When I Look to the Sky

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When I Look to the Sky Page 31

by Barbara S. Stewart


  She laughed and yelled back, “I love you, Matthew Davis!”

  “I love you back, wife!”

  The security guards tried not to smile, tried not to laugh, but it was unavoidable.

  ~ ~ ~

  The next weekend, Carlee was headed to Jacksonville. She’d already been home and had most of what she was shipping from there on the way to London. The closer her departure, the more she and Andy struggled. Carlee was ready to start her life with Matthew, but leaving Andy was finally sinking in. When they were in Orlando, Geni suggested he come to Jacksonville for the weekend.

  Done with class, Carlee was on her way to Geni’s by eleven. She’d loaded her car with items to send in the last load of things shipping from Geni’s. She still had things at the college that she would take when she went home, to ship another time, or to leave behind.

  She arrived at Geni’s just after noon. They had lunch, talked and went through some more things. Later in the afternoon, there was a beep from a car. Geni looked out the window and smiled. “It’s Andy,” she said.

  “Papa?”

  “Yeah, I knew he’d want every second possible with you,” Geni told her.

  Carlee threw the backdoor open and ran to him. Geni loved seeing the two of them, imagining their years together.

  Earlier in the day, Geni had put on a pot of chicken and dumplings for their dinner.

  “That was some good, down-home, southern cooking,” Andy said sitting back patting his belly after he finished eating. The three of them shared a glass of wine before heading off to bed.

  Saturday morning, they finished packing what they were shipping. Andy planned to stop in St. Augustine when they left on Sunday and help load what was left at the college. Carlee and Marissa would complete the packing, cleaning and check out at the school on Monday, and Carlee would go south afterward to depart Wednesday morning for London.

  That evening, Carlee and Andy walked along the river. As they walked, he reached for her hand told her, “You can’t even imagine how badly I’m going to miss you.”

  “Papa, I know,” she said, and the tears started, “and I’m going to miss you so much that I can’t even put it into words.” He pulled her into his arms, and Andy cried too.

  Geni observed the closeness between them from the porch. She thought about their loss and she cried too. Andy had become a good friend. Thinking about Carlee leaving him saddened her, but having her as a daughter-in-law made her happy; she loved Carlee.

  They walked back up to the porch. “I wasn’t snooping,” she explained. “I came out to enjoy the jasmine; it smells so sweet in the evening. When I sat down, I saw the two of you.” Carlee went to Geni and hugged her. “Let’s go have some cobbler; I made peach.”

  Carlee and Andy started laughing. “Who told my secret?” Andy joked.

  “What secret?” Geni asked with a puzzled look.

  “He loves peach cobbler!” Carlee laughed, wiping her eyes. “Papa says he’d crawl over a dozen naked women for peach cobbler!”

  Laughter was just what they needed.

  Matthew called and talked to all of them, but he and Carlee talked late into the night. It was getting closer, and he was happy, but he knew the emotions both Carlee and Andy felt at her departure.

  ~ ~ ~

  Carlee made her way home on Monday evening. She and Marissa went to lunch after they’d loaded their cars. They talked about the last two years, friendship, and the future. Both knew they would always be friends. Marissa was heading back to Atlanta, but would return to Flagler in the fall. Carlee was taking the next semester off to spend with Matthew. As they got ready and prepared to go opposite directions, they cried together.

  She called Andy on the way to tell him she had a stop to make and would be there in about an hour. She pulled the car alongside the narrow roadway and walked to the grave. Looking out at the river she saw them to her right – a family of sandhill cranes. She sat on the ground quietly for a few minutes, gathering her thoughts as she watched them. In her mind she heard the words from “When I Look to the Sky” one of her favorite songs by Train.

  Cause when I look to the sky something tells me you're here with me

  And you make everything alright

  And when I feel like I'm lost something tells me you're here with me

  And I can always find my way when you are here

  “Mama,” she said aloud, “I wish I could share all of this with you. I feel so cheated. I feel you everywhere I turn, especially now, and it makes me miss you more and more.”

