by Gia Riley
“I don’t even know who he is, Trey.”
“And that’s how it’s staying.”
The thought of him getting his hands on her and putting her to work makes me nauseous. He’s the boss for a reason. He doesn’t do favors or accept bribes. He puts you to work. Winnie would end up on a corner or used as bait to get money owed to him. I’ve seen girls die on his watch, trying to get a thousand bucks from guys who didn’t have ten.
“Do you hear me?” I ask her.
“Ouch, you’re hurting me,” she says.
And I realize I’m gripping her arms pretty damn hard.
“I’m sorry. Jesus. I didn’t mean to hurt you, Winn.”
That’s what the thought of her getting caught up in my world does to me, and I know I have to shut this down, no matter how mad it makes her. We can’t run, and she can’t hide. Not yet.
“It’s okay. You didn’t mean it.”
She’s always given me the benefit of the doubt. While I love her for it, it also scares the shit out of me. Because her heart’s too good sometimes. She’s not tough enough to make it on her own yet. What seventeen-year-old girl is? She’s experienced more than most, but nobody’s ever prepared for the real world when it comes at them sooner and faster than they were expecting.
She’s not going to like this, but I say it anyway, “I need you to go back to Sunshine Place, Winn. That’s the only way you’ll be safe.” It’s the right move to make right now.
With a deep breath and blink of her eyes, the strap of her duffel bag is over her arm, and she’s headed for the door. “I’ll figure it out,” she says. “Don’t worry about me.”
I run after her before she can get outside. The last thing we need is an argument in the middle of the afternoon when she’s supposed to be at school.
“Where are you going?”
A moody little shrug of her shoulders is all I get. She’s hurt. I get it.
“I don’t know yet.”
“Do you have your phone?”
“Yeah, but considering Jasper was paying the bill, I don’t think I’ll have service much longer.”
“Shit.” I didn’t think of that.
After the stunt he pulled here, I’d be surprised if the thing still worked. He was so angry when I got outside, his chest was heaving, and he looked like he’d already gone a couple of rounds with someone twice his size. But he still stood up to me when I went after him, and if he hadn’t said Winnie’s name mid-punch, I’d have done worse than blacken his eye and twist his arm behind his back.
“I’ll call you from a burner phone in an hour, so my call can’t be traced. Chances are, Jasper won’t do anything about the phone until school’s out anyway.”
“Okay.”
“If you go back to Sunshine Place, call me right away, so I know you’re safe.”
“How many times do I have to tell you that I’m not going back?”
I don’t care how mad she is right now. I grab her hand and pull her against my chest. The bag falls from her shoulder and lands on the floor next to her.
“Don’t get smart with me, Winn. The thought of you wandering around out there is already killing me. A fight won’t help.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You’re scared. But I am, too. Think about going back, and if you really can’t do it, then go to the playground, hide in a slide, and wait for me to call you.”
She blinks a couple of times and tries not to smile. “You knew I hid in the slides?”
“I told you, I was always watching.”
“You’re such a freak,” she says with a laugh.
“You like it,” I tell her.
“Yeah, I know.” And then she hoists her bag onto her shoulder and presses her lips against mine. The kiss isn’t long enough, but it’s pretty close to perfect. “I’ve gotta go,” she says in a rush. Then, she’s pushing her way through the door.
“The playground. Don’t forget.”
“There’s something I have to do before that. But don’t worry; I’ll be okay.”
“Don’t worry.”
I’ll never stop worrying about her. Not until we’re far away from Carillon.
Twenty-Five
Jasper
He’s going down.
I won’t let him get away with it.
Someday soon, Winnie will hate him as much as I do.
She’s mine.
And I won’t give up until she’s climbing through my window, begging me to hold her again.
I’m coming for you.
Twenty-Six
Winnie
I hide out at the playground like Trey told me to until it’s dark enough that nobody can tell who I am. Trey still hasn’t called, and when I checked to see if my phone was still working, there was no dial tone. Jasper must have forgotten to pay the bill, or he cut me off. I’m guessing he figured it wasn’t getting him anything out of our friendship anymore, so he should save his pennies. I mean, he told the whole school I was a slut. I think that was about as big of a fuck-you as he could have given me. But he knows the phone is my lifeline, and that’s why it might sting a little more than the rumors he spread.
Trey will freak out if he gets to the playground, and I’m not there, but I walk toward The Whip anyway. Not wanting to be seen wasn’t the only reason I waited until it was dark outside. I knew that, if I saw the bloodstain, I’d be paralyzed with fear again, and I’d never make it inside. I couldn’t risk it, so I waited. I’m thankful I did because I’m no longer in control of my body, and my eyes zone in on the exact spot where I passed out. I can’t see any marks, and I keep walking.
Ace must see me approaching on the camera because the intercom says, “Come in,” before I press the button.
I haven’t been inside since my last shift, and I prepare myself for the same looks I got when I went back to school.
But that’s the difference between high school and the rest of the world; nobody here cares. The few people I pass probably have problems bigger than mine.
