The B*E*A*S*T* Within

by Rebecca Goings

  He knew damn well there wasn't another woman on the planet who would be able to accept him as Lanie had. He knew it must have been hard for her, but all she'd wanted to do was comfort him, even during his darkest hours.

  With a broken sigh, he tried again to concentrate on sleep, knowing he'd only be troubled by his dreams if he should succeed. But this time, instead of torture at the hands of B*E*A*S*T*, his dreams would torture him with images of the woman he loved.

  Twenty-Six

  Justin squinted as he drove, finally feeling his lack of sleep. But he'd be damned if he would fall asleep now. Noah had drifted off into a whimpering slumber, and Justin could hear his rhythmic breathing in the back of the truck. With a determined scowl, he concentrated hard on the road ahead.

  "Pull over, J. Let me drive.” Rogan's soft voice drew him out of his thoughts.

  "No,” he said simply.

  "Come on, I can tell you're beat. You've been driving for a few hours now, ever since Noah fell asleep. I've rested a bit, so pull over."

  "No, Wolfe. I need to drive."

  Rogan sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “What's the matter?"

  Justin could feel his eyes welling with tears and tried to steel himself. “It's my fault. All of it."

  "You couldn't have—"

  "It was my turn to watch! My turn to be awake, and I blew it! I fell asleep. And Tam took Noah's mate."

  "You've got to stop blaming yourself. Tam would have come regardless. He locked onto our signal, remember? We're both to blame."

  "No,” Justin said, shaking his head. “If I had been awake, we might have been able to stop him."

  Rogan scoffed. “Stop Tam? Can it even be done?"

  "With two of us we might have had a chance."

  "J, listen. There's nothing we could have done, okay? Tam is an evil, conniving asshole who duped us all."

  "He didn't dupe us,” Justin said under his breath.

  "What do you mean? What are you talking about?"

  Justin twisted his face and sighed. “I didn't forget about the GPS beacon."

  Silence filled the cab. “What?” Rogan said, his voice barely above a whisper.

  "I didn't forget about it. I wanted him to come. I wanted him to come so I could sink my talons into his jugular and watch him die."

  "Jesus, Justin,” Rogan said. “What the hell has gotten into you?"

  Emotions raged inside of him, and Justin couldn't tell if he was more angry at Tam or himself.

  "I wanted to make him pay—to see to it that he would never be able to hurt anyone again. When I realized he'd killed the woman I loved, I vowed to get revenge."

  "And you were going to gamble with everyone's lives for your own petty revenge?"

  "We could have taken him."

  Rogan threw up his hands. “It's like I'm talking to a brick wall!"

  "There's three of us, Wolfe!” Justin exclaimed. “You, me, and Noah. We could have taken him!"

  "Well, your little plan backfired, J, and now he's taken Lanie."

  "I know, I know. And we'll get her back, then I'm going to kill the bastard."

  "More like get yourself killed. He's a panther, you're a hawk. It's no big stretch to think he'll get the best of you."

  "Not if we give him the serum first."

  Rogan stared at him with his mouth open. “I want no part of your foolish plan, J. If you want to kill yourself, be my guest. I'm just gonna go in, release the others, and try to find out something about who I used to be. That's it."

  Justin shrugged, his face set in stone. “Suit yourself."

  * * * *

  It was dark again when Noah opened his eyes. They'd been driving all day. His belly growled something fierce and he groaned, holding his midsection. Leaning over, he opened one of the side compartments and pulled out a bag of beef jerky. The meat was hard and chewy, but it tasted good for the time being.

  Rogan was driving, and despite the late hour, both he and Justin were awake but not speaking to the other. Justin stared out the window at the inky blackness, and Rogan kept his eyes on the road. Noah could see Rogan's face in the mirror and couldn't tell if the scowl he wore was from anger or fatigue.

  "Need me to take over, Wolfe?” he offered between bites.

  "I'm fine,” Rogan answered, seeming to snap out of his deep thoughts to glance at Noah in the rear-view mirror.

  "Jerky?” Noah offered, handing it to him.