  Pausing a moment to keep her emotions in check, she pulled her knees to her chest and lowered her head. “This is such a special time, and I feel alone. Papa is doing everything he can to make it special. I am, and have been so blessed by him. But sometimes, a girl just needs her mama.”

  And as I float along this ocean I can feel you like a notion that won't seem to let me go

  “You would love Matthew, I just know it. He’s a good man, and I am so excited to share every tomorrow with him. I love you and I miss you.”

  Cause when I look to the sky something tells me you're here with me

  And you make everything alright

  And when I feel like I'm lost something tells me you're here with me

  And I can always find my way when you are here

  She looked up and saw the familiar maroon Jaguar making its’ way slowly to the place where she parked. She didn’t get up; she knew he was coming. This was one of the places they both found peace.

  “I figured I’d find you here when you called and said you were gonna be late. May I join you?” he asked as he sat on the ground beside her, pulling her close.

  “I was talking with mama,” she whispered as he slipped his arm around her shoulder. “Papa, I love you.”

  When they arrived home, Andy surprised her by having the entire family there. Seeing them all, the reality set in. There was pizza, cake, and a lot of love shared that evening. She looked across the room, more than once, to see tears in Andy’s eyes.

  Tuesday it was just the two of them, like it had been a lot the last six years. Carlee got up early to finish packing. She went to the kitchen and made breakfast. Everything was ready when Andy came out. He sat at the table, and she poured him coffee, both of them choking back emotions. They ate, talked, and cried together.

  “It’s almost time for you to go,” he said. “I am so happy that you found Matthew to share your life with.” He smiled, remembering, “When I saw the two of you dance to “The Love of my Life” at the ball, there was no question in my mind that you’d found yours. I knew so before, but that vision was affirmation. I had that in my life, but I never figured out what to do with it until it was way too late.”

  “I’m not gonna lie,” he said. “I can’t imagine what it’s gonna be like around here without you being around. College was different, you were just up the road and I was able to see you anytime I wanted.”

  “Carlee Elizabeth,” he said, “I didn’t think I could ever love or miss anymore more than your mama, but I was wrong. You are the greatest gift she ever gave me. I love you so much, I can’t believe it. If you’d been born mine I couldn’t love you more,” he paused, taking a deep breath. “And I am going to miss you like crazy.”

  “Papa,” was all she could say.

  She’d already said her good-byes to her family, but there they were at the terminal to say good-bye, again. As she went through security, she turned to wave; Kimmy had her arm around Andy’s waist, and Carlee cried again. She waved once more and continued on.

  She arrived in London that evening at nine, and Matthew was waiting for her. She didn’t run this time. She didn’t have to run, because this time she knew they’d be together forever.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX ~ Bamboozled

  Carlee and Matthew spent the next three weeks settling in. The school year was almost over for Matthew and they were enjoying bringing their lives together, learning a routine. Carlee spent the days looki
ng into school options for the January semester. She was also looking into their options for the trip to Tuscany. She loved them working together to make their flat ‘home;’ but she loved cooking and surprising Matthew with dinner each night more.

  She was putting finishing touches on the opening for camp. It gave her great joy to go each year, and she was happy that Andy and Matthew were going. Nathan would come mid-week. It was coming together nicely; she smiled thinking about it. And then she had a thought. Looking at the clock, calculating the time difference, she dialed the number and waited.

  “Well hello there!” Geni said in her rich southern accent when she answered. “This is a lovely surprise!”

  “I was just sitting here thinking of you and decided to call and say hey! Got coffee? I just made the ‘afternoon pot!’ They can have their hot tea,” she laughed.

  “I do,” Geni laughed. “Shall we share a cup?”

  “Pouring it now!”

  They visited and chatted for a while. Geni enjoyed Carlee sharing the details of their new life, and she smiled as she listened.