Ace meets me at the door to his office and points to the chair in front of his desk. “Take a seat,” he says. “What’s up?”
“I need a job,” I tell him.
I figured, if I cut right to the chase, he’d take me seriously. If I can show him that I’m not the fragile little girl who fell apart and landed in the hospital, then maybe he’ll give me a chance. I know I’m as much of a risk to him as I am to Trey, but business is business, and I can make him a lot of money, just like we had planned to before the shooting happened.
“What’s with the bag?” he asks.
“I need a place to stay. Just for a little while until I have enough to afford something of my own.”
He pulls his phone out and scrolls through whatever he’s looking at with his thumb. I sit up a little straighter because I know what’s coming.
“Do you want me to call my brother? He’s off tonight, said he wasn’t feeling well, but if I tell him you’re here, he’ll come in.”
“No,” I say in a rush.
Jasper’s the last person I want to see, and if he tells Ace about what I do in the trailer or anything about Trey, I’ll lose any chance I have at working here.
“I’m sure he’s not really sick, Winnie. Just wanted a night off because he’s still a punk with no responsibilities. God, I miss being young.”
“Please, don’t tell him I’m here.”
He sets his phone down and then rests his elbows on the desk. “You and my brother were attached at the hip. Now, he gets weird when I mention your name, and you don’t want to see him. What happened?”
“It’s a long story.”
“I have time.”
I don’t. “Look, Ace, if you don’t have anything for me, then I have to go find someone who does.”
He stares at me and searches my eyes so intently, I almost change my mind and run for the door. But running is what got me in this position, and I can’t keep doing it. Nobody’s ever going to chase me, so if I
want to prove to Trey that I can get a job and make enough money to put a roof over my head, then I have to stay.
Even if all I can afford is another shitty trailer in the park, at least it’ll be mine. I’ve worked enough babysitting jobs for the clerk in the housing office here in the park that I think I can get her to falsify some paperwork and put the trailer in my name. At least then nobody can trace it back to Trey and get him in trouble. But all that depends on Ace saying yes. Without a job at The Whip, I can’t afford anything.
“Please,” I whisper. “Take a chance, just this once.”
“I take chances every day, Winnie. And, after what happened to you here, I can’t imagine why you’d ever want to step foot back in this place. So, tell me, what’s changed? How are you sitting here, breathing, when you almost died in the parking lot?”
I shrug like it’s no big deal because, if he gets a glimpse at the fear I carry around with me, I’ll be ushered right back to the parking lot that almost took me out. The fact that I’m not having a full-blown panic attack should be enough, but Ace needs more.
“I’m on my own now.”
“What happened with the home? Jasper said you were in a good place across town with some other kids your age.”
“I was. But it didn’t work out.” I should tell him how his brother ruined everything for me, but I’m afraid that, if I talk badly about Jasper, I’ll lose my only shot at freedom.
Even if Ace has nothing for me, I can hide out in the restroom until they close up for the night. Nobody will ever know I’m here. I’ll have a kitchen full of food, restrooms, and a shower. It’d be like staying in a hotel, only without the expensive bill.
“You’re not old enough to do much besides the job you had before. I can let you bus some tables and run food after things die down a little. I imagine your social worker is looking for you.”
I nod, scared that being on the run is a game changer for Ace. It’s not like I’m actually running. I’m still in Carillon. I’m just doing things my way and staying where I want to stay. As long as I’m safe, Cindy and the social workers shouldn’t care.
“I promise it’ll be like I’m not even here. No trouble.”
“What about Jasper? You’ll be working alongside him again. Won’t that be weird for you?”
My mouth’s so dry, it’s hard to swallow. I’ve never put myself out there like this, and what I’m about to say shocks me just as much as it’s about to shock Ace. But I have no choice. I can’t work with Jasper and pretend like he didn’t hurt me. For all I know, working with him could make my life worse. I can only be so invisible, and that’s why I need to do something else. I need to stay away from the kitchen.
“I want to dance, Ace.”
“What?” he spits. He wasn’t expecting me to ever go there.
Rock bottom is a funny place though, and you do what you have to do to dig your way back out.
“You passed out all those flyers with my face on them. People from three towns over were coming to your bar to see me. If the shooting hadn’t happened, I would have been on your stage, making you a whole lot of money. I can still do that.”
“Tess was the reason for that, Winnie. She’s not here anymore, and you owe her nothing.”
“I’m not doing this for Tess. This time, it’s for me.” And the more cash I bring in for Ace, the more I’ll pocket. A couple of times onstage, and I’ll be able to afford a trailer and all the bills that go along with it. I’ll be set.
Ace stands up and peers through the blinds like he’s already worried his door’s about to get busted down by the cops. I’ve never seen him so nervous.
“Is this some kind of setup?”
“No, Ace. This is me asking a friend for a favor.”
“It’s too dangerous, Winnie. You’ll get noticed onstage. At least, if you stay in the kitchen, there’s a better chance that nobody will find you. The stage puts a huge target on your back with the cops and with the other girls.”
