Boston managed not to flinch at the sound of her son’s name. “I can’t be lost,” she said, doing her best to keep her voice steady so Wade wouldn’t guess the truth. “I will love Zeke until I die. As to the rest of it, did he tell you what he said?”
Wade looked at her. “He’s not wrong, Boston. Having another baby...”
She scrambled to her feet and shook her head. “Stop it. You don’t get to say that. You have a daughter. She’s beautiful and healthy and you don’t get to tell me when I should be ready.” She took a step back, then another.
Wade held up both his hands. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I don’t get to say. I shouldn’t have mentioned it.”
She drew in a breath. Wade moved close and wrapped his arms around her. She settled into the comfort—a silent acceptance of his apology. Her brother-in-law kissed the top of her head.
“Don’t be mad at him. He loves you. I love you, too. Just, you know, not like that.”
It was an old joke—a familiar one. Comfortable. She closed her eyes and nodded. “I don’t love you like that, either. Send him home. It’s fine.”
“You sure?”
“If he’s here, I can torture him more thoroughly.”
“That’s my girl.” He released her. “I’m taking over the Gordon job.”
“The house next door? Not Zeke?”
“He and I decided I was more suited to the project.”
She looked up at Wade and raised her eyebrows. “Of course you did. I’m sure it was a long, thoughtful conversation and had nothing to do with the fact that Andi Gordon is pretty, single and has a great butt.”
“My work is pain. I do what I can.”
“You’re a complete and total dog.”
“Not really, but I do want to check out the new neighbor.” He winked. “I have an appointment first thing in the morning. Wish me luck.”
“No, and send my husband home.”
Wade waved his agreement and started toward his truck. Boston returned to her planting.
Zeke would return and they would talk and life would go on. At some point he would have to accept that she wasn’t ready for the next step—that her heart had been torn in so many pieces it might never be whole. People healed in different ways and at different speeds. She was fine with him having already moved on. She almost wished she could be like him. Almost. Because the truth was, not letting go allowed her to keep her baby close. In her pain, Liam was always with her. Exactly where he belonged.
* * *
Deanna wasn’t sure how long she sat in the park. When she finally forced herself to move, she was shivering. Perhaps from the cooling temperatures or perhaps from something deep inside herself.
Colin’s words continued to batter her. As she stood, she felt blood seeping from wounds no one else could see.
He was wrong, she told herself as she made her way back to her SUV. How could he think that about her? She loved her children. She devoted her life to her family. She had nothing for herself. She was defined by her relationships, by her love for them.
She started the engine and slowly drove back to her house. As she made a turn, the folder slipped off the seat and papers scattered on the passenger-side carpet.
She’d been so sure, she thought bitterly. So prepared. She’d known what she was going to say, going to demand. Now she was left scrambling, unable to figure out what exactly had gone wrong.
Humiliation seared through her, making her skin burn. Had he talked to the girls about this? Did they all know what had happened? She would expect Madison to be gleeful, but the other girls, the younger ones, the twins, they were her babies. They loved her. She was their mother.
But Deanna realized she was less sure than she had been an hour ago. It was as if someone had picked up her entire world and shaken it before putting it down again. While everything was where it was supposed to be, the seams weren’t straight and the edges didn’t line up.
She turned at the corner and started up the last hill. The three houses, the Three Sisters, came into view. The sight of hers, so beautifully restored, usually calmed her, but not today. Not now.
Apparently she hadn’t sat in the park as long as she’d thought because Colin was still in the driveway. All five girls crowded around him, hugging and talking, each struggling to be the one who carried his suitcase.
She slowed, then came to a stop in the street and watched as her children smiled at their father. They were so happy to see him. She could hear their excited voices and their laughter. They practically danced for him.
A few days ago, the scene would have filled her with contentment and pride. So many fathers weren’t interested in their children, but not Colin. He’d always been involved with the girls. Now she understood that he’d had a plan all along. A desire to take everything from her. To hurt her.
Deanna waited until they’d all gone inside, then parked next to his car and went into the house. Loud conversation came from the kitchen as each of Colin’s daughters vied for his attention. She took the stairs up to their bedroom and closed the door.
She leaned against the sturdy wood and struggled to keep breathing. She wouldn’t cry, she told herself. Wouldn’t let him know he’d gotten to her.
She crossed to the bed and grabbed one of the corner posts. She held on, gasping for air.
The unfairness made her want to scream. She’d sacrificed everything for Colin. Had created this perfect life he now complained about. She was a good mother. She was! How dare he judge her? He got to leave every week. She took care of all the details, she had to manage every crisis, while he got to come and go as he pleased. He was always the returning hero. She was the parent who reminded the children to brush their teeth.
Bitterness rose like bile in her throat. She hung on to the carved wood with both hands, digging her nails into the varnished surface. Hatred filled her. Resentment and anger blended into a poison.
Damn him, she thought viciously. Damn them all.