  “Hey, I need two cookie recipes.” Carlee said, dropping the first hint.

  “What kind? I have lots! I love baking. Matthew’s favorite is the tea balls,” she answered.

  “Just sugar cookies and chocolate chip for now, and tell me about the frosting stuff that you would use for decorating the sugar cookies.”

  “I’ll email the sugar cookie recipe, I have it saved. The chocolate chip recipe is on the package of chips. Do they have that kind there, the ones in the yellow bag? Can’t think of the name…”

  “I know which ones. I’ll be getting them there, but I will look here too. I might have to test them on Matthew! You know, I’ve only ever done the slice-and-bake kind. Kimmy doesn’t do homemade!” Carlee laughed. “And by the time I came along Nanny was over it. She still sews but she hasn’t baked in years,” she said dropping the second hint.

  “Get them here? Are you going to make them for Andy when you come?” Geni asked her.

  “He might like that, but he likes pie and cobbler way more than cookies. I’m actually working on the camp itinerary, and I’m thinking cookies would be good.”

  Oh, she’s good, Geni laughed to herself. No one had said a word about camp since the ball. She’d been waiting for it, bracing to be bamboozled. She had been thinking about it, but she was on the fence.

  Camp… she thought. Who knew at sixty-seven she would even be pondering summer camp for the very first time, and again she laughed. Pondering was the key word…

  “Well, my husband will be home soon and I need to make it look like I’ve actually accomplished something around here today!” Carlee laughed.

  “I’ll send that recipe. Kiss my son for me.”

  “Geni, I will be happy to do that! I love you. I’ll talk to you soon!” After she hung up, Carlee sat back, proud as a peacock. She knew Geni was thinking about it. The seed planted, she’d watered it, and now it was sprouting. That’s all she needed. Her mission was complete.

  When Matthew came in from work, Carlee was in the kitchen. She was intently studying a recipe, and there was stuff all over the counter.

  “Hello beautiful,” he said when he came in. “What’s all this?”

  “Well, I’m hoping stuffed shells are the outcome, but at this point it’s questionable!”

  He wrapped his arms around her, “I believe in you,” he laughed. “It sure smells good! I called Mom on my way home. She said she talked to you today, said she enjoyed it. That was nice Carlee.”

  “I called for a recipe,” she said. “Sugar cookies…” she looked up at him and smiled.

  “She’s a goner,” Matthew laughed. “Just like me! I talked to Cook today too. He wanted to know a good night to make stuffed chicken breasts the daily special.”

  “We have a three-month anniversary coming up!”

  “It’s only been three months?” she looked at him and smiled as he said it. “It feels like a lifetime,” he said.

  “I hope that’s a good thing!”

  “It’s the best thing,” Matthew said. “That smells really good, but I need to know something.”

  “Yes?” she said after a moment.

  “What’s for dessert?”

  “Well…” she said, giving him the ‘come with me’ finger, as she headed to their bedroom.

  Lying in bed that night Carlee couldn’t stop thinking about Geni and camp. “Matthew, do you think she’ll go?”

  “I can’t say for sure, but my guess would be that she’s thinking about it. Who can resist you?” he laughed, and pulled her into his arms. “I know I can’t.”

  ~ ~ ~

  Later that evening, Geni sat back with a glass of wine. She was thinking about camp. Part of her wanted to go because she was ready for the interaction. Another part was curious to see what the whole experience was about. She couldn’t imagine losing someone at a young age, but it was more about going through a frightening ordeal, such as cancer, and being so scared. Geni had never experienced cancer. Friends had their battles, but it had never touched her life personally.

  She thought of Carlee. Her passion was contagious, but it wasn’t just camp; it appeared it was life she was passionate about. Geni thought, if you’d known loss like she had, you’d look at life differently too.

  She went to the computer to send the cookie recipe to Carlee and found a note from a friend who was the treasurer for the Symphony telling her about the proceeds from the Holiday Music album Andy had done. It was an exciting amount.

