by Dayo Benson
Needless to say, the house was beautiful. The color scheme in the den was a very unusual but surprisingly nice gray and cranberry. The furniture was all weirdly shaped and modern.
“I’m staying here this weekend,” Dan said. “But I’ll take you back to college whenever you’re ready.”
I gave him a saccharine sweet smile. “So is this gonna be your new venue for your player activities?” I didn’t know what possessed me to say that, and I regretted it as soon as the words left my lips. I sounded like a jealous ex.
“Lexi, I’m trying my best to cheer you up,” Dan said. “And you know it’s not even like that with you. I’m serious about you. I want a real relationship.”
I looked at him unconvinced, and he rubbed his beard. He hadn’t shaved for a couple days, and it made him look formidably handsome. “What do you want? Tell me once and for all. Do you want a relationship with me?”
I was sick of guys asking me what I wanted. I didn’t know!
“Lexi, if the answer is no, just tell me, and I’ll stop bugging you.”
I was always telling Dan to stop bugging me, but now that he was offering to stop, I didn’t like it. I actually quite liked his bugging.
“I’m tired of the mixed signals you’re giving me, Lexi. What’s it gonna be?”
“I don’t know. I could trust Carl, but I don’t know about you.”
Dan kissed me, and I allowed myself to push away all my misgivings. Either he really liked me, or he just liked a good chase. The problem with guys who liked to chase was that once they caught their prey, they got bored and looked for someone else to chase.
We ended up staying at Dan’s condo all weekend. When we left on Monday morning, he reminded me that I had to make a decision about our relationship. We were either together, or we weren’t. He didn’t want a casual on-off thing.
That was fair enough. I nodded as he talked, but I still wasn’t sure what my decision would be.
***
I was looking at my pictures on the Roz Petroz website proudly when Carl called me. I hesitated before I answered, but there was no need to be worried. He just wanted to say that there were no hard feelings and we could still be friends. I thought it was really sweet of him.
When I told Dan about the conversation later, he was far from thrilled. “If you and I are going to be together, I don’t want you being friends with him.”
I crossed my arms and stepped aside as he took a pizza out of the oven without gloves. His face screwed up for a few moments while he sucked in the pain, and then he opened his eyes. “Help yourself.”
One thing was for sure; if I stayed when Dan left in January, I was going to be stuck for meals each night.
Chapter 48
I was in two minds about Dan, and I knew that I’d never be able to make up my mind about him. I figured I had to just follow my heart, and my heart wanted to be with him.
We started dating, and he booked a Hawaiian holiday for the week between Christmas and New Year. I was so excited. Last Christmas had been miserable, and my mom had worked ridiculous hours throughout the holiday season. She was probably going to do the same this year. She wouldn’t even feel my absence.
I was in a coffee shop in the student center waiting for Dan. It was Wednesday evening, and we were going to the theater to watch one of Dan’s actor friends make his stage debut.
Someone came up behind me and covered my eyes. I wouldn’t have minded, but I’d just done my mascara. “Who is it?”
No answer.
“Dan?”
“No, it’s Carl.” He dropped his hands and took the seat beside me.
“Have you got mascara on your hands?”
He held them up “Yeah. And you’ve got it on your eyelids.”
I opened my purse to get my mirror.
Carl leaned over. “Allow me.” He started rubbing my eyelids gently.
Dan appeared in the doorway of the coffee shop. His expression closed as he watched Carl, and I removed Carl’s hand. “I’ve got my mirror; don’t worry about it.”
“Are you ready?” Dan asked from the doorway, not coming in.
“Yeah.” I stood and shouldered my purse. I’d sort out my mascara in the car.
Carl stood too and squeezed my shoulder. “See you around.”
Dan and I walked to the parking lot in silence. “Are you mad at me?” I asked when we got to the car.
“Should I be?”
“No. Carl was barely with me for two minutes before you came.”
Dan got into the car. I walked around to the other side and slid into the passenger’s seat. He was quiet all the way to the theater.
***
It was Friday afternoon, and I hadn’t seen much of Dan since we went to the theater. I knew he was angry over Carl, and it was annoying me. I’d told him nothing happened. Why couldn’t he just believe me?
I knew he had an assignment deadline that evening, so I guessed he was in the library. I decided to go and check. I was glad I did. I found him sitting with a group of people, and I was about to go over when he said something to the blond girl sitting next to him, and she leaned over giving him a lingering kiss before getting up and mincing away.
I went back to my room. I was hurt, but I wasn’t shattered, so whatever. When Dan got home that night, he came to my room. I told him I wasn’t going to Hawaii and that it was over. I didn’t bother explaining, and he didn’t ask why. He left my room indifferent and unconcerned. No girl needed a guy like that.
We didn’t talk for the rest of the week, and I hung out with Carl a few times. Big mistake. We went to a bar on Friday night, and I drank far too much Rosé and ended up in his bed. I fled back to my room when I regained consciousness the next morning, my head banging and my eyes heavy. Carl came to check on me a couple hours later. I couldn’t remember half of what had happened the night before, but the bits that I did remember were extremely embarrassing. What kind of a slut was I? I’d just broken up with Dan, and I was already in Carl’s arms just a few days later. I needed to get a grip.
