by Willow Dean
Rough on the outside, yet super soft and cuddly on the inside.
Despite being a man of a few words, when he does speak, it’s awe inspiring and motivating. It’s easy enough to determine that he’s the tough lover of the family.
Last but not least is Rick, whom I haven’t seen since he and Aus de-mirrored my room earlier.
It’s obvious that the others look up to him. Idolize him even. Whether it’s part of their family dynamic or something more, I’m not too sure, but Jax and Aus both defer to him for guidance.
He’s the ever-elusive puppet master. Silent and calculating, he pulls the strings from the shadows.
Marching to his orders, Aus and Jax assisted me while he coordinated and organized everything to do with getting me home. After that, he just up and disappeared.
What I like most about Rick though, is that although he takes no nonsense, he also isn’t afraid to show his emotions either.
Sexy and sweet all rolled up into one gigantic and muscly package.
Not that I’m thinking of him in a romantic way at all. I don’t think I could fathom thinking about anyone in that sort of manner for a while, if I’m being completely honest with you.
Sex is by far the last thing on the agenda at present, but a girl can dream can’t she?!
According to Rick, the twin’s who apparently live here too, will be arriving just before Lachlan.
Who on earth would have thought that I would be living in a house that I partied in just over a month ago? Nevertheless, a home that belongs to not just one dude that I barely know…but five?
Crazy, right?!
Then again, what happened to my family and I wasn’t exactly normal either. After all that’s happened, I don’t think there’s anything in this world that could really surprise me anymore.
Rick left the house hours ago to go goodness knows where, leaving Aus to do some work in the office downstairs and Jax to settle me in.
All in all, the entire experience from waking up to arriving here was completely surreal. The whole thing seemed more akin to a military operation rather than a family outing.
Nevertheless, the strictness and attention to detail brought about a settling and comforting atmosphere.
Safety and home.
That’s what this feels like, which is kinda good, considering the situation I’ve just found myself in.
Despite not being able to eat and drink all that much, the doctor let me go so long as I promised to try and eat little and often at home.
My stomach still revels at the idea of having to stretch to accommodate so much food after weeks without it. The turbulent emotions plaguing me probably aren’t helping either.
Time to try again, I guess.
In the end, we all have to start somewhere, which is exactly why I asked Jax to get me a cup of juice without a straw so I could try to drink it myself.
Not that the whole experience is going well for me so far.
As if with perfect timing, orange sloshes over the side of the cup and straight onto my clean clothes as my hands continue to shake.
I’ve found out first hand that the idea of the more you concentrate, the better you will be at something, is utter crap.
“Come on, god damn it! It’s a cup. A cup!” I growl at the offending utensil? Crockery piece? Meal holder?
Whatever the fuck you want to call it! You get my point.
Jax gently lays a hand over the top of mine to steady it, while placing his other hand underneath the cup to take some of the weight.
The shaking eases as he encourages me to raise the cup to my lips, completely ignoring the scowl that I throw at him, and the cup.
The level of patience he shows me is overbearing, bordering on annoying, as is his attentiveness towards me. Oh, and let’s not gloss over the insanely irritating amount of empathy he throws my way.
Nor forget the way he makes sure that I have everything I need and the way he gently assists me with…oh, I don’t know…everything!
Who am I kidding?! Everything at the moment is just infuriating and downright aggravating. I can’t even pick up a cup half full of liquid without spilling it everywhere.
We haven’t even attempted getting to the toilet or showering yet, and if this prelude is any indication as to how I am going to be able to manage, I can assure you now…it will not be well!
Tears of anger and frustration burn at the back of my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. If only I had my parents and best friend at my side, then everything would be so much easier to deal with.
Mum would plait my hair and make me my favorite food. Gem would lay and read to me or force me to watch one of the awful chick flicks that she loves so much. Dad would stock up on chocolate, ready to spoil me when I was fit and fighting, before cuddling up beside me and singing me to sleep.
What I wouldn’t give just to have all of that once more. Even just for a night.
As it stands, I don’t have any of that. There isn’t even a female in this household, so I don’t even want to consider how I’m going to go about my business if I can’t even stand up by myself.
It’s not like I can even ask one of the guys. After all, they are…you know, men. The opposite gender. Males. All of whom I know oh, so well. Not.
“Jeez, you sound so pathetic. Buck yourself up Mimi and get your ass into gear, or so help me, I’ll come right back from the grave and kick it for you!”
Gem’s voice resounding in my head causes a spike of pain to shoot through my chest. It seems as though I can’t get a break from her, even in death.
I know for certain that if she were here right now, I would be in for an ass whooping of epic proportions. She could never stand the woe is me vibe I’m throwing off in bucket loads right now.
Instead, she’d be scolding me none too nicely for being a whiny ass baby who needs to get a grip.
So, get a grip is what I shall do.
The thought of being a burden to the guys spurs me on even more. There’s nothing worse than having a barnacle of a friend who leeches off you at every turn. That shall not be me.