Chapter Four
ANDI STOOD IN front of the coffeepot. “Come on,” she murmured. “Hurry. I’m seriously desperate.”
Water gurgled over grounds, then dripped out as dark, magic elixir. Andi held her mug where the carafe usually sat and waited until the cup nearly overflowed, then expertly put the carafe back in place and took her first sip.
Life, she thought happily, the hot, caffeinated liquid slipping down her throat. Life and promise and a gradual easing of the sleepy dullness blanketing her brain.
She pushed her hair out of her face and tried to remind herself that she loved the house. She’d uprooted her life for a reason that had seemed very compelling at the time.
“More coffee,” she said aloud. “Then I’ll remember why I thought this was a good idea.”
She crossed the attic floor and stared out the window. She might be living in tight quarters, but she sure couldn’t complain about the view. From up here, she could see across the whole west half of the island. Beyond that the sound sparkled in bright morning sun. Right now, coffee in hand and nothing horrifying dive-bombing her head, she could see the potential. At three in the morning, not so much.
A truck pulled into her driveway. She glanced down, wondering who could be visiting her at eight on Saturday morning. It wasn’t as if...
“Crap,” she said, putting her coffee on the windowsill and glancing down at the oversized T-shirt she slept in. “Double crap.”
Zeke, her contractor. They had an appointment. Something she would have remembered if she’d had more than four hours of sleep in the past three nights.
She ripped off her T-shirt, pulled on jeans and fastened up a bra. After grabbing the same shirt she’d worn yesterday, she shoved her feet into sandals and hurried down the stairs. She paused at the second-story landing long enough to pull the shirt on
and smooth it into place.
Aware that she hadn’t showered since she’d arrived and that her hair looked like something out of Halloween 5, she was grateful she’d at least brushed her teeth. Civilization required standards. Hers might not be especially high, but at least she’d kept some.
She jumped down the last three stairs and headed for the door at a run. She pulled it open just before Zeke knocked.
“Seriously,” she said with a laugh. “You drove? You live—”
Next door. The words stayed on her tongue as her jaw dropped open. Because the guy standing in front of her wasn’t Zeke King, her contractor and neighbor.
Zeke was tall, with dark hair and a nice smile. Good looking, she supposed. But even if that exact description could be used for the man standing in front of her, nothing about them was the same.
While his height was probably within a half inch of Zeke, he looked taller. His hair was darker, his smile brighter. Sexier, she thought, carefully closing her mouth and wishing desperately she’d showered and put on makeup. Maybe that great suit that made her look as if she actually had curves and hey, boobs.
“Morning,” the man said, his voice low and smoky.
Her unpainted toes curled ever so slightly.
“You must be Andi Gordon. I’m Wade King. Zeke’s brother.”
Zeke had a brother?
There were a few lines by Wade’s eyes, and the planes of his face were more sculptured. She would guess he was older than Zeke by a couple of years. If she hadn’t spent the past decade getting her heart trampled by a no-good jerk who’d left her at the altar and then had married his secretary two weeks later, she just might have wondered if Wade was single.
“Andi?”
“What? Sorry.” She shook her head. “I’m not all here. Come on in.”
She stepped back to allow him entry into the house.
“Where are you?” he asked.
“Excuse me?”
“You said you’re not all here.”
“Oh, right. Lack of sleep. I have bats.”
Wade laughed.
She suddenly found him slightly less sexy. “I’m not kidding. I have bats and no hot water. When I’m awake I’d say the lack of hot water is the bigger problem, but flying rodents are keeping me up at night.”
He dropped his worn backpack onto the dusty floor. “You really hate bats.”
“I hate anything that flies into my hair at three in the morning. I’ve been beating them back with a broom.”
“I’d pay money to see that.”
“I’d pay money to get them gone. Do you know the percentage of bats that carry rabies?”
“No.”
“It’s really high.”
His mouth twitched. “As long as you have the actual number.”
She put her hands on her hips. “Why are you here?”
“I’m your contractor. Wade King. You really are tired.”
“I remember your name. You’re Zeke’s brother. You work together?”
“Yes. King Construction. No relation.”
“What?”
“King Construction. The Kings of California?” His tone was helpful. “They’re a big deal in— Never mind. Zeke and I work on all the jobs together. We’ll be in and out here, but I’m going to take point.” He pulled on his backpack. “I have the plans with me. Are you up to looking at them? I know you met with Zeke right after you made your offer, but I want to confirm everything before we get started with the demolition on Monday.”
“Can I have hot water and no bats?”
He flashed her a grin that made her knees go weak. “Sure. I’ll take care of both before I leave.”
“Then I’m happy to look at plans.”
* * *
Shortly after ten, Andi stood under a spray of hot water and decided that she was never going to ask for anything or complain, ever again. Her shower was heaven. She rinsed the lather out of her hair, then reached for her birthday-cake-scented shower wash and squeezed a generous dollop into her palm. The sugary fragrance surrounded her, chasing away the last of her exhaustion. As long as she had hot water and coffee, she could be a happy person.
