"Just wait until you find a mate,” Noah said. “She might think differently."
Wade shook his head. “I don't think there's a woman out there who can put up with me."
"Amen to that!” Rogan exclaimed with a laugh, slapping Wade in the middle of his back. “Finally the boy has seen the light."
"I'm serious,” Wade said, looking uncomfortable. “I hate myself. How could a woman love me?"
"You might be surprised,” Noah said as he glanced at the cabin and smiled.
Thirty-Eight
Richard Erickson was an imposing man, tall and lean with a shock of white hair and a mustache to match. Noah could see where Lanie got her beautiful eyes, but he could also see that she'd received her smile from her mother, Gloria Erickson. Noah sat at the table as dinner was passed around, grinning shyly whenever his eyes met those of Lanie's parents.
"I don't think I ever thanked you for saving my life, sir,” Noah said, glancing across the table at Richard.
"I don't believe I thanked you either, son,” he said, his rich baritone filling the room.
"For what?"
"For saving my daughter's life."
Noah blushed and picked at his mashed potatoes. “I think I ruined her life."
Lanie scoffed and took his hand. “You did no such thing."
He looked at her but said nothing, simply squeezing her fingers.
"That's not what I hear,” Richard said, wiping his mouth with his napkin. “The way my daughter talks about you, I wouldn't be surprised if you could walk on water."
"Oh, really?” Noah said, grinning at Lanie.
"You have plans for a wedding?” Gloria looked at him pointedly, clearly expecting an answer.
"Well, yes ma'am,” Noah replied. “I want Lanie to be mine for as long as she'll have me. Hopefully it's for the rest of my life."
"You know it will be,” Lanie assured him.
He smiled. “But I'm not sure I can marry her until I change my name. If it's true that Rogan and I are at the top of B*E*A*S*T*'s most wanted list, then I can't go traipsing about leaving a paper trail as Noah Carpenter."
Richard nodded as he took a bite of his roast beef.
"I shouldn't even be talking to you,” Noah went on, “but I know Lanie had to call you here to patch me up, so I have to warn you that B*E*A*S*T* will probably try to contact you, maybe pretend to be from the F.B.I. and claim they're looking for me or even for Lanie. They'll more than likely make up stories about crimes we've committed, but you can't tell them where we are."
"No, of course not,” Richard said.
"In fact, we probably won't tell even you where we are. We'll keep in touch, but you'll have to wait to hear from us. Don't try to find us."
Gloria dabbed at her eyes as she looked across the table at her daughter. “Does it have to be this way?"
Rogan and Noah exchanged knowing looks. It wasn't going to be easy to separate his mate from her family.
"Yes,” Lanie said, and Noah could tell by her scent that she was saddened at the thought of leaving her family again. “Mom, these guys are ruthless. If they know you've been helping us, they'd kill you without a thought. That's why I haven't tried to make contact before now."
"They found your car,” her mother said, more tears filling her eyes. “They found your ruined car at the bottom of that ravine, and we all feared the worst. You can't believe what the news reports were saying about this young man of yours."
"Believe me, I know what they said.” Lanie stabbed at her vegetables.
"Well, listen,” Richard said, “if you kids need anything—anything at all—you let us know."
"Sir, you've given us so much already,” Noah protested.
"I'm a dad. It's what I do. But I do have one thing to say to you, young man."
Noah looked up, taken aback by Richard's sudden change of tone. “And what's that?” he asked warily.
Pointing his fork at him, Richard said, “You'd best take good care of my daughter, Noah Carpenter, or this secret agency will be the least of your problems."
Lanie gaped at her father, but Noah grinned. “You have my word on that, sir. I'll die before I see her come to any harm."
Richard nodded as if he expected nothing less. “If I hadn't been the one to fish three bullets out of you, son, I might not believe your words."
"Well, thank you again,” Noah said.
"I couldn't disappoint my little girl,” Richard said, squeezing Lanie's shoulder.
