When I Look to the Sky

by Barbara S. Stewart

  Everyone was mingling as they waited for them to arrive. Carlee looked up and saw Adaleigh on the other side of the room. She was happy to see her there; she’d been part of their lives for a long time. As they made their way around the room greeting people, Carlee went to her and they hugged.

  “Look at you, all glowly and stuff!” Adaleigh told her.

  “I’m so glad you’re here! You look all glowly yourself,” Carlee laughed. “Addy, this is Matthew.”

  “My pleasure,” he said. “I believe we just missed you at the studio the last time I was home.”

  “Well, I’ve sure heard a lot about you, and not just from this one,” she laughed gesturing to Carlee. “You’ve made quite an impression on the Papa Bear,” she said and laughed. “This is Hank Chester, my fiancé.”

  “It’s a pleasure,” he said extending his hand. “I believe we’re here to take notes,” he laughed.

  “When is the big day?” Carlee asked, excited.

  “We haven’t set a date yet,” Adaleigh responded as Andy joined them.

  “Chester,” Andy said shaking his hand.

  “Addy, beautiful as always. So glad you made it,” Andy said and kissed her cheek.

  Carlee and Matthew continued through the room, greeting their family and friends before the meal. She was happy to find Mark Jones, Kimmy’s cousin and the drummer for Traveler there - another member of her family. Finally, Cook entered and indicated that he was ready to serve. The music was soft and pleasant. The meal was incredible. The Machus was the perfect choice. And Carlee loved it all.

  Andy, Nathan and Mark disappeared for a few minutes. When they returned Andy and Nathan both had guitars, and Mark had a snare drum. The White’s staff had pulled chairs to the front of the room, and the three men sat down. Softly they began playing. Matthew sat holding Carlee’s hand in his lap.

  Andy began to sing “Won’t You.” Carlee saw tears in his eyes as he sang, and she cried. Geni saw the tears and looked at Matthew, saw the love in his eyes, and she cried too. Carlee rose when they finished singing and met Andy in the middle of the room; Matthew followed. Andy wrapped her in his arms, and then he went to Matthew and hugged him.

  They served more of the Machus as Brian and Thomas rose. Thomas spoke first, turning toward Carlee.

  “What a breath of fresh air you’ve brought to this family. Your passion for others has made all of us love stronger in our own relationships. Our dad fell in love with you the first day you walked through the door. I’m only sorry he didn’t live to witness this special moment as you two begin your lives together. Matthew, he would be so proud of the man you’ve become.”

  “Even if he was a pain in the butt when he was little,” Brian said, and the rest of the room laughed.

  Thomas, the serious one; Brian the joker, Matthew smiled.

  “I wondered what kind of woman you would spend your life with. I think we all hoped it would be Carlee when you first shared her with us,” Brian continued. He turned to Carlee, “I knew for sure that you were the one the night of the ‘formal’ Taco Tico date. We were not honored to know your mama, or your dad, but Andy has shared a treasure with all of us. We will all be proud to share, and watch you and Matthew grow old together.” Many tears flowed at the loving words shared by Matthew’s brothers.

  Carlee and Matthew visited with friends and family after the meal. Carlee made a fuss and loved on Percy and Megs, “Look how beautiful you are!” she told them.

  Geni went to Carlee and hugged her. “This is all so beautiful; I can’t wait to see what you have in store for us tomorrow.”

  Finally, Cook entered the room pushing a beautiful wrought-iron cart with the small, three-tiered wedding cake. It was decorated with pale yellow frosting and white daisies. On top of the cake was a crystal heart, a gift from Nanny and Pops, surrounded by white carnations and daisies. Cook called for Matthew and Carlee to come make the first cut. He handed Carlee a Waterford crystal cake cutter, “A gift from me and the missus,” he whispered in Carlee’s ear.

  “Thank you,” she hugged him.

  Matthew took her hand and together they cut the first slice.

  Carlee held his hand tight, before he reached for the cake. “Don’t you get that all over me,” she scolded.