I’m not worried about the other girls. Most of them are nicer than Tess ever was, and if I stay out of their way, they won’t notice me. All they want is their time onstage to make enough to feed their habits and their children. At least with me, I’m not old enough to take their men and do any extra favors. I can bring them in, and they can reap the rewards.
“Ace, most of the dancers wear wigs. They cover their faces in so much makeup, they end up being completely different versions of themselves. I can become someone else for a little while, too.”
His movements become less agitated, and he might even be growing a little patience. He liked the idea a couple of weeks ago. His mind couldn’t have changed that fast.
“How do you plan on getting by Jasper? Because, if he sees you onstage, he’ll pull you off himself. And then he’ll try to kick my ass for allowing it.”
“He won’t care anymore. Things are different.”
Ace sits back in his chair and laughs. He’s not laughing at me, but he’s not laughing with me either. “I’m starting to think you need your eyes checked. My brother is so fucking in love with you, it’s sickening. His world revolves around you, Winnie. I don’t know how you can’t see that.”
If smashing windows and spreading vicious rumors around school is how Jasper shows his love, then he has a twisted heart.
“Let me worry about Jasper. I can make this happen whether he agrees with it or not. It’s not his call. It’s yours and mine.”
I can almost see the wheels turning inside Ace’s head. He knows it’s wrong to let a minor on the stage, especially one dodging the cops, but money’s always been his sole motivator. He can’t deny the dollar signs and the cash flow I’d bring in. Someone new. Someone nobody’s seen before. Someone so unexpected, word would spread like wildfire, maybe even more than it did the last time I was supposed to dance.
Does that make me feel cheap?
Yes.
Do I hate myself for making this decision?
Of course.
But does it get me closer to a life with Trey?
Hopefully.
If I play my cards right, I can solve our problems. Trey’s felt helpless, like his hands are tied because of the law, so if I can give him me without any of the risks, I’ll suffer through three weeks of dancing until my pockets are full and we can escape.
Trey just can’t find out. And I haven’t figured out how I’ll make that happen, but there’s gotta be a way.
“Do we have a deal, Ace?” My voice radiates confidence, but my knees are shaking beneath the desk. If I were to stand up right now, I’d fall into a heap on the floor.
“We have a deal,” he says with less hesitation. “Don’t make me regret it.”
“I’ve got this.”
He rubs his hands over his face and then pushes his chair away from the desk. “You can stay at my place tonight. We’ll work with one of the girls to get you set up with everything you need. If you’re ready, you can dance tomorrow night.”
“I’ll be ready,” I tell him.
I have to be. The rest of my life is on the line.
Twenty-Seven
Trey
I’ve searched the playground ten times, and there’s no sign Winnie’s ever been here. The tube slides are empty, no visible footprints lead in any direction, and her phone’s completely dead. I knew better than to let her go without a way to get in touch because, now, she’s wandering around the trailer park in the dark with no place to go.
Another twenty minutes go by, and I’m no closer to tracking her down than I was when I started, so I park my bike in the driveway and wait inside the trailer, just in case she comes back. I told her not to, but when does Winnie ever listen? She’s used to being on her own, doing whatever she needs to do to keep her head above water. For that reason, I knew foster care would be a struggle for her. Rules, boundaries, curfews—she was only used to Tess’s skewed take on those.
I wish she had stayed at Sunshine Place for a couple of more weeks. Maybe she did
n’t click with everyone in the house, but living there was still better than drifting around town, waiting for the sun to go down so that we could be together for a little while.
Fuck, where is she?
Another call to her dead phone, and then I chuck mine across the room. I should check the hospital or maybe her foster home, but if I go there, it’ll only cause more trouble. The last thing I need is another person tracking my movements. I can’t do shit but stay here and wait.
The phone plays the ringtone I set aside for unknown numbers, and usually, I’d let it go to voice mail. But it could be Winnie, so I get up and try to decipher the number.
Nothing comes to mind, and before I even get it to my ear, I hear her say, “It’s me, Trey. Don’t be mad.”
Mad? That’s not a strong enough word to describe what I’d feel if something had happened to her.
Seeing her on the ground at The Whip destroyed me. I was positive I’d never see her again and that, by the time I got to the hospital, they’d tell me she’d passed away. What would I have done then? I’d have run as far away as I could get without her, and that would have made life pointless. She’s why I’ve stuck around as long as I have. She’s the reason I look forward to tomorrow because she’s one day older and one day closer to being with me for real.
“Why weren’t you where I told you to be?”
“Trey,” she whispers, “don’t treat me like a child.”
She doesn’t want this to be about age, yet she’s always reminding me about the difference. I get that telling her to wait for me on a damn playground is about as sick as it gets, but our options are so limited in places she can hide, so what was I supposed to do? Tell her to wait for me on the porch for the world to see?
“This has nothing to do with age. I went looking for you and panicked when I couldn’t find you.”
“I’m sorry.”
I take a deep breath and decide this isn’t worth a fight. She’s in one piece, and we have too much to figure out to deal with an argument.
“I’m glad you’re okay, Winn. Where are you?”