  Good reason to call, to say thank you…, she thought.

  “Hey there,” Andy said, “nice to hear from you.”

  “Making the rounds today,” she laughed. “Carlee called this morning. She wanted to share coffee, so I poured a cup and we talked. Later, on his way home, Matthew called, and then I talked to both my guys here, and Percy, and Megs, so I figured a call to you pretty much covered the gamut!”

  “Glad you did; I’m missing Carlee today. Hey,” he laughed, “You shared coffee with her earlier, how ‘bout a glass of wine with me?”

  “I happen to have a glass now,” she told him.

  “Top it off and tell me what’s been going on.”

  “Oh, lots going on. I try to keep my time filled. We are in the midst of planning a big fiftieth anniversary gala for the Menner Center. I like the planning part, but I dread going. I don’t like the alone feeling when I go to those kind of things anymore,” she said and was quiet a moment, missing Tom. Andy didn’t miss the sadness in her voice.

  “But,” she said quickly, “I really called because I wanted to tell you about an email I received today. It was an update from the Symphony. I missed the last gathering because of the wedding, but there was some exciting news! The Schumacher Center has enough money to cover the operating expenses for the next year, and an inventory of non-perishable food items for meals to last six months, all from the holiday music! Thank you for that extraordinary gift.”

  “It was my pleasure, really. I enjoyed it and love that I could help.”

  “OK, so on that note, I have something to talk about. Nothing I need from you except to listen,” she told him.

  Thinking he knew exactly where this conversation was going Andy said, “Shoot, I’m ready.” He’d talked to Carlee earlier, as well.

  “Carlee dropped a subtle hint today about camp. It’s the first time she’s mentioned it since the night at the ball. She’s slick,” Geni laughed. “She asked for cookie recipes. I fell right in, blah, blah, blahing about baking and how much I enjoy it. She didn’t say a word about me going, just rolled right into Kimmy and slice-and-bake cookies, and Nanny quit baking years ago,” Geni laughed.

  “She’s good, but you’re only really a goner if she’s in front of you and flashes that smile, followed by the batting of the eyelashes,” he told her and laughed. “Geni, I’m not going to say anything to sway you but this, and I’m gonna tell you before I say it that it’s
profound, so ready yourself.”

  “When you see those kids, it’s life changing; I remember when Carlee came back the first year. She was a different kid, and really, it wasn’t until the third year that she really opened up. When I went after our trip to Europe, oh and I got suckered in big-time, it was incredible, and I am glad I went. The first time you sit in on a session or hang out with the kids at the campfire and see them really let their guard down… It’s awesome and now I’ll go every chance I can.”

  “Matthew said the same thing. The book showed it,” she added.

  “Geni, it’s not like back-packing in the woods, no showers, and eating twigs and nuts,” he laughed. “The cabins have AC and bathrooms, real bathrooms with hot-water showers. They eat great food that a crew prepares each day.”

  “So much for not saying anything to sway me,” she laughed.

  “For me, for now anyway, I see it as a week with Carlee close by. I miss her so much, and it’s only been a month.”

  “Matthew’s been over there long enough that I’ve adjusted. I’m thinking, that’s all I’m gonna say,” she laughed.

  They talked a while longer, and Andy asked more about the gala she had mentioned.

  “The Menners and my family, the Halls, were very good friends. It was Abigail Menner who encouraged my interest in the arts. Abigail had no daughters, and as I grew up, she kind of adopted me, my ‘nother mommy’.” Andy heard the smile in her voice as she said it.

  “When Jefferson Menner passed away, Abigail wrapped herself in promoting the Center. Tom helped get support, and when Abigail passed away, my mom and I jumped in headfirst. When my mom passed, I just kept it up. She thought a moment. “I was able to step back a little with the wedding, but now it’s getting down to the crunch and I’m feeling guilty because I haven’t been there to help.” She paused, and then added, “But I dread attending. Thomas and Brian will be there so I won’t be alone, but, well…”

 

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