  He laughed, and said, “Let’s do it like we are planning the rest of our lives, together.”

  “Aren’t you just the sweetest thing?” Carlee said and everyone laughed.

  They both picked up a bite of cake. Matthew put his other arm around her waist and pulled her closer. They fed the cake to each other, and Matthew pulled her closer for a kiss, licking frosting from her lips as their friends and family laughed.

  Staff came in and quickly rearranged the rooms to allow dancing. This was a surprise for Carlee from Matthew. There was a selection of music that Matthew had put together for the evening.

  When the first song began, he took Carlee’s hand. It was Van Morrison, one of her favorites. He wrapped her in his arms as the classic; “Have I Told You Lately That I Love You” began to play. In his arms, Carlee cried as he softly sang the words to her.

  The next song was Nat King Cole, a special request by Andy when Matthew asked if he’d like any special music selections added. Andy took Carlee in his arms and kissed the top of her head as she snuggled against his chest and they danced to “Unforgettable.” After a few minutes, Matthew joined them to dance with his mom.

  The floor was then open for everyone to dance, and they did. Even Pops danced with Carlee, and Matthew with Nanny. Andy danced with Geni several times and with Carlee every chance he got. Carlee noticed him with Geni, and she liked it.

  Matthew made plans with Cook to freeze the top layer of cake for them. The hotel was storing the gifts until Matthew and Carlee would return to the flat.

  Around eleven that night, everyone said good night, all looking forward to the festivities in the morning. Those staying at White’s, filled the elevator to go to their rooms. When they reached their floor, everyone departed the elevator. Matthew quickly pulled Carlee back, pushing the button for the lobby.

  “What are you doing?” she laughed, as he hurried her out the front door and led her to a bench at Green’s Park.

  “Seems like this bench is our spot,” he said, and pulled her to him for a kiss. “I just needed five minutes alone. Have I told you that I’m crazy about you?” It was chilly; he slipped his coat off, wrapped it around her shoulders, and eased her a little closer as they sat there.

  “You have,” she laughed.

  “Carlee tonight was perfect. I love you more and more each moment, not day - moment. I’m so excited about every tomorrow, and I can’t wait to wake up with you Sunday morning when you are Mrs. Matthew Davis.”

  “We think differently,” she laughed. “I can’t wait to go to bed with you tomorrow night as Mrs. Matthew Davis.” She paused, nuzzled his cheek and looked lovingly into his eyes. “Matthew, I love you so much.”

  They sat on the bench a few minutes longer, Matthew’s arm around her. Finally, he pulled her into his arms for another kiss. “I’d better get you back,” he said.

  In the elevator he kissed her once more, a long passionate kiss. When the doors opened, he walked her to the door of the suite she would share with Andy and said good night. He made his way down the hall to his Mom’s room.

  She was already dressed for bed when he entered. “What a beautiful evening,” Geni said.

  “It was,” Matthew smiled thinking about it all.

  “Matthew, thank you for sharing this evening with me; I’m glad not to be alone.”

  “I love you Mom…”

  Carlee entered the suite where Andy waited. “Come sit with me,” he said. She walked over and sat on the sofa beside him.

  “Sweet, sweet girl, I love you so much. Matthew is a lucky man. Just always remember, I loved you first.” He thought about Pops saying those same words to him about Beth so many years ago. “You look like an angel,” he said. “Tonig
ht was beautiful, special.”

  “Thank you. I wanted it to be special in its own way to everyone. I saw lots of tears. Aunt Kimmy, Nanny, Pops, Roddy, Dina… you,” she said, and placed her hand on his cheek.

  “Papa, I’ve been so blessed. After Mama, while my dad didn’t know what to do with, or about me, after he died… Thank you for the beautiful life I’ve grown up in. You didn’t have to, but you loved me like I was yours.”

  “Carlee, you are mine. It may have started that way because of your mama, but it ended up that way because of you. I love you so much sometimes it hurts. Matthew told me not long ago, when we were talking about you, that he didn’t know you could actually love someone so much it hurt. I’m here to tell that I know it for a fact. First your mama when I screwed up, and then when she allowed me back,” he paused. “Then when she was gone and I had to give you back to your dad.”

