“Talking about Zeke?” Deanna asked as they all took a seat.
“Yes, he’s being a jerk,” Andi said.
“Not as big a jerk as Wade.”
Andi did her best not to flinch. “It must run in the family.”
Deanna glanced between them. “What’s Wade’s issue?”
“I didn’t defend him to my mother.” Andi stared at the sandwich and wondered if she was really hungry. “She talked about him being a nice blue-collar man I could sleep with. I didn’t bother to engage because there’s no point.”
Deanna grabbed a fry. “Didn’t your mother also defend the jerk who left you at the altar?”
“Yes.”
“Did Wade hear that?”
“Probably.”
“So he knows she’s an idiot.”
Andi wasn’t sure that was helpful information. “I know. Which makes me think he’s using this as an opportunity to pull back. Not exactly news to make me happy.”
“Sorry,” Deanna said.
“Don’t be. I hid from the truth for a long time. I don’t want to do that anymore. I just thought...” She shrugged. “I liked him a lot. I thought we were going somewhere. I was working through my need to have a commitment after the first fifteen minutes. I was getting better. I like Carrie and there was potential. I guess the hardest part is I don’t think I did anything wrong. I see my parents maybe once every two years. They wouldn’t be a big part of our lives. So why not just go with the flow and then be relieved when the visit is over? But Wade doesn’t see it that way.”
Andi glanced at Boston. “Do we need to change the subject?”
“No. I’m okay. Wade’s being stupid and I’m not sure why, either.” Boston turned to Deanna. “You seem happy.”
Deanna smiled as she picked up her sandwich. “I’m doing better. I think the medication is helping and I’m making peace with various kitchen appliances.”
“Excuse me?” Andi asked.
“Sorry. Silly joke. It’s better. Colin is being nice, which gives me hope but also makes me nervous. I don’t want to think everything is going to be fine only to have him walk out. I don’t think I would survive that.”
She stared at Boston and Andi. “I’m sorry. That was insensitive.”
Boston shook her head. “Don’t you apologize. I’ve been smug about my relationship with Zeke from the day we met. I’ve had this coming for a while.”
“Still, I didn’t mean to...”
Andi leaned toward her and bumped shoulders. “Let it go. We’ll change the subject. Have you guys seen the foreman of my landscaping remodel?”
Boston laughed. “Oh, yeah. He’s adorable.”
“He’s twenty-four. Don’t get any ideas, but yes, Thad is very pretty.”
“I like that he takes his shirt off early in the day,” Deanna admitted. “All those muscles rippling in the sun.”
“Or the rain,” Boston added. “He’s one with nature. I respect that.”
“You respect his six-pack.”
“That, too. I’ve always enjoyed doing nude portraits. I wonder if he’d pose.”
Deanna and Andi laughed.
Andi realized she was hungry again and bit into her sandwich. As long as she had her friends, she thought, Sundays weren’t going to be that bad after all.
* * *
Boston sat on the floor of Andi’s waiting room. As she waited for the paint to dry in the few animals she had left to paint, she spread out squares of paper in front of her, then looked at the samples she’d been sent.
Although she hadn’t worked in nearly a year, interior designers continued to contact her, asking if she was ready to take a job. For the first time since her late pregnancy, she’d felt she could finally look at the various projects and perhaps even take one on.
She picked up a letter from a designer in Raleigh. “The woman loves blue. I’ve tried to talk her into accent colors, but she’s resisting. So anything blue. If you could put in another color, I would love you forever.”
Boston smiled, then looked at the fabric samples and paint swatches included in the box. There were also photos of possible furniture choices.
Her job was to pull it all together in a custom fabric design. She would paint a couple of different options onto small squares of fabric. The client picked one and Boston then hand-painted the length of fabric required.
It was an expensive decorating option. She charged a hundred dollars a yard for her work, and that didn’t cover the cost of fabric or shipping. What the client got in return was a unique element in a room along with the ability to say her drapes had been hand-painted by Boston Flemming.
Boston Flemming, not Boston King. She used her maiden name for her work, something Zeke had encouraged. He’d wanted to keep their businesses separate, and she’d agreed. Now she wondered if somewhere along the way, her success had become a problem.
Wade walked into the waiting room and squatted down next to her. “That’s a lot of blue.”
“This from a guy who thinks beige is a color.”
“It is a color.”
“Not a good one.” She glanced up at him. “What are you doing here? I thought you were hiding from Andi.”
“My brother and I have a bit of a dilemma,” he admitted.
“You don’t want to be here when Andi’s around, and he doesn’t want to be here when I’m around.”
Wade sat on the tarp covering the floor. “Something like that. You could give him a break.”
“I could but I won’t.”
“Why not?”
“He gave up on us.” She looked at him. “Giving up seems to run in the family.”
His expression tightened. “I’m not talking about Andi with you.”
