunty, that we are already separated. I do not know why he is here. He had to come to Bangalore for a job, and he visited me so none suspected. She was lost in deep thought and became quiet.
“Roshni bete, what happened? Where are you?”
“Oh, nothing, Aunty, nothing.”
Roshni was curious to know what arrangements were made at home. “By the way, where did you arrange for Akash bhaiya and Deepak to sleep?”
“Why, of course, Deepak beta will use your room, and I cleaned the guest room for Akash beta,” Aunty replied.
Roshni was not very delighted about Deepak sharing her room. She sincerely hoped Deepak would return to Mumbai or move to another place. She was tired, so she asked Aunty to help her lie down. Of course, Deepak yelling at her was ringing in her ears, and with great difficulty, she dozed off.
~ ~ ~
It was around 11 p.m., and Deepak heard the door being unlocked. Sheetal and Akash returned from their meeting, and they saw Deepak was still awake.
Akash and Sheetal were good friends and enjoyed each other’s company. Their personalities matched – both of them were calm, very composed and mature, and more importantly, they seemed to share similar interests. Akash had already shown interest in her, and this trip, it was obvious that Sheetal also had begun to like him. Roshni noticed the glimpses of this growth in their relationship, and she was happy for both of them.
“Deepak, you have not slept!” Akash said, not expecting to see Deepak still awake.
“No, couldn’t sleep.”
Akash sat next to Deepak on the sofa. “Are you thinking about Roshni? Is that why you are unable to sleep?”
Deepak nodded.
Sheetal noticed this, and she joined the brothers in the family room, making herself comfortable on a chair at a distance. “Deepak ji, don’t worry. She’ll be all right. It’s just a matter of time,” she assured Deepak.
Deepak was quiet, and Akash sensed his uneasiness. He put his hand on Deepak’s shoulder. “Deepak, what is the matter, mere bhai? You seem very down.”
Deepak was silent. He appeared very stressed, and his eyes became moist.
“Deepak, what happened? Please tell me; maybe I can help,” Akash said, noticing his wet eyes.
Deepak looked at Sheetal and Akash. “I want to share something with both of you. Sheetal ji, because you are Roshni’s roommate and by now you know a lot about her, and Akash bhaiya, you have gotten so close to Roshni after our marriage, I think I should share this.”
Akash and Sheetal glanced at each other and could not comprehend the situation. They wondered what he had to share.
“What I did today was definitely not right; I wounded her again,” Deepak started.
“Again! What do you mean?” asked Akash.
Deepak took a deep, long breath. He stroked his chin and was silent for a moment. “There is a secret that nobody here knows, the secret of our marriage.”
Akash and Sheetal were puzzled. They waited eagerly for Deepak to continue.
Deepak unfolded the entire story between him and Roshni: their marriage, what he said on the wedding night about his idea regarding marriage, and the girl he seemed to have interest in in the US, and Roshni feeling betrayed and demeaned. He spoke of their trip to Vaishno Devi, the conversations in Jammu, and Roshni’s decision to end the relationship.
Then he continued to reveal his feelings for her – how initially he only respected her but these matured over time and, unaware to him, he fell in love with her. He admitted that soon after Sashank bhaiya’s wedding, he became aware of these feelings. Fortunately his assignment to Bangalore at this time was a blessing. He came here with an open mind to understand Roshni and explore her, and that trip unraveled his feelings and authenticated his love for her. It reaffirmed to him to continue this relationship.
Unfortunately, Roshni had moved away from him and was at a distance and unreachable, and for this relationship to grow, it was necessary for them to spend time together, live together, possibly for an extended period. He had to establish his credibility with her, and with this goal to accomplish, he decided to come to India…and hopefully persuade her by his behavior.
He also communicated to Akash and Sheetal that now his life was incomplete without Roshni, and he was determined to go back to the US with her. He talked about her immigration.
Akash an
d Sheetal had no words to express; both were in utter shock. They glanced at each other and towards Deepak.
When Deepak was finished, Sheetal said, “No wonder!”
“No wonder, what?” asked Deepak.
“Just before her accident, Aunty and I talked to her about her husband and family on Friday evening. She said something to Aunty that took both of us by surprise.”
“What did she say?” Akash was curious.