  He took a big, deep breath to continue, “I prayed every day that he would honor her wishes and keep me in your life. When he did,” he stopped again, trying to keep it together. “When he did, I thanked God, and then when he died, I thanked God that you knew how much I loved you, and you chose to spend the next part of your life with me. Now, while I’m sad because it means you are leaving me, I will share you with Matthew. I am proud of the man you chose. I told you right from the beginning that I liked him. But it’s more, Carlee. I love him, because he loves you, and there’s no question in my mind how much he loves you.”

  “I didn’t know where you went when we came back upstairs and you disappeared. I looked out the window; you can see that bench in the park from here. That bench seems to be an important place – I’ve seen you there before. But tonight, the vision of the two of you there was so beautiful.” He smiled and pulled his phone from his pocket and showed her the picture he snuck of them. “I prayed you’d still be sitting just like that until I figured the damn camera out,” he laughed.

  “I’m going to bed now and cry myself to sleep,” he laughed. “Wake me in the morning. I need a few more minutes alone with you before I share you with Matthew,” he said, and then added “forever.”

  “Papa, I love you.”

  “Carlee Elizabeth, you just don’t know,” he said.

  She set the clock and went to bed. As she slept, Andy stood in the doorway, and watched, just as he’d done with her mama all those years ago and in his head, heard a song from Les Miserables…

  She was never mine to keep.

  She is youthful, she is free.

  Love is the garden of the young

  Let it be... let it be...

  A heart full of love

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR ~ Goin’ to the Chapel

  Saturday morning, Andy had coffee delivered, and Cook sent brown-sugar scones. Carlee joined him at the table. “Just one cup for me; I don’t wanna have to pee,” she laughed.

  “I have another gift for you,” he said. “You don’t have to wear it, but I want you to have it.” He reached in his pocket and pulled out a velvet pouch. Inside was the engagement ring he’d given Beth.

  “Really, Papa? Today you had to make me cry like this?” she laughed.

  She slipped the ring on the finger of her right hand and went to him. She curled up on his lap, hugged him, and cried.

  After coffee, Carlee went to shower and get her things ready. Finally, she grabbed her bag and went to the door to leave.

  “Papa,” she paused, looking back at him. “I’ll see you downstairs in an hour and a half. When I open the door you be all handsome and stuff; I’ll be waiting for you.”

  Jenna and Marissa were already there when she arrived. Make-up and hair done, they were in their slips, ready to slip their dresses over their heads.

  “Are you ready for all of this?” Jenna asked.

  “Way past,” Carlee said with a happy laugh.

  “Well, come on then, let’s get this thing going!” Marissa squealed.

  Carlee stripped and slipped into a robe. She sat down and did her make up as Jenna ‘dusted’ them all, across their shoulders and chest, with the ‘Pixie Dust’ from her wedding.

  Marissa took a strand of pearls and pulled Carlee’s hair into a loose ponytail. Including the pearls in the hair tie, she loosely twisted the ponytail and the pearls into a knot on top of Carlee’s head.

  “Marissa, that’s beautiful!” Jenna said.

  “I love it! Something borrowed,” Carlee smiled, referring to the pearls.

  She held her hand out in front of her, admiring the engagement ring Matthew had given her, and then the other hand, with the ring that had been Beth’s. “Something old…”

  Jenna recognized the diamond on her right hand and hugged her.

  She slipped the robe off and stepped into lace panties and ‘Matthew’s surprise’, Marissa and Jenna helped her slip into the dress and she put on the silver sandals.

  “Something new!” she laughed.

  She turned to the mirror as Dan Patrick knocked lightly on the door. “Wow! Is that really me?” she said as Jenna let him in.

  “Carlee, it is you, and you look beautiful,” he laughed.