“Not a problem. I can do the talking. You’re wrong about her. She’s sweet and funny and she cares about people. She likes you a lot, and with all your flaws, you should be grateful someone does.”
“Ouch.”
“This is not the time to be delicate. You know her mother is weird. All parents are. Why are you punishing Andi for what her mother said?”
“It wouldn’t have worked.”
“It would have worked just fine, and I think that’s what scares you. You’re so comfortable in your life. You have Carrie and your brother and me and your work. Getting involved again means putting yourself out there. Taking a chance. What if you make another mistake?”
He stared at her. “I didn’t make a mistake before.”
Boston sighed. “Sure you did. I know she wanted you to leave the island and you didn’t. I know you guys were talking about getting a divorce when she died. I know you weren’t happy.” She lightly touched his arm. “I know about her affair.”
Wade turned away. “Yeah, well, it doesn’t matter now.”
“Of course it matters. Andi’s terrified that she’s going to give her heart to a guy who won’t commit. You’re terrified you’re going to give your heart to someone who secretly wants you to be different. You’re both so damned sensitive you can’t see that you’re perfect for each other. So until you get your own issues worked out, stay out of my marriage.”
She drew in a breath and braced herself for Wade to point out she didn’t have a marriage. Not anymore. But instead he leaned in and kissed her on the forehead.
“It should have been you and me, kid. We would have gotten it right.”
She laughed. “I know, but you never did it for me. I
’m sorry to break your heart.”
“You don’t do it for me, either. But I still love you.”
“I love you more.”
He chuckled. “That might be true.” His laughter faded. “Talk to Zeke.”
“Talk to Andi.”
He stood. “You’re stubborn.” He held up his hands. “I know, I know. I am, too. I’m leaving now.”
Boston glanced at her watch and saw it was close to five. “Coward.”
“I’m a man who knows the value of a strategic retreat.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
AUDREY BIT HER lower lip. “Are you sure, Mom?”
Deanna smiled. “Yes. A thousand times, yes.”
“But it’s pay-per-view.”
“Push the button, sweetheart.”
The twins shrieked and Lucy hugged a pillow to her chest. Audrey did as requested and the movie appeared on the screen.
Just one more place where she’d been far too rigid, Deanna thought sadly, going into the kitchen to make popcorn for her girls. Okay, sure, a pay-per-view every night would get expensive, but once in a while was fine. Something she’d never believed until now.
She poured the larger bowl of popcorn into two smaller bowls and carried them into the family room. The girls were already mesmerized by the cartoon playing on the screen.
“Enjoy,” Deanna said, and returned to the kitchen. She glanced toward the ceiling and thought about taking a bowl of popcorn up to Madison. What stopped her was that somehow her oldest would turn the gesture into something awful, and right now Deanna couldn’t face another glare or eye roll.
She was doing better. She could feel it. She was less tense all the time and sleeping better. The girls were more spontaneous and happy. Except for Madison, of course. But it was the weekend and that meant Colin was home. While she liked having him around, it also made her nervous.
“The girls watching their movie?”
She jumped and turned to see the man in question lounging in the doorway of the kitchen. He wore jeans and a T-shirt. Casual clothes that looked good on him. Sexy. A wave of longing swept through, settling in her heart and okay, maybe a little lower than that, too.
She wanted to make love with him, but just as much, she wanted to be held. Held in a way that made her feel safe. Comfortable. She wanted not to worry that he was leaving. She wanted them to be married again.
“They’re enjoying their cartoon,” she told him. “Except for Madison.”
“At twelve, she’s far too sophisticated for that sort of thing,” he said.
She nodded.
“We’ve both been so busy with the kids we haven’t had a chance to talk,” he said. “Why don’t you join me for a glass of wine and we can catch up?”
Deanna wondered if she looked as surprised as she felt. “Um, sure. That would be nice.”
She followed him into his study, where he had a bottle of merlot and two wineglasses waiting. She settled in a corner of the sofa, then wondered if she should have sat more in the middle. Or...
She sighed. She’d known Colin for nearly sixteen years. It shouldn’t be this difficult. But it was.
He handed her a glass, then sat on the sofa, as well. He angled toward her. They were close, but not touching, and she knew how much she needed his touch. Just one kiss, she thought longingly.
“The girls are doing well,” she said. “I can’t believe how fast summer is going by. The school emailed their supply list already.”
“We never did plan a vacation,” he said.
“I know. It’s been busy and with everything else happening...”
Colin sipped his wine. “I talked to my boss about taking over the sales department. He’s ready when I am. Without the commission and overtime for travel, we’re looking at about a fifteen percent pay cut. I’ve been running the numbers. It’ll make things tight.”
“That’s okay,” she said quickly. “I’ve sent out my résumé to a couple of places. I have an interview next week at the Blackberry Island Inn. They want a bookkeeper for about thirty hours a week. I don’t have all the details, but it sounds like I could do some of the work from home, which means I could be around for the girls. It’s a big raise and more hours, so I would make up the difference from your salary and cover what I was making before.”