“You left your purse, but I forgot to bring it,” Carl told me while I tried to avoid his gaze without looking too embarrassed. “I’ll bring it over later.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled.
He put a Starbucks latte on my table and left for his Saturday soccer game. My throat was unbearably dry, but the smell of the coffee made me want to hurl. I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
Dan’s door opened at the same time as mine and a voluptuous blond sauntered out. A different blond from the one I’d seen on Monday.
Dan saw her to the elevator and then came to the kitchen. I was gulping down water when he appeared in the doorway. We were both sluts, but he was a bigger one than I was. Exactly how many girls did he have?
“You look terrible,” he said from the doorway.
I couldn’t believe I’d actually thought he was a nice guy and that I could trust him. Where was my sense? Carl was probably the only guy I’d ever dated that actually liked me.
I filled my glass again and then pushed past him and went to my room. He wasn’t worth any pain on my part. He could go play with some other girl’s heart.
That evening when I went to the kitchen for some toast, Dan was in there with yet another girl. For some reason, that made me crack. Carl came by to drop off my purse that I’d left in his room and caught me as I left the kitchen with my toast, my eyes filling up.
“What’s up?” he asked.
I made something up about just not feeling well. He didn’t need to know.
***
I was looking forward to Christmas more than I’d ever looked forward to anything before. When the time came for me to leave for home, Dan insisted on helping me with my things.
We hadn’t spoken for two weeks, and I was back with Carl. I didn’t want or need his help.
“Why’re you taking everything home?” Dan asked looking around my empty room.
“I just want to.” The tru
th was that I didn’t think I was coming back after Christmas. I would commute to college from home if my mom would let me.
Dan picked up two of my bags. “I don’t need any help.” I snapped.
He ignored me and went to the elevator, no doubt to put them in his car. He returned a few minutes later for more. “Where are your car keys?”
I pointed at the computer table.
He loaded both our cars with my stuff and then followed me home in his car.
My mom was home, wonder of all wonders. I thought maybe she’d stayed home because I told her I was coming, but when I saw her laptop and stacks of paperwork spread out on the kitchen table, I knew she was just working from home. She told me that she’d started up her own beauty consultancy called Flawless. Wow! No wonder my bank balance had been looking so good.
Dan and my mom clicked instantly. I gritted my teeth when she said he could come and stay over for a few days if he wanted to during the vacation. “He’s not my boyfriend,” I ground out. I went to my room to wait for him to leave. A few minutes later, he followed me up, under the guise of helping me bring my stuff up.
“Where do you want these?” he asked.
I glared at him.
He dropped the bags on the floor. “Why did you dump me?”
I couldn’t believe he was just asking that after all this time. “Why? You didn’t care before.”
“I did, but I know how you treat guys who care about you.”
“What does that mean?”
Dan leaned against my table. “I saw how you made Carl follow you around begging.”
“Go home, Dan.”
“No, I want to know. I’ll leave as soon as you tell me.”
“I saw you with someone else.”
“While we were together?” Dan shook his head in defense. “I swear I didn’t see anyone else while I was with you.”
I knew what I saw, but I wasn’t about to argue this out. It was over anyway. There was no point trying to do a post mortem now.
“Are you sure you saw me with someone else? Because I can honestly swear, Lexi, I didn’t play you. I swear on my life.”
“I saw you Dan. But it doesn’t matter now anyway.”
“Where and when did you see me?”
“On the day I dumped you.”
Dan frowned. “Was that after I caught you with Carl?”
“You didn’t catch me with Carl. I told you nothing happened.”
“Well, I didn’t believe you.”
I rolled my eyes. “So now you’re gonna say you did it because you thought I was doing it.”
“Well, weren’t you?”
“No!” I could tell Dan didn’t believe me.
“Carl was trying to get back with you, and you weren’t giving him much resistance.”
“Carl just wanted us to stay friends.”
“We both know that’s not true.”
“Okay, whatever. It’s over anyway.”
Dan stepped forward and shut my room door. “It doesn’t have to be. Maybe if we’d talked rather than ignoring our anger, we’d still be together.”
“If anyone had any anger and ignored it, it was you. I tried to talk to you, but you wouldn’t listen.”
Dan was quiet for a moment. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
“No, I really am.” Dan crossed the room and took my hand. “Is it too late to ask for another chance?”
I was sick of being caught between two guys. “It’s too late. I’m back with Carl.”
Dan’s hand dropped away. “Already.”
It had been a few weeks, so it wasn’t ‘already.’
“Well, I’ve still got our booking for Hawaii. Do you want to come?”
“No.”
Chapter 49
The lead up to Christmas was horrendous—almost as horrendous as last year. I couldn’t believe how upset I was that my dad wasn’t around. Christmas seemed to really bring out my blues.
My mom was never available. Even if she was home, she was in her own world on her laptop, and we barely spoke more than a paragraph to each other each day. To say that I was lonely was a huge understatement.