No siree.
It also makes me wonder why Lachlan took me in so easily, or why the guys are so easy going with having me live with them considering I only just met them recently.
Oddly, the whole routine seems practiced. Maybe taking in strays is a regular occurrence for them?
I mean, come on! I don’t know the first thing about any of the guys I’ll be cohabiting with, and now I am living with them?!
It’s insane and most definitely not something that every average human being would do. No matter how kind they are.
Whatever their reasons, I know for a fact that I can’t do anything to jeopardize my position here. I don’t exactly have a home just sitting there waiting for me to go running back too.
Well actually, I do…it’s just empty.
I’ll have to deal with the house and the idea of being an orphan eventually, but now is not the right time to open that specific can of worms.
Running everything back, I’m still no clearer on what happened or why it happened. The last conversation I had with my mum wasn’t exactly informative.
Neither was the one that I overheard between her and Dad. No, all their cryptic conversation did was create a multitude of new and exciting mysteries for me to explore.
Cue the sarcasm.
I don’t even know where to begin. For now, I guess my main priority is putting all my focus and attention into getting better. I can’t mope around forever, and I certainly can’t take the guys’ kindness for granted.
First things first, drinking. Without the need for a bib. Fun.
After that, I plan on getting answers from Lachlan so that I can start trying to piece everything together and building up my strength.
Then, and only then, can I finally begin tracking down the motherfucker who is responsible for all this.
Now that’s what I call fun.
Using my internal pep talk and
the promise of painful retribution to steel my resolve, I take a deep breath. Relaxing my shoulders, my eyes drift shut as I concentrate.
Diverting all my attention towards my hands, I filter each sensation running through them. Picturing everything about the appendages and what they are in contact with.
How the chill of the cup seeps into my skin and numbs them somewhat.
How the warmth and softness of Jax’s palms offer a stark contrast to the cool, wetness of the condensation running down the side of the cup.
My two trembling limbs form a death grip around the smooth porcelain cup, fingertips meeting tentatively in the middle.
Directing my focus to the strength of my grip, I notice my hands continue to shake, but nowhere near as violently as before.
“Can you remove your hands please, Jax?” I whisper softly.
“Are yo-”
“I want to try again on my own. I’ll get it this time,” I state gently. My lips tilt into a small smile as I cut him off without even opening my eyes.
Small vibrations through the bed clue me in to the fact that he nods as he starts to remove his hands slowly. Even just being able to see the backs of my eyelids, I can tell that his hands hover close by just in case.
Focusing intently on keeping the cup as still as possible, I test the responsiveness of the muscles in my arms.
Although the tremors worsen a little bit more without the extra support, they aren’t violent enough to spill the cups contents.
A grin splits my face as I feel Jax’s eyes alight on me. Opening my eyes to get a good look of my success, I’m taken aback when I catch Jax looking on with a proud smile. He catches me watching and blushes a beautiful cherry red.
How adorable.
Breaking our gaze, he turns his head and coughs into his hand. I bring the cup to my lips and take a sip. Strangely enough, it tastes even better knowing how hard I’ve worked for it.
It elicits the same feelings and sensations as when you eat your mum’s homemade cooking. You know…those meals that taste amazing compared to your bland attempts, despite using the same recipe.
A cruel smile warps my face as an errant thought flits through my head.
Just imagine that feeling tenfold when you finally get your hands on-
“Mila? Mila? Mila?!” Jax’s stricken look is enough to pull me out of my head. “Are you okay?” Concern laces his words as his brow furrows.
Shaking my head to clear the cobwebs, I give him a quick nod before gazing back down at my white-knuckled grip on a now empty cup that has a slight crack running down one side.
Interesting.
“Yeah, sorry. I’m fine. When is Lachlan going to be home? I have a few things I need to ask him,” I question innocently, trying to distract him.
“He’ll be home in a couple of hours. All of the guys are going to be here too. I think he wants to discuss a few things with all of us together.” His words tail off as he gives me a hesitant smile.
“Jax, how is this going to work?” He squirms slightly, trying to avoid eye contact. “I mean, I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but why has Lachlan taken me in? No offence, but I don’t know any of you, and you guys certainly don’t know anything about me. I just don’t get it.”
He contemplates his words carefully. “I can’t say anything just yet. But I promise, once you speak with Lachlan, things will start to make a bit more sense. I believe he knows you better than any of us realize, but we’ll get to that later.”
I stiffen at his words.
He knows you better than any of us realize? What exactly is that meant to mean?! Was it them who were behind it all? Did they do it just to get me to stay with them, to get to know me?
No, that doesn’t make any sense at all. I have nothing of value to them. Plus, there are far easier ways to get close to me.
Following my family and I for miles out of the city, only to attack us and kill everyone off in the process, is most certainly not going to get you any closer to me.
Unless that is, you have a desire to be intimately acquainted with sharp metallic objects and an obscene amount of pain.