  "Sure.” Rogan took the bag and fished through it for a piece. Noah took back the bag and pulled out another piece, then waved the bag under Justin's nose. “You?"

  Justin shook his head. “Not hungry."

  After a few moments of silence, Noah said, “I know who I am. Who I used to be. Lanie and I found out just yesterday."

  "Oh?” Rogan asked.

  "Yeah. I've been having these dreams, kind of like the ones I had a little while back when we were both still at the B*E*A*S*T* compound, but these were more vivid. The woman in my dream called me Anthony Mercer, so Lanie called Information in just about every city in Arizona to find the right listing."

  "And she found it?” Justin asked.

  "Yup. The lady said Anthony had been killed in a horrible car fire a couple of years ago. Even verified that his middle name was Noah."

  "Damn,” Rogan said.

  "Yeah, creepy, isn't it? Said we'd been engaged to be married when I passed away, and that I was once in the Marines."

  "No shit?” Justin exclaimed, turning in the seat to look at him.

  "Nope,” Noah answered with a small grin.

  "I used to be in the Marines as well,” he said, glancing between Noah and Rogan. “Found out not too long ago when I hacked into B*E*A*S*T*'s computers."

  "You hacked into their computers?” Noah asked.

  It was Justin's turn to grin. “Indeed I did."

  "Well, it's great that you finally know who you are, Tiger,” Rogan said. “And what a coincidence that both of you were once in the military during your lives before, huh?"

  Justin gasped. “You don't think it's too much of a coincidence, do you?"

  "Now what are you talking about, J?” Rogan asked, rolling his eyes.

  "Both of us being in the military. Is that just a coincidence?"

  "Could be,” Noah said. “A lot of men are in the service."

  Justin shook his head. “I don't believe for one second that anything B*E*A*S*T* does is coincidental."

  Rogan's eyes narrowed. “So you're suggesting that the American military—the government knows what this agency is doing? That's crazy."

  "Is it?” Justin countered. “How are they getting their funding? Where do the scientists come from? And how exactly would an agency such as this pick their subjects? Don't you think they'd want the best of the best instead of some random Joe off the street corner?"

  "You make it sound as if the goal for their experiments is to create some kind of ... super soldier,” Noah said.

  "Isn't that exactly what we are?” Justin countered. “What the hell is our purpose if not to be the ultimate killing machine? Think about it! Who would want to implement this kind of killing machine? Who would benefit most from trained killers? The U.S. military. The U.S. government."

  Silence filled the truck for a few moments while they all pondered the implications. Noah shivered at the thought. From the way Rogan was rubbing his arms, he knew he was thinking the same thing. Holy shit.

  "It sounds too much like the rantings of a crazy conspiracy theorist to me,” Rogan said with a clearly forced grin.

  "It might sound crazy,” Justin said, “but that doesn't mean it's not true. When you hack into the computers and find your file, Wolfe, I'd be willing to bet you'll find out that you were in some branch of the armed forces. And if you were, then it just proves that I'm right."

  "Let's hope you're not,” Rogan said. “Cause if you are and the American government is backing the B*E*A*S*T* agency, then there's nowhere in this entire country that we'll
be able to hide."

  Noah spit out his last piece of beef jerky and tossed the bag to the floor. He suddenly didn't feel much like eating.

  Twenty-Seven

  Lanie opened her eyes, but it did her no good. She was surrounded by inky blackness. Try as she might to strain her eyes, not a single shaft of light penetrated the gloom.

  Her arms screamed from being held high above her head in some kind of manacles. Giving them a few tugs, she found they would not be moved. The cold stone she could feel behind her radiated through her skin, chilling her to the bone. Dear God, was she naked? With a groan, she shivered and knew that she'd probably be able to see her breath if someone turned on the lights.

  Swallowing hard, Lanie tried in vain to quiet her thundering heart. Where was she? The smell in the room was enough to make her gag, reminding her of rotting meat. Her stomach almost revolted right then and there, but somehow she managed to quell her fear.