Dan hounded me about Hawaii. I knew I couldn’t go, but it was tempting. I could get away for a week, lie on a beach, and forget all my sorrows.
Carl was caught up with meeting high school friends who were back for the holiday. I should have been too, but I didn’t care to see anyone. I texted Monica, but she wasn’t coming back until Christmas Eve.
On Christmas Eve, she came to my house straight from the airport with Sandy. My mom opened the door and promptly snatched the bottle of wine that Sandy was holding.
“Go back to the kitchen, Mom, please,” I said rolling my eyes. “Merry Christmas, you guys.”
“Merry Christmas,” Monica and Sandy squealed.
We went to my room to catch up. I couldn’t believe they’d come straight from the airport.
Sandy filled me in about New York and college and all the mischief she’d gotten into in her first semester. I giggled all the way through. She was still dating Kevin, but she’d met another guy called Andrew. Apparently, he was super hot.
“So has anything happened with you and Andrew?” I asked.
Sandy grinned and then looked at Monica. “I’d tell you, but miss Virgin Mary is here.” She rolled her eyes.
Monica sighed. “Go ahead. I won’t say anything.”
“Well,” Sandy began. “Andy doesn’t live on campus, which is great. I can just go and hide out at his place for a couple nights and not get worried that Kevin’ll catch me.”
“But I thought you were crazy about Kevin?” I asked.
“I am.”
“So why are you cheating on him.”
Sandy looked incredulous. “Why not? I bet he’s doing it too.”
“Kevin isn’t cheating on you, and you know it,” Monica said.
“He’s a guy,” Sandy said. “Guys cheat all the time. You both know that.”
“Not all guys,” Monica said. “Liam never cheated on me.”
“How do you know?”
“I just know.”
Sandy smiled mirthlessly. “I’ve had enough of dating guys and thinking they actually care about me, only to discover that they’ve been playing me. And you know what? They all do it. I don’t care what anyone says. They can’t keep their pants up.”
“That doesn’t mean you should start cheating too,” Monica said. “And deep down you must know that Kevin wouldn’t cheat on you.”
“Monica, I don’t care,” Sandy said in exasperation. “I’ve dated plenty guys that I never cheated on, but they cheated on me. That’s life.”
“You can’t take that out on Kevin.”
Sandy glared at Monica, and she raised her hands. “Sorry.”
Sandy looked at me. “Back to what I was saying, I don’t see Andy all the time, just every now and then.”
“Well, shut up and listen to my story then,” I said tossing my hair. “I started dating Carl when we got back to college, but there’s this guy that lives by me called Dan.”
Sandy giggled. “And?”
“He is the hottest thing you ever saw.”
Monica switched on my TV, obviously not interested.
“You might know who he is because his dad owns the Diamond Parlor.”
“Dan Black?” Sandy asked.
“Yeah.”
Her mouth dropped. “You’re kidding.”
“I’m not.”
“He is hot!”
“I know.”
Sandy elbowed Monica. “Didn’t you have a thing for him one time?”
Monica nodded. “That was ages ago. Jace had a hotel function, and he was there. I don’t think he even noticed me though.”
“Yeah, Monica was talking about him for weeks saying he was a black girls’ white boy,” Sandy said giggling.
“Well, he’s been cooking me stir fry rice and trying to get with me.”
&nbs
p; “Right, start from the beginning,” Sandy ordered.
I told them everything that had happened. Sandy booed when I said I’d gotten back with Carl and turned down Dan’s Hawaii invitation. “Girl, go to Hawaii,” she said.
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“It’s not right, and Carl might find out.”
“And he might not.”
“I know, but I’d feel guilty.”
Monica found a religious channel and turned the volume up. She’d tuned out of our discussion.
“The way I see it,” Sandy said, “is that Dan is loaded, and he wants to take you to Hawaii. No girl would turn that down. Even Carl wouldn’t turn down an offer like that if someone like Jamie Price asked him.”
That was probably true. “But if I go, Dan is going to expect me to put out.”
“And you don’t want to?”
I giggled at Sandy’s expression. “You are nuts.”
Monica glanced at me. “Don’t go, Lexi.”
“Why not?” Sandy asked.
“Can’t you two see how empty it all is?” she asked. “What’s the point of a relationship if there’s no trust? What’s the point of just messing about? Don’t you just feel empty after it all?”
Sandy smiled. “No.”
Monica stood up. “I’ll go help your mom in the kitchen. Whatever she’s cooking smells good.”
Sandy gave me a bored expression when Monica left the room. “Ever since that girl got religion, she’s turned into such a bore.”
That evening after they left, I was wrapping presents in my room, and my mom came to check on me. “Is that mine?” she asked.
“No, Aunt Milly’s.”
“Did you get something for your grandmother?”
“Yep.” I decided to broach the Hawaii subject with her. “You know Dan, who helped me bring my stuff home?”
“Yes?”
“We’re going to Hawaii.”
Her expression changed. “When?”
“Boxing Day.”
“I thought he wasn’t your boyfriend?”
“Well, it’s complicated.”
“Have you been sleeping with him?”
I looked at my mom uncomfortably. “Why?”