Twenty minutes later, she had dressed in clean clothes and combed out her wet hair. She followed the sound of cursing to the third floor and stood watching as her very hunky contractor discovered she hadn’t been lying about the bats.
“See?”
“This is not a good time to be smug,” he told her, waving what looked like a butterfly net toward a dark corner of the space she’d claimed as her living room.
“Sure it is. You didn’t believe me. Oh, and I wasn’t kidding about the rabies, either. Don’t let them bite you.”
He gave her a quick glance. “Not getting bitten was the plan.”
Something dark swooped from the rafter. Wade swung the net and snagged the shadow before it could retreat behind the large armoire against the wall. Andi had to admit she was torn between his impressive eye-hand coordination and the ripple of muscles she’d seen under his worn T-shirt.
The bat fluttered in the net. Wade held the opening against the wall, so it couldn’t get out.
“Grab this, please.”
She took the handle while he pulled on gloves. “You’re not going to kill it, are you?”
“No. I’m going to take it out to the trees and let it go. I could only find this one, so once it’s gone, you should be fine.”
“Good.” She shivered. “I hope it doesn’t attack you.”
One eyebrow rose. “Me, too.”
She watched from the window. Wade appeared on her patchy lawn and walked toward a grove of trees. Seconds later, something fluttered in the leaves and he was heading back for the house.
Impressive, she thought, wishing she’d called after the first night. She could have been bat-free that much sooner.
She poured them each a cup of coffee, then settled at the small table. Wade joined her and pulled the plans out of his backpack.
They were close enough that she could inhale the clean smell of soap and fabric softener. His dark eyes were made up of a thousand shades of brown with tiny flecks of gold. Her gaze settled on his mouth as she wondered if he was a good kisser. Not that she would be able to judge. She’d been kissing Matt for a decade and look where that had gotten her.
“Here’s the plan for the main floor.”
He pushed the paper toward her and oriented it so the front door was closest to her. She leaned in and traced the various rooms. Waiting area, front reception desk, back office, lunch room, three treatment rooms, supply space.
He talked about windows and light, the materials they would use. Decisions would have to be made on paint colors and fixtures.
“We did the remodeling at Doc Harrington’s office a few years back,” he told her. “Have you met him?”
“Yes. I’ll be working there until my office is done. I start Monday.”
“Look around when you get a chance. We did some custom built-ins the nurses love. We can do them for you, too.”
She looked at Wade. “The most important thing to remember is that I’m dealing with children. I want them to be comfortable. Bad enough if they’re sick—the environment shouldn’t scare them, too. So bright, friendly colors.”
He leaned back and grinned. “Now you sound like my sister-in-law.” He motioned to the house next door. “Boston.”
“Oh, right. Because Zeke is her husband. I met her earlier this past week. She’s nice.”
“She is. And an artist. Maybe the two of you can talk about what makes one color more friendly than another.”
She studied him, aware that his eyes had crinkled in amusement. “You’re mocking me.”
“Some. We’ve got a little time unti
l we’re ready for paint.”
“I’ll be sure to get my decision made in the next couple of weeks.”
They talked logistics—what walls would be torn down, how messy everything would be. Wade assured her she could live in the house through all the construction, and she nearly believed him. She confirmed delivery dates for various pieces of equipment and gave him a list of the fixtures and appliances she’d already picked out.
“I’ll give you an update most evenings,” he told her. “I’m generally the last guy out at the end of the day.”
“A boss who works,” she murmured. “Impressive. But aren’t the long hours hard on your family?”
“They’re used to it.”
She sighed silently. So much for subtly trying to get information on whether or not he was married. The average sixteen-year-old had more dating experience than her. All she wanted to know was if Wade was as good as he looked. Oh, and if he was married, of course.
Not that she wanted a relationship. Or anything else. She’d moved to the island with the idea that she would spend the rest of her life celibate. Eventually she wouldn’t miss being with a man. After all, how could she long for what she’d never really had? She and Matt had never had what could be called a wild sex life, although right now something other than lights-out, every other Saturday night, sounded kind of fun. Not that she was going to say that out loud. Or even think it. That part of her life was over. She’d moved on. Like to a higher spiritual plane.
“Andi?”
She blinked and realized Wade was staring at her. “Hmm?”
“You okay?”
“I’m fine. A little punchy from my nights with a bat.”
“A challenge for anyone.” He rose. “Come on. I’ll show you where I was thinking we should put the kitchen.”
Sadly, that was the most exciting invitation she’d had in recent memory.
* * *
Sunday morning, Deanna paused at the top of the stairs. She could hear the laughter and conversation coming from the kitchen. It was always this way. No matter his work schedule, Colin made sure he was home on Sunday. He got up early and made breakfast for the whole family. Sometimes it was omelets and other times pancakes. Once he’d made scones from scratch.
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