“Something to the effect of ‘there are several girls who are very happy with their husbands and married life, and unfortunately, I am not one of them!’ So saying, she walked away, and since then, she has been very depressed. She wouldn’t talk to us and confined herself to her room. Because of this, I decided to take her to the temple on Sunday evening to cheer her up and, if possible, talk to her in more detail, but…unfortunately, the accident happened.” She stopped abruptly.
“It is possible she was dejected and wasn’t paying attention when she was walking, and…and…oh my god!” responded Akash instantly.
Akash was enraged. “How could you do this, Deepak? I mean…she sure would feel embarrassed and would not depend on you. How could you do this to her?” He got up from his seat and paced with a worried look and continued, “You know, after you left, both Sashank bhaiya and I hoped for her to stay with her father, but she decided to stay with us. During this time, many times…I mean literally several times, both of us exhibited all our anger and frustration that we had for our older bhabhi on her. We yelled at her, did not talk to her, and belittled her, and…and not once did she retaliate. She bore everything so patiently. Unbelievable! Sashank bhaiya was so infuriated with her, he literally asked her to leave the house and more than once…oh, Roshni!
“She is an angel. She is an embodiment of love and patience…she won our hearts, and now I hear all this.” He continued after a pause, “Roshni, you…you don’t deserve this treatment from any of us.
“Deepak, Roshni is so educated and well placed professionally. She did not have to go through this with you or any of us, but…but she did it. Why? Do you see her values, her upbringing in this? And we treated her so childishly! It probably is some good karma from past lives that we have her in our family,” Akash said as he looked at Deepak.
Silence followed.
Sheetal said, “Deepak and Akash ji, my heart goes out to Roshni. She has been carrying such a huge burden in her heart, and never, not once, did she express any of this sorrow to anybody. One cannot fathom her mental agony! I am speechless. I agree, she is certainly an angel that was sent for you all! Oh, poor girl”
Deepak was very ashamed and guilty. He recognized Roshni was in this state because of him. With moist eyes, he said, “I am so sorry, Akash bhaiya and Sheetal ji.”
“So what is your plan now?” asked Akash.
“I am here for her. I cannot live without her, bhaiya. I love her! I’m not going to leave any stone unturned to win her back.”
“How will you achieve this goal?” asked Sheetal. “Haan, when you were here in June, what was her reaction to you?”
“I made a few attempts, but she was disinterested. She remained at a distance from me and reminded me of the pretense that we were enacting as husband and wife.”
“She probably thought you took her for granted,” replied Sheetal.
“What do you mean?”
“That you would enjoy her while in India, but once in the US, you had your ‘wife’ of your liking,” explained Sheetal.
Deepak was shaken. Vaishali had mentioned these words, and Sheetal reiterated them. He became quiet for some time, lost in thought.
“Deepak, did you hear what she just said? Does that make any sense to you? Do you see the end result?” Akash gestured around him.
“I know, bhaiya. It is entirely my fault. But I need some help – help from you both.”
“I am really ashamed to face Roshni now. I was not knowledgeable of these facts, and it benefited me. I treat her as my sister, so you know, as an older brother, I will do everything possible to protect her,” Akash emphasized again so that Deepak got the message loud and clear.
“Deepak ji, how do you think we can help you here? But I want to confirm this…do you really love her?” asked Sheetal.
“Sheetal ji, of course I love her. I just said that I cannot live without her! The very fact that I am here in India is because of her…isn’t that good proof?”
“No, because you also mentioned that you would work here.”
“Right, I had no intention of working here. It was a last-minute responsibility that was assigned to me because I was in India. But I clarified to my boss that if this assignment interfered with my goal of spending time with Roshni, I would quit my job. You may check with my friend Vivek or even my boss. I am serious, Sheetal ji,” Deepak replied.
Sheetal believed he was genuine when he said this. She saw his love for Roshni and so did Akash.
“My challenge at this time is to persuade her that I love her and that there is no other woman in my life. All I’m asking for is some help so I can be closer to Roshni, and I hope she will begin to see the love I have for her,” Deepak requested.
“Okay, count me in. I will help you. All I want is for Roshni to be happy with you,” Sheetal agreed.
Akash also nodded, assuring Deepak of his help.