  Lanie didn't remember much of anything beyond the parking lot of the motel. She remembered talking to a man, and that was it. Sifting through her memories, she tried to piece together what had happened and realized that the man had grabbed her in an iron grip. No matter how hard she'd tried to twist out of his grasp, his arms had tightened like a vise. She remembered he'd covered her mouth with his hand, and that's when she must have lost consciousness. She couldn't remember a thing after that.

  Lanie shuddered. That hadn't been just an ordinary man, it had been Tam, the very one she and Noah were running from! He was the panther, the one who'd made that ungodly howl in the forest. He's the one that had been chasing them through both Colorado and Arizona.

  Lanie shifted her weight to ease the pressure on her arms, but her entire body cried out at the effort. She groaned in response. How long had she been chained against this wall? She desperately wanted to cry out for help, but she didn't dare bring attention to herself for fear of what that might bring. But how long could she possibly stand there? How much longer could her body take?

  She heard a low growl from somewhere in the darkness, and it made her blood turn to ice. It was close—in the room with her! Her heart leapt into her throat, almost choking her with fear. She heard it again, this time accompanied by the sound of shuffling across the floor. It sounded big.

  She could also make out the sound of footsteps in the room, soft as they padded across the floor but almost thunderous to her straining ears. Another long, low growl followed, this time right in front of her. That wasn't the growl of any kind of dog, it was a large—a very large cat. Like a panther.

  Sweet Jesus, was Tam in there with her? Sudden tears sprang to her eyes as she tried again to free herself from the wall.

  "Please ... oh, please,” she cried. “Please don't eat me. Don't hurt me. I ... I know y—you can ... understand me."

  Something cold and wet touched her thigh, and Lanie shrieked.

  "Please don't kill me!"

  Tears rolled down her cheeks, and her terror was intensified because she couldn't see him before her. Then again, she was pretty sure she didn't want to see a huge black panther standing perilously close to her.

  Now it was sniffing her. She knew because she could feel the hot puffs of breath against her skin. Lanie's eyes bulged and she shivered again, scared out of her mind. When the big cat sniffed between her legs, she cried out once more, hoping for mercy although she wasn't sure the animal or the man was even capable of mercy.

  The creature took long, deep breaths of her essence, making Lanie's skin crawl. What the hell was he doing? Was he planning to ... Oh, God, was he going to rape her? Lanie gasped at the sudden feeling of warm hands on her calves, slowly working their way up, fingers digging into her cold flesh.

  "You smell delicious,” he whispered.

  She knew he must have shifted, but that didn't allay her fear at all. She closed her eyes and tried not to whimper.

  "You will be my mate, Lanie Erickson. In every way."

  From somewhere deep inside her, she found the courage to speak. “I ... I'm Noah's mate,” she managed to say.

  "No!” Tam exclaimed, his voice ricocheting on the walls and making Lanie tremble so violently that the chains holding her rattled. “No, he is not,” Tam continued in a much calmer voice. “You are mine—the scientists will see to that."

  "Oh my God,” Lanie said. “You can't mean to ... to make me into a shifter?” Her entire body lurched at the thought.

  "Oh, yes,” Tam said, his hands capturing her breasts. He rolled her nipples between his thumb and forefingers. “A panther like me. You will be reprogrammed—cleansed you might say."

  "Reprogrammed?” she whispered. “You mean mind-wiped?"

  Tam chuckled, still playing with her breasts. “Yes, my sweet. You'll remember nothing but me, want no one but me. And I will be only too happy to oblige you."

  "I will never be your mate,” she spat, trying to move her body away from his greedy hands. His fingers suddenly dug into her skin, making her cry out.

  "Yes, you will, Lanie,” he growled. “You will be mine, I will see to it."

  "Please, Tam, don't hurt me,” she pleaded, hoping against hope that he had some shred of compassion.

  "The only pain you will feel is if you resist,” he answered, his breath raising the hair on the back of her neck. “So don't fight it. Surrender to your fate."

  Lanie couldn't control the heart-wrenching sobs that echoed through the darkness.

  * * * *

  "I'm worried about Justin."