Noah's heart swelled to near bursting. Not only had he gained a mate in all this madness, he'd gotten a family as well. Never before had he felt so ... wanted. With a smile on his face, he ate another of her mother's biscuits.
* * * *
"I have a wife."
Rogan's voice was soft, but Noah heard it nonetheless in the cool evening air. He was sitting on the front steps of the cabin with both Rogan and Wade, staring up at the night sky. The moon wasn't out, but the snow seemed to glow regardless. The clouds had since moved on, revealing a beautiful tapestry of stars, each one twinkling down upon them.
"Are you kidding?” Noah asked, somewhat shocked at his friend's words.
"Nope. I've been dreaming about her, but I haven't told anyone about it. I saw her picture in my file at the B*E*A*S*T* compound, and I was shocked as shit to find out she's a real person. And not only that, she's my wife. Her name is Marlie Silver."
"So your real name is Silver?"
Rogan nodded. “Matthew Silver."
"What are you going to do?” Noah asked.
"I don't know. Haven't thought it through yet.” Rogan picked up a rock and tossed it across the yard. “You say the woman you've had dreams about told Lanie that you were killed in a car accident?"
"Yeah,” Noah replied. “B*E*A*S*T* must have faked my death somehow."
"I have a feeling they did that with all of us,” Wade said, gazing at the stars.
"You're probably right,” Noah agreed.
"And if that's the case,” Rogan said, “then this woman most likely thinks she's a widow.” He pulled the edges of his jacket closer together. “But she's not."
"Where does she live?” Noah asked.
"Alaska."
"Alaska? Holy crap, how are you going to get all the way up there?"
"Steal a car, hitchhike, walk—hell, I don't know. But she has a right to know."
"Are you sure, man?” Wade asked, leaning in close to him. “What if she's moved on, gotten remarried. What then?"
Rogan shook his head and shrugged. “I don't know. I mean, I know that B*E*A*S*T* probably obtained all the pertinent paperwork to make my ‘death’ legal, so for all intents and purposes, Matthew Silver is dead. But I'm not. Does that mean that if she's remarried, her new marriage is null and void? Or does it mean I'm simply no longer married?"
"I don't know,” Noah said, rubbing his injured shoulder. “But it sounds like this is going to bother you until you find out for sure. It's altogether possible that she hasn't found another man. Maybe she's still pining away over you."
Rogan scoffed. “Yeah, and how exactly is this reunion going to go down? How do you explain to a woman who shared your life before—who loved the man you used to be—that you're now a monster? ‘Hey, look at me, honey. I'm not dead after all, and wait ‘til you see what I can do now.’”
"Just about give the poor woman a heart attack,” Wade said with a chuckle.
"Right. That's what I'm thinking,” Rogan said.
"Maybe you should go and find her,” Noah said. “Maybe case her house a little while and find out as much information as you can, then try to break the news to her gently.” Noah squinted up at the stars. “It's worth a try."
"Yeah, but if I go look for her in Alaska, wouldn't that be the first place B*E*A*S*T* is going to look for me?"
"Maybe. But I don't think B*E*A*S*T* accosted the lady Lanie talked to. What was her name again?” Noah furrowed his brow as he tried to remember. “Patricia, that's it."
"It's possible, but they might not expect us to go looking for the people from our life before. They seem to think their mind-wipes are infallible, but I'd be willing to bet that every single shifter at that compound could remember something."
Wade nodded. “Noah's right. A lot of people I talked to down in the dungeons could remember bits and pieces, sometimes even just shades of a memory, and they all hid that information from the scientists. I was the stupid one who had to go and tell them that I could remember things, and what did I gain? Days of being medicated as I waited for reprogramming."
"I'm sorry about that, Wade,” Rogan said, patting his friend on the shoulder.
"Don't be,” Wade said. “I don't blame you. It's those bastards who deserve all the blame—the scientists, the benefactors, hell, even some of our fellow shifters are the ones I hold accountable."