Deepak thanked both of them and looked at Akash. “Akash bhaiya, I have one request.”
“What?”
“Please don’t repeat any of this to Sashank bhaiya. He would be very sad and angry with me. He and Roshni’s father were good friends, and…and this would tear him apart. Please don’t tell him or Kusum bhabhi,” requested Deepak.
Akash promised he would not disclose any of this to Sashank bhaiya, but he also insisted that Deepak should win her over.
“Sheetal ji, I will ask you for your help when I need it, but at this time…I have to be with her. She will despise me and create excuses to stay away from me, but I have to be persistent.” He rubbed his forehead, deep in thought.
Sheetal agreed and assured him of her help any time. Deepak was lightened after sharing this ‘secret’ with his brother; however, the major task lay ahead. He felt peace within…at least he was in India with her. With thoughts of Roshni, he went to sleep.
~ ~ ~
Deepak woke up Sunday morning with a ray of hope. The bright sunlight through the windows assured him of the same. He lay lazily on the bed, reminiscing over the conversation he’d had with Roshni the previous day. He felt the bed sheet over him and looked at it; Roshni’s choice was evident in it. He snuggled into it, smelled it, and imagined the aroma around her. I have to be cautious in my interactions with her and – his thoughts were interrupted by Akash’s knock at the door. He got up with sparkling excitement in his eyes.
The steaming chai lured both Akash and Deepak to the kitchen. They were at the table enjoying the taste of ginger and cinnamon in the chai, and engaged Sheetal in a casual conversation while she fixed breakfast: poha, a dish with rice flakes. Sheetal used fresh grated coconut to garnish the poha when she served them; green chilies added the spice, and fresh coconut added the sweet taste. Both brothers complimented Sheetal on her cooking skills and relished their breakfasts before setting out to the hospital.
Chapter 25
Deepak Attends to Roshni in the Hospital
Aunty was up and gave Roshni a sponge bath and changed her gown.
Roshni looked at her. “Aunty, thank you so much for taking care of me.”
“Bete, why do you repeat this? It is such a pleasure to care for you.”
“This is probably some past life karma that we have for each other,” Roshni said and had tears of gratitude.
Aunty wiped her tears and hugged her. “Don’t worry, bete. I am so happy to take care of you. Would you say this if it was your mother?”
“I lost my mother when I was very young. I do not know what a mother’s love is, Aunty, but you came into my life just like a mot
her,” she said.
Deepak, Sheetal and Akash saw all this from outside, and they exchanged glances. All three had moist eyes watching this sensitive moment between Aunty and Roshni.
Sheetal entered first. “Oh, what is going on between mother and daughter?”
Roshni smiled, and Deepak and Akash entered the room. Akash came closer to Roshni and hugged her in appreciation for all that she had done for the family in spite of her troubles. Roshni wondered – this hug of his felt different than his other hugs. She was amazed but remained quiet.
Deepak came to her and held her hand, sitting next to her. “Roshni, how are you feeling? Did you sleep well?”
Roshni attempted to pull her hand away, but he had a firm grip. “Yes, how about you? Did you get some rest?” she enquired.
“Yeah, a few hours of sleep; you know – time difference,” he said and looked at Sheetal and Akash.
Aunty was all packed and ready to leave.
“Did you all eat something, or should I get some breakfast from the café here?” she asked.
“No, Aunty, we had breakfast. I made some poha and saved some for you,” Sheetal replied.
Aunty mumbled, “Okay, thank you.”
“Aunty, don’t bother coming back tonight. You can stay home, and I will stay here with Roshni,” Deepak said, looking at Aunty.
“What about your meals?”
“I will get some food from a restaurant or the café. We will have dinner together.”
Roshni’s reaction was prompt. “No, I need her here. I need her help. Aunty, please don’t listen to him. You can come back,” she pleaded.
Deepak held Roshni’s hand very affectionately. “Roshni, Aunty has been sleeping here for the last several days. I’m not sure if she is able to sleep well; moreover, with her age, she needs some rest. Please try to understand. I will be with you here, and if you need anything that I can’t do, I can call the nurse to help you, okay?” he assured Roshni.
Roshni knew Aunty needed some rest but was hesitant to have Deepak around her alone.
Love after Marriage Page 28