  Noah looked up at Rogan from the gas nozzle as he placed it in the top of the Hummer's tank. “Oh?"

  "Yeah. He's obsessed with getting his revenge on Tam."

  "Revenge? What are you talking about?"

  Rogan sighed. “We're not the only ones who can remember bits and pieces of our lives before. Justin can remember the moment he was taken by B*E*A*S*T*. And it was Tam who came for him, killing his fiancée in the process."

  "Good Lord.” Noah rubbed his eyes and groaned. He glanced at the restrooms of the gas station where Justin had wandered off to a few minutes before.

  "He's not going to stop until blood is shed,” Rogan went on. “But instead of Tam's, I'm worried that it might be his own. While you were asleep earlier, he told me that he didn't forget about our GPS locator beacon. He wanted Tam to come."

  "What?" Noah pierced Rogan with an icy glare. His stomach bottomed out at the thought of Justin just letting Tam take Lanie.

  "He didn't know he would fall asleep is the thing,” Rogan said, continuing. “He figured the three of us could take Tam, but he didn't bother informing you or me. Personally, I think he wanted to confront Tam on his own. I mean, we all have a grudge against the guy, but this is consuming Justin, and I think he just might get himself killed."

  Justin emerged from the restrooms and began walking back toward the truck. Noah growled deep in his throat and approached the younger man.

  "What'd I miss?” Justin asked, giving Noah his infuriating grin.

  Noah grabbed Justin's shirt in his fists and swung him around, slamming his back against the grill of the Hummer. “If I catch you doing a stupid, insane stunt like that again, I'll kill you myself."

  "What the hell, Noah?” Justin asked.

  "I told him what you confessed to me about Tam,” Rogan said, topping off the gas tank and returning the nozzle to its cradle.

  Justin looked back and forth between the two men. “Look, Noah, I can explain—"

  "Rogan just did. How dare you? How dare you take a chance like that!"

  "It wasn't supposed to go down like it did. I didn't think that—"

  "Exactly!” Noah exclaimed, rattling Justin's skull. “You didn't think, and now Lanie is gone—gone! All because you wanted to play vigilante and had a bone to pick with Tam! Hell, kid, we've all got issues with that asshole, but if I catch you getting in my way again, Tam will be the least of your worries! That damned black panther is mine. Do you understand?"

  Justin scowled
darkly and took a few moments before answering with a curt nod. “Maybe I should just leave,” he said. “It's obvious that neither of you understand why I did what I did."

  "Go ahead,” Noah said, releasing him so suddenly that he stumbled a bit. “No one's stopping you."

  Adjusting his clothes, Justin gave Rogan and Noah a withering stare. “Fine. See you both in hell.” With that, he stalked away, making his way to a patch of trees at the side of the road.

  "Justin—” Rogan called out, but Noah's hand on his shoulder stopped him.

  "Let him go,” Noah said as he watched him disappear into the foliage. “He's too full of his own vengeance to see clearly. He'd only get us captured, or killed."

  "But you know what he's going to try to do,” Rogan said. “He's going to go back to B*E*A*S*T* and try to finish things himself!"

  Noah nodded and watched as a majestic hawk suddenly took flight from the patch of trees, beating its wings furiously to gain speed and altitude. “I'm sure he will."

  "Well, we can't just let him."

  "Why not?” Noah asked, turning to look his friend in the eye. “If Justin goes back, he's going to fall right into Tam's trap and get caught. Then he'll be scheduled for reprogramming. Once we get there, we'll rescue him along with the others."

  Rogan sighed and climbed into the passenger seat, slamming the door shut behind him. “I hope you're right, Tiger. I hope Tam doesn't kill him."

  "He won't."

  "How do you know?"

  "Because, just like the rest of us, he's worth a lot of money to B*E*A*S*T*'s investors. If he dies, they'd be very unhappy."

  "You think they'd actually reprimand Tam? He's one of their best shifters."

  "Hell yes they would! They'd torture him to within an inch of his life, simply because he is one of the best. And Tam damn well knows it."

  "I hope Justin will be all right,” Rogan muttered as they got back in the Hummer.