  He took some candid photos as the girls finished dressing. Carlee slipped the earrings Matthew had given her, in her ears, and then Jenna helped slip the blue satin garter from The Bridal Shoppe on her leg as Dan took a few more pictures. “Something blue!” Carlee exclaimed and they all laughed.

  Dan took a few formal photos of the girls together. One last shot of Jenna and Marissa kissing Carlee’s cheeks, and they were on their way to meet Thomas and Brian. Dan took a few more posed photos of Carlee alone.

  Finally, Carlee made the call. “I’m ready, Papa! Are you?”

  “No,” he said, honestly. “But I’ll be there in five minutes.”

  While they waited for Andy, Dan gave her a peek of the pictures he’d taken. “Carlee, these are beautiful,” he told her as they looked.

  When he knocked, Dan opened the door to let Andy in. He took several pictures of the two of them together.

  “I’ll see you there,” Dan said, giving them a moment alone.

  “Papa! My, my, my! You look so handsome.”

  “Carlee…” He waited a minute before he could say another word. “You are beautiful…”

  “We’d better go, or we’re both gonna be gushers,” she said linking her arm through his to guide him to the door.

  Jenna, Marissa, Brian and Thomas were waiting. Carlee peeked; everyone was already seated. Nathan was at the front of the room. He gave Thomas the thumbs-up, and Carlee saw Matthew rise from the chair beside his mom. He walked to wait for her where the ceremony was about to take place. When she saw him there waiting for her, a big smile crept across her face. He looked down, overcome with emotion when he saw her.

  Nathan started playing and singing “Marry Me” as Marissa and Thomas made their way to where Matthew stood; Brian and Jenna followed. Carlee took a deep breath and grabbed Andy’s hand and followed. With each step they took, tears slid down Andy’s cheeks. Carlee squeezed his hand as they walked. “Papa, I love you,” she leaned into him and whispered.

  As they made their way past, she saw the staff from White’s and Six, then friends and family. She saw Deb and Michael. Dean Rollins was there with his wife and Allison Mayheart… She saw Dina, Roddy, and Vince, all with tears in their eyes. Adaleigh, Chester, and Marco were there, smiling at them as they passed. Kimmy’s cousin, Mark Jones was there. Kimmy was crying; Nanny and Pops were, as well. She looked over and Percy and Megs were waving; Angela was trying to settle them. Carlee smiled and winked. Geni had tears in her eyes too. As they got closer, she looked at Matthew and had to look down to catch her breath as she saw the tears in his eyes too.

  The Magistrate waited as Andy hugged Carlee. He didn’t want to let her go. “I love you,” he told her.

  “To the moon and back,” she replied, kissing his cheek.

  Finally, he placed her hand in Matthew’s. He turned to Matthew, hugged him, and whispered in hi
s ear; “Cherish her as the gem she is,” he said.

  Matthew hugged him back and kissed his cheek as he turned to go. Andy took his seat between Kimmy and Lane, and Nanny and Pops.

  With her hand in his, Matthew turned Carlee to face the Magistrate. “You are beautiful,” he whispered. “I love you, Carlee.”

  “I love you, right back,” she said, and the Magistrate smiled.

  “Friends and family, we stand before you on this beautiful morning in the day of our Lord, the 24th of March, in the year 2018, to join Matthew Aaron Davis and Carlee Elizabeth Oliver-Stevens in marriage. From the book of Ruth in the Holy Bible, I read from Chapter 1, verse 16…”

  Carlee looked into Matthew’s eyes and couldn’t believe they were finally there.

  “For where you go, I will go,” the Magistrate continued to read. As he spoke, Matthew looked at Carlee. She looked more beautiful to him than he could ever imagine possible. She winked at him, and her brown eyes sparkled as she did.

  At last, Matthew repeated, “With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.”

  He slipped the ring on her finger. Carlee looked at him, noticing the gold band as the ring Andy had given her mama’s when they married. She smiled, squeezing his hand, and glanced back to Andy.

  “…to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish,” Carlee repeated looking into Matthew’s eyes.

  The magistrate continued, “…and the poet Gibran said:

  Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.

  To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks to another day of loving.