"Well, if this agency is as big as we think it is,” Rogan said, “then Noah and I just opened an epic-sized can of worms. I can't even think of a way they'll be able to contain all of the shifters, unless they plan to kill every single one of us. Makes me wonder if the security we used to feel in knowing they wouldn't risk harming us has finally come to an end."
Noah nodded. “Yeah, I have a feeling that all bets are off now."
All three men stared up at the stars in uncomfortable silence.
Thirty-Nine
While the men talked on the porch, Lanie and her mother washed the dishes, and her father put them back in the cupboards after they were rinsed and dried.
"Do you love him?” Gloria asked, handing Lanie a cup.
"More than I ever thought I could love a man,” Lanie answered, knowing full well that she had a silly grin on her face.
"Are you sure, honey? You've only been with Noah for a little while.” Richard was always the voice of reason.
"I'm sure, Dad,” she said. “It may only have been a few days since this all began, but it feels like so much longer. It's almost as if Noah and I have known each other for years."
"A traumatic experience can bring two people closer together than they would be otherwise,” Richard said, giving her a small hug. “Believe me, I know."
Lanie knew what he meant. Not only was her father a surgeon, he was a veteran of the Vietnam War as well. Lanie could only imagine the type of traumatic experiences he was talking about.
"Does he love you?” Gloria wanted to know, this time handing her daughter a plate.
"Yes, I have no doubt about that.” Especially not after he'd come to her for a third helping of lovemaking the previous night. Lanie smiled just thinking about it.
"But, honey, is this what you really want?” Gloria asked.
Lanie glanced at her mother and got a worried look. She knew her mom wouldn't be satisfied until she knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that her daughter was happy with the man she'd chosen.
"Yes, Mom,” she said with a smile. “I never thought for one second that this would be the path I'd take, but I can't leave him. I can't afford to lose him. I love him with everything I am, and I don't think I could go on living if I had to be separated from him."
Gloria looked over her shoulder at Richard and grinned. “Sounds familiar, doesn't it?"
Lanie's father nodded and gave his wife a kiss on the forehead. “It does. But unfortunately, we had to be separated for a time."
"It must have been hell,” Lanie said, shaking her head, unable to imagine it. Her father was talking about the war and how their only lifeline to each other had been the letters they'd written.
"It was at times,” her mother said, handing her some flatware to rinse. “And I don't think we ever got out of bed the first month after he came back home to me."
"Mother!” Lanie was so shocked that she dropped the fork she'd been holding.
Gloria blushed. “All I'm saying, honey, is that if you love Noah, then don't ever let him go."
With a grin, Lanie kissed her mother on the cheek and whispered, “Thanks, Mom.” Turning around, she poked her father in the ribs and said playfully, “Stud."
Richard chuckled. “Was there ever any doubt?"
The men wandered in from the porch, and Lanie watched as Noah scanned the cabin until his eyes rested on her. The gentle smile he gave her warmed her heart.
"Goodnight, all,” Rogan said, holding up his hand as he walked past the kitchen to the couch.
"Yeah, I second that,” Wade murmured behind a yawn.
"Goodnight, boys,” Gloria said as she turned off the water and wiped her hands on a towel.
Clearing his throat, Noah entered the kitchen and leaned on the countertop. “Lanie and I will be leaving in the morning."
Gloria's smile faded. “I figured you would,” she said, her disappointment obvious.
"We can't stay here forever, Mom,” Lanie said, trying to spare Noah anymore discomfort. “We're still so close to the B*E*A*S*T* compound, and it's only a matter of time before they find us here. We have to move on."
"I know,” Gloria said, dabbing at her eyes. “I just wish we could have had a little while longer."
"I'll write,” Lanie promised. “I'll send postcards, but you've got to agree to burn them after you get them."
Her father held up his hand. “Scout's honor."
"Thanks, Dad,” she said, smiling.
Noah watched as she put down her own dishrag and turned to smile at him. After closing the gap between them, Lanie leaned into him, making sure not to bump his injured arm. He wrapped his good arm around her shoulder.