His blue gaze was steady. “Are you sure?”
“Very. We’ve talked about this, Colin. You need to be here with your girls. They miss you.” She cleared her throat. “I, um, miss you, too.”
He put his wine on the coffee table and reached for her free hand. “I’d like to be around more,” he admitted.
His fingers were warm and strong. Familiar, she thought, but it had been so long since he’d touched her. Her stomach flipped over a couple of times and she wanted to both throw herself at him and run away. She settled on putting her glass on the end table and steadying her breathing.
“I’ll talk to my boss when I go in on Monday,” he said. “The transition should only take a couple of weeks. Then I’ll be home every night.”
She risked glancing at him and found him watching her. “You won’t know what to do with yourself.”
“I’ll figure it out. I should be able to take over some of the driving duties with the girls.”
“That would be nice. The twins want to take a dance class.”
Was it her imagination or was he moving toward her? He still held her hand in his, which was nice, but suddenly she didn’t know what to do with her other hand. Or where to look. Or what to think.
“We could go skiing,” she blurted.
Colin straightened. “What?”
“If we’re not going to get a vacation this summer, we could go skiing over Christmas. Rent a house in Sandpoint. It’s not too far. You and I haven’t been skiing since Audrey was born. I’m not sure I even remember how, but that could be fun.”
He smiled. “Skiing would be nice. Let’s talk about it later. Right now I want to kiss you.”
She swallowed. “You do?”
“Very much.”
“I wasn’t sure. I hoped you did, but with everything that happened I didn’t know.” She leaned forward, then drew back. “You bought me all that pretty lingerie and I never wore it. I’m sorry. I should have. It’s just that sex was so good and that scared me. I felt vulnerable. But if I pretended I didn’t want us to make love, I wasn’t so scared. And after a while I kind of lost that part of me and I didn’t have to pretend anymore.”
Her husband looked slightly bemused. “Are you trying to distract me?”
“Not at all. I’m apologizing.” She grabbed on to the little courage she’d managed to muster and said, “It would be really great if you kissed me now.”
“Yes, it would.”
He leaned in and his mouth settled on hers. His lips were firm, yet gentle, claiming her with just enough passion to make her want to squirm. Low in her stomach she felt an ache that had been absent for years.
His tongue gently brushed against hers. She met him stroke for stroke. He dropped his free hand to her hip and moved it up her side, across her ribs, to her breasts. Her nipples were already hard and tingled when he moved his fingers against them.
The door to the study opened. “Dad, I need to—”
Deanna jumped and drew back. Colin looked up.
“What is it, Madison?”
Deanna didn’t know what to think. She was embarrassed and scared and aroused and confused. The combination
didn’t sit well on her stomach.
“I, uh, wanted to talk to you about a class I was thinking of taking.”
Deanna glanced at her daughter and saw Madison still in the doorway. Her daughter glanced between them. The yearning and hope in her eyes quickly faded to resignation. As if she’d learned not to expect too much.
Deanna stood and smiled at her oldest. “It’s okay, honey. This is a good time. Your dad can help you.”
She escaped before either of them could say anything. When she’d reached the safety of the bedroom, she sat on the edge of the chair in the corner and covered her face with her hands.
Madison might hate her, but it wasn’t for the reasons she thought. Her daughter was terrified her parents were splitting up—that she would have to deal with a divorce. She wasn’t pushing Colin because she wanted her father to leave, but because if it was going to happen, she preferred sooner rather than later. She wanted to know. She was her mother’s daughter, and so for her, the worst thing in the world was uncertainty.
* * *
At five-thirty the next morning, Colin moved quietly through the bedroom to the bathroom. He carefully closed the door before turning on the light. Deanna listened to the sound of him shaving, then brushing his teeth. He turned on the shower. She hadn’t slept much the previous night. She’d been devastated to realize how much she’d hurt her daughter and not sure what the next step was with Colin. She was pretty confident that if Madison hadn’t walked in they would have made love.
He’d made his move and she’d run, which meant the next move was up to her. Sometime in the past couple of hours, she’d decided what it was.
She got up and went into the bathroom. She’d already used the restroom and brushed her own teeth about a half hour before. Now she stood by the shower and waited until Colin noticed her. He finished rinsing his hair, then opened his eyes.
“You’re up early,” he said over the spray of water.
She nodded.
She was wearing a nightgown with skinny straps that slid easily off her shoulders. She pushed them down and let the garment fall to the floor. His eyes widened slightly. She opened the door of the shower and stepped inside. Fear was there, but she ignored it. She wanted her marriage to work, and part of making that happen was being willing to take risks. Besides, the sight of Colin’s naked body was a fairly heady turn-on.
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