“Mila? Mila?!” Jax’s sharp voice brings me back. Clearly, I drifted off into my thoughts. Again.
When he sees he’s caught my attention, the furrows between his eyebrows relax as he regards me with understanding and patient eyes.
“I can see those cogs turning in that pretty little head of yours,” he chuckles quietly. “I promise, there are no ulterior motives. You are free to leave here whenever you want. Not that you would be able to in the condition you are in right now,” he mumbles, earning a little giggle from me.
“But we won’t stop you from trying. Everything will start to make a bit more sense once you’ve spoken with Lachlan. It may not be the answers you want, but you will get your answers and the opportunity to ask any questions you would like.”
I nod in agreement, reassured by his logic, but that’s all I have the energy for at the moment.
He’s right. They’ve all been nothing but kind to me. Despite them forcing me back into bed in the hospital, they’ve done nothing but encourage me to do what would benefit my health in the long run.
Aus even bandaged my arm after I pulled out the drip. Not that it needed it. He simply did it just to care for me.
Completely out of nowhere, the inexplicit need to use the toilet comes over me.
Well this is going to be fun!
Accepting that I have no choice but to ask for help if I don’t want to void myself where I sit, I drop my head to hide my embarrassment and speak at an almost inaudible volume. “Jax. Can you help me to the toilet, please?”
He snickers. The bastard actually snickers!
I smack him on the arm as he looks back at me in amusement.
“Mila, it’s fine. I’m helping you walk to the bathroom. There’s no need to look so embarrassed. It’s not like I’m going to sit there and watch you pee or clean you up afterwards.”
Throwing him a wounded look of shock and helplessness, I watch as the grin drops from his face and his cheeks flush.
Gotcha!
His reaction is endearing, yet utterly hilarious at the same time. It takes everything in me to keep a straight face as he starts stammering, struggling to get his next words out.
“You di- You- You don’t actually need me to help you with that, right?” Swallowing thickly, he practically gulps air at the end of his sentence.
The look of sheer terror that flits across his face is what does me in and I can’t hold the laughter back any longer.
Doubling over, my breath wheezes out of me. He visibly relaxes when he realizes that I wasn’t serious. Rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, he lets out a relieved breath.
The awkward grin he gives me lightens my mood, and for the first time since I woke up in that hospital bed, I truly feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I can finally see through the dark clouds obscuring my view and grasp the silver lining that has, up until now, been just out of reach.
All I need to do now is push through the pain and heartache and make the most of what I have been given.
Life. It is a precious thing.
12 Mila
So, the trip to the bathroom wasn’t too awful. Albeit less than five meters away in the en-suite, I managed the whole affair without embarrassing myself at least.
Sure, Jax was watching over me, and the whole thing was quite a struggle, but I didn’t need any assistance.I just wish I wasn’t so pathetic as to need supervision to walk five meters.
Then again, I shouldn’t really expect my recovery to be that easy, considering I spent three weeks comatose and lost nearly all of my muscle mass.
I really need to stop whining and consider myself fucking lucky.
The shower chair I found in the shower cubicle didn’t go unnoticed either. When Jax saw me eyeing up the contraption, he explained that they thought I’d prefer to be able to shower myself rather
than having hired help, or even worse. Them.
They would be correct.
Once again, their perceptiveness amazes me, and at this moment in time, I am very grateful for that.
Thankfully, I was strong enough to do my business and make myself presentable all on my lonesome. Jax hovered just outside of the door waiting patiently for me to call.
Nothing embarrassing to see here folks!
Thank god almighty for small mercies like being able to do your personal business on your own. Hint. Hint.
When we arrived back from the hospital, and against the others' protests, Aus had let me walk from the car to the door before I nearly collapsed. At which point he intervened, much to my dismay, and carried me the rest of the way.
It was progress for me though and that’s all that matters. Despite Aus’s reassurances that I’m not a burden, that little display made me realize just how desperate I am, not to be a damsel in distress.
I already have an end goal in mind, which is the main thing. Even if said goal has nothing to do with my health, and cannot be achieved until I am fully functional again, it’s still an end goal nonetheless.
Reluctantly, I shift it onto the back-burner for now. First things first, I need to minimize princess time and maximize muscle man time. Mine of course. Not the guys’.
Nope. Definitely not theirs.
I definitely would not complain about spending more time with the guys. Muscle man time could be ve-
No! Naughty, Mila. Focus.
I’m debating whether to try and take a quick shower, still feeling yucky from prolonged hospital stay, when voices filter up from downstairs and the front door clicks closed.
It sounds as though everyone is home, which means it’s answer time for me. Looks like shower time is going to have to wait!
Jax offered to carry me into the bathroom in the first place, but I refused. Unfortunately for them, declining help is a standard for me. I’ve always been stubborn with a strict aversion to asking for help, but I’m also no fool.
I know there are things that I won’t physically be able to manage, and although it will kill me to acknowledge my vulnerability and ask for help, I’ll do it if I have to.