"I'll have more pain medication ready for you by morning,” Richard offered. “I have some in my bag."
"Thank you, sir. I appreciate that, and you don't have to worry about Wade and Rogan.” Noah pointed over his shoulder with his thumb. “They'll be moving on in the morning as well."
"I hope you boys will be all right.” Lanie's mom chewed the inside of her bottom lip.
"I'm sure we will be, ma'am,” Noah said. “Just have to lay low."
"Remember to keep one eye on the road and one on your back,” Richard said as he held out his hand to shake Noah's in a friendly handshake. “It was good to meet you, son."
Noah nodded. “Good to meet you too, sir. I was beginning to think I never would."
Richard smiled before he hugged his daughter. “Will we see you in the morning?"
"Oh, yes,” Noah said, pulling Lanie close once more. “We'll leave at dawn."
"Do you even know where you're going?” Richard asked.
"Haven't the foggiest,” Noah replied.
They all smiled.
Forty
"Take a shower with me."
Noah's whispered words to her early the next morning made Lanie shiver despite being snuggled close to him under the blanket they shared. “What about your arm?"
"Still hurts something fierce, but I figure we can change my dressings afterward."
"All right."
"Besides, I must smell awful."
"Well,” Lanie said with a grin as she slipped off the bed, “I wasn't going to say anything, but..."
With a growl, Noah sprang off the mattress and chased her into the master bathroom. It didn't take long before the steam from the shower spray fogged up the room.
"Let's get that bandage off you,” Lanie said, peeling it away.
Once the gauze was gone, she gasped at the sight of the three raw, reddened wounds that marred his perfect skin. With careful fingers, she touched each one.
"I could have lost you,” she whispered, feeling sudden tears in her eyes.
"I could have lost you,” he countered, caressing her face.
"I can't believe you took three bullets for me."
"I would have let Tam kill me if I'd thought it would save your life."
Lanie bit her lip. “I've never known a man like you, Noah."
"That's an understatement,” he said with a grin.
Lanie waved her hand in front of her face.
“Besides being a shifter. No one has ever loved me as ... fiercely as you do."
"I'm an alpha male and you're my mate.” He shrugged. “What can I say? I protect what's mine, take care of what's mine, and love what's mine to the best of my ability."
Grabbing his hand, Lanie smiled and led him into the tub, adjusting the showerhead to the right setting and angle.
"That you do,” she said, taking hold of the soap. “And you do it well."
"I'm glad to hear that, baby,” he whispered as he pressed her against the tile. “You do it well too."
"Wait!” She squealed, holding up the soap. “What about getting clean?"
"Later,” he said, his voice husky. “Right now I want to be dirty."
Lanie giggled but didn't stop him as his mouth began a sensual exploration of her neck. After a minute, he groaned with frustration, looking at his injured shoulder.
"Damn, this is going to be hard."
Lanie grinned wickedly as she grasped his length in her hands. “It's already hard.” He gazed at her with fire in his eyes and said, “So it is."
As she stroked him, she felt his entire body shudder.
"I want you inside of me, Noah Carpenter,” she whispered, kissing his chest and tasting his skin with her tongue.
Grabbing hold of her hair in his left hand, he pulled her head back and growled. “Then let's take a bath instead."
He claimed her mouth with his, and Lanie answered his passion with her own. Leaning over, she fumbled with the faucet and plugged the tub. As the water rose, so did the need spiraling inside of her, and when Noah pulled her down on top of him, she welcomed him with a pleasured gasp.
"I love that little sound you make,” he said, biting her neck.
"I make a lot of sounds,” she said breathlessly.
"I mean the one you make when I enter you."
"Mmm, it just feels so good."
"Amen to that,” he said, squeezing her backside with his hand as he guided her in her rhythm.
It didn't take long until the world shattered, leaving nothing but Noah surrounding her—filling her, loving her. As she kissed him fervently, she could only hope that he knew exactly what he meant to her. For the rest of her life, she would endeavor to tell him.
The B*E*A*S*T* Within Page 18